Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

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Excellent review, as usual. I did enjoy this game (got it on release day) :D

YukoValis:
Wait you complain about the things in the last game, and now this game has things different you complain about it too? *sigh* I liked this game, just not on the PS3.

You must be new to Zero Punctuation.

Hilarious as always! As for the game...pretty meh in my opinion. There are other games that i would much rather spend my money on at the moment. But i might pick it up later.

Now I could be with this since this the 110th video/game he has reviewed but I thing this game has the most sex jokes than any other game so far. That was beautiful and very funny.

Can't wait for uh...what comes out first, Dante's Inferno or God of War 3?
...
...
Well, who cares. Both of those games are going to be good.

thewerebuffalo:
Good review. agree that the QTE were extremely poorly placed. but Also since you apparently have all 3 systems. it's your own fault for getting the PS3 version. since the game comes out later in australia you would have had at least a week to find out that the xbox version has no load times and better graphics

The game came out in Australia on January 7th.

Great Review and for reason I think a Japanese Love pillow of him is real!

Funny review :)

I really was expecting yahtzee to actually like this one though, it got fantastic reviews (Edge gave it 10/10, and they are almost as fussy as he is)

This is odd, I actually find myself agreeing with Yahtzee.

I think I am one of only a handful that actually didn't like this game.

so....the game is the game good?

I don't mind sexual innuendo's and all, and yahtzee said the game actually has ass loads worth the combos. but I kinda lost the message at the end of the video.

i was kind of hoping he would rip on it a lot more than what he did but anyway...

I love this game so much (yes, even if I'm stuck with the ps3 version)
Though I did agree with about 99% of what Yahtzee said, the QTE's really screwed up my chapter scores because I died a lot from them XD;
Though the one thing I do think isn't that bad are the cutscenes, some are a bit pointless sure but there's much more over the top action for you to experience yourself as well. It's not just an average violent game, it's crazy and creative, and I love all the creativity they put into it!

Long load times, you say? Oh wait, PS3 version with all that silly download stuff. Glad I got the Xbox version! :)

But yeah, the overlong cutscenes can be rather a pain in the arse. Is no games safe from the hazards of Metal Gear syndrome? I like to think I'm a patient person but even I was getting fed up around the end when the final boss sage dude -who I shall call Seth as his real name escapes me- wouldn't shut up about destiny and pime taradoxes and other shit nobody cares about.

Oh and the daughter/self-as-child thing is probably the easiest of the game's mysteries to figure out. Well, if you can be bothered to put the pieces together... if you even noticed the pieces in the first place...

Finaly, some one had to say it !

I got annoyed by every high review this nerdy fetish fest recieved.

Great video, I think this is the funniest he's been in a while now.

I really like Bayonetta, but I agree that the PS3 loading screens are a sick joke of some kind (also another reason to hate Sega, since they made the port). The QTEs never bothered me, and at least there are checkpoints right before all of them.

Great job, you've got this game down to a tee my boy. Especially the difficulty, god damn its quite a hard game, made DMC feel like a sunday stroll sometimes

Remember: Sex sells.

I mean who wants to be able to like a game for gameplay and interesting characters?

(And yes, that second sentence is sarcasm.)

I laughed hard at the Pac-Man plot joke. "Eat pills, avoid ghosts. Only sometimes you can eat ghosts if youAAAGH"

I still hate this fucking game.

The dialoge alone was enough to make me ride my bike through a snow storm in order to return it.
Plus, 70% of the time when an enemy appears you get a cutscene, and you get attack the micro-second it ends. If I had a nickel for every cheap shot this game gave me, I'd...................well, I'd atleast have 5 bucks.

Kanashe:
I knew that Australia sucked when it came to talent, comedy or even good entertaiment

Yahtzee is British, Philistine.

hayashi38:
Seems like... you liked it? I really can't tell, but whatever. Hilarious nonetheless.

I was wondering though, you say that you hate it when Kamiya puts his action sequences in cutscenes, but how about when God of War does the "pseudo QTE" where you watch Kratos kill the enemy, but never actually do it? It's like a fighting game's grab combos in my opinion; press Block+Punch to "throw" someone and not really interact until the whole complex throw animation is over.

And while it seems like you played the PS3 version with long loading times, it's been a general consensus that the 360 version was the lead platform, whereas Bayonetta on PS3 runs at almost half the framerate.

never played god of war so im assuming here
but doesn't god of war do it right... i.e. make QTEs an expected part of gameplay?
i think the point in both this review (and the regular escapist review) is that the events come out of no where

hilarious review but since i dont play devil may cry im not really caring about this one either

i am oddly compelled to get it now...

Wasn't there a time slow mechanic? If so, why didn't Yahtzee say anything about it?
Overall a good review. Many of the recent reviews have been good. It's nice to see some things retaining their quality.

