Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 7

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Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 7

Lulzy slaughters bandits for an assortment of trinkets.

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not as funny as the previous but still a lot better than most things out there, but i guess lulzy getting back home should resolve in hilarity, so carry on good sir.

Competent NPCs who give good rewards? Not until you're up to Mines of Moria content, young bard!

I thought you did recover the tree diary, you just said that the quest was challenging...

Man, these quests are just getting progressively lamer and lamer. These goddamn NPCs need to get their priorities straight!

You're lucky you didn't wander across the level 25 Elite Warg that roams that area Shamus. Anyone who's met the Griffin in EQ's East Commonlands will know what I mean.

and so the ridiculity continues..

at least you make enough fun of it :)

The Great JT:
Competent NPCs who give good rewards? Not until you're up to Mines of Moria content, young bard!

lol...an NPC that useful...only ever met one...ONE! XD

Ah... the obligatory Chetwood shot.

image

Ugh... who writes for this game? Killing people for a snot-rag?! I mean, I understand the narrative difficulties posed by the MMORPGer structure, but holy crap! And those names <cringe>!

Still, great writing by Shamus!

I don't know who are crazier: the brigands who steal random worthless items or the people who long after them. I mean a fishing pole? That's basically just a stick, right?

Anyways, good stuff once again.

SaunaKalja:
I don't know who are crazier: the brigands who steal random worthless items or the people who long after them. I mean a fishing pole? That's basically just a stick, right?

Anyways, good stuff once again.

What if the guy's family were all fishermen/women for as long as they remember? And this particular fishing pole was a family heirloom?? Oh, the angst!

*cue tragic music*

I really must stop drinking (regular fluids) while reading this. It was going pretty well, but that last bit about the bandit's loot really struck me.

Good show.

This is so great.
Just hurry up and get to the quests that make sense, LotrO's losing a lot of respect...
On the other hand, don't. It's really difficult to make fun of the perfectly competent parts of a game.

Jaredin:

The Great JT:
Competent NPCs who give good rewards? Not until you're up to Mines of Moria content, young bard!

lol...an NPC that useful...only ever met one...ONE! XD

Yeah, Tirion Fordring on line 2, Darion Mograine on line 3, Thrall on line 4, Sylvanas Windrunner on line 5, Jaina Proudmoore on line 6, Varian Wrynn on line 7, Brann Bronzebeard on line 8 and Bolvar Fordragon on line 9.

World of Warcraft NPCs at least show some competency.

Why can't an MMO have quests that make sense? Like not asking you to kill people for worthless piece of trash? Are the writers trying to be funny, incompetant or does nobody who plays MMO's ever read these things?

i64ever:
Why can't an MMO have quests that make sense? Like not asking you to kill people for worthless piece of trash? Are the writers trying to be funny, incompetant or does nobody who plays MMO's ever read these things?

Most people don't read quest text, therefore they don't care why they need to find Maguffin #3 or whatever. I used to read the quest text when I had my trial account, I found that I couldn't stand doing most of the quests because they were so meaningless, so I stopped reading the quest text altogether, and the game immediately became 100% more fun, at least for me.

EDIT: Oh, and Shamus, you win infinity internets with that Blade Runner quote at the end. It made me want to jump for joy when I read it.

As much as I'm glad Lulzy just gave up on the tree diary quest, I'm a little disappointed that she went ahead with the handerchief one. I mean, there's silly quests, and then there's this. Even with Lulzy's inexplicable attraction to items of clothing, which doesn't even really apply here anyway, exactly what possible motivation could anyone have to do this? I can imagine a real person going through most of these quests, and poking fun at them as they go, but I simply cannot accept the idea of someone fending of hordes of brigandes for the sake of a lost handkerchief, especially when there isn't even any apparent reward for doing so. It's just unjustified.

Otherwise, still hilarious stuff. Keep it coming Shamus!

Not to be picky but Cole is a Sig not an Elite. Love this series tho!

matrix3509:
Most people don't read quest text, therefore they don't care why they need to find Maguffin #3 or whatever. I used to read the quest text when I had my trial account, I found that I couldn't stand doing most of the quests because they were so meaningless, so I stopped reading the quest text altogether, and the game immediately became 100% more fun, at least for me.

EDIT: Oh, and Shamus, you win infinity internets with that Blade Runner quote at the end. It made me want to jump for joy when I read it.

I can understand that notion. I mean, seriously, are the writers on crack? I've come up with better stories in my sleep.

Also, Blade Runner quote? Where?

Mortagog:
I can understand that notion. I mean, seriously, are the writers on crack? I've come up with better stories in my sleep.

Also, Blade Runner quote? Where?

I've heard that the quests in Mirkwood and Moria are absolutly awesome and that the Shire quests are intentionally bad to highlight the difference in the Hobbit culture. I have to admit though, as soon as I got out of the Shire I started enjoying it more. I went from "this is torture" to "this isn't as bad as the Shire. I'm in the Barrow-downs now and it is honestly a lot more fun (though they still refuse to let go of those "kill x number of y creature" quest, seriously it seems thats all most MMOs are good for these days).

Also the Blade Runner quote is: "Home again, home again jiggety-jig." It may not have come from Blade Runner, but thats where I first heard it.

