Zero Punctuation: Heavy Rain

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Heavy Rain

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Heavy Rain.

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WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Shampoo drinkingly bad. Quite funny good sir, quite funny indeed.

Of course it was, the game never really hid that it was anything other than that.

I felt the game was fantastic. Excellent story and beautiful characterization.

why would I want to jerk off a dog???

I'm surprised Yathzee actually like the game

I need to buy this game when I do get a good chance

I'm surprised yahtzee got through the whole review without making a joke about the shower scene. I suppose the 'stripping off at gunpoint' was still nudity related though.

LOL'd at the review, but still enjoyed the game.

I was worried the game would be about zombie super saiyans.

I can't tell if these are spoilers or not.
Guess I'll have to play it to find out!

Huh, early this week, I assume there's been a day-light saving change somewhere in the world that isn't here?
Kinda disappointed he even reviewed this to be honest, not his best. Still, Final Fantasy XIII and God Of War III soon, can't wait!

I'm surprised he went through the review without touching all the plot holes. Easily a prime opportunity for Yahtzee to do what he does best, and it was one of Heavy Rain's most damning flaws.

interesting. it seems 4rm what he is telling us is the game seems to be hapeneing mostly in real time. well thats a bit stupid. i'm suppost to twaddle around for a hour waiting for the plit to get going, then wait another 2 hours for it to get good?! Well, at least it looks good. I will probalby rent it. Yatzee does make a point about how its always the same killer. Like why do i need to know every single bit and aspect of each characters lives. is the story really going to be good enough to draw me in to want to know?

Ah, my Wednesdays are always better after ZP. Keep up the good work!

Nice review.

Would definitely be cooler if anyone could turn out to be the murderer. Would make things a little more interesting at least

I'm surprised you didn't make a "They should have rename the title of this game to 'Heavy Handed'" joke. This is great review, nonetheless.

i was kinda expecting the game to play like uncharted only with better story and not killing more ppl than jack the ripper on speed.

Can someone who has completed Heavy Rain please tell me if there's any real spoilers in this? I wanna watch it like every other week but I don't want to have it spoiled.

loved it and dont stop doing that vodo that you do so well

I agree... they should have changed the killer depending on the choices you make. Oh well... here's hoping for that in QTE game 3 from this company.

Wow, that was... concise. So I take it this game is not worth buying a PS3 for, not that I could afford it anyway.

So Yahtzee cries for his immersion in video games, then finds something else to cry about once he gets it?

Hahaha. I love it.

I feel like what you say about anyone possibly being the killer might not ring true, because the game isn't really the kind of thing I would still want to play through twice anyway. The killer's reveal made my head spin anyway. I couldn't believe it, I thought it was just some hallucination scene. So in that respect, it worked. Definately.

I can tolerate the change a baby's nappy-style scenes, but they do hinder replay for sure.

That was not a bad episode at well. Any video that takes a dig at Zodiac is in my good books, my god, I have a lot of patience but that film almost put me to sleep.

I'm interested in this game because I like adventure games, but its not out for the PC is it?

It pains me that this game came from the same studio that created Omikron: The Nomad Soul :(

Damn it, after seeing this, my idiotic friend will be more set in his opinion that Heavy Rain sucks. It did get a minor pass though, I guess I can be thankful for that.

The review was funny as always, and Yahtzee's metaphors seem to be endless.

That was pretty good. GOW 3 next?

Mr Thomsos:
So Yahtzee cries for his immersion in video games, then finds something else to cry about once he gets it?

He's a critic. That's his job.
My job is wanking castrated dogs, it is very rewarding.

By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

I'm still going to buy it... I think. I don't want the "hauntingly viceral and fucking hard to watch"-scene to give me nightmares, but I guess that's why it's called hauntingly viceral. maybe I should move out of my moms place first...

What's sad is that whether or not it's worth experiencing is irrelevant since it's a PS3 exclusive. The question is then not "Is it worth 50-60$ +tax?" but instead "Is it worth 350-360$ +tax?" the answer to which is sadly "Of fucking course not."

Oh well...

Yahtzee has this unwavering ability to scoop out the thoughts in the back of my mind and present them for the whole world to see under big, bright yellow lights, and he's done it again with this review.

I remember having the a similar argument with a friend, that is, while both games rely heavily on QTE's, at least Indigo Prophecy has the decency to start the player out "in medias res" with a mysterious murder; Heavy Rain starts the game by making you press X to shake a bottle of fucking orange juice.

However, when Yahtzee says that Heavy Rain has "really good parts", he means they have "REALLY good parts," and, honestly, it's these parts alone that make Heavy Rain stand out among the crowd (which really isn't that hard, seeing as the crowd currently consists of only two games). Overall, comparing Indigo Prophecy to Heavy Rain is like comparing LOST to Apocalypse Now; the first might be really fun to talk about, but the second one is ultimately going to leave a bigger impression, despite any faults it may have. But that's just my two cents.

Frequen-Z:
Can someone who has completed Heavy Rain please tell me if there's any real spoilers in this? I wanna watch it like every other week but I don't want to have it spoiled.

As someone who has completed, and loved Heavy Rain, I can vouch that the only spoilers are very minor ones.

that was funny. I loved the game myself.

I'm surprised he didn't mention some of the uncanny-valley moments or the painful PAINFUL voice acting.
Oh well. I haven't played it, but I've watched someone play it, so it kind of felt like watching a 10 hour movie (25, if you're the person that was fucking playing it *eyeballs explode*)

The only reason to re-read a mystery story is if the detectives are enjoyable - Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, etc.

The bit about "trying to get some writing done" hit particularly close to home for obvious reasons.

It does sound like Heavy Rain balances the banality of simulating everyday life with some truly memorable or even ground-breaking sequences, but it sounds like the balance is a bit off, like a single chocolate chip baked into a bland cookie half a mile in diameter.

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