Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

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I lol'd at the "spam, spam, spam" and the Yahtzee pillow.

And yeah, Twilight is bs.

Aiwe:

k-ossuburb:
I've seen videos on [another site] that show that the "automatic" mode allows you to play one-handed, glean from that what you will.

You got a link for that? because I've played on very easy with the marionette on (I tend to start games on the easiest mode available and work my way up) and while it completes combos for you (usually not the combo you were trying for which is annoying after a while) the kicks and punches are still on one side of the controller and directional movement on the other, maybe I just have small hands or no co-ordination but I'm not convinced I could manage both with one hand.

Well I could give you a link, but Google turns up more than enough results.

http://www.videogamesblogger.com/2009/08/25/play-bayonetta-with-one-hand-in-very-easy-automatic-mode.htm

The above is the first one on the list, but there's many, many more.

Shamanic Rhythm:

Or maybe he just stood around long enough - about three seconds - in any area of civilisation and waited for a thirteen year to walk past with an Edward Cullen tshirt.

I've taken to closing my curtains against civilisation due to this. Even during the day.

TheUnbeholden:

Theres a movie you know :D

2 Actually.

Watching the films is even worse than reading the books. I was forced through the first by my sister, who is OBSESSED with the whole thing.

Especially Robert Pattinson. I mean... why? Seriously?

Anyway. I have Bayonetta, and quite enjoy its button-mashing, clusterfuck fun. It's a game where I don't have to think, at all, and it's a nice relief from life, haha. Even if Bayonetta herself sounds like a much smarmier Lara Croft.

Patch 1.01 is up on the PS3, adds an install feature. Cuts the load times by 70%. Very nice, but why wasn't it here already?

"Tan-fuckin'-fastic!"

I lol'd so hard.

The game licks..i mean looks nice, but I'm not an console owner so :(
"How about I review Borderlands when it agrees to stop crashing on me"...uhh... please? If only.....So far hasn't crashed on me, or showed any bugs.

I like how he says "GRAPES" at around 1:27

TheUnbeholden:
This I think was uncalled for.

SO I've been watching Yahtzee for a while now. I first started watching cause I was looking for some good british humor. I at the time was watching a sort of funny parody of shitty movies so I wouldn't have to watch them, crammed into a 10 minute review called 10 Minute Theater and it was hell funny. Then I found yahtzee and found he does parodies of shitty games so I don't have to play them. And it has all beeen fun times since then, cracking up laughing crazily and disturbing the other patrons of the internet cafe I'm going to. But Now it has momentarily struck a cord for me when yahtzee made the joke on the Twilight. As a big fan of vampires (like the Anne Rice novels) and as a fan of twilight, for the teenage romance which I've always been fascinated with love, the concept and the pleasure it can bring. I understand that most of the fans of twilight are teenage girls, but I'm a teenage guy, that also watches yahtzee and likes it. I understand how everyone goes over how the sparkling thing is pretty much made for fangirls to go all gooey over, but I literally let it slide and sort of pushed it aside as I was reading it. I didn't anything of it really, and to have twilight ridiculed in the comments even though yahtzee was just parodying twilight and not actually hating it I think some people missed that. So twilight haters I understand you cannot understand teenage romance or perhaps never experienced it yourselves hence why your so cold and bitter (or perhaps your just jumping on the bandwagon) but you don't have to spam yahtzee's comment section about it... keep it to youtube and other trolling grounds.

You found four diatribes out of three hundred comments. I like your definition of spam.

Seriously, this is why people such as myself have such a passionate loathing for Twilight; because Twilight fans can't accept any criticism of their favourite book, like it's a personal insult to them. People regularly get actually beaten up for expressing negative opinions of it. Dude, as Yahtzee himself said in the Mailbag Showdown review, [sic]if you personally enjoyed something then you shouldn't let those opinions get to you - unless there's a niggling doubt that you didn't really enjoy it as much as you did.

Anyway, my cold black heart is off to read D.H. Lawrence or some other romantic literature that is actually, you know, good.

Really funny review this time. Had me laughing more than your others lately. When you launched into the packman plot and got flustered was hilarious.

I tried the Bayonetta demo and felt like I was having an epileptic seizure. Plus QTE's are fucking evil and need to go away. So, not for me.

Ummmmmm.... Yahtzee, why did that Japanese love pillow have a picture of you on it??

I'm currently at CH.8 of this game. So far, I really liked it. Sure the combat does get rather repetitive after a while, but it makes up for it with it's awesome boss fights.

:( why do people find this game so hard? at the start you gotta be playing on Normal easy or Very Easy. So it can't be that bad. you have infinite continues and who cares if it gives you the stone award you beat it isn't that enough? Everyone who is thinking about getting this game DO! you don't come to Yahtzee to hear him rant about how Good a game is! Personally I think the game pulls of the sexiness very well it never resorts to absolute nudity which is something i respect.

