Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 . . . 35 NEXT
 

Well another review, though i don't think anyone was expecting Final Fantesy 13 to be you know, good. Your right in that its all been done before. Those blokes and Square need to lets the good damn series die.

Suskie:
OKAY, SO. The chocobo in Sazh's afro. Can we all agree to start calling it "frocobo"? Yes?

I've referred to his Afro itself as the "Choco-fro"

Also, my friend continues to tell me to play this, despite how on numerous occasions, I have ranted to him of my hatred of most JRPGs that take themselves seriously, my hatred of turn-based combat, and my hatred of Final Fantasy.

Was anyone realise surprised he'd give this a negative review? Really?

On the side, I was pleasantly surprised he gave a well deserved shout out to FF VI.

I can see where Yahtzee's coming from, unfortunately. At least for every Final Fantasy I've played and beaten (VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, X-2 and XII), it didn't take 20 hours for the story to come around and introduce itself. I'm on hour 12, and the only way I'm getting through this is that I can hear voices coming from the end of the tunnel, and I'm hoping they'll point me in the direction of the story.

Lightning at least makes the game bearable. My face lit up when she decided to play rock-em sock-em robots with Snow's face. :D

FINALLY! FINALLY! Someone has told the truth! Final Fantasy 6 IS INDEED the last Final Fantasy game to actually be fun. Shut the fuck up with your stupid FF7 stories. The game is overrated crap and is more hype than substance. FF6 was brilliant, FF7 was not. The end.

Carnagath:
I do not get everyone's hatred of the story. Seriously, it's a dual, completely fictional world, you can not even begin to explain it all in "weaved" form in a video game. That's why that Datalog is there. If you don't understand what a l'Cie is, and you see that it's something critical that is repeated a lot, TAKE 20 SECONDS OF YOUR TIME and look up the 8 LINES OF TEXT in the datalog that explain it. It's pretty simple. Hell, it was EXACTLY the same in Mass Effect 1, and noone whined like a bitch there, did they? No, cause that one's sacred Bioware and we all sat our asses down and read up on the lore and journals for hours and hours and then came back to say "that was a good game". Fucking ridiculous.

I actually agree with you. I thought the Datalog was a great addition. Especially since a lot of the time, there was information in there that wasn't said in cut-scenes. It was nice to be able to learn a little more through the Datalog.

Ohh, and I would have to go through it anyway lol, I can't stand those little icons blinking at me...

Yahtzee doesn't like a Final Fantasy game?

Apocalypse! Ragnorok! Armageddon!

I kid, really, he makes good points. I still enjoy the game but I was definitely more into twelve than this one.

And it is now indisputable fact that Final Fantasy 6 (or 3 in the U.S.) is the greatest and best Final Fantasy game of all time forever.

And if you disagree, Yahtzee will personally come to your home and punch you in the stomach while you're brushing your teeth.

Yes! Thank you Yahtzee for saying what was on my mind the whole time! I admit I'm a fan of most JRPGs, and yes even FF. But XIII was crap! I honestly agreed with every point he made on how bad the game was, and worse still because I'm a Fan of FF, I feel like SquareEnix betrayed me somehow >.<

Just wanna say thank you Yahtzee, for letting the truth shine past all the other reviews which I honestly thought were bullshit.

heh, thought i was the only one that liked final fantasy 6

Yeah, what can you expect when Yahtzee is reviewing the JRPG-iest of the JRPGs? I love JRPGs and I'm not even going to bother with this one, because I tried to play FF12 on the PS2 and after about 15 hours I ran into this bitch flower dragon which kicked my ass six ways to sunday. I was going to grind up some levels and smack it down, but as I checked my character's levels to decide who to grind I realized I had forgotton who most of them were. Then I realized I had no idea where I was going. THEN I realized that I had no idea why I was going anywhere. THEN then I realized I had no idea why I was still playing this game, and gave it back to Gamestop along with a healthy chunk of my dignity.

So, in conclusion, I agree with Yahtzee wholeheartedly on this one, because as much as I loved Kingdom Hearts and the .Hack saga, the Final Fantasy games are just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULL.

