Zero Punctuation: Just Cause 2

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chenry:
Am I the only one who noticed that Just Cause 2 is basically a terrorism simulator?

I mean, you play as a foreigner come to topple a government because you don't like them. That's it. And you do this by blowing up key government infrastructures, like pipelines, power plants, fuel depots, and nothing things. I mean, ok by the time you actually topple the government, you've reduced the entire island to a smoldering heap.

How exactly does this help the citizens? They're screwed now! They have no gas, no power, and no defenses.

Imagine if you were the other side of this game, your island be ravaged by a foreign "freedom fighter" who goes around and blows the shit out of everything.

But fuck all that 'cos JC2 is frikkin' AWESOME.

You forget one thing: the 7 Storyline missions you have to do to finish the game DONT force you to do all the destruction! You dont have to destroy all the gas tanks, pipelines and water supplies to finish the game. Thats the gamers choice. I spend most of my time in JC2 with paragliding and diving-veeery peaceful. Besides-Rico is payed by "the agency"-therefor he cant be a terrorist-he is a hero defending the evil forces ;)

What's going on? Three accurate AND funny reviews in a row, on games that matter no less? It looks like Yahtzee actually listened to the community to the extent that he's not reviewing games you can pick up in the bargain bin after the first week, and actually played them no less.

Entertaining.

Kudos.

Aah! A tiger!

I'm mostly on par with Yahtzee on this one, though the biggest gripe I have is the voice acting. (Looking at you, Bolo.)

If I asked the makers why they didn't fire her on the first take, I know what they'd say.

"Why? Just cause!"

While we're talking about magical patches for JC2:

1) Skippable cutscenes.

2) The ability to save for real.

3) There's a weird bug (in the demo at least) where changing the music volume doesn't carry over to the cutscenes, but changing the dialogue volume does. Drop both in settings, and every cutscene becomes a bunch of hard stares. This goes some way to fix the unskippability of the cutscenes and the terrible writing/acting. Maybe this bug should be left alone, considered a feature.

so saints row 2 except bigger and badder?

...man i need to get this game hahaha

fucked if i know. haha i havent laughed like that in a long time thanks yatzee :D

I bet the offspring of Zeus and a Mexican window washer would be a great MLB outfielder

This review was awesume, why? JUST CAUSE AHAHA XD!

usually you are much more harsh than i would be (which is why i watch) but this time i completely agreed with everything you said, i think you are going soft yatzee. or maybe i am getting more cynical... excuse me while i find a sharp object.

As the wise old sage Duke Nukem would say, "Man, that's a lot of pussy"

Bad Company 2 is not even close to been realistic, and ironically it also has unlimited number of parachutes, he would know that if he would have at least tried the multiplayer.

Good review as always. I love manipulating the gravity-hook and the ridiculous physics defying feats it pulls off. I wish there were more opportunity to be towed behind a vehicle in your parachute, and they missed a real opportunity in that you can tie one end of the hook shot to one building and the other end to a building on the opposite end of the street, but vehicles pass harmlessly through it. It can do some ridiculous things though, most of which I think are based on the developers making a physics engine and stopping before the last part, which entails putting the realistic limits on what you can do. In case any of you haven't tried it yet, I recommend riding the back of a civilian car (which will obligingly speed up and only when they run out of road will they get out and run on foot) shooting a cop, and then tethering the pursuing jeeps to the ground. I never get tired of this, it works on the motorcycles and their riders too. The best part is, I keep having ideas for this one mechanic, because it is so simple but there is so much to do with it. Just now, while typing about the cars, I thought, "Why didn't I try that on the helicopters too? Or why didn't I tie them TO the jeeps?" It's a pity I only rented this and that the semester is ending, guess I'll have to wait until mid-may to find out if these ideas work. I know for a fact that chaining a soldier to a propane tank and then setting the propane tank flying works, and never gets old. Also, during an early mission where you are pursued by jeeps while riding the back of a car driven by a contact, you pass over the large bridge in that section, I found out there that while tying jeeps to the ground slows them and sometimes flips them over, tying a jeep to the outside guardrail of a bridge uses its own momentum to...well I'll let all of you see that one for yourselves. Needless to say, it is efficient and hilarious.

