Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 11

Ok, Shamus. I just need you to know that your poems at the end of these make me laugh until my stomach hurts.

Thank you for being hilarious.

lmao, the hilarious!

It was great with the MG ref =P

And poor Lulzy, having to run around so much XD

I still haven't finished the Pie Quest. There are some things that my mind is not prepared to put up with.

But Nosey/Hungry Hobbits are the LotRo equivalent of blue shells, I was looking forward to the Scouring of the Shires after it.

So much like the Ringwraiths are drawn to the One Ring, hungry hobbits are drawn to delivery quest Pies? You should propably go and check if the baker uses some kind of Hellforge (or Helloven) to produce these pastries. You might not want to consort with powers such as that. Alternatively, you could propably make some pretty mean interrogation-pies in the Helloven.

Just like the Champions Online "Lets Play", your articles always make me want to both play and avoid the game in equal measure.

Great, now I'll have nightmares of Snake delivering pies and shooting orcs with a rifle *shudder

Haha I loved the poem.

Awesome as always

Maybe the pies would be easier to deliver if they gave you a speed boost. I'm sure there are some berries that would accomplish this. Then again, it would require you to eat the pie you're delivering.

Lulzy? Lulzy?! LULZYYYYYYYYYY!!

Oh come on, someone had to do it.

Maby they use her pies for interrogation because they are bad...........?

Still makes no sense.

wait, wait wait...she had you do a RECALL on the pies? The hide and seek I can forgive you for, but I guess next time i'll find out how you get the pies back.

DeAvatar:
wait, wait wait...she had you do a RECALL on the pies? The hide and seek I can forgive you for, but I guess next time i'll find out how you get the pies back.

And yet somehow, I'll bet you've got to avoid the hungry hobbits again, despite the fact that giving them the bad pies and thus making them never hunger for them again is apparently what Baron Hornblower of Smallbridge-the-Pies-Go-Over wants.

That one hungry hobbit is very annoying.. no hiding that fact. :)

I gave up on ever using that bridge when on pie-runs; I always use the other one over by Bywater. And I've delivered and retrieved more pies on more alts then any sane person should have to deal with.

And yes, the pies give you a speed boost. The tool-tip for which, iirc, is "Hot pies! Coming through!"

You know, Lulzy should really swing by Sanderson's farm and do the egg-delivery quests too - and the chicken play quests while she's there anyway. Mwahahaha. Mwahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAH!

*Cough*

Sorry :)

Oh! Yes! CHICKEN PLAY! You really should do the chicken quests. :)

"Someday we're going to need to talk about these trust issues you keep having." I think that's my favourite category of joke in these articles: the kind where you dare the reader not to believe that the game is really doing something as crazy as you claim, then show us the screenshot where it's *really doing it*. Well done!

And thus, why I always go to Combe for starting quests.

As amusing as the tale of Lulzy has been so far, I think a normal person would have just said "Fuck it all" by now and either tried a more likely battle-oriented race (dwarves are probably tasked with goblin decapitation, not feeding prisoners) or dropped the game altogether. Some hobbits seem to have a thing for unyeilding dedication to truly miserable tasks...

No wonder the Hobbits never leave their homes... half their lives are spent ambushing each other for mail and pies!

Another hilarious read.

I chose to play as a hobbit first, but I never ran into the pie quest. Probably because I didn't talk to every person with a ring over their heads. My main goal when I started was to gain money to get better gear, to make the story quests easier.
But since the quests(because of how long they take)don't give enough money, I usually skipped most quests and just went out and killed whatever moved and sold what I found (I learned that killing poor defenseless deer, foxes, and squirrels gets you nothing), which proved to be way more fun and lucrative then doing quests.

Being able to buy dye definitely makes things look better. Also, as Shamus has mention before, being able to customize your outfit, without messing with the gear that gives you the best stats, is very nice. With LotRO, you get your normal stat clothing gear spot, and two customizable outfit spots.
For my hobbit guardian, I choose to color all my clothes and armor navy blue. I'm thinking of doing a green style for my other slot, but only when I find a good armor and clothes look other than what I have.
Here are a couple pics of my hobbit guardian, with his elf helmet and dwarf armor.

image

image

Gwhahahaha! This series cracks me up. I havn't played Lotr but this makes me want to play!