Really this video felt like yahtzee was just going for a quick laugh video to keep devoting himself to other projects (something that is becoming curiously frecuent in XP as well) . You might've as well not played the game at all and the exact same video would have been made. I understand these kind of games require a particular kind of player to enjoy and he most certainly isn't it, but you really can't hope to give a game a chance to surprise you unless you're willing to at least try get in the right mindset for it.
I liked FFVII although my favorite remains to be FFV (nostalgia may have something to do with that though), but by now we should know what kind of beast we're dealing with, shouldn't we?

Mirroga:

stok3r:

Commissar Fuklaw:

stok3r:

JakeX:

stok3r:

JakeX:
Well theres bits i do agree with and bits i dont agree with.
And i hardly call it a fair review of playing 5 hours of it. (Yes he was busy and all that blah i know )

I mean if they guy can play through Heavy Rain then he should pull up his big boy trousers and stop whining about the old days! Its modern day, things need to change and hey at least Square have tried!.........though they have lost their way when they merged with Enix.

Dude.. Enix is like the best company, mainly for their Star Ocean games, and I like the combo, you know, X-2 and shit. EH.

Meh if you like those games, thats fine with me.
Just merely pointing out how the level of awesome dropped when that merge happened. Think about it ;)

In terms of FF, yeah maybe, but in general older games tend to be better than new ones. Also there were alot more FFs before the merge than after.

But still, FFVIII is one of the best, so your right in that respect lol

But still, FFVIII is one of the best

wat

You heard me. Final Fantasy VIII. Is one of the Best. Final Fantasys

Actually, two reasons that makes FF8 NOT the best FF is because:
1. The story or the romance in the story is unnecessary and very awkward
2. Out of all the combat systems, FF8 was the most unfriendly of them all. They didn't even state facts that junctioning magic is necessary and you need 100 of those magic to junction.

Okay, on my first way through (I only got up to disc 3 the first time), it was a bit confusing, but, to me at least, it all makes sence. You just have to pay attention and stuff. And I'm pretty sure it does tell you all about junctioning, so maybe you just didn't get it.

I dunno what your favourite is, but at least its not as dumb as XII's collecting Gambits to make the AI smarter, you know, to make it do what its supposed to do. EG, i have to manually revive teammates cause I don't have the Ally --> KO or HP = 0 Gambit or whatever it is (should be noted that I'm not raging on the game, I still love it to death)

JakeX:

With FFVIII i think we have established a point of agreement :D
Respect to you mate.

Finally, someone who loves it as much as me! haha

*awkward hug*

tellmeimaninja:

Suskie:
OKAY, SO. The chocobo in Sazh's afro. Can we all agree to start calling it "frocobo"? Yes?

I've referred to his Afro itself as the "Choco-fro"

Also, my friend continues to tell me to play this, despite how on numerous occasions, I have ranted to him of my hatred of most JRPGs that take themselves seriously, my hatred of turn-based combat, and my hatred of Final Fantasy.

Yeah, someone else already brought up "chocofro" and I think it's a good compromise. The frocobo lives in the chocofro.

And you bring up a good point: This game seems to be isolating a lot of people. A lot of JRPG fans are dissing XIII for removing so many familiar elements they look for in the genre, while people who typically hate JRPGs bash XIII for all of the typical reasons. Doesn't seem like this game is appealing to a lot of people. I kinda liked it, but then I also acknowledge that there isn't much to it. Thankfully, I enjoyed the combat, which is integral to enjoying the game as a whole.

I agree. Never really played the FF games before 7, then they dropped into shithood with 10 and I left the series. Got 13 because someone told me it was good, but the combat is not "inovative" as people have tried to defend it, it's boring and unenjoyable. The story is poor and 10 hours in I've barely worked out what's going on, and the only reason I have some brief knowledge of events is by reading through the datalog and wikipedia, which is not how game stories are meant to be presented. It doesn't draw you in, it's boring and I'm not enjoying it at all.

While we're at the subject of JRPGs, when will there be a game about time travel which has a compelling tale about each era in which doing actions from the past affects the present/future greatly (aka Chrono Cross). I was really compelled by some backstory of the characters because you specifically time travel to their childhood and know their inner motivations.

When will there ever be a current gen JRPG game that can top CC's story or plot? Only thing that needs changing in that game for current gen is to update the gameplay into something interesting and fun(maybe like Valkyrie Profile's).

That was a really funny review. I actually like quite a few JRPGs a lot, but I definitely agree that FFXIII has serious problems and I really do wish that more JRPGs would at least try to care about consistency between combat and story sequences. I also wish that the overcomplicated menus would stay in SRPGs where they belong.

