Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

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Sheo_Dagana:
This was a pretty funny review, I mean I like all Yahtzee's reviews but this was the first one in a while I'd laughed out loud at. Especially at the vampires being likened to 'solar powered disco balls.' I hate Twilight.

I wish the forums had the ability to LIKE, or Give Green/Bonus/Points to people for good quotes or things that make you laugh.. so I could Green you for your twilight comment.

I'm sure happy I only rented this game. All the other reviews said it was good but like yahtzee said it was adequate at breast

Oh shit, Yahtzee ripped on Twilight.

Hope he's ready for ten million billion death threats from Twitards. (Seriously)

thewerebuffalo:

A1:

thewerebuffalo:
Good review. agree that the QTE were extremely poorly placed. but Also since you apparently have all 3 systems. it's your own fault for getting the PS3 version. since the game comes out later in australia you would have had at least a week to find out that the xbox version has no load times and better graphics

The game came out in Australia on January 7th.

http://ps3.ign.com/articles/105/1057012p1.html

http://www.1up.com/do/reviewPage?cId=3177423&p=37

http://play.tm/review/28075/bayonetta/2/

review release date 12/22/09

all mention PS3's shortcomings

Correction. All mention the PS3 VERSION's shortcomings. But anyway your grammar on that last sentence didn't make much sense. It would have been more accurate to say "since the game CAME out later in Australia". And Yahtzee seems to have an informal policy of not looking up information about games in advance because he doesn't want to create expectations. This is apparently the main reason he avoids demos. But from time to time this also apparently results in Yahtzee playing an inferior version of a game. Case in point: The Force Unleashed. The same thing may have happened this time OR maybe he was aware of the inferiority of the PS3 version and chose it anyway for reasons of his own.

Brilliant as always, I can't understand the obsession with my friends over this game, I just cannot get into it. Maybe years of playing the DMC series means I can only love them.

Not very interested in the game, but I'm now going to look up some gameplay videos just to see how long her legs are lol. Spirit Tracks and Professor Layton sucking up all my time...

Oops forgot it's a bunch of Nintendo haters here :P

Aha. "Maybe I'll review Borderlands when it stops crashing".

Ah, I like watching it in wider screen aspect ratio. Step by step you're moving closer towards cinemascope.

Excellent. Brilliant.

hahaha... looks like I won't be getting Bayonetta afterall, due to the lack of money and that it is shit... =P

How about next time not review the version that is broken?
shakes head ps3 version really? U did it on purpose right so you got an extra thing to complain about.

Less angry than last week. A good thing I reckon!

Anyways, a nice review as always. Has me rethinking whether or not to get it.

PhiMed:
I have to say I agree with this wholeheartedly. I was as confused as Yahtzee is as to what the hell I was watching. But I'll be honest. I was pretty damn entertained.

Then I was mad because I got the "stone medal". Screw you, game! I beat you! Isn't that sufficient?

If you want better than a stone trophy you'll need to go back and play the levels again without dying so much or using many items. Sounds easy right? Don't worry, the more you play the better you get.

Right?

Okay, in all fairness a patch for the PS3 version of the game is on the way and it allegedly goes a long way toward improving the loading time issues. Of course it was made by Sony, not Sega. I wish I was surprised. The Sega developers have obviously never had lunch with the Naughty Dog developers so to speak.

Here's the two main issues for the PS3 version for thos who don't know: "Frequent, lengthy load times and frame rate hiccups during high-action sequences."

It's kinda odd since the PS3 is the last console that should have these problems, but I guess it's all in the (poorly done) porting.

One of the funniest videos ever - right up there with Guitar Hero III

I never understood the idea behind her costume.
I mean... I've heard of body-hair BUT bodystocking-hair?!

That's just too wierd!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Beard
by Shel Silverstein

image

My beard grows down to my toes,
I never wears no clothes,
I wraps my hair
Around my bare,
And down the road I goes.

This has to be one of my all time favorites! I loved the "Like Devil May Cry(BUT)" haha! Cuz its so true haha!