Yeah it sucks for PS3 owners that Bayonetta is horrendous on their console. This is because it was originally going to be a 360 exclusive and Sega convinced TLA to produce it on the PS3 as well.

PhiMed:

MercurySteam:

PhiMed:
I have to say I agree with this wholeheartedly. I was as confused as Yahtzee is as to what the hell I was watching. But I'll be honest. I was pretty damn entertained.

Then I was mad because I got the "stone medal". Screw you, game! I beat you! Isn't that sufficient?

If you want better than a stone trophy you'll need to go back and play the levels again without dying so much or using many items. Sounds easy right? Don't worry, the more you play the better you get.

Right?

Um... okay. I was making a joke in agreement with one that Yahtzee made. Did you assume I had a developmental disorder, are you being facetious, or are you trolling? I'm aware that better performance will improve the trophy I get. I doubt, however, that I'll go back to play the game more than a second time. It's fun, but it's not fun or interesting enough for me to obsess over perfecting. After all, I have a job, a life, and a wife.

Uh no, alot of people are sick of getting stone trophies despite the fact they have a low completion time and high combo score, so I like to offer some helpful tips. If this is how you respond to all friendly advice then I wouldn't count on you keeping your job, life, and wife.

I'm just sayin, keeping it real. The internet was introduced to the public to make life easier so I try to help people when I can (especially if I don't know them). But I know when people don't my help. Sorry if it really got to you.

The 1.01 update (for PS3 users) seriously makes this game alot more playable, if not, acceptable. Much more so than it was without. Doesn't do much for the washed-out darker feel of the game, but the loading time issue is pretty much a non-issue now. Glad SEGA took the hint. Washed out colors I can forgive, but the loading times we're getting irritating given how frequent they were. But like I said, the 1.01 update pretty much fixes the issue.

What I don't get are the constant references everywhere else about "impossibly long legs".
Ok, "long" I get, but "impossibly long" ?
http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/5040/bayonettacomp.jpg
Granted, not exactly the same but pretty close (especially after you consider the real person doesn't wear high heels).

Yahtzee, you've done it again. Absolutely wonderful!

Although seriously, if you need help with the plot, wiki it. It helps, trust me.

daaaaw, poor little bayonetta during the credits!

Hilarious and I agree with the points he raises.

good review as always. and you got your console from harvey norman!!!!! woot woot, im the gaming manager @ one of thier stores, makes you that little bit more awsome

Once again, Yahtzee puts me to stitches.

I think though, he only nailed the unfairness of the game on the QTE's and the atrocious loading times for the PS3 version (yet he kept showing an XBox 360 cover for some reason).

I am dissapointed though, I was expecting him to speak about the refferences to Space Harrier and the Motorbike level. The videos have to be short, of course not all can fit in it, but I would like to see what he thinks of them in an article of "Extra Punctuation".

Waiting for the review of "Dante's Inferno".

I find it slightly unnerving how the Yahtzee representation of the... Bayonetta? is that her name? I don't know, but I can't stop thinking "gee that cartoon looks like Sarah Palin, I want to punch it..."

TheUnbeholden:

This I think was uncalled for.

SO I've been watching Yahtzee for a while now. I first started watching cause I was looking for some good british humor. I at the time was watching a sort of funny parody of shitty movies so I wouldn't have to watch them, crammed into a 10 minute review called 10 Minute Theater and it was hell funny. Then I found yahtzee and found he does parodies of shitty games so I don't have to play them. And it has all beeen fun times since then, cracking up laughing crazily and disturbing the other patrons of the internet cafe I'm going to. But Now it has momentarily struck a cord for me when yahtzee made the joke on the Twilight. As a big fan of vampires (like the Anne Rice novels) and as a fan of twilight, for the teenage romance which I've always been fascinated with love, the concept and the pleasure it can bring. I understand that most of the fans of twilight are teenage girls, but I'm a teenage guy, that also watches yahtzee and likes it. I understand how everyone goes over how the sparkling thing is pretty much made for fangirls to go all gooey over, but I literally let it slide and sort of pushed it aside as I was reading it.

Allow me to recommend some insightful commentary on the Twilight series, present on this very site:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-escapist-show/481-Episode-Nine-Dead-Rising-Chop-Till-You-Drop (Twilight review starts at 6:25 )
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/6797-Twilight-of-the-She-Geeks
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/escape-to-the-movies/1107-New-Moon

Note that these are not hatemongering rants, but rather the insights of an eloquent reviewer who is well-acquainted with the source material (the extended commentary on the books can be found at http://moviebob.blogspot.com/search?q=twilight ).

TheUnbeholden:

I didn't anything of it really, and to have twilight ridiculed in the comments even though yahtzee was just parodying twilight and not actually hating it I think some people missed that. So twilight haters I understand you cannot understand teenage romance or perhaps never experienced it yourselves hence why your so cold and bitter (or perhaps your just jumping on the bandwagon) but you don't have to spam yahtzee's comment section about it... keep it to youtube and other trolling grounds.

