Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

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neoman10:

lacktheknack:
...No banhammers at the start?

THEY LEARN!

Oh, and I liked this. Nice word swapping.

I KNOW!

but, yeah, since when are games erotic at all?

Since Tomb Raider?

And if you don't count that, then since Bayonetta, obviously.

Mikkaddo:

Bayonetta for isntance is an improvement on Devil May Cry, but still manages to mess things up like with the absurdly short QTE activation times (I've died more then a few times from those alone)

The problem really with the QTEs is that most of them kill you if you fail.

If they merely resulted in damage and loss of their associated bonus (which some of them do), then the penalty for failing them would be less onerous, but there would still be an incentive to succeee.

Great Review, I loved the part at the Pac-Man Story telling.

Well, I would have still got it, even when you said it was bad.

Mikkaddo:

A1:

HK_01:
So Yatzhee actually enjoyed this game? Or did I misinterpret what he said?

That's the problem. He doesn't address the issue of whether the game is actually good or not. So we really don't have a Zero Punctuation verdict on Bayonetta yet. Hopefully he'll clear this up with a subsequent Extra Punctuation article.

He's said himself before though that he's not trying to influence our buying decisions (except in the few cases where he outright says such a thing in plain black and white . . . and yellow) all he's really doing is pointing out the flaws of a continually flawed system that seems to REFUSE to ever improve, the few occasions when it does, it improves only to end up messing up a whole set of other things.

Bayonetta for isntance is an improvement on Devil May Cry, but still manages to mess things up like with the absurdly short QTE activation times (I've died more then a few times from those alone)

Interesting but also beside the point. Yahtzee has indeed rendered verdicts before or at least addressed the issue of whether or not a game is good. A few examples are Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, inFAMOUS, Left 4 Dead, Bionic Commando, Dragon Age: Origins, Halo 3, and Sonic Unleashed. And even if he did say that he's not trying to influence our buying decisions that hasn't stopped him from dishing out recommendations every now and again like Batman: Arkham Asylum, Prince of Persia, and Crysis. As I've said before consistency doesn't really seem to be one of his strong points. Nevertheless his position on Bayonetta does indeed seem to be in serious need of some clarification.

Pacman...AAARGH

I always wondered what the little dots were

I think they were the heads of Nazi Party members, which makes the game THAT much more awesome

I actually got a chance to witness some of this gameplay.

Yahtzee really hit it on the nail. once again Sega screws up a possible good game with their boring mechanics.

I cracked up at least 5 times during this review, I'm really glad that Yahtzee still keeps his humour intact.

MasterTroll:
It is a wonder how many people missed the "If you can ignore all my purposefuly negavtive emphasis on everything I can nitpick it is worth getting" part and say they are not getting it now because he didn't like it.

The very fact that his review is apparently open to such radically different interpretations would seem to be at least somewhat of a problem in and of itself. His review doesn't really have any clear cut bottom line or verdict. Only what is apparently a series of varied and seemingly contradictory implications.

The loading times are only long as hell on the PS3.

Oi! Yahtzee! Mind how you slag on NiGHTS. That was one of my favorite games.

Granted, both the remake and the Saturn original seemed to be inspired by Disneyland's "It's A Small World" ride, with enough syrupy cloying mawkishness to turn anyone diabetic. The recent remake -- or should I say Wii-make -- "NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams" impossibly managed to amp this up even further with cut-scenes and vocal work that made me want to impale small kittens with rusty halberds. They would have been better off leaving all the characters as mutes.

But even given that, I still muchly enjoyed both games, and their respective soundtracks are permanent fixtures on my MP3 player. so... Just watch it.

Wow, I thought I really didn't want to play Bayonetta, and bhow after all this the feeling is just about the same bloody thing x.x. Thank you Yahtzee, for reminding me how much I *didn't* want to play the damn game.

THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST GAMES I HAVE EVER PLAYED

Jesus Christ, is he still complaining about there being over-the-top-action cutscenes in over-the-top-action games? Look Yahtzee, in Devil may Cry and Bayonetta, there's more than enough space to do ridiculous, insane combos with imaginary bullshit weapons against crazy, bizarre enemies. But every now and then, the director will decide he needs to do something so action packed that if anyone even attempted to put a control scheme to it, it would either suck balls and end up as a bland quicktime event OR an easy as piss minigame with so much detailed and choreographed stuff in the background that would either distract you and fuck up your run or go unnoticed because you're focusing on the minigame it's self.

Not only that, but the gameplay in DMC3-4 and Bayonetta are detailed and varied enough that you can pull off battles and combos not far off from that scale anyway. But seeing how you were saying that you were getting the dunce grade at the end of every level, you've obviously not managed to pull that off (that's not a butthurt fanboy attack). Seriously, look at some of the "tournament runs" for Devil May Cry on Youtube. Those guys can pull it off no problem. Yahtzee, it's OK if you simply don't like the gameplay, but dear god, you've just stopped a huge amount of people from buying a game where they could easily succeed where you failed.