DeAvatar:
wait, wait wait...she had you do a RECALL on the pies? The hide and seek I can forgive you for, but I guess next time i'll find out how you get the pies back.

Would you believe exactly the same way...with that damn Hobbit choke point as well?

MsBarrows:
And yes, the pies give you a speed boost. The tool-tip for which, iirc, is "Hot pies! Coming through!"

I'm almost afraid to ask... is there a speed buff for when you have to reclaim the pies? And what the devil would it be called?

Galad:
Great, now I'll have nightmares of Snake delivering pies and shooting orcs with a rifle *shudder

Only Snake is a Hobbit, and he hides in a barrel and not a box. And he goes down a stream inside of one.

Oh wait...

The_root_of_all_evil:

DeAvatar:
wait, wait wait...she had you do a RECALL on the pies? The hide and seek I can forgive you for, but I guess next time i'll find out how you get the pies back.

Would you believe exactly the same way...with that damn Hobbit choke point as well?

No, just. . .No.

Meghan_Rodberg:
Oh! Yes! CHICKEN PLAY! You really should do the chicken quests. :)

I have to say, playing as a chicken was cute and funny, for about five minutes, but after that it was just ridiculous.
After I did the talk to the animals in the Shire, decided for the heck of it I was going to do the talk to the animals in Bree-land thing. Yeeeah, I spent about 40 minutes doing that mission and then right as I was almost to the last animal, I got stung by a stupid great-sick-fly and died. Now that of course means I have to try that again and take another 40+ minutes of my life away. Nope, I've decided not to do those missions again, especially when someone in-game suggested that I should take an escort.

Seriously, I'm not going to be asking around to form a fellowship of the chicken.

Though I did have fun making screen shots.

Frendoc the chicken has come to Bree-town, time to party!
image

I am...Frendoc Fire Chicken!!!
image

"Otacon... Is there a way around these hungry hobbits?"

The pie and mail quests are the bane of my lotro existance. I've only done them on one toon because I was crazy and decided to do every deed with one of my toons. Now I have a hobbit guardian who actually needs those virtues but I can't bring myself to go back there and do them.

As others have suggested, you really should try the chicken play quests. They're great fun. Though when it's time for the run to Rivendell you should keep an eye out for any escorted chicken runs happening on your server. It's quite difficult to complete without an escort.

The pie and mail quests grant you a trait boost for completion so they are worth doing given they're the only non-combat yet quest driven traits. If you work other quests around it you can often use it as a fast way to level up, doing side quests along the way and the choke point really isn't that bad. The alternative bridge is just a litle ways down the river and there is plenty of time to reach your goal without running into hungry or nosey hobbits. The choke point can even be avoided if you wait until the hobbit is pathed far to the right as you can get through it and save a chunk of time running down the river. Overall it's pretty straight forward, but that wouldn't be as funny as Lulzy's version of the game.

For those who say it makes you want to play and avoid in equal measure I'd say bear in mind that this is a comedy serial not a critical appraisal. The game isn't perfect but these kinds of missions are what make it unique in my eyes. Shame she didn't do the pie crust as that had me in stitches the first time I did it. Basically a hungry hobbit ate his wife's pie and asks you to make a pie crust so he can replace it (pie CRUST not pie for some odd reason) but when you return it to him he eats that as well so asks you to make another. Tickled me. :)

Hmm, on page two of the Hide and Seek, I have a question. Was it Odo, the hobbit on the roof, who paid the reward for the quest? Or was it Rollo, the quest giver? You spoke of going back to Odo to turn in the quest.

Sorry, I know that probably seems ridiculous to ask. I just was just curious.

Saint Psycho:
Hmm, on page two of the Hide and Seek, I have a question. Was it Odo, the hobbit on the roof, who paid the reward for the quest? Or was it Rollo, the quest giver? You spoke of going back to Odo to turn in the quest.

Sorry, I know that probably seems ridiculous to ask. I just was just curious.

Yeah, Rollo had the final step of the quest. The entire quest is basically "click on Odo and come back". :)

Of course you can't put the pie in your pocket, it'd get all smushed! Whereas the buckets of water might spill and get you wet, but until you're visiting Mordor, there's water everywhere. And it's not like you can smush a bucket, can you?

Keep on trucking, Shamus. This has become my new favorite thing on this website.

I...would have just abandoned the pie quest right then and there loll

 

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