Reliable Source: I Sometimes Shoplift From GameStop

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Reliable Source: I Sometimes Shoplift From GameStop

Marion explains why his criminal behavior is really his mother's fault.

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I always feel sorry for Satan. He always gets the blame for peoples' bad decisions.

I know these articles are fictions, but sometimes, I read articles like this one, and I just have to wonder...

Great article, by the way. May your cargo pants liberate us from our corporate masters.

hmmm.... that bit with the whiny kid and his mom somehow reminded me of a character in south park.....

Loved the article, Cargo pant pockets all the way

God everytime your articles both make me laugh and make me think...stop that I just want to laugh. In all seriousness, keep up the good work, I've been a fan since you started doing the RS papers

I would love to see Gil's face during the Lust level.

Very interesting read. Good job

So what did Gil think of the game, I can't be the only one wondering this?

Fantastic article as always Marion!
Might I suggest pilfering Dr.Muto if you ever come across it, it's a ps2 game but damn funny and enjoyable to play.

S.R.S.:
I would love to see Gil's face during the Lust level.

Oh god...the ideas and thoughts that would be going through the mind...heh

Excellent as always.

Mr. Cox:
He was in my world now.

I love that feeling. Getting complete control over someone with vengeance on the mind. It happens very rarely but when it does I savor every second.

They have the games IN the case!? BRB going to shoplift some used games

Haha, nice. I have a nice recommendation: If you're confident enough to do it, always ask the attending shopkeeper to check the back for any copies of an obscure game. It totally leaves the sales room empty for you, and usually other people there stare at you and smirk, wondering if they could get away with it too.

EDIT: The trick is making sure you're grabbing the right games. The $20 and under section has the games in the cases, but the $25 and up cases are empty. They're not totally retarded.

But seriously, great article. Made me laugh and get a little bit of insight as to why my mother threatened to kill me if I didn't sell my old Pokémon games when I was 9.

You should be suspended for stealing games, it's not right.

People who bring religion into gaming kind of get to me

I like to think of myself as religious, but I don't see to much problem with gaming, and when some person starts saying "Video Games are made by the devil", it dosen't fell to good.

Marion, I want to punch you in the face with a rainbow.

The first paragraph is truth in its purest form.

Great read, you're the greatest Cox since Doctor Cox. BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE AS AWESOME AS DOCTOR COX.

How do you steal the games? They keep the empty cases out and when you bring them the case they pull the games out of a locked drawer behind the counter. I think the discount games in the bins are still in the case but not the current gen stuff. Good article, though!

Jeronus:
How do you steal the games? They keep the empty cases out and when you bring them the case they pull the games out of a locked drawer behind the counter. I think the discount games in the bins are still in the case but not the current gen stuff. Good article, though!

This is what I was thinking when I was reading the article, I want to steal from Game Stop.

Marion you kick ass.

So satan has nothing better to do now than make video-games?

Screw video games, apparently Escapist articles are leading youth down the wrong path... haha

don't they have .. cameras or something .. in gamestop?

Phoenixlight:
You should be suspended for stealing games, it's not right.

Wow dude.../facepalm.

OT: Great article! Gil must have been extremely surprised ;0).

I share Marion's enjoyment of watching children convince their parents to buy M-rated titles through strategies that span from pleading and guilt to outright lies. This pleasure is effectively doubled by the fact that, as an employee, I am the jagged rocks their young and bright-eyed dreams will be dashed upon. Nothing breaks up the monotony of days filled with kids trading in boxes of GBA games with the labels removed or people thinking we are a tech support hotline than single-handedly denying Gears of War 2 to 13-year-old ritalin junkie. What's best about this experience is, as a young 20-something, these kids initially look to me as friend and ally, assuming that, like some benevolent Big Brother, I will take their side in the debate. As I list reasons both true and fictional as to why their child should never be allowed to play this - nor any - mature game, I must consciously remember not to smile as the look of shock and confusion on their grubby little faces slowly gives away to that vacant stare of deep and weighted finality. It is defeat they are experiencing, pure and unadulterated; born heavy upon their shoulders to forever more drag the stars down from the heavens in their eyes to be trodden into the mud by the uncaring swine of the world.

Good life training and I am glad to be a part of it.

Tom Goldman:
Marion, I want to punch you in the face with a rainbow.

Is that good or bad?

OT: Entertaining read, what can't cargo pants do.

Soooooo does he actually steal from Gamestop? Cause I'm pretty sure that's impossible, considering they keep all their CDs behind the counter

Haha, truly a very interesting read.

Umm... I know a good defense attorney..

A funny and interesting read, especially considering that I used to work at GameStop - and yes, we kept all our games behind the counter while keeping a display box on the shelf. Hilarity sometimes ensued.

seems to me this article is a cry for help, because I can not begin to understand why she would steal MadWorld if she doesn't even have a Wii

silversun101:
I share Gil's enjoyment of watching children convince their parents to buy M-rated titles through strategies that span from pleading and guilt to outright lies. This pleasure is effectively doubled by the fact that, as an employee, I am the jagged rocks their young and bright-eyed dreams will be dashed upon. Nothing breaks up the monotony of days filled with kids trading in boxes of GBA games with the labels removed or people thinking we are a tech support hotline than single-handedly denying Gears of War 2 to 13-year-old ritalin junkie. What's best about this experience is, as a young 20-something, these kids initially look to me as friend and ally, assuming that, like some benevolent Big Brother, I will take their side in the debate. As I list reasons both true and fictional as to why their child should never be allowed to play this - nor any - mature game, I must consciously remember not to smile as the look of shock and confusion on their grubby little faces slowly gives away to that vacant stare of deep and weighted finality. It is defeat they are experiencing, pure and unadulterated; born heavy upon their shoulders to forever more drag the stars down from the heavens in their eyes to be trodden into the mud by the uncaring swine of the world.

Good life training and I am glad to be a part of it.

You seem like a really mean person.
And yet, I would pay to see that.
I would pay alot.

raunchysandwich:
seems to me this article is a cry for help, because I can not begin to understand why she would steal MadWorld if she doesn't even have a Wii

WAIT, isn't marion a man?

Did you just admit to stealing? You fucking prick.

yeah, don't steal, even if it's just a box, otherwise, your mom's a bitch

Darth_Dude:
You seem like a really mean person.
And yet, I would pay to see that.
I would pay alot.

I'm not mean, I just hate most children instinctively.

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