Zero Punctuation: Red Steel 2

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That last line made my day. Well played.

Is there going to be a Just Cause 2 review ever? Just curious.

It's like winning a contest at jerking off to your sister in the shower.....

This is quite possibly the most poetic and incredibly good literary comparison I have ever read. From now on I am going to end everything I say with the words "it's like."

It's like I've been inspired or something.

LMAO @ Hobbes!!!

Good review.

Planing on buying the game soon along with Monster Hunter Tri.
He should review that one.

Dammit, Yahtzee. Review Just Cause 2 already. It'll be solid gold!

You know what's funny? Waaaay back in the early days he actually liked the Wii. His raging on it constantly is like a husband constantly bitter at his wife for the years he wasted on her...

Anyways, getting really tired of the constant dick jokes but other than that his reviews are heading uphill again.

Plurralbles:

yellowhead:
You say that the difficulty when you unlock 'The Tiger' is a big flaw. But maybe that was part of the point. I think the game is meant to make you feel like an unstoppable warrior of death by the end, a bit like Kill-Bill.

I think difficulty curves that don't plateau are more amusing and one is supposed to begin feeling like an unstoppable killing machine because they are GOOD at the game rather than they've put enough hours in and "earned" an unbreakable guard that needs one motion to work.

I figured that being an effortless unstoppable badass might add to that feeling. Like being so cool that nothing impresses you.

I lolled so many times it's not even funny anymore.

Let's do a rundown:
+1 for the Arucard reference, I wasn't the only thinking of that apperently,
+1 for each "wank" joke
+1 for the Wii bashing
+100001010119 for the cat with the assault rifle

I almost pissed my pants at that one:)

1:20 "Are you that vampire guy"

Is that by chance a reference to Black Blood Brothers?
Just thought it might be cause of the HORRENDOUS amounts of red on one character.

OT: That was actually a good review, much better than most of the recent ZP babble.

Where does one go to study the "Startled Gazelle?"

Another review I watched solely for entertainment purposes. I "loaned" my Wii to my mother, who as an old lady with no gaming skills will find it far more fun than me, so no Wii exclusive is really going to attract me much.

Still, funny review. And begs the question of what else WMP is useful for.

Lowering the quality sound for us poor people who can't afford to become a 'publisher', ay The Escapist?

J-Dude:
Yahtzee, you're a great reviewer, and God, I love ya', but I really hope your constant disappointment with anything made by Nintendo is more about your intent to come off as a people-hater than to genuinely be dissuading people from looking into it.

I agree as much as you will that motion control is just a long-term experiment, much like 3D movies. The only reason it's got such a free ride is because it's different. It's a gimmick if there ever was one. But even if I personally don't like using it and will prefer plugging in the Gamecube controller whenever I (rarely) play a Wii game, I understand the necessity of it all.

Look, the Wii is definitely designed around the casual gamer, and for many but the most devoted of Nintendo fans, a lot of it won't seem made for them. A lot of it will seem really easy, almost insultingly so, but I think that's the truth of it all. A LOT of the Wii ISN'T for those of us seeking greater and greater challenges, not to say the first-party Mario titles ever disappoint even now. Nintendo realized there was a vacuum in the market for games and consoles priced and intended for gamers who were never gamers before. They realized that just as they had raised our generation of now-hardcores' back in the NES/SNES/64 days, so too did the newest generation need the same thing. Except nobody else in the gaming industry was prepared to do that.

Back in the golden age, we had Atari, Sega and Nintendo, all GAMING companies. Since then, the two new big guys have stepped in and made a name for themselves, and as a whole Playstation and XBox are distributing gaming to the masses adequately. But the problem is, Sony and Microsoft aren't GAMING companies, they're massive multinational corporate empires, and they're less concerned with the ultimate fate of the gaming industry than they are about appealing to what people seem to want here and now.

Back in the 80's, comic books went to a point when the geekier aspect made for kids was almost chucked entirely out the window when the "Grim and Gritty" fad took over, with comics like Watchemen and Spawn forming bandwagons that everyone else jumped on, since all the older hardcore comic book fans thought it was so badass. But then, early 90's, those fans grew up and stopped buying comics out of necessity, and there were no young comic book reading kids to spur on a new generation. No Mom wanted to buy their kid "Spawn", are you kidding? And so the market imploded, and to this day you can't get kids to buy comic books, not unless they actually happen to be Japanese manga.

