Is this an invitation to your loyal fans to send you more e-mail? You know, make your mornings prettier. I think i shall do a good deed and send you a couple, or more.

Amusing read. I genuinely laughed. :D

He started verbally abusing his employees and pulled out an ivory handled revolver

Awesome.

That was pretty damn funny.

So that's where the column title comes from!

derek_smart:
This has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever read. Good job Marion.

Gawd, I laughed until cried. Then I read it again, laughed some more, cried a little. Then I hugged my iPad.

I hear they have an app in the iStore for that now.

The only thing more horrifying than the fact that this story is probably true is Marion Cox's eating habits.

Marion Cox:
I only escaped by hopping on a janitor's cart. I was unwittingly pushed out of the building by my savior, a Mexican guy whose nametag read, "Jesus."

Absolutely brilliant! I laughed so hard I squirted my Whey Protein/Goose Fat/Maple Syrup/Chunky Monkey/Creme de menthe breakfast 'power' smoothie all over my keyboard!

Oh mate, I am drunk enough to actually believe this. I really should stop reading these kind of articles before I start a socialist movement against IW.

Mr. Cox, you set the standard for investigative journalism.

You seriously never fail to take current news and weave a freaking hilarious story out of it, after seeing this, I must go back and read all of your articles I never read, this is only the 3rd I've read

Entertaining, I suppose. More so because I wasn't sure if it was real news at first.
Not having had enough sleep lately does that.

Well let's just hope it's a FINAL crisis!

I. AM. THE. NEW. GOD!

:3

Anyway, I hope this ends soon.

This right here is why I read the Escapist more than Kotaku.

s_glasgow99:
WTF? I don't get this guy's column. I understand that it's fiction, at least I hope it is, then why is it posted as a news article on the Escapist? Bah, I suppose to best answer is "Don't read it if you don't like it."

Don't believe a word of anything Marion says. What little truth he relates isn't worth worrying about. And really, his articles are extremely hit or miss. I would say this on tops my list, along with LOL, your DPS is fail

haha great! Hopefully kotick doesn't buy theescapist now and fire everyone.

Cool I cant wait for this game!!!

Call of Duty 7: infinity WARDfare

Hehe, I thought that was real for a moment, but then again with the way IW's been going I wouldn'tbe suprised if it was.

GodKlown:
This sounded like a Tom Clancy-esqe take-over.

Just you wait till Kotick is commanding a Stealth Bomber on Infinity Ward's HQ with his LIVE headset.

Mr. Mike:
Hilarious as always Marion. With the way things are going at Activision and the Infinity Ward fiasco, I wouldn't be surprised if Kotick was getting like that. Bye bye cash-cow!

Same here, it could actually tring some truth in the article.

Hilarious as always

s_glasgow99:
WTF? I don't get this guy's column. I understand that it's fiction, at least I hope it is, then why is it posted as a news article on the Escapist? Bah, I suppose to best answer is "Don't read it if you don't like it."

It's not a news article, if it was, it'd be in the news room. It's just a plain old article.

This sounds legit, guys.

danpascooch:

xI Kinshasa Ix:
It was probably a promo thing or something, but this guy 'escaped' and never found out. Good story either way

You can't honestly believe any of that was true, lol

Why not it's Bobby Kotick we are talking about here.

seen ow if that was me. i'd just calmly walk out of my little cubical, holding a WP grenade and a p90. be like 'sup bitches. yer interrueptin my work schedule. me no like.

Scrumpmonkey:
This story is outlandish and innacurate to a laughbale degree. We ALL know that Kotick's goons use SCAR-Hs. It's a lucky thing they only use the heardbeat sensors when they attack EA becuase if they were this brave source would be dead. !

nah that wouldn't work. see, in order for those to work you actually need a heart.. and well.. game developers just dont have any heart. or soul. or creativity anymore.

ColdStorage:

Therumancer:
Brilliant, hiding the truth in an internet humor piece to avoid the attention of EA was a great move.

I get the "joke" man, don't worry we Escapists will fix everything in the usual internet fashion: we'll start a petition and send it to Bobby Kotick. That will show him. Goons with machine guns are no match for petitions by anonymous internet nerds!

And to make sure he knows were serious we should boycott something, anything as long as we say its a boycott.

Pack it in with the Ubisoft boycott perhaps. That would REALLY show him!

Great article. There are unlikely to be many more artciles when it sounds like your cholesterol is higher than your MW kill count...

Marion Cox:
Reliable Source: Inside the Crisis at Infinity Ward

Marion receives some information from a reliable source about what really happened with the Modern Warfare 2 studio.

Read Full Article

Wow all this trouble for a MW3 release date?
(storm the building) "Alright,when is Modern Warfare 3 coming out!?" (shoots the ceiling) "WHEN IS MODERN WARFARE 3 COMING OUT!!?" (swat guys leave the room) (programmer picks up the gun on the desk) "We can't tell'em,guys.. *sobs* We can't tell'em" (The swat guys eventually get what they came for and leave the premises) (guy crys under his desk for 10 hours) (then emails this publisher) The End :)

LOL XD! *deep sigh* That made my day. Some mexican guy whose nametag read Jesus. HAHAHA!!!!

CoverYourHead:
It's all coming together now...

Quite frankly, I blame today's violent video games.

Such as: http://modernwarfare2.infinityward.com/agegate.php

Hmm...
an entertaining read if nothing else...
Though if I had to guess... I'd say this is a fake.
"CODwhistleblower" a bit too obvious.
Also has signs of the usual religious claptrap that comes up in hoaxes like this... a janitor's nametag reading "Jesus"... really?

And there are a few holes with this guy's story, anyway...
why wasn't he forced to sign the non-disclosure agreement?

umm... even though others signed the agreement... if this were true, then such an agreement would be null and void precisely BECAUSE they had been forced to sign it. If they were afraid for their lives... well, ask the police for protective custody.

No one noticed this guy toppling his filing cabinet? No one heard it fall? Yeah right.

If he said Kotick was holding a Guitar Hero controller instead of a revolver I would've believed this...

*Just blinking at the computer screen*