Escape to the Movies: Clash of the Titans

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Well, the problem with Greek mythology is that people get ushered around by fate, and they get beaten back into place if they try to defy it.

Yeah, this was merely okay, so yeah. Thanks for the review as always.

one nitpick: that doesn't sound like militant atheism, it sounds like militant gnosticism. Atheism is believing the gods do not exist, gnosticism is believing that gods exist but that they are at best imperfect and at worst tyrannical dicks who do not deserve worship.

Geh...really getting tired of the industry trying to crowbar 3D into our collective mediaverses.
It's only great if the whole damn movie was more or less made to focus on that as some kind of visual central pillar.

That said, sounds like my type of movie.
Didn't think much of any human drama going on in this movie, so really I'm just in it for the mindblowing CGI special effects and action scenes.
Plus, the absence of awkward teen romance's gotta be a plus if you wanna bring up Transformers.

I yearn for the day Hollywood freakin STOPS milking Greel mythology for lousy action movies, pretty, but pointless.

Seeing the Kraken in this remake almost reminds me of the CloverField monster.
At least the face does.

arrrrggghhh!!

Why oh why didn't you rip this movie to shreds? I was expecting transformers 2 all over again >_>

I saw it earlier today and it was one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life. Sam Worthington was awful and wooden, all the dialogue and non-action scenes were seriously dull and useless and the action scenes themselves were pretty, yes, but really meh; I've seen plenty of crap action films with better action scenes than these. Nearly every scene seems to come out of nowhere and disappear leaving you wondering what the point is. Like the ridiculous Io seduction scene thing. The hell did that come from? And how does Percius learn to wield a sword so well in all of 45 seconds? I didn't even notice the whole militant atheism theme because I just didn't care. Nothing in the film was engaging or exciting at all.

And almost everything is killed or otherwise disposed of waaaaaay too easily because most of the duels are far too short (Percius and the man-monster guy after medusa) or non-existant (the kraken, where he's much more busy chasing harpies or imps or whatever they are).

I haven't seen the original so maybe that's effected my opinion, but surely that should make me like it more if anything? It sure as hell doesn't stand on it's own merits anyway.

I'm totally going to watch this movie this weekend. I loves the original when I was a kid, hopefully I'll love this one too.

So... You're not doing How to Train Your Dragon? I was kind of hoping to hear your opinions on Dreamworks.

Good review, I look forward to seeing this movie.
Mostly because I have a thing for Greek Mythology and desire to see it smashing the hell out of itself.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians was a...I won't say better, but definitely more well-written movie. Chris Columbus is a master of doing fairly capable book adaptations.

And I think Percy could actually beat Perseus if Perseus didn't have his bad-writing powers.

I don't know what anyone else thinks, but between movie bob and metacritic I'm just not wanting to watch as many movies anymore. I mean I really like movie bobs reviews, they're informative and you can tell he knows his shiz but especially with a review like this (where the film seems a resounding "meh") I end up feeling, "hmm naaa i don't think I'll bother" whereas before I'd probably go see it to make up my own opinion. Same goes for metacritics score for stuff, which can put me off something i end up finding out i like enough to warrant giving it a look.

I think I'll start to ignore reviews.

Just saw it in 3D. I expected it to be bad, but in a good way -yet this surpassed my expectations of awfulness. The 3D actually FEELS like it was a last minute decision - it's flat and weird, it goes wonky and wrong in some scenes, and it looks. . .well, bad. Choppy, short, and nonsensical scenes barely string together a very, VERY loose "narrative." Decisions don't matter, characters don't matter, there is NO depth to any of the people in this film, and no effort is made to make the audience feel connected to the people on screen.

At one point, Perseus is in a lush forest. Then (presumably because someone thought it would look cool) he falls down an enormous, steep hill that was simply not there a few seconds before. He stands up in the desert, with no sign of the forest he was just in. The whole movie is like this - it's like someone just listed things they thought were cool and then filmed them in the order they thought of them. It's a big, big mess.

And just to reenforce a point that was made elsewhere - there's nothing in this film that hasn't been done in videogame cutscenes, and better. Bottom line: save your money for Hot Tub Time Machine, where your laughter will not be angry, desperate, and bitter at the cash you just dumped for this turkey.

think i rather see how to train your dragon again. You know cause I like story.

MovieBob could not be more right about this movie. It's fun at times and the in between parts aren't so much bad as underdeveloped. Matinee movie of the week for me really.