This can happen to gaming, and it looks all too likely that it will. Nintendo has played their cards smart, they know they need to attract and makes games for new gamers. The WiiMote and all it's motion-sensor garbage was probably a fluke, but Nintendo is going to use it, because everyone wants it. They've got themselves a mascot, a timeless symbol of gaming named Mario for the new gamers to rally behind, whereas Playstation has "BluRay Logo Man", and XBox has Master Chief, a faceless lump of emotionless armor. Casual gaming is getting parents and grandparents little kids to join the cause. And if it keeps up, gaming may stop being such an insider thing and enter the mass media, securing itself as part of our culture, the same way that comics, film and television did in their day, when THEY were the new kids on the block.

And it's working, the Wii may make a lot of shovel-ware needlessly, but it's conquering sales, and Nintendo is unthinkably on top as if the world had rewound back to the good old days. Nintendo is a gaming company, and they're willing to step back and be the elementary teachers of the new generation instead of running with their graduates, willing to immortalize gaming and do what's necessary to strengthen its weak points and its place in the world. Playstation and XBox are doing their thing just fine, but what casual game exists for the Playstation? Ratchet and Clank? That's about it. But without all those new gamers, the market will implode. And the second it does, Sony and XBox can and WILL opt out. No more Playstation, no more XBox, and they'd take a ton of 3rd party devs with them, since Nintendo will still be going, but will see no reason to keep the 3rd parties on life support. Goodbye Konami, goodbye Capcom.

Yahtzee, I understand. I know you WANT to root for Nintendo as much as anyone, but you see so little for you that you can't see how you can do that. You loved No More Heroes, so I know you're not indiscriminate, but rather than insist that however little you like it, the Wii is designed around casual and beginner gamers, you merely call the console worthless as a whole, and since so many people listen to your opinions Yahtzee, that's done far more harm than good, it's helped widen an unhealthy rift between the casual gamers and the hardcores. I'm sure that's not your intention, but the fact remains, we as gamers, hardcore or casual, need to stand as a whole for the love of our medium, to beat down the unfair negative stigmas gaming has garnered, especially to fight off the bullshit violence debate. The casual gamers are non-gamers giving gaming a go. How much more solid ground will we have if our Moms and Grandmoms become gamers in the slightest sense, no longer seeing the console as this untrustworthy bad-habit machine. We need this to get bigger, we need them on our side.

Nintendo understood this. The Wii doesn't have everything for everyone, but it just about has everything for someone, and those someone's are the casual gamers. They are necessary, and I applaud Nintendo for being the only ones to really see it, even if it means less content an experienced gamer like myself is likely to enjoy.

No-one cares

Well spoken J-Dude ... although I dispute the terminology 'Hardcore/Softcore' ... games are games.

Dr. Mario for example. Strategic, Tetris-like puzzle game of fiendish difficulty sometimes. Always asomething new in that game ... different clusters of bugs, to different levesl of gameplay. Loads of replayability.

Is a 'Hardcore' title really that 'hardcore' if all it does is have guns and deathmatch?

I position the question, with ninty's upcoming wii exclusive, Monster Hunter Tri .... all the monster hunters have 100's hours of replayability ...(no, really, Hard to believe but true) ... the game doesn't 'end'

There's no story to end it ...

The monsters can be fiendish in their difficulty and every foil to the big bad monsters rely on a triple threat of skill, game knowledge, and equipment/item loadout from the player...

Compared to Splinter Cell, or MW 2 ... 5 hours a piece of single player campaign, a little co-op/online functionality (albeit MW2 online functionality can kiss the original's ass, because it is SO much better).

What's more 'Hardcore'?

Keep in mind MH3 will have both Split Screen co-op and online functionality (for 4 player parties).

I have all 3 consoles, and a good gaming rig ... and I haven't touch my PS3 or my Xbox in ages... for me personally Wiimote + Keyboard and mouse = definitive gameplay experience and are the true 'hardcore' experiences.

For starters .... PS3 and Xbox look like garbage nowadays. PC is where it's at graphics wise, and the gameplay is better as well(mostly). So I usually stick to my PC and my wii (because the shooters feel different than a Keyboard and mouse, and feel much better and solid in comparison to dual analog stick controller).

Cheesebob:
Lowering the quality sound for us poor people who can't afford to become a 'publisher', ay The Escapist?

Sounds fine to me. Doesn't sound any worse than the previous ZP's in standard and the high quality version is only slightly more crisp. The visual's a more drastic step up than the audio, really.

I would like to point out that there is a VERY competative international league of jerking off to your sister in the shower although i must admit the best local leagues reside in the deep shouth.

The best was saved for last. It has been a long time since I was last caught off-guard and LOLed spontaneously, a great "out of thin air" moment which is definitely appreciated.