So did you really like the game? I found it to be quite enjoyable, even though it was a bit over the top, cheesy and the stench of overly sexed themes... But I liked 'em all. Hell, I think Bayonetta soothes my unrequited lesbian notions...
...just saying... I love men! I really do.

DON'T JUDGE ME!

MercurySteam:

PhiMed:
I have to say I agree with this wholeheartedly. I was as confused as Yahtzee is as to what the hell I was watching. But I'll be honest. I was pretty damn entertained.

Then I was mad because I got the "stone medal". Screw you, game! I beat you! Isn't that sufficient?

If you want better than a stone trophy you'll need to go back and play the levels again without dying so much or using many items. Sounds easy right? Don't worry, the more you play the better you get.

Right?

Um... okay. I was making a joke in agreement with one that Yahtzee made. Did you assume I had a developmental disorder, are you being facetious, or are you trolling? I'm aware that better performance will improve the trophy I get. I doubt, however, that I'll go back to play the game more than a second time. It's fun, but it's not fun or interesting enough for me to obsess over perfecting. After all, I have a job, a life, and a wife.

The imps posted naked Bayonetta on the net! Poor her.

Looks like the Bayonetta 1.01 patch addresses one of the presented issues, now you can install the game on the PS3HDD.

I was kind of expecting him to call it a Devil May Cry clone, because that's what the game feels like. Not that there's anything wrong with that, the DMC games are pretty fun, what with their stylistic combat and AAARGH

Funny review, really liked the AAARGH bits for some reason.

Fredrick2003:

Stabby Joe:
After playing the demo I found the gameplay over the top but in a god way...

...however the music really annoyed me, but made worse were all the critics went on to say how good it was while I found it sugary repetitive J-pop... something that plenty of gamers hate.

I love sugary sweet J-pop, the soundtrack owns.

Tastes and stuff ~

I know it comes down to taste but most tracks in games, those who don't like them can just think "it's alright, I can get used to it". With J-Pop its love or hate, no middle ground.

Good comment on developers installing their games onto the PS3, I always get nervous when a game doesn't install.

PedrosPizza:
hahaha... looks like I won't be getting Bayonetta afterall, due to the lack of money and that it is shit... =P

why would it be shit?

he didn't say anything really bad about it.

I've seen videos on [another site] that show that the "automatic" mode allows you to play one-handed, glean from that what you will.

Andaxay:
Hahaha, the Twilight reference made me laugh. Ah, Yahtzee, <3.

Scary how he knows what the vampires in the Twilight books look like. Almost as if he's... read... them.

D:

Or maybe he just stood around long enough - about three seconds - in any area of civilisation and waited for a thirteen year to walk past with an Edward Cullen tshirt.

Sheo_Dagana:
This was a pretty funny review, I mean I like all Yahtzee's reviews but this was the first one in a while I'd laughed out loud at. Especially at the vampires being likened to 'solar powered disco balls.' I hate Twilight.

Shamanic Rhythm:
Best part of this video for me was the subtle dig at Twilight. Thank god some people recognise that shite for what it is.

This I think was uncalled for.

SO I've been watching Yahtzee for a while now. I first started watching cause I was looking for some good british humor. I at the time was watching a sort of funny parody of shitty movies so I wouldn't have to watch them, crammed into a 10 minute review called 10 Minute Theater and it was hell funny. Then I found yahtzee and found he does parodies of shitty games so I don't have to play them. And it has all beeen fun times since then, cracking up laughing crazily and disturbing the other patrons of the internet cafe I'm going to. But Now it has momentarily struck a cord for me when yahtzee made the joke on the Twilight. As a big fan of vampires (like the Anne Rice novels) and as a fan of twilight, for the teenage romance which I've always been fascinated with love, the concept and the pleasure it can bring. I understand that most of the fans of twilight are teenage girls, but I'm a teenage guy, that also watches yahtzee and likes it. I understand how everyone goes over how the sparkling thing is pretty much made for fangirls to go all gooey over, but I literally let it slide and sort of pushed it aside as I was reading it. I didn't anything of it really, and to have twilight ridiculed in the comments even though yahtzee was just parodying twilight and not actually hating it I think some people missed that. So twilight haters I understand you cannot understand teenage romance or perhaps never experienced it yourselves hence why your so cold and bitter (or perhaps your just jumping on the bandwagon) but you don't have to spam yahtzee's comment section about it... keep it to youtube and other trolling grounds.

