Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

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The usual excellence without the recent bitchiness that has crept in at times, of late.

Thank you!

So does this mean that since he mentioned the three "like god of war, BUT"s in the darksiders review, that he'll review Dante's Inferno next?

Also, guess who's getting MAG tommorrow? :DDD

you should have picked up the 360 version as it was the overly more stable version. less things like loading and screen tearing during actual gameplay and faster loading times

The review was accurate in alot of what he said and i did lol an awful lot, however i found it to be alot simpler to grasp the combat and story than the review shows, all in all, probably not worth buying because like devil may cry the replay-ability gets dull, however i did find myself wrapping in in 2 days because i couldn't walk away, the over exaggerated combat and ones you understand the story, it can be very amusing, i'd recommend renting it atleast once. :)

Nice visual gag with the pillow there, Yahtzee... had to include yourself in there somehow, huh?
And I've been meaning to pick up Bayonetta, but there's too many good things out. You gonna extend your "Like God of War But" theme month by including a No More Heroes 2 review?

yah like i said in the review supplement its like devil may cry except with it's exactly like devil may cry


I liked the game, QTEs nonwhithstanding, but I have the X360 version so I'm not stuck with all the crapy loading issues. One weapon I would have liked to see in it is a whip, it seems as if this particular weapon would fit the theme of the game perfectly, but I haven't finished the game yet... so double fingers crossed :)

There is indeed a whip, it's pink (go hunting for those LPs).

Pink huh? I have a partial LP in my collection, its probably it, already got the claws and shotguns.

Yahtzee makes this game sound like it's a sex simulator...



This was a pretty funny review, I mean I like all Yahtzee's reviews but this was the first one in a while I'd laughed out loud at. Especially at the vampires being likened to 'solar powered disco balls.' I hate Twilight.

Absolutely brilliant. Accurate to a tee.

I liked the game, QTEs nonwhithstanding, but I have the X360 version so I'm not stuck with all the crapy loading issues. One weapon I would have liked to see in it is a whip, it seems as if this particular weapon would fit the theme of the game perfectly, but I haven't finished the game yet... so double fingers crossed :)

I did notice Yahtzee's comments lacked the usual levels of vitriol, maybe he liked parts of the game too?

I bet the pillow was put in there as a not so subtle reference to Kathleen swooning over him in the previous ENN.

A whip you say? i have good news for you friend, look up a weapon named Kulshedara (unless i screwed up the spelling).

Holy shit.
Funniest one in a while...
Like, Bioshock review funny.


Do ME2 next week. I'm curious to see what you think of the changes the developers made.


Wait you complain about the things in the last game, and now this game has things different you complain about it too? *sigh* I liked this game, just not on the PS3.

You must be new to Zero Punctuation.

Actually if you look at my profile I'm not. It's not his usual to complain about something bad, and then about a lack of something bad, like it was a bad thing. get it?

Ha nice bit at the end there about borderlands. i was gonna suggest that, but i know how you respond to suggestions


Good review. agree that the QTE were extremely poorly placed. but Also since you apparently have all 3 systems. it's your own fault for getting the PS3 version. since the game comes out later in australia you would have had at least a week to find out that the xbox version has no load times and better graphics

The game came out in Australia on January 7th.

review release date 12/22/09

all mention PS3's shortcomings

LOL The giraffe with stripper lessons LOL damn I started dying straight away.

HaHAhAhAHAHAHAH.... Weegee!!!! we are all doomed!! lolz


It's Devil May Cry, with new and apparently interesting combos, an entertaining if bizzare story, all the fanservice is oriented to guys instead of chicks, and I don't have to feel so bad about that last bit because it's coming from a director who's proven willing to provide the ladies a little something too? (Seriously, if you can ignore his attitude or are just fond of jerks, fanservice might as well be Dante's last name.)

On the other hand, loading sucks, and I don't have a 360, nor am I going to buy one, probably not ever. So no quicker 360 version for me.

I'll add it to my pile of games to buy when the price goes down, I guess. Breast Best review in awhile.

...I feel bad for making that joke. Honestly.