And that's why I tune in every week.

I want to use two swords with two remotes. Then I'll buy a Wii.

Whoops, forgot to hit "quote".

Yeah, this does not convince me I want a Wii. Entertaining review, though, and it's good to hear Yahtzee's voice recovering.

To the person who was wondering about Reboot:

...wow you make me feel old.

Reboot is a cartoon from the 90s that was about people who lived in computers and had to defeat "games" in order to surivive. It was pretty freakin awesome, NGL.

PaulH:
Well spoken J-Dude ... although I dispute the terminology 'Hardcore/Softcore' ... games are games.

Dr. Mario for example. Strategic, Tetris-like puzzle game of fiendish difficulty sometimes. Always asomething new in that game ... different clusters of bugs, to different levesl of gameplay. Loads of replayability.

Is a 'Hardcore' title really that 'hardcore' if all it does is have guns and deathmatch?

I position the question, with ninty's upcoming wii exclusive, Monster Hunter Tri .... all the monster hunters have 100's hours of replayability ...(no, really, Hard to believe but true) ... the game doesn't 'end'

There's no story to end it ...

The monsters can be fiendish in their difficulty and every foil to the big bad monsters rely on a triple threat of skill, game knowledge, and equipment/item loadout from the player...

Compared to Splinter Cell, or MW 2 ... 5 hours a piece of single player campaign, a little co-op/online functionality (albeit MW2 online functionality can kiss the original's ass, because it is SO much better).

What's more 'Hardcore'?

Keep in mind MH3 will have both Split Screen co-op and online functionality (for 4 player parties).

I have all 3 consoles, and a good gaming rig ... and I haven't touch my PS3 or my Xbox in ages... for me personally Wiimote + Keyboard and mouse = definitive gameplay experience and are the true 'hardcore' experiences.

I personally define "hardcore" and "casual" in terms of innate difficulty. Subject matter is irrelevant, but it must be admitted that most games you'd find outside the Wii will likely tell the player once how to perform a certain action and then fling them into the game. Lets face it, when I refer to a "casual" gamer, I'm not so much referring to the people who play games but only ever now and then, as I am to the people who can count on one hand how many times they've held a controller. Ever watch your parents struggle to grasp what are in your opinion, very BASIC controls and are ultimately defeated by the game's equivalent of a Goomba? This is what I'd consider a casual gamer. We "hardcores" are the ones who have mastered the basics better than we realize and are adapted to guiding a game avatar through a game world so well that we can pick up and play just about every game and have SOME idea of what to do.

I know, that probably will get the people who play every game on hard and do things like enter options for "no vita chambers" in Bioshock a bit upset, but the truth is most games are gamers games, expecting, nay, demanding that after a short demonstration you're prepared to do it for real, whereas a new gamer will panic and go, "No, wait, what was that button again? Press X to not what?? What's X? Oh God, what is that! ARGH!!!"

Hehe...Alucard! Yay!

Nice review, made me chuckle expecilly near the end with the whole odd, nearly trance like state you wre playing in =P

MaxChaos:

EddySpaghetti:

Sooo some ppl know the exact moment of upload woow...get a fkin life....
P.S. what time is it?...xD

1700, GMT.

uhh i'm in Milano (Italy) what time wod that be here??? (excuse my super dumbness)

God, and I thought ReBoot had been completely forgotten ^^

And for the record, I'm sure it's very nice, but I'll admit that the Wii is a serious gaming system before I pay ten bucks to watch hi-res vids.

EddySpaghetti:

uhh i'm in Milano (Italy) what time wod that be here??? (excuse my super dumbness)

It would be 1800 (6 o' clock) your time, I believe! And you're not being dumb: the only way to get answers is to ask questions! :-)

AceInTheHole16:
WTF's Reboot?

Oh my God... shut up. Just shut up. I might bring brimsonte down upon your head if you say anything else.

ReBoot was the FIRST fully virtual animated television show brought to us by Mainframe Entertainment. It was a comuter themed show with various jokes and a darkening story as the audience grew older. The show was frowm the same animators as Beast Wars, Beast Machines, Heavy Gear, and lately the Fairy Scare mother and Tony Hawk crap that has been playing on Cartoon Network.

Another entertaining review. I played and enjoyed the first "No More Heroes" and quite liked the controls, however inaccurate they were. I wonder how much of an improvement the Motion Plus really is over that.

Yea! A ReBoot Refernence!

I would totally play a game where you're an air traffic controller at the Hindenburg disaster.

