Zero Punctuation: Borderlands

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You'd think the fanboys would have learned by now, if Yahtzee waits this long to review a game, chances are he doesn't like it.

Awesome Review, Mr. Yahtzee.

Good stuff, totally agree about the selection of Guns lol

Although I enjoyed Borderlands with my friends, you basically went over pretty much all of my complaints about the game.

The game was really freaking repetitive, and you did practically face the same enemies over and over again.

Anger + yahtzee = epic Zero Punctuation review :).

I have actually borrowed this game from my buddy. Still have it, and it's pretty much what Yahtzee described. The game is repetetive. Do this, gain xp, find a new gun, bla bla bla. They should've called this "Grindland: the quest for slightly less crappy gear".

i was expecting a dantes inferno rant myself!

Wow, I really liked this one, but I can understand most of his complaints. The most off-putting thing for me was the wonky enemy AI, which he never mentioned.

Funny review as always. Although I like the game all of his points are valid and it was entertaining to watch.

For all the time he had to save up ire and bile, seems like an incomplete trouncing. For one, he didn't make mention of how shallow the weapon generating system or what the fuck it's called is. This is something that was supposed to be the game's selling point, yet somehow all we get is a load of what amount to pretty much just guns from any other shooter, just with small variances in how the numbers crunch out between trigger pull and bang bang splorch. You get elemental damage, cool. Some guns shoot the wrong kind of bullets, but there seem to only be two types of difference there (holy crap! It shoots rockets! and any time where a gun shoots a bunch of pellets with each shot), and yet all instances of that gun and ammo type will ALL BE THE SAME apart from changes due to position on the level curve or what have you.

i was a bit thrown off on this one, i thought he was going to review something else (not going into specifics). i bought this game when it came out and it's very entertaining for a little while, but once you think you beat the game, it says "oh, hey, now you can play the game all over again except with slightly tougher baddies" and i found that ridiculous. playing a game twice just to get the full effect is not my idea of a good time. plus, the splitscreen co-op is great, but in online co-op, everybody just charges ahead, wiping out everything and taking all the good stuff before you can even figure out what's going on.

Borderlands?! WTF, I was looking forward to a review of Mass Effect 2.

I was hoping for Mass Effect 2 to see what his take on the best game ever is, but Borderlands is a nice surprise (I literally said "holy crap he actually reviewed Borderlands").

great something funny for my wednesdays

Talcon:
He's a fanboy because he's trying to debunk my totally legitimate criticism of the game, taking it personally, telling me it's my fault for not liking the game. Like what Yahtzee, you're convinced I misinterpreted my OWN opinion.

||||\ <- I bet this bugs you too

It doesn't take a fanboy to point out that it's not the game's problem when you have some personal compulsion to do things that ruin the "flow" like agonizing over a new gun's stats instead of dealing with the munchkins stabbing you in the leg with used needles. Anyone else would toss the gun in their backpack and worry about it later. Same as you don't *have* to do a lot of those fetch quests, but people tend to be completists and don't like leaving stones unturned.

I don't care if you like the game or not, but the excuse you're using is downright embarassing especially considering all of the stuff in the game that sucks and can't be fixed with a good habit or two... like what a load of BS character-level mismatches are, it's especially unforgivable in an online multiplayer game. The random weapon system could stand to be a lot more random too.

Borderlands was a crock of shit. Like Yahtzee I don't play games with people I don't know, and even if I did the same endless grind does not make for a good game. Also, if multiplayer is so f###ing important to borderlands, would someone tell me why the multiplayer system on the PC release didn't work when the game was released? It wasn't just buggy- it was broken. I spent 45 minutes trying to work out how to make it work so I could play with a few friends, and after rebooting the router 4 times, opening almost every NAT port concievable and even calling my ISP, it STILL didn't work.

Honestly, if I hadn't bought it off steam I would have demanded a refund.

look at it this way. at least you didn't get the pc version.

I loved the guns- nigel's reticulated bangpipe, churlish deathtube and niggling buggerpipe :D quality

I wanted to enjoy Borderlands so much.

Annnd then I didn't :\

So boring... so sad.

Meh. I liked BorderLands. But I can't really argue against him as the majority of his complaints are totally valid. The car does suck and the compare thing is an arse and Yahtzee doesn't enjoy the MMORPG setup. Which is totally fair.

