Stolen Pixels #183: Hello, Handsome

Stolen Pixels #183: Hello, Handsome

Red Faction's villains really don't make much sense. Or look very different from each other.

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U iz wr0ng!!!!111111!!!!!!!1!

Red Faction: Gorilla has "t3h best storiez" since The Shawshank Redemption!

Nah, that's the shittiest story I've played in a while. I can't defend that garbage.

Saint's Row 1 and 2 on the other hand...actually somehow have a good storyline.

Teeeheeeeeheheheheheeeheeee

The story wasnt great I know. Still though I got it for £8 on sale so I cant complain. I had fun blowing up stuff.

That wasnt the worst part in the plot though

Hehe "Nice Haircut"

Its true though...why should we care, we hardly know anything about whos in command as is

Yeah I never understood why RFG got such a big break. I guess this must translate into Alpha Prime being the best FPS ever created. I have RFG. It sucks and I wish I didn't buy it.

That's funny...
I could have sworn he was talking to himself via webcam...

(Bald + yellow trench coat)*x = Evil villain*x

I like how they explained why they were going with tyranny as there main philosophy in that game
/sarcasm

You would think that writing would be about the cheapest part of the whole development process. Just go down to the game store and ask dungeon masters, I can guarantee you the produce story better than any video game plot.

The problem with writing is that because everyone can read, everyone thinks they can write...which leads us to crap like this.

Nice.

Andronicus:
That's funny...
I could have sworn he was talking to himself via webcam...

(Bald + yellow trench coat)*x = Evil villain*x

Or possibly not bold, but has a goatee.

Aaaah, Red faction, another one of those games thats just sitting there on my shelf gathering dust till i move out of here. At least wrecking stuff in the game was some fun.

Maybe theey should try using the Deathstar.

Whoa, what is this, the Clone Wars? Someone tell George Lucus to fire up the lawyers.

Shamus Young:
Why this scene is here: In lots of stories, you'll see a worse bad guy taking over for a lesser one. It's a way of escalating a threat and letting the viewer know that the heroes are now against a more formidable foe. Sometimes the new threat will kill the old one, sometimes he just fires or humiliates him. The idea is that this guy is so bad, he'll even hurt his own guys to get to the heroes.

Also occasionally the humiliated lesser may turn bitter and resentful and end up becoming The Starscream.

Shamus Young:
People keep telling me that "Red Faction isn't about the story!" So why is it in there? I mean, Tetris isn't about story, and the game doesn't stop between levels so the straight piece can have an awkwardly animated and laughably performed death scene where the square piece yells, "Noooooo!"

Probally because if it didn't have a storyline, people would rip it even more.

nice haircut indeed XD

Question: Why do all stereotypical villains have to possess either a bald head or a distictive beard?

Are we sure he wasn't just looking into some sort of futuristic mirror? Or maybe they're clones? (In which case Mars would be the newest front in the Clone Wars...)

Good point about escalation there.

I have a feeling that the story writers in these games are required to deliver "plot" (by the kilo), which is then rendered in a food processor. Any hard nuggets are then removed and put into the game as cutscenes, while the blended juice is smeared into the game as "flavour".

Well, how else to you explain Wet?

I'd actually been noticing the "nice haircut" bit myself when I played this, because it's not just those two guys. Virtually every male character with a name either has no hair, or hair cut so short as to be basically the "five o'clock shadow" version of hair.

I get why they do this. I remember inFamous, where Cole looked great and everyone who had hair (especially Trish) looked retarded. Still, I found it funny.

Also, does terraforming somehow increase the warmth that a planet recieves from the sun? Shouldn't it be much colder on Mars? I could be wrong on this one. Planetary science was never my thing.

- J

canadamus_prime:

Shamus Young:
Why this scene is here: In lots of stories, you'll see a worse bad guy taking over for a lesser one. It's a way of escalating a threat and letting the viewer know that the heroes are now against a more formidable foe. Sometimes the new threat will kill the old one, sometimes he just fires or humiliates him. The idea is that this guy is so bad, he'll even hurt his own guys to get to the heroes.

Also occasionally the humiliated lesser may turn bitter and resentful and end up becoming The Starscream.

Fixed. Remember children, always provide links, and always x-ray your candy.

The Critic:
Question: Why do all stereotypical villains have to possess either a bald head or a distictive beard?