I'm sorry to say that you might be disappointed on Yahtzee's account, from what I've read on his site the man is much less forgiving of teenage romance than the above mentioned Moviebob. And though you can always ask Yahtzee personally on twitter, judging from his history with fan-mail I wouldn't expect a reply.

Loved the comparison to Pac-Man.

MercurySteam:

PhiMed:

MercurySteam:

PhiMed:
I have to say I agree with this wholeheartedly. I was as confused as Yahtzee is as to what the hell I was watching. But I'll be honest. I was pretty damn entertained.

Then I was mad because I got the "stone medal". Screw you, game! I beat you! Isn't that sufficient?

If you want better than a stone trophy you'll need to go back and play the levels again without dying so much or using many items. Sounds easy right? Don't worry, the more you play the better you get.

Right?

Um... okay. I was making a joke in agreement with one that Yahtzee made. Did you assume I had a developmental disorder, are you being facetious, or are you trolling? I'm aware that better performance will improve the trophy I get. I doubt, however, that I'll go back to play the game more than a second time. It's fun, but it's not fun or interesting enough for me to obsess over perfecting. After all, I have a job, a life, and a wife.

Uh no, alot of people are sick of getting stone trophies despite the fact they have a low completion time and high combo score, so I like to offer some helpful tips. If this is how you respond to all friendly advice then I wouldn't count on you keeping your job, life, and wife.

I'm just sayin, keeping it real. The internet was introduced to the public to make life easier so I try to help people when I can (especially if I don't know them). But I know when people don't my help. Sorry if it really got to you.

Essentially saying, "try again and this time try not to suck so much" is not friendly advice, it's patronization. The game already told me that, but thanks for your concern.

If you'd responded this way to me in real life, I probably would've just given you a quizzical look or said, "Thanks for crapping on my joke." That exchange would not lose me my job. It would make everyone who witnessed it think you were a little weird.

You know, anywhere else on the internet this little drama-filled slapfight wouldn't have lasted longer than a single comment. What is it about the Escapist that makes everyone so uptight?

I would kill for subtitles

this review and the review of Darksiders are the funniest reviews in a while

Mm, Yahtzee has Twitter now...

ah i liked the monty python reference you slipped in there.

The Pacman part made me laugh for way too long.

Excellent Review Nazi... I mean Yahtzee...
I have to agree with some previous reply's about the 360 version being better, but I know that you will review anything that people say anyway... just like you did for the Force Unleashed one. Any chance that you will stop with your many snarky comments about the god of war clones and perhaps review Mass Effect 2 sometime soon? Yes I know the game has only been out in Australia for two days, but I want to see if your snarky comments can decide which of the two games is the breast.. I mean Best.

Wow my jokes suck.

PhiMed:

MercurySteam:

PhiMed:

MercurySteam:

PhiMed:
I have to say I agree with this wholeheartedly. I was as confused as Yahtzee is as to what the hell I was watching. But I'll be honest. I was pretty damn entertained.

Then I was mad because I got the "stone medal". Screw you, game! I beat you! Isn't that sufficient?

If you want better than a stone trophy you'll need to go back and play the levels again without dying so much or using many items. Sounds easy right? Don't worry, the more you play the better you get.

Right?

Um... okay. I was making a joke in agreement with one that Yahtzee made. Did you assume I had a developmental disorder, are you being facetious, or are you trolling? I'm aware that better performance will improve the trophy I get. I doubt, however, that I'll go back to play the game more than a second time. It's fun, but it's not fun or interesting enough for me to obsess over perfecting. After all, I have a job, a life, and a wife.

Uh no, alot of people are sick of getting stone trophies despite the fact they have a low completion time and high combo score, so I like to offer some helpful tips. If this is how you respond to all friendly advice then I wouldn't count on you keeping your job, life, and wife.

I'm just sayin, keeping it real. The internet was introduced to the public to make life easier so I try to help people when I can (especially if I don't know them). But I know when people don't my help. Sorry if it really got to you.

Essentially saying, "try again and this time try not to suck so much" is not friendly advice, it's patronization. The game already told me that, but thanks for your concern.

If you'd responded this way to me in real life, I probably would've just given you a quizzical look or said, "Thanks for crapping on my joke." That exchange would not lose me my job. It would make everyone who witnessed it think you were a little weird.

Well unfortunately that's the only way to get a better trophy. But everyone does better a second time round so it's kinda common sense. And if we weren't having this conversation over the internet then I would still say exactly the same thing. Also, considering no one else has said anything about my response I don't think anyone finds me "a little weird". Unless this was a thread with fanboys in it. Then people get scared of me.

OK, Mr Y, I'll bite: What version of Borderlands are you using? I played thru a few times on my M$ box, don't recall a freeze.

Loved this review BTW - I never planned to buy (or rent) it. I'm not one for button mashing.

Hey look, the Blog's back! anyway good review.

Meh Its just another game that probably will suffer Nintendo repitition syndrome. Betting on Bayonetta 2 anyone?

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