Clash of the Titans was so good! Me and my bro around christmas time, saw a preview for it and we made a joke about it because at the end of it, zues says "Release the cracken". So we make a joke about it and call it the cracker movie. When we saw and early release of it about 2 days ago. Our mindset changed completely about how awesome it was. This is a MUST see movie. Go see it!

I agree entirely with this review, save for the fact that I was a huge fan of the original, more so than Movie Bob it would seem. Therefore, this remake lets me down a lot. Sad face.

One great reason why this remake was better than the original. Liam Neeson as Zeus, thats it, thats all I need to like it more.

Edit: Also I'm suprised you didn't mention the Robot Owl cameo, that was really funny.

malestrithe:
Huh, I would not have seen the movie as militant Atheism, but more like a God of War rip off.

gow rip off? xD
keep in mind that this is a remake of a 1981 movie!
and just because they bouth are in greek mythology dosn`t mean it is a rip off!!!
As mutch as i love GOW if anything gow copyed this! =P

How can it be militant Atheist?. Atheist is not believing in the concept of GOD. And NOT be or agains or hate GOD. By fuck sake learn some basic logic.

Militant atheists would be someone agains the peoples forcing religious believes.

I would love to sit in on a game of D&D (or Hero Quest) run by Chris Hitchens. Sounds like a blast. As for the movie, I was thoroughly "meh" with a side of "oh Crom, no shaky-cam please" before. Nothing has changed. I might watch it if it ever happens to be on my TV and I can't reach the remote.

Good review. Think I'll wait until the blu ray release.
That said, I'm going to see if I can find the original on Play for some nostalgia

PayJ567:
Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

I loved the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factor, and was one of the guys saying Depp wouldn't live up to the original. But I loved it, it felt so fresh and surreal, I feel it was the better film.

Anyway, thanks for the advice, it's half term over here and I'll probably watch it soon.

teutonicman:

PayJ567:
Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

When did you see it?

Great review, Bob. I had a feeling you would more or less like the film but still prefer the original, although I honestly expected you to like the original more than you did. I guess your understanding of the power of the rose-tinted nostalgia lenses stands you in good stead as a reviewer.

Of course to me, an entire movie of CG scorpions, gorgons and kraken doesn't add up to a single scene from the original.


If you know anything about stop-motion animation, the amount of effort and detail that Ray Harryhausen put into the Medusa scene is absolutely mind-blowing. It may not look like that much today, but consider this- Medusa is a stop motion figure. The rest of the scene, including the torches, is live action. Despite this, Medusa has 100% accurate highlights and shadows cast on her by the flickering torchlight!

That is why Ray Harryhausen is the greatest genius in the history of cinema special effects. Because he fucking WORKED for his results!

Stabby Joe:
First off let me just say MovieBob, I love the fact you even mentioned other Harryhausen films and yes Jason and the Argonauts and the Seventh Voyage of Sinbad are his best!

Whoa, you think so? I always though 'Golden Voyage of Sinbad' was the best, and I'm SURE you know why. 6-armed statue fight, man! Dance, Kali, dance for me!

Pallindromemordnillap:
What I would like to know is when it became standard practise for gorgons like Medusa to be portrayed with serpentine lower-halfs instead of legs. They're not lamias or nagas. Whenever Medusa, Euryale or Stheno are portrayed they had human bodies, just with added wings and a head with tusks and snake-hair. Yet now if its a gorgon it has to be snake from the waist down as well as the hairdo

Probably because if they were portrayed with humanoid lower halfs that would, by giving them bare female legs (even if scaled), sexualise them to a level which would hamper their effectiveness as "monsters". Even if they wore skirts (which would look stupid), it would still make them too feminine and no matter how ugly they were it'd unavoidably fetishise them. Not really much of a choice there, unfortunately.

But hey, that aside, you want to see my pick for the best modern interpretation of Medusa?

PayJ567:

teutonicman:

PayJ567:
Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

When did you see it?

Opening night, 2 hours pissed away. *sigh*

Nothing really in the way of 'militant atheism' in a movie where men go to war with the gods, seen as if they were atheists they wouldn't believe in gods in the first place.

Other than that a fair review.

teutonicman:

PayJ567:

teutonicman:

PayJ567:
Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

When did you see it?

Opening night, 2 hours pissed away. *sigh*

On a scale of 1-10 how terrible is it? 1 being terrible 10 being good.

Epoetker:
Biggest reason I got into and continue to inhabit the whole Japanese anime and videogame fandom is that at least they aren't that stupid about the religions they make stories out of. There's an even chance that they'll at least have a knowledge of the nature of man, or woman, or even deity.

