Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect 2

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THANK YOU! You've summed up how I feel about this game.

Jetpacks would be an issue when exploring planets without an oxygen atmosphere. Because the fuel wouldn't be able to combust unless it used oxygen inside the pack intself, but then it would need to be huge.

Mass Effect field. The Normandy can move without burning fuel and biotics can toss you around with their mind. So jetpack equal localized mass effect field that you "drop" into.

You failed to mention the crappy disk swapping.

You failed to mention the crappy disk swapping.

Yahtzee played the PC version which doesn't have that issue.

Wait, this wasn't a Final Fantasy XIII review...

EVE Online actually lets you do that AS A JOB?

thank god for no more vehicles

and to anyone developing a game with Unreal Engine 3: NEVER INCLUDE VEHICLE SECTIONS.

but i'm still not going to buy this game. if the gameplay isn't good, i'm not going to put myself through it. it's why i never finished Mass Effect 1.

Bioware should use Yahtzee's idea, it would prove to be the most enjoyable planet exploration method so far.

Yahtzee's reference made me think again what the "story" in Borderlands is actually like. I don't want to read all of that little text though. Ah, laziness...

What's with 2009 and 2010 being the years of sequals?

what game was capt. goble-cock from

lead sharp:

I never really get why Yahtzee complains about games being too easy when there are multiple difficulty settings.

He should try not issuing commands to the AI on Insanity and see how far he gets...

Someone may have already said this but I'm fucked if I'm reading 191 posts after a 12 hour shift to find out but...

He's only got a few days to review the game, I'm fairly confident that 'easy' is a setting that will allow him to cut a swathe through the story fastest to cover as much game as possible.

Possibly, but that's got nothing to do with my point... he shouldn't criticise it for being too easy when he hasn't played it on the higher settings.

And welcome to the Escapist, may you enjoy your stay :)

you are funny once again! but what, did people complain about you being to mean to bayonetta and dark siders so you decided to tone it down a little? but whatever, the jokes are funny and that's all that matters.

The biggest laugh I got from this was the Eve reference. That was about it really.


Planescape I will give you and Black Isle died of mismanagement and poor followups.

Mismangement on Interplays side of things with them deciding that consoles were the way to go and cancelling Black Isle's 3 big projects in a row.

That may be true but we are not privy to why those 3 projects were cancelled. Also the projects they did complete at the end were derivative and no where near the height of what Planescape was. And that team did leave to become Troika. Icewind Dale 2 being a prime example of phoning it in.

But Troika? I had Arcanum and Bloodlines. Both were very flawed pieces that failed to catch on because they had issues that were serious enough to kill being able to really play the game. The writing was okay but if it had been seriously that good it would have caught on. They were ahead of their time considering that the settings were Steampunk and Vampires.

Troika dies because of dickisness from Activision. And Bloodlines did catch on, it has a fan community that is still doing fan patches today. And whilst it had many issues writing quality was not one of them.

Financial success does not equal good writting and vice versa.[/quote]

True that financial success does not equal good writing but it does equate to a sell-able game. Money matters and ignoring the money because you think that product is great does not make the product great. Bioware and Black Isle and in sense Troika (being founded out of the ruins of Black Isle) had worked together a great deal. Obsidian a company that has many people from Troika and Black Isle still works with Bioware and probably will into the future. I think the writing for Mass Effect was exceptionally good overall. However, I also enjoyed and purchased almost all Black Isle and Troika games so I also enjoyed them as well. (I do have elemental evil too.) I must say that I may go back and play bloodlines seeing that there are patches out there but I must admit it was a rage quit as I kept getting blocked by bugs.
I have already pre-ordered Alpha Protocol and hope it lives up to the bloodlines it has.

Awesume review awesume game!^^

about the driving part ive heard they are supposed to give out a DLC soon, that lets u drive around inn sum type of flying car of sorts.
Might be great, might be like the fucking probing crap.
Actually i have to admit, i had sum fun probing urANUS:P

Once again Yahtzee great review ^_^

No laser wolves are needed to improve on the sequel. WE NEED MORE ELCORS!

not to mention Mordin Solaris sounds ALOT like Yahtzee.

