Zero Punctuation: Dante's Inferno

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Nice to hear the voice sounds like back at the youtube days.
And good wanking joke.

Played the demo. Have to agree with the review, to much heath for low level enemys and holy powers didn't cover the cost. Also i'm sure the end of sunday night becomes more a chore than pleasure for Yahtzee.

I didn't think much about the "voice change" that people are talking about. If i do have to think about it (which i am obviously doing now) then really, its only a very slight... and more like his starting videos. the only thing that jumped out at me (which i don't think anyone has mentioned up to now) is the
"as if you're trying to make fire without matches on his face".
I wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose, like that time he said "so apparently i'm a retard", but i watched the review again and he genuinly ran out of breath. perhaps a bit of punctuation might not of hurt.

I'm glad to see his pride of "doing it all in one go" overrides the fear of sounding retarded.

I liked some of the imagery he uses. He wouldn't have been half as funny without it XD

Hmmm, well I don't play many brawlers, but this one got me interested, and I was enjoying it.

I however hit a bug on the "Greed" level and have been waiting for a fix. Thus I can't consider this game to be a massive success since apparently a lot of people have been having the same problems I have.

Do you have a cold? Yell yourself hoarse the previous day?

Not that it was awful. Just noticeable.

...
Best wishes on your recovery.

LornMind:
"You call this searing?" Hah. Nice.
"Baby's first vagina adventure" Okay, that brings in way too many odd images.

If you think about it wouldn't baby's first vagina adventure, always be being born.

Wait no one got banned this video? Thats a first.

Anyway now I might rent God of Dante to see what all this big hairy bum thing is all about. (Not gay)

Something is a bit off about Yahtzee's voice this week.

Great review.

I secretly think there's a conspiracy going around wherein game companies who make God of War ripoffs are actually somehow connected to whatever company created God of War (I apologize, I'm one of the, like, seven people who hasn't played God of War and doesn't know who made it) as a way to make God of War III look that much better than all the God of War knock-offs.

S always, much lol was had.

Great review!

Nemu:
Loved it. :D
I actually went out and bought an XBox to play this game. Okay, I admit it was more to be able to play FFXIII next week, and it was cheaper than the PS3. Regardless, I've been waxing dreamily about killing unbaptised babies ever since I purchased the game.

Sure, it's a knockoff of GoW et al, but you know, GoW was a rip-off of games I played 20 years ago. (Doom anyone? Okay, how about Diablo?) It was still kinda fun and it satisfied my "GOD, I hated Catholic school" twitches for a few hours.

One can only hope that kids don't look at this game and think that it is on par with The Divine Comedy. 700 years later, that poem lives up to it's epicness and I'd hate to thik kids were (once again) misguided by mainstream media.

Anyway, great review. :D
"And then I met Virgil and we became friends" made me laugh for, well...minutes, but it was hysterical during those shiny, maniacal moments.

Okay, I can kind of understand buying an Xbox to play some games like Gears of War 2. But if you swap out Gears of War 2 for Dante's Inferno it doesn't really make all that much sense. EA went to great lengths to favor the PS3 version of the game (or the "Divine Edition" of the game) like including extra stuff with it at no additional cost. But perhaps most significantly the PS3 version of the upcoming Dante's Inferno DLC is going to be free while the Xbox version is going to cost money. There's also the fact that the Xbox has a significantly higher failure rate and the fact that the DVDs that Xbox games are on lack the protective hard coating of the Blu Ray discs that PS3 games are on. It seems to me that unless a game is an Xbox exclusive or the Xbox version is notably superior (this was the case with Bayonetta but this is in all likelihood not going to be the case with FFXIII, in fact there's a pretty decent chance that the PS3 version is going to be at least slightly better), the PS3 version is the better bet.

And you can plausibly accuse God of War of being a rip-off of some games, but Doom and Diablo most certainly do not seem to be among them. Neither one of those games is even of the same genre as God of War.