Still I liked it though.

I did enjoy the game at first...when playing with friends and junk
but after a while...idk I just can't play it anymore (even with friends)

The only reason I'd want you to review Final Fantasy XIII is because I know that you'd bash it so much, the developers turn black and blue.

i fully expected a Diablo 2 reference in there.

Locke89:
Also this is really the first game that nailed FPS/RPG.

*Ahem*...Fallout 3?

But I agree with Yahtzee, the fact that I run out of ammunition for all my guns after taking on 3 enemies and shooting them in the face for 3 minutes a piece is utterly retarded.
Not my type of game at all.

I played the game a bit, like 30 minutes, was bored to death the whole time. Its just boring, slow, and uninteresting.

Borderlands is very boring, because it has no variety, nothing interesting to explore, just the same thing over and over again.

I actually played this out of guilt, it was bought for me for christmas by my Parents so I figured I'd better give it a fair go, I'm not a fan of multi-player online games having sworn off of them when i closed down my WoW account last year (and even on WoW the only person I actually spoke to or played any quests with was my gf) so I stuck solely to the single player.

Having said all that Borderlands was a game I actually enjoyed, but I can understand and agree with some of Yahtzee's opinions, the menu system is awful, the car system is just as bad until you get used to it, but even then you can still end up getting the damn thing stuck on a pebble on the road, leaving you with no choice but to get out and walk anyway.

The story felt as though it was added as an afterthought and by that I mean there really wasn't one, the missions in general didn't add anything to the story they were just things you did to get access to the damn vault, which also turned out to be a letdown.

But even after all that the game kept me entertained enough to not only finish it, but to have finished it twice and started chewing through the DLC, the first one of which actually had a better story than the main game.

This is almost exactly my thoughts on this game (including the multiplayer)
Walking from point A to point B same fetch quests, the car driving, Geez i thought we perfected this from PGR3, Right trigger go, analog stick turn. Also every gun looks the same just new staticstics a fancy name and a different color.

LOL! "I got the feeling all the drama is occurring whenever I'm not around". Somehow that summed up my feelings for Borderlands. Booooooring. It's unfortunate you didn't get into the multiplayer, because there were all kinds of bugs with it, too.

You didn't exactly use that USB Glove like I thought you would, either. How many points for using it and watching Hentai at the same time?

Well the fanboys have made Yahtzee angry. AGAIN. Who votes for another mailbag showdown? I do!

You always say that you never do online gaming and yet you've played/play TF2. I understand completely considering this is one of the best games ever (in my opinion :P) and was developed by a company that has a deity like presence among it's fans, and although it's the pinnacle of online gaming, wouldn't it only be far to at least check out other game's online play? I understand that a game can't make up for it's crappiness by justifying it with "online play is alright" but I think that it's usually at least worth a mention

Yahtzee you need to to ;lay it coop with somone you know (and is in the room) THATS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING PLAYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking more forward to the Mass Effect 2 Review, but it seemed like Yahtzee had to review one bad game before getting to the good ones.

I'm not saying Mass Effect is Perfect, Just that I believe Yahtzee's gonna like it.

With that out of the way, Borderlands felt like a game reaching for a sequel like water to one of those poor guys stuck playing it. 1 hour into the game I forgot my original objective and even asked myself "Wait, why did I buy this game again?"

i think he was looking a bit too deep on this 1. yes the game is repetitive as hell, but it reminds me of painkiller. big guns and lots of enemies that need the big bullets in their respective limbs. and if u actually read some of the dialogue, the game has a sense of humor. of course, by this point im either talking to my ass, or no one at all. time to wait for mass effect 2!

Spawnfreak:
Borderlands?! WTF, I was looking forward to a review of Mass Effect 2.

Seriously I was in disbelief that it wasn't ME2 this week. Furthermore I couldn't believe that he hadn't already done Borderlands seeing as it had come out so long ago.

I personally found Borderlands to be extremely boring and the only part I liked about it was the opening cinematic. I'm not even that cynical towards games, I can get into a lot of stuff without much effort.

It's no wonder Yahtzee didn't like it.

I thought Borderlands was awful.

And I love MMOs.

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