Didnt they announce a patch to install the game to the harddrive?

it was funny thats all a care about

Looking at some of the concept work for the titular character, it gives the impression she was designed by a fashion major with a slight goth fetish. Though she still seems rather modest compared to some of the designs I've seen come out of my school.

He must have a number of those stamps.

This one was one of your best so far. Nice job Yahtzee.

I've spent around 40 hours total with Bayonetta, and really, I kinda find that the whole "cutscenes hog all the action" argument is a bit invalid this time around. Yes they're over-the-top and there's points where you wish you could do some of the crazier moves, but unlike DMC4, Bayonetta feels like you're controlling those moments.

And yes, the QTE's are pretty annoying, though if you count the boss fight Climax attacks as QTEs, then they appear a bit more often than Yahtzee claims. And yes, the story is pretty crap (but do you expect a spectacle fighter to have depth?), and the music gets pretty annoying save for one or two tracks, but that's what the skip cutscene option is for, and loading up your own custom soundtrack to drown out the in-game music.

Not a particularly bad review, not laugh-out-loud funny, but true in some respects. I was expecting a more critical review, but then again I watch this only for the lulz, and let my experience with the game shape my thoughts.


Again a good review but it comes across to me like he was stretching for things to pick on.

Loading times? Must be the PS3 version...

Well, he did blame the PS3, didn't he?

Yeah he did, which is good. But omitted that it's no where near as terrible on the Xbox.

Still I thought it was a good game. Raff out Roud hilarity, although QTE's did give me the shits. Still I think my point of stretching things to pick on is valid. But then we all know what whiney biaches "the internet" is if he doesn't say nasty things all the time.

I'm surprised he didn't mention that Bayonetta looks oddly like Baronness from GI Joe, then again that might be more an American thing to notice.

the review was pretty funny, though I still bought Bayonetta on the X360 and it's friggin awesome, don't regret buying it at all because I played the hell out of it, though I do agree the story is bad and the main character is shamelessly sex up, but the game in general is all about being over the top

too bad if Yatzee didn't enjoy it, though maybe that's just his shtick at work, I have heard that the PS3 version can be a real pain though

Hmm, I was guessing Yahtzee would end up hating Bayonetta's character for the same reason he hates Lara Croft and Rubi from Wet.

Consider Bayonetta is a bit self absorbed and coincided as a character, although probably a lot more loose than the other two which I guess makes up for it...0o

Bayonetta is a very solid game with crappy port to PS3 and terrible marketing campaign that made everyone think it was a softcore porn game.
Yes, if you like DMC or GOW you should get it, it is a great game and has the best combat ever in the genre. Or at least until GOW3 beats it! And the QTE's aren't that terrible, there are too few of them so you won't expect them when they show, but if you fail them you wont have to replay more than 10 seconds so it isn't very punishing.

Really funny review, but as it stands the game itself is the best in it's genre gameplay wise. To bad you have to sit through many nonsensical cutscenes with QTE (there isnt really that many QTE) to get to that good gameplay.

GOW 3 isn't going to beat this game gameplay wise. This is Hideo's specialty, he basically invented the genre. Hell I would say that even though the rest of the entries have been pretty shit, (no involved ment by Hideo) GOW has not even topped DMC1 combat wise.

Also yahtzee, you should have played this on 360.

Bayonetta is going to be the best in this genre this year. Darksiders was just a Zelda rip off with really poor combat, dante's inferno is GOW in the dark ages, and GOW itself isn't going to have the depth in combat gameplay it takes to topple this game.

I actually think this game is worth playing just because it is so crazy. The first time a friend told me about it his story ended with, "then my hair turned into a demon and ate the jesus statue I was fighting." That statement alone made me want to play it.

I thought Bayonetta was incredibly fun and very challenging when you get to play it, the story is ridiculous though

YAY WIDESCREEN! LESS BLACK BARS! I still have black bars on the side though I suspect that might just be me...

Awesome review!

Loved the Pac-Man bit :P

Same here... i had to rewind a bit cause I didn't hear the next part over my own laughing.

Probably be getting this next week on Gamefly. They are sending me Demon Soul's right now!

Spider Expert:
I want that pillow

should be the next merch!

Why was the Chupa Chupa Russian?

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