Reliable Source: Mac Vs. PC

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I personally like macs, the way they run is nice, they are just too expensive for the hardware you get in them.

Macs do attract the crazy hippies though. Not sure why, Windows is the one with the recycle bin, mac has a trash can.

Way to go, teaching that hippie not to mess around with people who build their own computers!

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

Now THIS is 100times more funny than your entire story.
I nearly fell from the chair, laughing.

Abedeus:

My grandpa survived WWII with one leg.

Your argument is invalid. Especially since the civil war was... well, a civil war. No other country cared about it.

My argument is not invalid, Marion Cox's ancestor was the only survivor of a special forces unit and he survived with only one arm... heard it before?

yes, Marion's ancestor is Revolver Ocelot.

I didn't know either of my male grandparents, one was a bank robber, the other one I don't know.

Pure bat-shit genius as usual. Also you would think that with all the feng-shway macbook money the beatnick would buy better pot? Ah well...

I personally don't keep a password on my extensive collection of japanese porn. My family is almost totally computer illiterate, i too suffer from family tech support sydrome. My freind once got his stash found by his dad but we was to elleated that his boy wasn't gay to be anywhere near angry.

You do seem to encounter a LOT of mac-users who just keep the thing to subscribe to some kind of warped lifestlye arangement in which everything is dualy an orament and a peice of stuff to lord over your friends. I call it the computer for the smug, superiour and stupid.

That is one of the funniest, most badass stories I've read in a long time.

Marion Cox:
[..] If I got the computer set up quickly, I could stop by Giorgio's and pick up a BBQ chicken pizza and beer to wash the taste of health out of my mouth.

That is the best sentence I've heard in a LONG time!

Love your stories man, keep writing! I don't know if any of them are true (I'm not implying they are not), but it they are, you have some very interesting life.

danpascooch:
Seriously though, is there anything in this world better than Barbecue Chicken Pizza?

2 of them ?

The story was somewhat funny but I'm saddened that the Mac vs PC war just won't die.

I had a big grin on my face at the end, great article. I think i'll be reading this weekly now ^^

LeonLethality:
12345? That's the kind of password an idiot would have on his luggage!

Seriously great read and I had many laughs keep up the good work.

It's also one of the most commonly used kinds of passwords, frighteningly enough. Seriously, a lot of e-mail passwords are just things like '123'.

Anyway, a very nice article as always. Horray for PC chassis as deadly weapons! I'm a little disappointed you didn't try and preserve the evidence in some way, but the fact that the man had legged it and took your sister's purse with him is pretty much an admission of guilt right there, anyway.

I'll always be a PC person, honestly. I have an iPod touch, of course, and it's a nice little thing, but I'm just familiar with how PCs work. Hell, I tried to use a Mac once. I couldn't even figure out how to turn the bloody thing on until the owner showed me how.

Besides, pre-built stuff is always really overpriced.

Thedutchjelle:
The story was somewhat funny but I'm saddened that the Mac vs PC war just won't die.

The Mac versus PC war dying would be like fanboyism itself dying; thanks to human nature, that isn't going to happen, I'm afraid. People grow out of it, but there'll always be a LOT of fanboys in the world at any given point in time.

is this a true story? even if its not its a good one...

Awesome, i laughed hard! Great stuff, keep it up man, you're a legend!

Despite the fact that I'm a Mac user, I found that generally funny and entertaining. Good job protecting your sister from an identity thief by the use of a gratuitously-heavy tower.

And no, I'm not a hippy: I'm a clean-cut electrical engineering undergrad who keeps Windows 7 on his iMac for games.

Jim From Accounting:

danpascooch:
Seriously though, is there anything in this world better than Barbecue Chicken Pizza?

2 of them ?

You are forgetting Marion's mentors rule of superfoods. Put chips on it and put another pizza ontop of that. THEN you have yourself a meal.

Fuck weight to protect my PC. If you can get to it, you deserve it!

Marion Cox:

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

Wow, that's rough. I can only imagine the confusion that went on whenever the three of you were together and someone tried to call you by name. Though, you probably all three made up different sounding nicknames to get around that. Naming your kids after some war hero may seem like a good idea but I'm sure I don't have to tell you how that can backfire.

I forgot to mention, for you and your sister's added protection. You should look into one of these cases. Not only will it crack a man's skull but it probably wont even chip the paint.

http://www.newegg.com/Product/ProductList.aspx?Submit=ENE&DEPA=0&Order=BESTMATCH&Description=armor+thermaltake

Spaceballs ftw!

are these stories real?