It gets worse in this game though. They look just like the main character.

tiredinnuendo:
Also, does terraforming somehow increase the warmth that a planet recieves from the sun? Shouldn't it be much colder on Mars? I could be wrong on this one. Planetary science was never my thing.

- J

Well people do occasionally complain about the cold. As for why it isn't super cold: http://www.marsproject.com/mohole.htm

Mysnomer:

canadamus_prime:

Shamus Young:
Why this scene is here: In lots of stories, you'll see a worse bad guy taking over for a lesser one. It's a way of escalating a threat and letting the viewer know that the heroes are now against a more formidable foe. Sometimes the new threat will kill the old one, sometimes he just fires or humiliates him. The idea is that this guy is so bad, he'll even hurt his own guys to get to the heroes.

Also occasionally the humiliated lesser may turn bitter and resentful and end up becoming The Starscream.

Fixed. Remember children, always provide links, and always x-ray your candy.

Yeah, I know. I couldn't connect to TVtropes to get the direct link for some reason. Hang on...

There fixed it.

I have so far played about 45 minutes of Red Faction Guerilla. I can't make myself continue, because I seriously have no motivation for any of the characters in the game, and the "destroy stuff, tee-hee"-physics aren't that fun when the whole damn collective force of all Mars SWAT teams begin chasing you for busting a pipe.
Also, all the characters I should be motivated to help are either a) boring clichés b) unlikeable c) dead (spoiler, the main characters brother dies in the first ten minutes... oh crap, I don't even remember the name of the main character! Jeez.)

Seriously though, do the bad guys all look exactly the same in Red Faction Guerilla...?

Joe Deadman:

tiredinnuendo:
Also, does terraforming somehow increase the warmth that a planet recieves from the sun? Shouldn't it be much colder on Mars? I could be wrong on this one. Planetary science was never my thing.

- J

Well people do occasionally complain about the cold. As for why it isn't super cold: http://www.marsproject.com/mohole.htm

I may be reading that wrong, but wouldn't that still have the surface temperature at well below zero all the time? And I'm walking around in what is essentially a fireman's jacket with no hat on and close cropped hair?

Right...

- J

tiredinnuendo:

Joe Deadman:

tiredinnuendo:
Also, does terraforming somehow increase the warmth that a planet recieves from the sun? Shouldn't it be much colder on Mars? I could be wrong on this one. Planetary science was never my thing.

- J

Well people do occasionally complain about the cold. As for why it isn't super cold: http://www.marsproject.com/mohole.htm

I may be reading that wrong, but wouldn't that still have the surface temperature at well below zero all the time? And I'm walking around in what is essentially a fireman's jacket with no hat on and close cropped hair?

Right...

- J

Well presumably the terraforming helped as it created an atmosphrere (I think that was mentioned in game?) so I guess its a mixture of the heat from the mohole (there may even be more moholes elsewhere) and the greenhouse effect thanks to that atmosphere.

But anyway two posts and I haven't properly talked about the comic sooo: Yeah I found it weird that those guys looked the same as well... and lets face it the campaign is just an excuse to go their and blow those guys/their base to smithereens.

Looks like bald is the new black.

That doesn't make much sense in the context of hair, does it?

Am I the only one who thought that "bad guy B" looked cross-eyed in that cutscene?

For the first two areas I could hold some suspension of disbelief as to why they were so violent and oppressive on the populace, but in the later areas the populace actually supported the evil bastards. Yet they somehow felt it necessary to kidnap people and hold them hostage, or set a bunch of snipers loose in a heavily populated area for no apparent reason. That was when the story went from bad, to laughably bad.

How come everybody is bald in Red Faction? This must be so far in the future that hair itself is obsolete.

I have to totally agree with Shamus on this one. Where did the all the people from the game disappear to? Whoever did the story for the first one was pretty good, I thought. In the first one it was more about huge social barriers between classes. That, and some dood obsessed with mutating things. But now, we have the same sort of setup but it makes no sense at all. Shamus said it best in his strip. If these resources are SO important and getting them faster is SO important then why, OH WHY, would they want to downtrod, beat and murder those whose job it is to get said resources? I'm thinking they got rid of all the writers and just told the coders and such to go nuts with the story. Maybe that explains why the protagonist is so close to a certain, classic comic book hero :P

 

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