Escape to the Movies: Legion

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If Morgan Freeman is not God in this movie, then it's not cannon.

at least i thought the action would hold my attention but apparently it wont. thanks for saving me a few bucks

Am I the only one that noticed this movie is saying God is pro-choice? I mean the 'Angels' are trying to kill a pregnant women before she gives birth. They're not doing it before she gets pregnant, and once the baby is born apparently it's too late for them. So in other words, they've been sent to perform an abortion, and God's cool with that.

Just thought it was kind of funny!

This was one of those movies where upon seeing the trailer I thought "well at least the reviews will be entertaining," yeah.

WHOA! SWEET REVIEW, DUDE!

Well, being a bible burner, I really don't have nay sympathy for most movies laced with religious overtone, with the exception of Eva. I can agree that GIGANTIC ROBOTS in a Japanese geekfestival of a series makes my day, even when it all comes down to the big "it's a trap!" moments, in Central Dogma.... good times.

However awful though Bob, I am still tempted to see this movie. Not in theatres, but when it's free on my cable box, and surrounded by a bunch of snarky-comment ready friends.
Because I would really like to see that posessed Gramma kick some ass. :3

ShadowKirby:
If Morgan Freeman is not God in this movie, then it's not cannon.

Quoted for truth.

From the trailers, and indeed your review, this just seems like Left Behind 4 Dead, which I can honestly say would be interesting in theory, but apparently the execution is incredibly lacking. You'd think they'd at least have been able to make a -decent- mindless action flick out of it.

wooty:
Those "zombies" looked like they just ripped them straight out of I Am Legend

Needed to find work after I suppose, lol.

This looks really good, should be fun when it finally comes out!

Sounds like prime RiffTrax material!
I'm gonna go watch Bill and Ted again...

Yay! An actual informative review again. Happy times. Sadly, for now I am far too tired to look up who the hell Coco is. It will haunt my half-asleep dreams.

I don't wanna see it. Ever since Dogma I got sick of renegade angel anything in cinema. When are those video game movies gonna be ready? That's what I'm really waiting for.

Over all I think I've once again put Legion on my "Wait for DVD release" status.

"The Second Mortal Kombat movie" Ouch!

(The one movie I nearly walked out on, except that there was a guy at the end of the aisle continually sucking at his drink bottle that suggested some kind of oral fixation I didn't want to get near...)

this film looks awful bad action and bad CGI I mean how do you fuck that up

Another good movie that turns the whole "Angels are badasses" thing on its head is, in my opinion, Dogma.

Sure, Affleck and Damon take it in turns to do some angelic killin' action, but it's very tongue in cheek. And Alan Rickman's Metatron is incredible.

Evangelion=AWESOME

Yes Movie bob, thats the truth.

I think I'll still go see it with a group of friends just for the lulz, but thank you bob for keeping my standards safely low.

Oh, and please no more of the "bill & ted" impressions. that would be nice.

Angels aren't God's black ops team. They're about as subtle as an elephant in a tutu dancing down main street. (Now that I think about it, I would pay to see an angel in a tutu destroying the world... preferably while performing ballet while doing it...) Anyway, angels don't use machine guns, their main weapons are gigantic fireballs, comets, and turning the populations of entire towns to salt or something. Sighs.

I'm with you Bob.

EDIT: And am I the only one tired of that stupid bible quote "I am Legion, for we are many" getting quoted in places where it either doesn't belong or makes no sense (I'm looking at you Mass Effect) or because at this point it's just so damn cliched? The only ones who ever did it right was Millenium, but that was because they implied that the demon was actually Legion himself. I know it's cool and all but seriously, does it have to show up in almost every supernatural show/movie that deals with demons/angels ever? At this point I just want to kick everyone who does for being so wholly unoriginal.

That's my rant of the day.

Hahaha, a Shakespsearian interpretation of Goku vs Vegeta would actually be kind of hilarious. I would laugh all over that.

I figured this movie would end up lame.

Mortal Kombat Annilation, the only movie I regret seeing in theaters. Of course, I was only a pre-teen at the time and didn't know any better of trying to find out if it will be a over hour and half suckfest. Still, the line where Jax said "I'll take Mr Ed" when refering to Montaro did make me laugh.

Wait, oops, back to the topic at hand, sorry. I loved the Bill and Ted things in this review. Kind of did set the tone of how people could believe the type of subject matter this film is in can be merged with badass moments did get overused. The only movie I believe that did the whole badass angels thing right, was in Dogma.

Oh, and one more thing. I'd be interested in watching a shakespearion play of sorts about Goku vs Vegeta. And if they were to do that with Evangelion instead, it would probably be even more awesome. LOL

Well at least I know my suck-dar is still working fine. I also never realized "The Crow" had christian allegories. I just thought it was a really long music video for The Cure.

Great review Bob liked it alot better than last week's! I think we all knew it would suck when we saw that slack jaw fellow in the yellow hood. But great review, I think I look forward to Escape To The Movies as much as Zero Punctuation at this point!

"Shakespeare in the park recreation of Goku versus Vegeta."