Hmmmm, there might be some truth to that.... Is Bioware screwing with us?


Daystar Clarion:
I found it rather lacking in insults. Which means yahtzee loved it.

Hah, I have started noticing this too. Apart from the scanning of planets he sounded as if he actually enjoyed it as a whole.

Good review, amusing as usual ;-)

With all the controversial reviews and posts, I really hope Yahtzee reviews AvP soon!

Pretty spot on, however I did think the combat was a lot more entertaining than it was in the first.

I didn't mind the review. I loved this game, and i think Yahtzee liked it (even if he doesn't want to admit liking any sort of RPG). I knew he was going to make a big deal about the mining. Its boring, but its seriously not a HUGE part of the game, and considering each RICH planet has about 30k of each element it goes relatively fast.

Yahtzee: You totally dismissed the writing as just another part of the game. Ok yes bioware does it consistantly and better than everyone else, but cmon give them a little credit.

Spider Expert:
Pretty spot on, however I did think the combat was a lot more entertaining than it was in the first.

Spot on. I thought the combat was average/clunky in the first one, didn't even need to use cover. But ME2 addresses this well... as you said, entertaining.

lol really funny

but i will never play this game because i dont have 360 but, really funny

Daystar Clarion:
I found it rather lacking in insults. Which means yahtzee loved it.

Well a couple reviews ago, he DID refer to it as an "all-consuming gelatinous cube", so I assumed it was at least rather addicting for him.

Very nice review, Yahtzee. Shame to see all those complaints, but I really can't disagree with you on any of them. Shame you didn't mention the characters though, but we'd be here all night if you did that.

planet exploration with jetpacks would be awesome! like dark void only w/o the suckiness!

I found what you said about the mako to be hilarious as it was so tedious and felt like it was just slapped on just to make the game that *little bit better* when it wasnt.Probing planets is pretty boring aswell.

I think its time for me to post my thoughts on both Mass Effect 2 and Yahtzee's comment towards the game. I disagree with him about the combat system. Its easy, but its far better then the one in Mass Effect 1. Not to mention the fact that it has four difficulty settings. Casual, Normal, Hard, and Insane. If any of you out there think the combat is easy, go play on Insane difficulty and then come back and talk to me. :) This isn't directed at Yahtzee himself, but rather the people who hate the Mass Effect 2 for no reason. And no, I am not a BioWare fan-boy.

But getting back to my original statement about the combat, I would like to also point out about body shot hits. In Mass Effect 1, when you shoot an enemy in the head, they take the same amount of damage when you shoot them in the stomach. In Mass Effect 2, head-shots are instant kill. Especially with a pistol and sniper. This isn't a fault really. Every first person shooter has this system.

I will admit, I was disappointed that health regeneration would be in Mass Effect 2 at first, but after seeing what a epic fail the medi-gel system was in the first game, I'd much prefer the regeneration system.

You failed to mention the crappy disk swapping.

Yet you failed to the fact that only the 360 has this problem. PC gamers for the win.

And why would anybody want the planet exploration to come back? Granted, I enjoyed the concept of it. Being able to travel to uncharted worlds and exploring them for hidden secrets sounds nice. But the way it was executed in Mass Effect 1 was terrible. All of the uncharted worlds looked exactly the same. There was no sense in variety and to be quite truthful, it was boring and repetitive. In Mass Effect 2, it returns, but its improved. The planets now have more detail to them, and the exploration system works better too. Plus, I hated the M35 Mako.

But I can see most of you are disappointed by this. Let me be the first to remind you that there is a DLC coming out that contains the M57 Hammerhead. Which contains a hover feature. Who knows what else would be included alongside that...