EDIT: a 3 second google search revealed that quote is actually from a Mother Goose rhyme. Go figure...I never liked those damned rhymes.

This game looks terrible. Visually I mean.

I mean...I've been playing some playstation games again recently. They look bad, but it kind of fits.

This game looks like it was trying to not look bad and fell short.

Sort of like when I try to chip onto the green and the darn ball rolls back down the hill...

Yeah...I suck at golf.

matrix3509:
Snip

The LotRO makers must really hate hobbits then I guess. And I hear you on the "kill x number of y creature" quests; mosts dev's seem to lack the guts to create their own version of the wow-formula. And no matter how innovations they add, the core remains the same, and the fate of those games is inevitably depopulation as the players go back to wow. But I digress...

Do you recall who says it and when? I really can't recall, though it wasn't exactly yesterday I saw that flick (the word flick doesn't do it justice really, but it sounds hip).
I'm also a fervent hater of nursery rhymes and I can't recall that I enjoyed them as a kid either. Down with Mother Goose!

I must say, Shamus. This is absolutely brilliant. Probably my favourite feature of the Escapist after Yahtzee, and even before Experienced Points. Keep up the good work!

How long will this series go on?

lol had i known it was this comical to read the quest i would have done so more often XD

I don't mind a challenging mission, but the game needs to signal to the player "this one is a handful."

This is what turned me off EVE Online. I spent the weekend doing the easy tutorial quest line. Then I was slaughtered because I talked to the wrong NPC. He sent me on a pirate killing quest in a zone levels above me. Nothing at the time indicated I was in over my head. If there was, I didn't see it and the tutorial didn't point it out. I thought I died because I was in the crappy starter ship but no. After upgrading to the best ship I could afforded, I was still instantly killed.

That is one of the acceptable breaks from reality that I like in WoW. I like to think the NPC's are looking you over before they give you a quest. They will let you know they have one but won't hand it out if you are not level appropriate.

Heh, heh. I love the songs at the end of these! Good thing you're playing a bard. Now if you can just set them to music...

Mortagog:

matrix3509:
Snip

The LotRO makers must really hate hobbits then I guess. And I hear you on the "kill x number of y creature" quests; mosts dev's seem to lack the guts to create their own version of the wow-formula. And no matter how innovations they add, the core remains the same, and the fate of those games is inevitably depopulation as the players go back to wow. But I digress...

Do you recall who says it and when? I really can't recall, though it wasn't exactly yesterday I saw that flick (the word flick doesn't do it justice really, but it sounds hip).
I'm also a fervent hater of nursery rhymes and I can't recall that I enjoyed them as a kid either. Down with Mother Goose!

You are both aware that nursery rhymes were not intended for entertainment, but as ways of remembering bits of history, right? In the days when most of the populace was illiterate, stories and rhymes were used among the common folk to recall certain people and events. For example, "Ring Around the Rosie" = the Plague, "Mary, Quite Contrary" = Mary, Queen of Scots, etc. As such, they were never intended to be "enjoyed," but rather to be learned from.

Good stuff, I look forward to this as much as I do Yahtzee. Keep it coming!

Yes, alot of the early quests in this game are an absolute joke. Lots of pointless mob killing to get rather meaningless objects. It get's better later on though.

I've been playing LOTRO since launch, and I love this series you are doing Shamus! This is hilarious. Not sure how long you'll continue this, but if you don't intend it to be very long I'd love to see you cover the "book" quests or just get further into the game. At this rate you'll be in Bree by Christmas lol. You are very creative though and I can't wait for each new installment. :)

Some people will give you pocket change to run to Mt. Doom and swipe the newspaper off of Sauron's doorstep

You got pocket change for that?? All I got was a snotty, bloody handkerchief!

Blackbird71:

Mortagog:

matrix3509:
Snip

The LotRO makers must really hate hobbits then I guess. And I hear you on the "kill x number of y creature" quests; mosts dev's seem to lack the guts to create their own version of the wow-formula. And no matter how innovations they add, the core remains the same, and the fate of those games is inevitably depopulation as the players go back to wow. But I digress...

Do you recall who says it and when? I really can't recall, though it wasn't exactly yesterday I saw that flick (the word flick doesn't do it justice really, but it sounds hip).
I'm also a fervent hater of nursery rhymes and I can't recall that I enjoyed them as a kid either. Down with Mother Goose!

You are both aware that nursery rhymes were not intended for entertainment, but as ways of remembering bits of history, right? In the days when most of the populace was illiterate, stories and rhymes were used among the common folk to recall certain people and events. For example, "Ring Around the Rosie" = the Plague, "Mary, Quite Contrary" = Mary, Queen of Scots, etc. As such, they were never intended to be "enjoyed," but rather to be learned from.

Actually, 'Ring around the Rosie' isn't really about the plague - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_a_Ring_o'_Roses#Plague_interpretation - that's a retcon.

And there's no evidence that Mary Quite Contrary is actually Mary Queen of Scots - that's disputed too.

If this were QI, you'd have klaxons going off now.

So you do all the work and get 0.018 percent of the money? I can't remember having heard about any deal more horrible than that.

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