Glad to hear that the bar is doing well.

blackshark121:
No surprise there.

Personally, I think that Yahtzee has to put his prejudice behind him and listen to the characters, because everything that is described in the datalog is told to us in the cinematics. Also, the story is NOT going to make sense in 5 hours. The characters need the 20 to become likeable as you see their personalities unfold.

I can understand that Yahtzee likes jumping right into the action, not listening to a semi-complex drama.

What? No one should need 20 hours to make the characters likeable. I'm with you on the complex story, because unlike Yahtzee I don't like games where the story can fit on a rainbow, but still, characters should be likeable ASAP. Even FF12 managed to do this; I loved Balthier within the first 5 minutes of meeting him. Of course, I hated everyone else, but still, Balthier rocks!

I've pretty much hated every major FF since 9 - Essentially the PS2 era onwards. It's become more and more about spectacle and less about story and likeable characters that I'll actually give a shit about. You know things are bad when there's a 30 second intro to every random encounter. Why? Less than 5 seconds is all it takes - warp in, let me see what i'm killing, let me do it. Since you're going to make me grind my arse off I'd like it to be done quick as possible. Though I'm afraid this is a staple of most recent JRPG's..

Great review, this is my first post but I've been reading/watching for ages and it didn't dissapoint.

Damn... not bad Yahtzee, but i thought you will review S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Call of Pripyat. Have you forgotten?

Yeah FF7 did suck pretty haardcore

Mirroga:

stok3r:

Commissar Fuklaw:

stok3r:

JakeX:

stok3r:

JakeX:
Well theres bits i do agree with and bits i dont agree with.
And i hardly call it a fair review of playing 5 hours of it. (Yes he was busy and all that blah i know )

I mean if they guy can play through Heavy Rain then he should pull up his big boy trousers and stop whining about the old days! Its modern day, things need to change and hey at least Square have tried!.........though they have lost their way when they merged with Enix.

Dude.. Enix is like the best company, mainly for their Star Ocean games, and I like the combo, you know, X-2 and shit. EH.

Meh if you like those games, thats fine with me.
Just merely pointing out how the level of awesome dropped when that merge happened. Think about it ;)

In terms of FF, yeah maybe, but in general older games tend to be better than new ones. Also there were alot more FFs before the merge than after.

But still, FFVIII is one of the best, so your right in that respect lol

But still, FFVIII is one of the best

wat

You heard me. Final Fantasy VIII. Is one of the Best. Final Fantasys

Actually, two reasons that makes FF8 NOT the best FF is because:
1. The story or the romance in the story is unnecessary and very awkward
2. Out of all the combat systems, FF8 was the most unfriendly of them all. They didn't even state facts that junctioning magic is necessary and you need 100 of those magic to junction.

Can I just say...

Spoony...

J-Alfred:

blackshark121:
No surprise there.

Personally, I think that Yahtzee has to put his prejudice behind him and listen to the characters, because everything that is described in the datalog is told to us in the cinematics. Also, the story is NOT going to make sense in 5 hours. The characters need the 20 to become likeable as you see their personalities unfold.

I can understand that Yahtzee likes jumping right into the action, not listening to a semi-complex drama.

What? No one should need 20 hours to make the characters likeable. I'm with you on the complex story, because unlike Yahtzee I don't like games where the story can fit on a rainbow, but still, characters should be likeable ASAP. Even FF12 managed to do this; I loved Balthier within the first 5 minutes of meeting him. Of course, I hated everyone else, but still, Balthier rocks!

I thought Sazh was pretty likable right at the start.

shadowstriker86:
heh, thought i was the only one that liked final fantasy 6

Nope it was one of the best.

One of the reasons FFVII is so loved along with 6 is the fact 7 is pretty much the same story just with upgraded graphics and the obvious tweaks and changes.

XIII is boring me to tears. 20+ hours in and its still linear gameplay. The most freedom you get is when the road gives you two paths instead of one.

That's a funny coincidence I also liked FFVI, but really the "It gets good after 10 hours" crowd can just go have fun after 10 hours without me in FFXIII.

Was a bit Surprised though at this review had sorta expected Just Cause 2, Metro 2033 or Yakuza 3. I know Yakuza 3 is also a JRPG but at least it has No Turn Based Combat, Gets good from the get go and has some seriously hilarious side missions.