Warteen:

Kanashe:
I knew that Australia sucked when it came to talent, comedy or even good entertaiment

Yahtzee is British, Philistine.

Meh, British, Australian. They all suck when it comes to comedy and can go to hell for all I care.

That last bit made me burst out laughing. Kudos good sir.

hayashi38:
Seems like... you liked it? I really can't tell, but whatever. Hilarious nonetheless.

I was wondering though, you say that you hate it when Kamiya puts his action sequences in cutscenes, but how about when God of War does the "pseudo QTE" where you watch Kratos kill the enemy, but never actually do it? It's like a fighting game's grab combos in my opinion; press Block+Punch to "throw" someone and not really interact until the whole complex throw animation is over.

And while it seems like you played the PS3 version with long loading times, it's been a general consensus that the 360 version was the lead platform, whereas Bayonetta on PS3 runs at almost half the framerate.

Just clearing it up for you, but God of War never had QTEs. QTEs, IMO, are "Press button or die." What God of War had is "You CAN press these buttons to defeat monsters easier or kill the boss." The thing is, QTEs in games SURPRISES you and you die because of being not alert, and God of War's Simon Says are done to make things easier or to progress, and those are optional and you CHOOSE if you want to do it and not be surprised out of your arse.

Looks like he reviewed the PS3 version as the 360 one has hardly any loads at all.

Apart from that its pretty much nail on the head, shame things like the weapons/combat details were ignored in favour of takin the mick out of a game that does not take itself seriously for the crime of..... Not taking itself seriously.......

Oh and then there is quick time events....... Sure they are a pain in the backside but the gripe about "I want todo what the cutscene did" used DMC4 is null and void with Bayonetta as you CAN do what the cutscene did (the outlandish style of the cutscenes is representative of what the character is able to preform unlike in DMC4).

What do you want a game about killing angels todo in a cutscene with an angel that you are going to kill or have killed? Secondly how impressive would a cutscene be if all it displayed was moves you could do yourself exactly as you could do them? There would be no point to having the cutscene at all in that case, unless it contained no action at all. I suppose your idea of a cinematic is for the characters to take a break for a cuppa tea and a piss between fights?

You cannot criticise an action game for having cinematic's that revolve around action, that's like complaining that a can of Pepsi contains Pepsi.

If the games story is confusing, then this review really isn't all that much better in this respect. Yahtzee says a lot of different things both negative and positive (mostly negative). But he never actually deals with the question of whether the game is actually good or not.

He also didn't get the facts quite right. Sega didn't actually make the game. They just ported it over to the PS3 and did a spectacularly bad job of it. It's a shame because the PS3 is perfectly capable of matching and/or surpassing the 360 version but Sega royally screwed up the job.

Don't get me wrong. Sega is by no means an enemy of the PS3. Games like Valkyria Chronicles and Yakuza 3 are proof enough of that. But I guess the Bayonetta fiasco also proves that as far as PS3 development is concerned Sega still has much to learn.

I guess Yahtzee made the same mistake here as he did when he reviewed The Force Unleashed. He didn't research the differences between the versions.

Anyway, I think that Mass Effect 2 is the most likely choice for next week.

From the looks of the release dates both Dante's Inferno and White Knight Chronicles seem unlikely. And he's probably not going to go anywhere near MAG for obvious reasons.

What a surprise, Yahtzee hates this game. Well, I think I'll go buy it just because he doesn't want me to. Then I'll use the game to smash a copy of Psychonauts. Actually, I would have bought the game already, but no one is paying me handsomely to sit around in a dressing gown while I whine and/or bitch into a headset mic.

Seriously though, Bayonetta doesn't seem to be anything more than what it advertises itself as. An erotically charged, beat 'em up. So I can't really see how Yahtzee can decry that and still expect to be taken seriously.

Oh wait, AAAAAAAAAAAYYY!

image

Ok, the Bayonetta review made me laugh. Thank you for brightening up the afternoon.

Regarding the "ridiculously oversexualized" thingy, here's the trailer for the game, in which baynetta.... Kills a doppelganger through pulling a centaur thrugh her vagina or sumthin, i dunno what it's supposed to be really that japanese imagination is just too sick for me.

http://www.gametrailers.com/user-movie/bayonetta-not-so-subtle-gameplay/333902

Good luck on getting borderlands working, it would be interesting to see especially with yahtzees tendency to hate rpgs (or was that just jrpgs?).

Oh, and by the way, no Borderlands please, it would take less than a minute to mention any of it features, pros and cons.

Well I'll be, that didn't sound nearly as bad as I expected.
It was funny however.

Kanashe:

Warteen:

Kanashe:
I knew that Australia sucked when it came to talent, comedy or even good entertaiment

Yahtzee is British, Philistine.

Meh, British, Australian. They all suck when it comes to comedy and can go to hell for all I care.

Hugh Laurie. Monty Python. Your argument is invalid.

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