That, sir, is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

cherubs mutilating people...genius

dont know why people got all pissy bout your critique over book of eli. thought the film was w/e, but your religious opinion is your religious opinion (the religious overtones in the movie were kinda crap anyways).

Ps: I felt your childhood pain already - 7 years in a JESUIT all-guy school. that was a lil much

Lovin' the review as usual, Bob, and I agree, it looks goddamned (pun not intended) boring

oh ggaa....bob....well done sir....well done.......LOL

At least this time you took the time and riped it properly instead of whining about an odd plot issue on a other wise good action flick.

As someone else in this thread commented, I too am Christian and found this to be blatantly...well, not insulting because "oh my dear, God would never do THAT", but in the "wow, did these guys even go to Sunday School at least? Ow, my brain".

- God says he'll never do something like flooding the Earth again to wipe people out because they've grown sinful. Ok, so that means...he needs to wipe everyone out using Angels instead? What, did he just get sick of it and say "fuck it, we're cutting things short early"?

- Isn't Lucifer (Satan) supposed to be the one wanting to wipe people out? What's he doing in all this? Is he laughing his ass off screaming "YOU SEE?! I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THEM ALL ALONG!" or something? Wouldn't this, in fact, be a good time for him to try enlisting people onto his side (assuming he tries to "steal souls away" to begin with, which I've never quite believed)?

- So, Lucifer, who himself was an Angel, couldn't beat God, but Archangel Michael and some fetus ARE? Huh?!

- Y'know, I get using that "We Are Legion" thing for your title, sure, but that was a bunch of demons possessing some guy not angels. Get it right you lazy hacks.

It's like this whole film fails from any basic understanding of Christian theology. You don't even have to believe in God to see all the flaws with this thinking. I hope all the previews finally stop playing for it as well. I mean, the studios must know they have a forgettable piece of crap on their hands if they are putting commercials up for it 24/7.

This is the sort of film that is just as misguided as the entire music industry. They are trying to intrigue 16 year old kids that have no understanding of anything and say "HEY LOOK! IT'S A GREAT FILM!". But it's not going to work.

I was afraid for a moment as well, as there are two tiny, tiny, TINY details related to an idea I have for some sort of media series (TV, book, comic, I really don't know) that I've slowly been developing the past few years. It's got that World of Darkness sort of vibe, but with Christianity at the center. However, the intent isn't to be "edgy" nor is it to be preachy. I had the idea because 1) I figured it was entertaining, and 2) could provide a way for me to discuss philosophy and theology on Christianity that wouldn't be shoving it in people's faces. I've come to learn a lot the past several years of becoming a Christian, and you begin to see how many things people are completely wrong about (Christian and Non alike). So sure, I'd like to do something epic and Gothy just because it would be fun entertainment, and wouldn't even be intended to be good theology (considering I'd be tossing some Catholic ideas in to boot), but would also try and give SOME thought provoking material.

Maybe I'm asking too much to hope industry professionals might do the same thing?

Wow, this trailer just totally kills my want to see this movie.

Oh wait, no it didn't.

It would take all of the angels in heaven approximately 10 seconds to kill everything on earth.

Angels aren't like Gods black ops team, they're like Gods Space Marines. Anyone recall that story in the bible where one angel completely destroys that army of tens of thousands of men? Maybe movie producers/studios/directors should, I don't know, read the bible first. Maybe get some of that theology down before they start pulling stuff out of their behind.

How far in advance are the movies you plan to review?

BTW, Neon Genesis has nothing to do with Christianity. They used the names because they thought they sounded cool and non of the people involved were Christin and has third hand knowledge of Christianity at best.

One thing that really bugs me about angels in movies is that they tend to be constantly disguised as humans. And WHY would any angel EVER who faces off in combat EVER want to use human weapons or stay in human form? If I were an angel, the first thing I would do in a serious fight would be to grow forty feet tall and whip out a flaming sword.

At no point in the Bible has it ever been written, "And thus the angel, after encountering the vile forces of the devil, didst grab a sharp stick and began poking the demons furiously whilst remaining in human form."

zombi2989:
Well at least I know my suck-dar is still working fine. I also never realized "The Crow" had christian allegories. I just thought it was a really long music video for The Cure.

Perhaps it's more accurate to say that much rock and metal culture has Christian references.

How could you not laugh your ass off at Spider-Granny? That shit's hilarious.

Well, I am kind of Christian and I thought it looked lame. Though everyone else said Book of Eli was really cool

I knew it would suck

Firstly: yes, Eva is awesome, even though the Christian stuff was just a way to make things sounds cool (too bad the other five billion clones didn't quite get that)

Secondly: The D. Gray-man manga series has creepy, cherub-like creatures doing very nasty things to various people.

Thirdly: Bettany is also going to star in the doomed adaptation of the Korean comic Priest . Oh, and the comic has an undead priest slaughtering demons, zombies, and fallen angels across the American West with an arsenal of dynamite, tommy guns, and a silver-edged Bowie knife <3

Fourthly: Why are all the angels in fiction just the same old armored humans with wings? Has anyone actually READ what some of those things look like? I mean, crap, one set is wheels with eyes, no joke.

I feel for you on the Catholic school thing.
It officially redefined my version of Hell.

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