Twitchy Racoon:
are these stories real?

I think they're more 'transposed reality' so yes and no.

Haha, what a wonderful article :)

Hippies,Can't live with em unless their being used as the infastructure of the couch with their bones.

Priceless, a great read.

That was awesome, this reminded me of almost every college hippie I have ever ran into, and I hate them all

Amusing - if biased. PC & Mac both have their respective uses in various ways and fields. I happen to use both, personally and professionally. I like Macs better, but I use PC's on a regular basis, and know how to operate and repair both. Works out good for me, best of both worlds.

Awesome story by the way, well written and hilariously described.

I hope this is true, because it's a great story if it is.

LeonLethality:
12345? That's the kind of password an idiot would have on his luggage!

Seriously great read and I had many laughs keep up the good work.

WOOO SPACEBALLS.

OT: Marion, you come off as the standard ignorant violent stereotype in the section about food, but other than that I'm with you all the way. Though using computers as weapons isn't on. Poor computers.

Great story...PC is better (more dangerous) than a Mac. LOL

Mr. Cox

You have brightened my day. Your tale of Apple chicanery failing to uphold it's ridiculous claims under the harsh light (and weight) of a home-built PC warms the cockles of my heart. Or would, if I had any idea what the "cockles of one's heart" were.

I truly hope that you smashed the hard drive of that (31 adjectives censored for objectionable content -Ed.) scamming freak.
Sincerely
-Rag

I'm a PC, and I'm coming for your Mac fool!!!
Take that you Hippie Thief Mac Nut!!!
Good Stuff, great morning laugh.

Wonder how the "fight" scene would have been different with a mac pro tower. Thing is like a solid 40lb block of aluminum.

therandombear:

LeonLethality:

therandombear:
You both win for nice execution of Unskippable reference. Talk to mr.Marion for reward

That's not an Unskippable reference it's a spaceballs reference. Unskippable referenced it though.

Oh yes, I remember now, I watched it last week, but forgot about that. Oh well, win win anyways ;)

just so you don't forget again

BloodRed Pixel:

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

isit that the story to the dirty dozen with a bit of cannibalism tossed in?

dthree:
Wonder how the "fight" scene would have been different with a mac pro tower. Thing is like a solid 40lb block of aluminum.

Good Point, that thing is heavy duty... looking. I bet it would surprisingly shred open like a foil wrapped chicken parm footlong. Too bad Marion couldn't beat the hippie with one of those.

Seriously though, as an ex-hippie myself, I can't stand macs. We have an IT guy in the office who swears by them and will actually do a mac sales pitch to anyone who can stand being around him for more than 3 mins. So I agree to work on an imac because it was in fact better (on paper) than the ancient PC I would otherwise have to use. The egg-mouse lasted a month before the wheel stopped working. This is apparently common so the IT guy shows me how to fix it by smacking it like it's a new pack of cigarettes. That got another week out of it. Now I use one of the ancient PC mice.
About the imac itself: in the one year I've been using it I've had a ton of crashes, programs disappear but I'm told they're open, and it had to have the mother/logic-board replaced. In short, I've had more problems with it in one year than I've had with any pc.
I used to stick with pc because my wife and I like games. Now I just don't understand why anyone would buy one of those overpriced yuppie-beacons. Between the horrible performance and the IT fanboy constantly saying how they're the best thing ever, I can't help but think that pretentiousness can sell computers.

direkiller:

isit that the story to the dirty dozen with a bit of cannibalism tossed in?

I wonder if my dad knows that?

therandombear:

SeanTheSheep:
That, Mr. Cox, was amazing.
What sort of sadistic bastard names their kid "Renault" though?

Someone who likes french cars maybe?

LeonLethality:
12345? That's the kind of password an idiot would have on his luggage!

Seriously great read and I had many laughs keep up the good work.

thekg:

LeonLethality:
12345? That's the kind of password an idiot would have on his luggage!

That's amazing. I've got the same combination on my luggage!

You both win for nice execution of Unskippable reference. Talk to mr.Marion for reward

That's not from Unskipable dude, or at least not originally. They were quoting Space Balls

i am no one to judge, but this is the very first reliable source i have enjoyed...

i dont know why??

GO TEAM PC!!

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