Zero Punctuation: Heavy Rain

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My favorite part of the game: "Press X to Jason".

Frequen-Z:
Can someone who has completed Heavy Rain please tell me if there's any real spoilers in this? I wanna watch it like every other week but I don't want to have it spoiled.

No major spoilers, several minor which you should know already if you watched any trailer.

Paradill:

Mr Thomsos:
So Yahtzee cries for his immersion in video games, then finds something else to cry about once he gets it?

He's a critic. That's his job.
My job is wanking castrated dogs, it is very rewarding.

I was wondering about those well-toned wrists...

OUCH!

Ah well, wasn't all that interested in playing it anyways. The models are severely 'Uncanny Valley' -like, and it just didn't look that interesting. Now I find out that it's basically The Sims but you have more of a direct control over your character.

BORING.

Well who didn't see that one comin, but honestly can't we commend the game for being original and fresh instead of a button mashing bloodfest with leveling up and banging the princess in the end. Heavy rain was a great game but either you like it or you hate it....

delta46:
WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Excuse me? At what point did Yahtzee actually describe the game as such?

Arse nipples! I was hoping you wouldn't review this. I love Heavy Rain.

I knew he'd go against the game for being a bunch of QTE's but he didn't call it Quick Time Events: the game and i'm quite surprised

why would he review GOW 3 theres nothing to bash about that game....

A1:

delta46:
WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Excuse me? At what point did Yahtzee actually describe the game as such?

I believe it's the part where he says the QTE's are the core, skin, seed and whole fucking apple tree of the game.

But that's because I payed attention.

yeah theres only 28 endings to see.....

exactly the review I expected. Remember his Fable Review where he knew everything was going to go to shit because everything was so perfect before the entire village is annhiliated? Yeah. Duh.

gah, It's exactly like a book. (Must introduce characters through boringbullshit and wait fr freakin' ever for anything to be interesting)

Strange I thought Yahtzee would love Heavy Rain, one big long QTE, isn't that just his thing? The fact that he said anything nice about it (flowers in the poo) actually surprised me a bit.

Killing Kids. ROFL

Huh, good point about the killer changing thing. It would add a nice bit to the story if everyone was given a motive and then the revelation just goes the extra mile, sort of like what happened in the movie that got Kevin Spacey his Academy Award for Best Actor (I'm being vague to avoid spoilers because I hate using tags).

Was it just me, or did zero seem 2 be talking more slowly than usual?

Could this possibly be the beginning of the end?? Has our last honest and opinionated rater of games been tamed by either a) the game companies who want good reviews or b) has he finally started giving a shit about fans who can't understand how awesomely fast he talks?

I also noticed a distinct lack of hilarious metaphors and similes I've come to know and love zero for.

I totally agree about changing the killer's identity. I figured that was a common sense choice, so when I ignored spoilers thinking it would only reveal one line, I was sorely disappointed to find out I had the entire game spoiled.

Also, WOOT, Scott Bakula!

Mertruve:
By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

Pointing towards Jim Sterling's review of Heavy Rain? Tsk-tsk... I would've preferred you point towards his spoilerrific teardown of the big reveal.

i guess he didnt get to the sex mini game

Mertruve:
By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

Actually, if you fail a trial, you don't get a clue as to the whereabouts of you son. So no, the scenario is not just cleared if you fail. Just saying.

Also, to the people complaining about plot holes, use your damn head and think about it. There are no big plot holes.

Another thing, Yahtzee complains about the lack of incentive to replay. There are several different endings to get, and the story pans out differently, which was enough to make me want to replay it.

actually depending on what kind of games you like this game is def. worth buying

Hehe...I liked the opening. Its unlike any game really that you can review...

Although, still, I liked it...it certainly seems accurate to what I played XD

Hmm, I didn't think he'd do this one since it can't technically be called a game but nice job anyway.

Mertruve:
By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

Actually, if you fail a trial, you don't get a clue as to the whereabouts of you son. So no, the scenario is not just cleared if you fail. Just saying.

Also, to the people complaining about plot holes, use your damn head and think about it. There are no big plot holes.

Another thing, Yahtzee complains about the lack of incentive to replay. There are several different endings to get, and the story pans out differently, which was enough to make me want to replay it.