HA! its pronounced "sen-SAY" hahahahahaha!! god im such a whiney bitch...

MaxChaos:

EddySpaghetti:

uhh i'm in Milano (Italy) what time wod that be here??? (excuse my super dumbness)

It would be 1800 (6 o' clock) your time, I believe! And you're not being dumb: the only way to get answers is to ask questions! :-)

Hehehehe cool thank you dude...uhh do u perhaps use a ps3? online that is...

The Hobbes part was cool, I actually am dating the daughter of Bill Watterson's friend, they both went to high school in Chagrin Falls together, and are good friends ^^ I'm that cool

I've asked before, but I'm going to keep trying, especially since we all know your hatred for the Wii, since the Wii is not your fav. system, which do you prefer to play on, X360 or PS3? Or do you really not care either way?

I had the first one it wasn't that good, but im thinking of getting this one now. The only problem is i don't have wii motion plus

How boring. I know it's hard to rip apart such a fun game, but Zero Punctuation is a lot more fun when Yahtzee bashes games without mercy.

"looking like an episode of Reeboot" I used to love that program :) It was animated by the same dudes who did the Money For Nothing video for the Dire Straights. ;)

Hoooobbes!

J-Dude:

I personally define "hardcore" and "casual" in terms of innate difficulty. Subject matter is irrelevant, but it must be admitted that most games you'd find outside the Wii will likely tell the player once how to perform a certain action and then fling them into the game. Lets face it, when I refer to a "casual" gamer, I'm not so much referring to the people who play games but only ever now and then, as I am to the people who can count on one hand how many times they've held a controller. Ever watch your parents struggle to grasp what are in your opinion, very BASIC controls and are ultimately defeated by the game's equivalent of a Goomba? This is what I'd consider a casual gamer. We "hardcores" are the ones who have mastered the basics better than we realize and are adapted to guiding a game avatar through a game world so well that we can pick up and play just about every game and have SOME idea of what to do.

I know, that probably will get the people who play every game on hard and do things like enter options for "no vita chambers" in Bioshock a bit upset, but the truth is most games are gamers games, expecting, nay, demanding that after a short demonstration you're prepared to do it for real, whereas a new gamer will panic and go, "No, wait, what was that button again? Press X to not what?? What's X? Oh God, what is that! ARGH!!!"

Not really, pretty much out of home by age 10 :P

But in relation to your topic, i'm drawing on your inference that a hardcore game needn't explain to you gameplay specifics BECAUSE it assumes that you've played something much likte it in the past?

So a 'Canon' shooter being presented to a 'standard hardcore gamer' needn't explain to you in game, that right trigger shoots, left trigger - grenades, etc etc?

But surely this shouldn't be the goal of games.

If 'hardcore gamers' were truly worried about the concept of games becoming too 'samey' then anything that attempts to create something that postmodernity-style 'jams' you from immersion to make you recognise that you're playing something unlike anything else should automatically be WELCOMED by gamers? :]

In the truest sense, a truly 'hardcore gamer' must accept that the value of a game comes from learning how to best it by utilising aspects of it that are traditionally not aspects of what is the 'norm' for that genre, not about using what's familiar in genres in the most familiarised way.

Because as most gamers would tout, 'familiarity breeds contempt', originality in new IPs are necessary.

As having played this game, I can certainly say that this is the case with Red Steel 2... it delivers a new experience, with grand precision, and exceptional drive.

As such is also the case with Wii's premiere shooter Metroid Prime 3 .... the third person action/adventure/(very slight)rpg Fragile: Sayonara Tsuki no haikyou, MoH Heroes 2, Madworld, No More Heroes (1 & 2), upcoming Monster Hunter Tri, list goes on

Like other console shooters, the wii has some awesome games, and even if they are of the same genre, the learning curve in how to use the controls is much higher than shooters on the PS3 and XB360....

Surely if gamers (particularly 'Hardcore' as you define) we're truly welcoming of change, they should snap up the wii because it offers crucially different gaming styles even within the same genre. If only because it gives them the sense that they can truly conquer any game.

In the end, the wii delivers an experience that is critically overlooked on the PS3 and 360 ... and as such it would be foolish to simply tout that console as 'childish' when the Nintendo has , literally, created a 'paradgm shift' in the way we perceive games and gameplay ... Not only that GOOD wii games are EXTREMELY enjoyable ... and simply would not work on any other platform....

Am I the only one to think that this is a GOOD thing, and that originality and new gameplay ideas SHOULD be pursued to their logical limits? I personally do not view the wii in concepts of 'hardcore/casual' ... I view it as concept shattering.

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