Zero Punctuation: Dante's Inferno

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I knew it! I smelt 'God of War clone' the instant I started playing the demo!

I rather liked the throwaway tableau he drew at the beginning with Abraham about to spike Isaac, with $(GOD) floating in at the last minute saying, "Just kidding."

Here i thought Yahtzee was going to mention the stupid recurring "why did you break your promise" dribble from Dante's wife when the explanation is simple: If he'd unplugged himself from his wife BEFORE promising to 'forsake all pleasures of the flesh', thereby breaking it the very nanosecond he made it, then maybe she wouldn't've gone to hell in the 1st place! But then, how the hell is that her fault? In his 'infinite wisdom', god decided to punish the wife for the sins of the husband? I only played the demo and realised the full version is completely redundant as long as my God of War doean't go missing. Plus, unlike Dante, Kratos wasn't a complete numpty. Beatrice: "why did you break your promise?" Dante: "I don't understand" although, to be fair, the blood flow to his brain was minimal at the time.

Well said, Yahtzee, well said! I agreed with every single thing you said in that video.

"It's like my right hand on a Saturday afternoon"
"Why is that"
"It beats the hell out of me!"

Great show, sport!

Stop stealing what I was going to say!!!

Played the game. It wasn't horrible but it was in no way as fun as GoW. The only thing DI did better than GoW II was graphics and that is expected from a next gen game.

Disagree with ya, Yatzee. This is atleast better than REHASHING God of War (into a 3rd). I'm sick of sequels and am glad that EA decided to try a new IP, even if the mechanics are identical to GoW.

That was one of the funniest ones I've seen.

Two things....

1. Sounds like you wank it too much.
2. Glad I didn't buy this.

You can never wank to much


Little Duck:


Little Duck:
Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

Fuck yeah, get it. there's tons of changes and has been getting decent reviews all across the board... BUT before you even fork out the 40 bucks for the game... why don't you rent a copy and try it?

Why would I do that if buying it outright is universaly cheaper?

it beats the fuck out of me LOL

I didn't think much about the "voice change" that people are talking about. If i do have to think about it (which i am obviously doing now) then really, its only a very slight... and more like his starting videos. the only thing that jumped out at me (which i don't think anyone has mentioned up to now) is the
"as if you're trying to make fire without matches on his face".
I wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose, like that time he said "so apparently i'm a retard", but i watched the review again and he genuinly ran out of breath. perhaps a bit of punctuation might not of hurt.

I'm glad to see his pride of "doing it all in one go" overrides the fear of sounding retarded.

I liked some of the imagery he uses. He wouldn't have been half as funny without it XD

Heh. Yeah - I noticed that, too. Seemed like he was running out of breath.

I'm not completely sure whether or not it was on purpose, but it did sound rather humorous. xD

That was a good review. WAY funnier than his ME2 or Borderlands review. I'm still going to try to at least rent the Dante's Inferno, though, since I actually don't have god of war 2.

meh I wouldn't know the difference (between good or bad) with either Dante's Inferno or God of War...not my preferred genre at all

LoL Was that a poke at the 'Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster' (yes, you can Google it) in the credits? Video made me laugh like always. :)

This was old schools quality review. I loved the jokes :D

I love it when he said. "Without matches on his face!"

I saw Ludo on his clock pick with wank wank wank.

Cookie for ye who knows where that's from.

right hand and sunday nights XD "beats the hell out of me" o good one! hoho funny review. finally bringing back the 'not gay' proclivities \o/

First 45 seconds;Part of the reason I'm agnostic.

I've always found dantes inferno an odd game since I saw the first preview.I haven't read the book it's based of but when I hear of it being one of the most important peices of litiarature and involving religion,it just seemed really crazy of EA to do a god of war rip off.

Demon souls is better... GOD and this game are boring, its like playing the TMNT Arcade game.( nothing wrong with this 10 years ago..0

punch. kick. jump.
jump kick punch
kick kick punch
jump kick jump kick

BOOOORING...i played GOD 1 and never died... nEVER... too easy...

I might rent it...

What box? i want to know more about it

"Beats the fuck out of me!"

It's such a corny joke. So, why did I laugh so damn hard?

damn in this one you gave no leg room, you just straight up said it sucked...finally!

sounds like they should have put their millions worth of marketing into making the second half better instead of putting on fake protests.

Any gamer paying any sort of attention could have predicted the mediocre scores it was going to get just by the ammount of hype and marketing that went into it

Kinda expected him to bag this one out. Ah, well, I'll still give it a run through.

well, as I expected, he'd hate it, but... it seems like he doesn't hate it enough. There's barely any vitriol.

While I found the video entertaining, I have to admit I found the same with the game, it was mindless entertainment and well worth a play-through, however, it was way too short.

For £40, unless it's a prostitute, I expect my money to last me more than 7 hours of playtime, the weird thing is I now have no intention of picking up GoW3 either for fear of being doubly disappointed.

i remember hearing something about that singing box he recieved. it rick rolld him and would not stop until he destroyed the main tape.somthing along those lines

This was one oft he funniest ones in a while, and Yahtzee has really been picking up the act lately. Great to see he's not losing his edge; unlike the gaming market! :P

I never intended on buying this as I hate god of war but this one at least kept me entertained through a whole demo. My friend did buy it so I planned on just borrowing it from him as they already got a sale from him why not play it to see how horrible or good it may be.

Maybe I will borrow bayonetta too and laugh my way through a bad sex joke.

Good use of Ultima 5 in there Yahtzee

Wait a minute, did Yatzee just use a "Gitaroo Man" reference? Who's going to get that, like 10 people?

that was hilarious! xD

by the way, at the end you were asking how a whirlwind has to do with lust, i wondered that same thing to. as much as you don't want to recall that mess, here's why: the Tornado of Souls (it's a tempest in the poem, but this is a Megadeth reference!) is supposed to have the souls caught in the eye of the tornado (blow me awaaaay) so that the lovers may never touch or feel ever again. if you think about it, it's hard to f**k your lover when
A; they're in some other part of the tornado
B; finding them would be impossible, think of the millions of porn stars that are trapped in there plus anyone else who's cheated or had premarital sex in the past 5000 years
C; actually finding the time to f**k when you're being hurdled at a hundred miles an hour in the air
D; the souls in the tornado are like ghosts

for a horny f**ker, that's hell.....b/c you can't f**k.....le duh

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