SICK0_ZER0:
Sarah Palin is my favourite video game character.

Good god. ... It is her.

I love this game, and at least he thought it was decent. Better that I expected considering how he hates nearly every Japanese game.

The most accurate review of Bayonetta I've heard. Discounting all the niggly little flaws, Bayonetta is a pretty outstanding game. Wildly original, exhilerating and entertaining action at its absolute finest. I would say though that the game has less prolonged fighting cutscenes than a Devil May Cry game, so much so that I was surprised by how much it let you play cutscene fights, even the flashbacks.
Yes, I hated the scoring system and the QTE, but I still loved the game.

as usual Yahtzee is indeed hilarious; I lost my interest around the demo as I was suddenly crushed by the ten ton cinderblock saying "this game hasn't an original idea or aesthetic in its body".

I have a confession, I'm a total Bayonetta fangirl, I'm not especially good at it, although I've improved massively in the 60 hours plus I've played it, but I love it to bits. It's just really refreshing to have a sexy female character who actually knows that she's sexy, also I have a massive crush on Luka, and I have a very girly addiction to the romantic subplot... there are some cut scenes I can just watch over and over and over... okay, okay this turned out way more gushy than I intended... anyway what was I going to say... oh yes, entertaining review, thank you Yahtzee

Haha great review as always^^
though u gave away a big spoiler inn that review.
Witch is bad for people that have not played it yet:(
Got to say i loved the game, long legs and all^^
AAAAH hahaXD

awesome video. I'm not gonna pick this up though, never was.

Where did you get my pillow? My bed perhaps

I sort of expected him to touch briefly on the super-easy mode which allows you to play one-handed, given the game's ridiculous tendency to cater to fetish fuel, but then I looked into it and turns out it's a mechanic that's been present for the Devil May Cry titles, as well. I can't imagine why, unless the developers really expect us to be so utterly bedazzled by the combos that we can't articulate both our hands at once, but I guess it's at least included for more innocent reasons than I'd originally thought. Go figure.

Hillarious Review!

Still don't know if Darksiders or Bayonetta are any good though.

Honestly, all you need to do to know if you'll like Bayonetta is fill out this little quiz:

Did you play Devil May Cry?
Did you enjoy Devil May Cry?

If yes, then you will like this game. It takes the combat and really makes it a lot more smooth (if you're on 360 that is...damn PS3 developers) and fluid while at the same time giving you a shitload of combos. Play through it on Normal to get a gist of how to play the game, then play it on Hard for one hell of a challenge. You'll likely get low scores at first but as you play through the game you'll get the hang of how you're supposed to play.

EDIT: That being said, the game would be almost perfect if not for those god awful Quick Time events, ugh. Most of them aren't too bad, but there are a few that just come out of nowhere and expect you to push the corresponding button in less than a second.

I will have to admit, thishas probably been teh best one in awhile. I have been watching them weekly, and most of them I have sort of just been like "Ah, that was interesting" for the longest time. This one I actually did laugh at many times.
Not sure whether I should try this game or not...

Funny review. I did live DMC4 so I'll probably get this one.

Last line and the pacman bit were pretty good

360 load times are almost non existent.

BlackFrost55:
Honestly, all you need to do to know if you'll like Bayonetta is fill out this little quiz:

Did you play Devil May Cry?
Did you enjoy Devil May Cry?

If yes, then you will LOVE this game. It takes the combat and really makes it a lot more smooth (if you're on 360 that is...damn PS3 developers) and fluid while at the same time giving you a shitload of combos. Play through it on Normal to get a gist of how to play the game, then play it on Hard for one hell of a challenge. You'll likely get low scores at first but as you play through the game you'll get the hang of how you're supposed to play.

Fixed.

Never thought this review would be this funny.
Also, nice burn on Borderlands.

...'K, I'll rent it.

Bayonetta has to have set the record of most porn made from it before it's actually released.

How about a review of No More Heroes 2 when it gets to Australia?

Was HIS picture on the Japanese loving pillow? Huh. Made me chuckle loudly.

Wow no one was banned for commenting before they could have watched the video.....weird.

OT: Funny review. I asked my friend who played it, who also happens to be gay, what he thought about it and his and Yahtzees reviews pretty much work together. Its for Horny guys who want a devil may cry experience and don't have a girl friend or someone for fun....But i got Devil May cry 4 and fun....so FUN FUN! lol. Nice one though. I liked the sexual Jokes.

Pacman storytelling. Great.

Great review.

funny as usual.

On a serious note however, i do implore anyone who enjoys DMC/NG/GoW style games to pick it up, or at least give the demo a run. To be honest, i'm putting it right up there with DMC (specifically 3, but without the "F you" balancing the game has) as best spectacle fighting game (to borrow the term), which surprised me because i expected it to be a little lower in terms of quality.

As for the confusing story...this mistifies me as to why everyone says that because i understood practically everything on the first play through.

I'd also like to add that with the 360 versions, load times were surprisingly quick, sometimes i couldn't even get a basic 3 button combo off before it was done.

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