Great review, biased as hell just like it should be.

Meanwhile the "It gets good after 10 hours" crowd, I will be playing the ton of other games that become fun after you press the New Game Button.

Bloody Hell, now I kind did not want to have your job. 5 hours of Final Fantasy XIII! I'd rather clean up the sewer system of any city than have to stand that 5 hours of yours.
Kind of thinking CIA should put terrorist to play final fantasy series, that would be punishment.

I usually take Yahtzee's videos with a heaping spoonful of salt, but I have to admit, he has a great point about the lack of player control over the combat system.

As intuitive as the Paradigm system is (yeah, I like it. It's like changing job classes in the middle of a battle. Cool!), no respectable RPG should force you to rely on slow-to-react AI controlled partners for the entire game. Seriously. There's no excuse.

Half the time when I'm getting smushed by a boss, I can't help but think, "This wouldn't be happening if I could control my entire party, thus giving them a reaction time faster than 30 seconds."

You'd like golden sun judging by your rant on JRPGs as a whole

There is a DS one coming out soon...

GLORIOUS!
back to the good stuff yahtzee
im glad to see that he could also appreciate pre-7 FF, sadly, we wont ever get that kind of game again.

"Shut up I am!" WIN right off the bat, that's mah Yahtzee! :D

I'm surprised he actually managed to get 5 hours in on that game, I didn't even bother to get in the car, go to the store, ask for a copy and purchase it.

Instead I got in the car, went to the store, asked for a copy of Resonance of Fate, and purchased THAT.

And based on everything I hear about FFXIII, even the non-hateful comments, I think I made the right choice. At least in Resonance of Fate, I'm actually in control of all of the 'spectacular' acrobatic moves/attacks and not just watching them.

As I always say, if a Final Fantasy game has more than one digit in it's sequential number then it's not necessary or noteworthy... except for that one with a particular ODD Number that comes between six and eight. That one can fuck right off.

I'm enjoying 13 immensely but unlike some fans I have a sense of humor :). This was awesome. And goddamn Vanille is pretty kooky isn't she? I thought it was just me. She's batshit crazy!

I agree with Yahtzee, I find myself dreading trying to finish it because it's so lame, but then I did pay good money for it and I've invested 30hrs... I know I'm close now.

But honestly, this WILL be the first game I've ever traded in. Ever. It does not deserve to be in my collection.

Yeah, I daresay that was inevitable.

Hasn't diminished my interest in the game at all, but at least the review was funny.

stok3r:

Okay, on my first way through (I only got up to disc 3 the first time), it was a bit confusing, but, to me at least, it all makes sence. You just have to pay attention and stuff. And I'm pretty sure it does tell you all about junctioning, so maybe you just didn't get it.

I dunno what your favourite is, but at least its not as dumb as XII's collecting Gambits to make the AI smarter, you know, to make it do what its supposed to do. EG, i have to manually revive teammates cause I don't have the Ally --> KO or HP = 0 Gambit or whatever it is (should be noted that I'm not raging on the game, I still love it to death)

Well, considering I actually started at FF8 where FF experimented on different gameplay styles, and the fact that my gamer's tastes have evolved, I didn't like much any of the newer FFs' storytelling. Also none of the newer gameplay styles have warmed up to me as to what game style I'd love on an JRPG:
FF7 - Slow-turned based style (Loved it before, but now, not so much)
FF8 - Only fun if you actually learned the whole deal of the gameplay in 1 single battle tutorial
FF9 - Back to old FF, but too old to actually like it in its present gen
FF10 - Oh god. Why do I have to play as these pricks, besides Auron?
FF12 - Gambit system = MMORPG style = lie on couch moving the joystick while the game does the combat for you

In conclusion, none of the FFs today has warmed me to the series in this present age. I still consider Chrono Cross as the best JRPG story I ever encountered, and Valkyrie Profile 1 or 2 as the best JRPG gameplay I experienced.

Tehlanna TPX:
I'm enjoying 13 immensely but unlike some fans I have a sense of humor :). This was awesome. And goddamn Vanille is pretty kooky isn't she? I thought it was just me. She's batshit crazy!

There's actually a reason why she's batshit crazy and acts so kooky.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 . . . 35 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here