Well, I was expecting it to be a lot more harsh than this, what with all the quick time events being the entire game. I've played fahrenheit, and that just went bananas too. Looks like I'll be checking it out when it's cheap then.

I don't really see the appeal of wanting a different killer though, that'd sort of cheapen the whole thing for me, if it was arbitrary. Like when I was younger and read those choose your own adventure books, how does opening the door or not change what the hell is on the other side?
Here's a hint: IT DOESN'T.

Liked the review....loved the game. There was so much more that he could have pointed out and his one message about the murderer remianing the same was something I wanted to test in my second playthrough.

Oh wow, I had a lot of trouble trying to load the video XD But it was all worthy, this one was another great review. I was sure Yahtzee wouldn't like it, but in the end he kind of did, which was surprising!

But really, putting a dick joke at the end of the video is getting old.

So it would seem that Yahtzee ultimately has mixed feelings about Heavy Rain.

I can't really say I'm surprised by his complaints with regard to the first 1-3 hours of the game. He has openly admitted that he doesn't have much patience and that he's one of those instant gratification guys. Or in other words exactly the kind of person who shouldn't be playing a game like this. But of course this does make the positive things he has to say about the game all the more pleasantly surprising.

Nevertheless I still have one complaint about this review and it's pretty much the same one I have with regard to his Bayonetta review. He never actually addresses the question of whether the game is good or not.

And the replay value of the game doesn't exist with the mystery obviously. It's there if you want to try and make different choices and see how said choices affect the story.

And the quick time action sequences do constitute choices. One could choose to deliberately screw them up just to see what happens. So they are in fact choices, just not conventional ones. Which is just as well because there's very little about this game that IS conventional.

D4zZ:
I can't tell if these are spoilers or not.
Guess I'll have to play it to find out!

Yes some of them are, and one or two of them are some he should have left his mouth shut for.

OT: I can't help but feel that this will be an open invitation for; People who haven't played the game to act like morons and not play it, and people who have played the game to stupidly hate it.

Yes I know YZ is a critic, and it's his job to hate the game, but some people are just so phenomenally stupid that they'll take his reviews seriously.
The game is flawed, but it has a Prince of Persia effect it you will. Although it's not a "game" per say, it still gets so close to perfection that all of it's flaws get more, and more glaring.

Oh! For people who will bitch that it's not a "game," if you think about it neither is Rock Band.

Heh, quite good review.

I loved the game through and through. I love the concept of multiple Heroes discovering the plot on their own, so when I heard about it, I knew I will like it. If the first few chapters have to be slow to let us get a connection with the Heroes, then so be it. I have no problems with that.

Oh, and I think that argument about pointlessness of replaying the game if the killer is the same is flawed, especially considering WHO turned out to be the killer.

yeah theres only 28 endings to see.....

Well... 17 epilogues to be specific. They differ based on other epilogues (who died, who survived, etc.), but I wouldn't count it as definitive 'new' epilogue. Still, that's a lot, and the I had a lot of fun getting all of them.

Thankyou so very much, exactly what I was thinking. I'm going to buy a ps3, hide my eyes for the first half and then open them when it gets good, thank God I don't have to make this opinion for myself.

Wooo Hartlepool! I dont live there, but i live damn close!
Anyway, great episode, i lol'd all the way through, but the Apple tree gag made me cry for soem reason..

The identity of the killer has already been spoiled to me so I agree with Yahtzee that theres basically no point for me in playing.

Mr Thomsos:
So Yahtzee cries for his immersion in video games, then finds something else to cry about once he gets it?

I think he was trying to say that the game tried TOO hard. Making your character even do the most mundane things can get boring. It's hard to be immersed in a game if you're bored.

JaredXE:

A1:

delta46:
WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Excuse me? At what point did Yahtzee actually describe the game as such?

I believe it's the part where he says the QTE's are the core, skin, seed and whole fucking apple tree of the game.

But that's because I payed attention.

I payed attention to that too. He never uses the words "a big quicktime event".

And sorry if I come off as rude but it seems that you're just using your own preconceived idea as an interpretation of Yahtzee's words. One could just as easily say that Yahtzee means that QTEs are a very essential part of the game. This would seem to be an especially valid interpretation in light of the fact that he also indicates that QTE's are not the only part of the game.

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