Wow, you have a full schedule, you think you can fit me in xD

I'm actually a little surprised that Yahtzee didn't mention the... odd advertising campaign, but still good. Don't really get the comparison to God of War 2, though, since I haven't played it.

Beats the fuck/hell (can't remember) outta me!

was probably the best joke ever.

Awesome. You didn't seem to hate this game too much.

And great work trashing Dante's Inferno Yahtzee (I'm not being even slightly sarcastic). There have been some reviewers who have been giving the game far more credit than it deserves, although this website is among them ironically.

So true about the "moral choices" thing - early press about the game had said choices you made in damning vs absolving would lead to different endings...turned out to be B.S. And yes, while the first few levels were pretty creative, the game gets really repetitious as it goes further along.

For me, the best way he could start off his GOW III review (if he does one) would be to say, "Oh great, yet another game forcing me to drag out my 'Like God Of War' tag...wait a minute..."

good one this week. particularly liked the beginning god-analogy bit.

teehee... masturbatioln joke. Honestly i'm disappointed, this seemed like a game I would like, but then again I liked god of war... Oh well, another piece of mediocrity... meh

The Political Gamer:
Wait no one got banned this video? Thats a first.

I thought that, but then I noticed someone on the first page had quoted what was effectively a 'first!' post, so I guess they just decided to delete them this time.

As for the video: there is no such thing as too many wanking jokes. Well played.

I love hairy arses as much as the next guy... but I doubt I'll be playing this game anyway

Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

I have a friend who paid full price for this game..... But the joke's me as he's really enjoying it.... Or is it on him coz he really likes it? God stop messing with my mind.

Okay, if Yahtzee was truly the "literary fag" he claimed to be, he'd know that the lustful are blown around in hell since they allowed themselves to be blown around by the winds of passion in life, going from partner to partner like an STI social butterfly. And is it just me, or does anyone else envision said wind being a giant queef?

i actually liked dante's inferno. i didn't find anything shitty about it besides the hairy bum part after yahtzee mentioned it. O_o... they really REALLY took the nudity over the top, much more than The Saboteur.

Little Duck:
Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

Haha. Right hand joke. So awesome.
I wanna know what the deal is with the hairy bum thing though :S

*sigh* Here we go again with the difficulty setting wank. . .

Other than that, made me laugh harder than I have all day. I pretty much knew this game was going to be rubbish from the get-go, but it was confirmed after I played the demo at GameX. I'll give their marketing department kudos, though, for going above and beyond. Some of that stuff was downright genius. Still won't touch this game with a 39-and-half foot pole, though.

spartan773:

Little Duck:
Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

When for the love of existence are you going to review silent hill shattered memories !!!?????

Little Duck:

spartan773:

Little Duck:
Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

Fuck yeah, get it. there's tons of changes and has been getting decent reviews all across the board... BUT before you even fork out the 40 bucks for the game... why don't you rent a copy and try it?

I'll save you guys the trouble of playing the game to understand the hairy bum...

I'm going to display an unwarranted amount of nerdiness here, and admit that by far my favourite line in this review (and my favourite line in a while, too) was "Dante's Inferno the poem is history's first recorded work of self-insert fanfiction." That made me laugh like an absolute lunatic.

SamStar42:
Ha, just watched it.

Like my right hand on a sunday night - IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME made me laugh hard. Really good this week.

Totally agree... I was laughing so hard I had to pause it and go back about 30 seconds because I couldn't hear a word over my laughing...

Anyway, good review as always (actually, better than usual). No surprise that Dante's Inferno isn't worth playing. Yet another game felled by shoddy design and EA's hype machine.

Hashbrick:

I thought lust demons attacked you with vagina tentacles...

Also, part of me wonders how much of this review's vitriol was engendered by that Rickroll box, but I know Yahtzee's not that vindictive. He's much more vindictive than that.

Clearly lust and wind go together cause lust rhymes with gust lol

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