My final reply is that the ending of Mass Effect 2 was not a rip off of Elder Scrolls. Not sure why anybody would come up with this idea, but it just simply isn't. Elder Scrolls itself is a rip off of J. R. R. Tolkien works and many D&D stories. But lets not get into that today. I'll be ranting my pants off for about 6 hours if we went into that. :P But my main point is that Mass Effect 2 (IMO) contained one of the most cinematic endings I've ever seen in a video game. It was exciting, fast paced, and had the qualities of a movie. It felt like I've watched Star Wars and Star Trek (2009) for the very first time of my life. And this is a good feeling.

In comparison to other video games out in the market, Mass Effect 2 beats them in a long way. Boarderlands, Dark Void, Bayonetta, Darksiders and the Elder Scrolls series (Yes, I hate that.) are just really bad when compared to Mass Effect 2. This statement doesn't mean I'm a blind Mass Effect fan-boy though. There are other games which I enjoy more then Mass Effect 2. But I'm just comparing it to any other January 2010 releases.

Bioware should use Yahtzee's idea, it would prove to be the most enjoyable planet exploration method so far.

They would have to make a multiple animations to do such a thing. I don't think it'll be in Mass Effect 3, but if you want to be hoping, be my guest.

EDIT: Argh. The Escapist has one of the worst reply features I've ever seen.

I rented this game and I have to say it was rather lacking, I came into it with bad intentions because i hated the first Mass Effect game the second the vehicle sections came in. And I'm glad they got rid of those but i was hoping for there to some aspects from Dragon Age: Origins in there... A game I absolutely loved but sadly no it was just like the first minus the inventory part and thats weird that they would take that out. Anyways I think this game was just bloody awful.

i find it pretty funny that he refuses to give points for the game having solid writing because he considers that to be a standard for BioWare games
and then exactly ONE sentence later he complains about characters getting "the BioWare face" when delivering lines
implying that the recurring elements in their games doesn't count if its a good feature but does count if its bad


I want to know who Yahtzee sexed! I hope it's Tali.

You know if you sex up Tali, in the next game she's going to contract an virus and die from a poor immune system...right?


I'm surprised Yahtzee missed the occasion to rip into the dick move that Bioware made with the DLC. You know giving you a handfull of weapons in the game and then trickling weapons and armours with the DLC. Oh and the driving sections are coming back in the next major DLC. This time we'll be driving a tank, and I'm sure that will handle even 'better' than the Mako.
Also Yahtzee didn't seem to notice that Shepard grunts like a 80 year old smoker after a 20 meter sprint.

I found this game to be a lot shittier than the first mass effect. As always I picked going for the pure and selfless hero, the lone speck of hope in a galaxy filled with bigoted greedy fucks. Then I gave him two partners; the crazy biker psychic, who I felt was the only relatable character, and the robot woman from the first game, and laughed my whole way through the game as they spend every mission telling me I'm an idiot and a pussy. I was annoyed with every mission; from their pitiful length, to its shitty endings. The game had a tendency to end missions with clicking on laptops, without telling you it was the mission ending laptop, and that there is NO way back to the planet if you click on this and do not hunt down all the credits and surprises first. All Shepards old friends were fucktards, or they turned into emotional rambo wannabe fucktards. The dialogue was so piss poor I actually LIKED the mineral searching, because it gave me ten minute breaks from having to listen to any of the pricks speak. Once I realized that using the tech girls drone to aggro all the enemies in the room and psycho psychics mental freight train ability scattered them to the far corners of the world, I found that pecking them off with my sniper rifle held all the reward of euthanizing a vegetable. Even on Insanity I had a piss easy time. The only enjoyment from the game I got was watching everyone roll their eyes whenever I picked the paragon responces. Overall, I feel robbed that I emptied my wallet for this. Really hoping Bioshock 2 doesnt let me down the same way.

I was expecting Yahtzee to kick Mass Efect 2 in the balls or something.
I'm rather disappointed.

I guess that we have a very different taste.

mass effect 3 with jetpacks? yes please

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