RJ Dalton:
I don't think it's quite right to say that this game does to witches what Twilight did to vampires. It would give people the wrong idea about what the game is like. Sure, Twilight reduced vampires to desirable sex objects, but it constantly tried to pretend it wasn't, whereas it sounds like this game isn't trying to pretend anything but that. So, you can say it has this much over Twilight: it's at least honest with itself.

It wasn't as much about vampires, as it is about teenage romance.

Anne Rice made vampires into perfect beautiful beings (and dark gods for that matter) long before Twilight.

Andaxay:
Hahaha, the Twilight reference made me laugh. Ah, Yahtzee, <3.

Scary how he knows what the vampires in the Twilight books look like. Almost as if he's... read... them.

D:

Theres a movie you know :D

2 Actually.

Awesome. One of the best Zero Punctuations in ages, even though the previous ones were excellent too. This is still the best thing on Escapist.

I especially agree with with what Yahtzee said about not being affected by attempts to tickle my undercarriage or some-such, on account of being british; I was immediately repulsed from this game when I saw the way they were marketing it, because all the boobs and sexual things made me feel very uncomfortable. Call me immature if you like, but I thought this game was supposed to be marketed at immature people anyway?

I think the gaming-industry/developer-of-this-game needs to take a look at itself and really ask what the hell it's trying to do.

Haven't played the game as of yet but been debating whether to get it. Sounds not too bad actually, might give it a go :).
Hope Borderlands does stop crashing on him, would love to hear what he has to say, even though its a game I truely like haha

I nearly coughed up a lung when I saw the Yahtzee Japanese love pillow

TheUnbeholden:
[quote="Sheo_Dagana" post="6.171340.4723234"]Huge Wall of text

There are a lot of Twilight fans that would have gone off on a rant with bad resoning as soon as they saw any post making fun of it, but I'm glad to see that you aren't one of them, you obviously have intelligence. People don't hate Twilight solely for reasons like that, the main problems people have with it are the fanbase and how overhyped it is, by said fanbase.

The fanbase is overflowing with teenage girls who believe that this is the epitome of love novels, of all literature. They ignore any fault with the book and will fight back at anyone attempting to say it is bad. These people are the reason that everyone hates Twilight. If not for them it would not have gotten even half as much Ire as it has.

The other problem is that the book has some hidden messages in it that have huge problems in what they are saying. If you look closely you can tell that the book is trying to show women are immoral while men need to be strong and pure. It also has a women who is using another man, leading him on, until her other boyfriend comes back, where he promptly leaves him. And don't get me started on the abusive relationship.

Now I'm not trying to say that you liking Twilight is a bad thing or that you shouldn't, I'm just trying to tell you that there are reasons that people dislike the book, and some of them may not be just due to them being hateful towards it. There are some actual concrete evidence that it deserves some hate.

Ploish a pickled gerkin Eh?
Lol I love it when he says "arse, I mean............Arse"

k-ossuburb:
I've seen videos on [another site] that show that the "automatic" mode allows you to play one-handed, glean from that what you will.

You got a link for that? because I've played on very easy with the marionette on (I tend to start games on the easiest mode available and work my way up) and while it completes combos for you (usually not the combo you were trying for which is annoying after a while) the kicks and punches are still on one side of the controller and directional movement on the other, maybe I just have small hands or no co-ordination but I'm not convinced I could manage both with one hand.

I lol'd at the "spam, spam, spam" and the Yahtzee pillow.

And yeah, Twilight is bs.

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