Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 4

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Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 4

Lulzy prepares the townspeople for an incoming bandit raid by verbally assaulting them.

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"Calder Cob proved to be quite a snake,
serving brigands from over the lake.
All of his spying
could lead to us dying.
SO WHY ARE WE FEEDING HIM CAKE!?!?"

+10 for limerick
+10 for amusing limerick
+1000 for reference to cake

Well done Shamus, great work.

I've said it before and I'll say it again,

"That hat is epicness itself"

And keep those songs and limericks comeing they're a riot.

The world of Middle Earth has a very progressive policy towards "enhanced interrogation techniques".

It should only be 30 levels or so until you meet competent NPCs. Keep at it, Shamus.

I love this series. And the part where you said the farmer will use his head later to hold pointy objects such as spears made me laugh out loud xD.

Keep up the epic!

Hey, if making him cake gets him to spill the beans, why not.. actually, yeah, that's just silly.

I love this series. Needs to be bi-weekly, methinks.

Shamus, you are the Terry Pratchett of MMORPGers... truly amazing work XD

i know a word that ends in -ick.

you won't like it though...

also, the article makes a very amusing read,
keep it up.

fantastic article, i dont know if its the source material or all the delicious Escapist money but this really is atleast 10 times better than 'star on chest'.

edit: i loved 'Star on Chest' btw.

but i found it quite hard to understand whether you where completing the quests or not until the end.

Awesome work Shamus, I'm liking this quite a bit. I remember going through all of these quests back when I started this game, its hilarious to take another look at them for how ridiculous some of them really are.

Lulzy! Lulzy! Lulzy!

Ohh, limerick, you are getting more and more entertaining with this, Shamus :D

He's a sandwhich waiting to happen!

Just a note that Fenton Marshley *is* supposed to be badass. He's the source for the big Epic Class Quest for Hunters(more classes?) at level 45. Yeah, yeah, all of those who played the game *knew* you were going to mention the Bilberry Cake quest.

Oh, and I'm curious if you'll say anything about the odd starting point for the final quest in the Archet instance. Odd, if you're wanting to defend the town that is.

From the looks of it, this article write itself.

MMOs are fun, even if they seem to lack logic in the quests.

Keep up the amazing work! This is quickly becoming my favorite article on the Escapist!

I simply cannot wait until you find an elf village...Then your deeply rooted racial hatred of humans might find a better home in a deeply rooted racial hatred of a race that really deserves it - ELVES!

Slycne:
The world of Middle Earth has a very progressive policy towards "enhanced interrogation techniques".

lol, thats one way of putting it XD

you know... i really am starting to look forward to these

so yea great job and keep it up!

good work so far, cant wait for the next one

Shamus Young:
Fenton has been drooling over this bit of barely-cooked meat he's put on the fire. He's got these wild, twitchy eyes. It looks like he's doing all the cooking with his bare hands.

I do believe you meant BEAR hands.

Ann Granger? RUN, there are aliens about! That was the english name of An/Natsumi Ginga from Sailor Moon!

These pieces are all excellent! I'm looking forward to the next one. Keep making limericks!

Although, what the hell is up with the cake quest? That was the most retarded and childish quest I have ver seen. Srsly...!

Really enjoying this!

Awesome. Best episode yet!

This is getting more and more incredible. I already have the comparison of LotRO rings to swastikas in my official EU-LotRO forum sig. But I guess I'll have to exchange it for the "ran out of clothes" line.

And I'm really looking forward to Lulzy meeting Sara Oakenheart.

dirk45:

And I'm really looking forward to Lulzy meeting Sara Oakenheart.

Oakheart. While it would be great to see the response of Lulzy to that plot arc, I'm guessing that that would be way, way past the point this Stolen Pixels series would end, unless he makes it as long as the DM of the Rings.

Hah! This is why the men don't take the women seriously.

As for why the guy wanted you to kill the flies, with a second glance I think I have an answer.

He does not leave his meat unattended unless he is killing more meat. That is his law. I think.

Makes it make sense, I suppose.

In somewhat related news, me and a friend were talking, and you know what would make an awesome MMO? Redwall.

I think that'd be awesome fun, and someone could make it work. But apparently the author doesn't like video games or something. Still, I await the day that I can badger-kill some dude.

These townspeople deserve to die. You should just kill them and take the clothes. Hell, you can probably wipe them all out, except for the bear killer.

Hey, that Fenton guy does look badass. If they draft him for town guard they shouldn't have any problems with bandits... as long as there are no flies about.

Great work Shamus, keep it up!

My god, this series is fucking hilarious! I'm loving every bit of it. The songs and limericks are well written and fit exactly what I would expect a minstrel to write. Your character's sarcasm and disdain comes through well and seems well deserved. It really shows how silly quests are in RPGs -- especially MMORPGs. The brave warrior can't kill a pig, the jailer intends to make the cold-hearted criminal talk by baking him a pie, etc. Inevitably, all of these story lines sound silly because the stupid bastards won't just do the easy work by themselves.

In defense of poor Old Bloodtusk, and those who fear him, he actually was a rather fearsome enemy at that point in the game at one time. He generally was best taken on with a team of at least two players and cost many an overeager solo'er their title for reaching level 10 without dying. He is now, however, toned down to laughable in terms of difficulty.

Also, these quests really are as silly as Shamus makes them out to be. There are a lot of quests in LOTRO that tell a good tale and have a very serious tone.. but these ones and many in the Shire do not. Which is why I'm hoping once Lolzy leaves Archet, she heads straight to the Shire for further hilarity. :)

Well, to be fair, when LotRO launched, Old Bloodtusk was a serious adversary. You had to grind up to level 5 or 6 to even have a shot at soloing him and if you grouped up to kill him then you had to wait and camp him once for each person in the fellowship. It was easy to see that, although Cob might think he could hold off brigands, taking out that pig was no easy sneezy task.

The weapons that Cob gave as a reward for that quest were what really made the whole prequel instance worth it -- they were good for the next few levels until you started hitting the late fellowship Chetwood quests down by Combe.

Nowdays, the prequel instance is simply a quick source for xp, Old Bloodtusk has been nerfed almost down to nothingness and the reward weapons have been nerfed as well (the last time I played through, I replaced mine 15-20 minutes later).

I love all the Limericks. Really good stuff.

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