I totally agree that Hollywood has no understanding of religious beliefs, including atheism. Nor do they seem to understand how faith works, or reason or logic or science for that matter. Hollywood seems to think that a) any atheist will become a believer if some positive thing happens that could easily be explained by non-divine means, and b) the faith of a religious person can be easily changed or shattered by a personal tragedy or the revelation of a single piece of ambiguous evidence. Both views are frankly insulting.

But anime/manga? On the whole, they're even more ignorant of Western religious practices than Hollywood. We're talking about series where Catholic nuns regularly have love interests and Christian "sorcerers" make crosses of fire spring up from the ground. Though I must admit after decades of seeing Western culture fetishize Eastern mysticism and "real ultimate power" ninjas, seeing anime characters bemoan the "evil Christian sorcery" their enemies were using had me rolling on the floor laughing. Even the grandfather of modern manga,Osamu Tezuka, and a genuinely intelligent guy, once represented some Jewish characters going to temple similar to a Catholic Mass. (The translator had to make a note that Tezuka did this out of ignorance, not intending any cultural insensitivity.)

There are exceptions, just like you occasionally find the Hollywood movie that gets religion or atheism right. But it's not common in manga/anime by any means.

PayJ567:

teutonicman:

PayJ567:

teutonicman:

PayJ567:
Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

When did you see it?

Opening night, 2 hours pissed away. *sigh*

On a scale of 1-10 how terrible is it? 1 being terrible 10 being good.

4, yeah definitely 4. The plot was understandable yet boring. I had 0 sympathy for any of the characters. Normally I can at least tolerate that, however with having 0 sympathy the action scenes lost all tension or drama.

Militant Atheism... I could behind that.

Just kidding.

Though I might get the movie when it comes out on dvd

My first thought, having seen the original in the theater, is that this is the same type of movie that my generation grew up with. Monsters, a hero, a heroine and all the "good stuff" that we used to watch on Saturday mornings or (if you grew up in the tri-state area of N.Y., N.J. and Ct.) the 4:30 movie.

Clash of the Titans sort of "is what it is". It is the stuff of young kids' adventure fantasies and as such has to be judged on that merit.

So, having said that, and having seen this remake, this "could" have been great. Bob is correct in that there just isn't much for us to grab on to as far as us caring for the characters.

And some of the characters do indeed feel added on. For no reason.Calibos does feel tacked on and the djinn sorcerer also feels tacked on. Calibos shouldn't have been handled this way as he is actually important in the first movie. There is a sort of comedic duo of fighters who also come along but who also feel tacked on.

Io is also tacked on but gemma arterton is just so damn beautiful (in my opinion) that I didn't mind. However, because of her inclusion Andromeda sort of suffers a back seat.

This movie suffers from writers who made changes for no reason whatsoever. And to add insult to injury we don't see why humanity is pissed at the gods. We are "told" that they are. It isn't until a bit into the film we get to see why Perseus has an axe to grind.

It's as if they forgot to include or develop proper motivation and purpose for most of the characters.

So, in the end I enjoyed the film because I brought my 13 year old self and had a blast. But my 42 year old self couldn't help but think that the movie needed to be tightened up a bit, remove Liam Neeson's bad armor, actually include Poseidon in some of it (as my girlfriend said, he seems important to the whole thing yet he really is never mentioned except for the start). Also there was no need to use Hades as they did.

If you like fun monster movies go see it in 2d. If you are looking for incredible writing, mythology that makes sense and great movie composition then don't bother because you will be disappointed.

When I first heard of CotT remake my feeling was that the original doesn't really need a remake, and probably they would be better off just re-releasing the original, because even though the special effects are old, they got the job done, and it was just a good movie. It might have been a "B- movie," but it scores an easy "A" on the "B- movie" test. It was near perfect for being what it was.

That said, I'll probably see this one too, and nice review.

So how much of the "let's give the Gods what's coming to them" is borrowed from the success of God of War, I wonder? God of War is arguably an unofficial adaptation of Clash of the Titans to begin with, and I certainly don't place Leterrier above sprinkling some videogame influences on his movies.

I mean, he made Transporter 2, that certainly points more towards "Kratos SMASH!" than to "let's rework classic mythology into an atheist manifesto".

C+ at best I agree with, and thats only if you are part of the Michael Bay fanbase.
As someone who knows classics even slightly, this really annoys me.
The mythological part of this is total crap. I can sum this up by saying "The Kraken is from Norse mythology and played no part in Greek whatsoever. If they wanted the sea monster that was going to eat Andromeda as a sacrifice they wanted Cetus-A FISH.
The movie looks like they wanted transformers only with mythological creatures

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