Yahtzee was lucky, it appears, or has decided not to mention... No I change my mind, if he HAD encountered the horrible game-crippling glitch I think he would have mentioned it. Potential buyers of this game beware, though the game itself is fun, there is a risk that you will have to start the game over again due to programming error. Near the beginning of the game, there is a conversation while roaming the open world that begins with something similar to Rico saying: "Time to meet the factions on Panau..." followed by another character explaining the 3 main factions and what their problem is (aside from being named "The Oooooouular boys" that is, no it isn't spelled that way, but that's how everyone says it.) Sometimes, when reloading a game after dying in the open world, this dialogue will restart, even if you are past that point in the game. This in turn re-triggers the appearance of the three faction hideouts on your HUD, and through some bizarre abomination of programming, this causes everything at those locations to disappear, all the soldiers, vehicles, weapons and, most importantly, the button that lets you speak to the faction leader. This means that if you were in the middle of running errands for the Ular Boys and die in a way that triggers this glitch, you cannot speak to the leader of the Reapers if you hadn't already. Even if you have already talked to all the faction leaders, this glitch is annoying in that you cannot toggle the markers indicating the hideouts on you HUD off without also turning off those that indicate mission objectives, so "Ular Boys HQ" and the other 2 will appear next to the logo in that direction for the rest of the game. There is apparently no way to fix this for that save, as it is saved when you save the game, so saving and reloading doesn't help. But what's worse, if you try to load a save from before the glitch happened before restarting your system, then that save becomes corrupted with the same glitch. Doing missions doesn't help either, as one person I know of had this glitch and attempted to get it to reset by completing the faction and agency missions, hoping that the "New missions unlocked" sequence would fix it, to no avail. The only ways to fix this that I have seen are to either a)restart your game, an idea whose appeal likely depends on your progress so far, or b)keep several saves from the same game, and if you activate the glitch, turn your system off and reload the save before the glitch happened, not the auto save. The latter also appears not to trigger the glitch at all if you load the manual save instead of the auto-save when you die. And since the game doesn't give true checkpoints in some cases anyways, loading a manual save from the beginning of the mission isn't all that bad.

Sorry for the long post, but I felt people should know about this. I'm surprised it hasn't been patched yet, but on the other hand, the developer who allowed such an enormous mistake through testing in the first place probably hasn't even checked yet.

duchaked:
so saints row 2 except bigger and badder?

...man i need to get this game hahaha

Not really, Saint's Row 2 has infinitely more charm

Hubilub:

duchaked:
so saints row 2 except bigger and badder?

...man i need to get this game hahaha

Not really, Saint's Row 2 has infinitely more charm

I agree, this is more like Mercenaries 2, except the grapple hook is infinitely more useful, not all buildings are destructible, and the protagonist's incidental dialogue is more amusing in that instead of the same 10 lines, he will be thrown from an exploding helicopter, fail a parachute landing, roll over 200 times while sliding down the side of a mountain, get up and say one of 3 lines, all of which are something along the lines of "Ouch, that was too close." Which I find much more amusing because he is not trying to prove his macho-ness, like Mattias, but is merely programmed with so few reactions to pain that anything more than a bullet graze will receive a disproportionately calm reaction, delivered with no sarcasm. Apparently the developers lost the file with the sounds for "Horrible laceration, burning and bone fractures on 90% of body" right before it was time to make the first disc, luckily for us that's not so bad.

Oh yes, and you don't use airstrikes, you hijack a jet or helicopter and surf it like Yahtzee said, thus making you the airstrike, and as planes and helicopters are steerable, the airstrikes are more accurate than some of those in Mercenaries 2.

Hubilub:

duchaked:
so saints row 2 except bigger and badder?

...man i need to get this game hahaha

Not really, Saint's Row 2 has infinitely more charm

haha I'm playing it right now
can't stop collecting sports cars...

but I'm always running out of ammo

Surprised he didn't comment on the horrible vihicle section.

Great game though for blowing some hours, not good if you intend to play through it in one go

and yahtzee strikes again, with yet another review that's right on target but will get labeled as biased by people that disagree.

Wowww.. Lots of cats in this one! but other than that great review,
Great game to be a dick

So how's the bar doing, Yahtzee?

I watched the IGN review before this one, and I gotta say.

They were nearly exactly the same review.

First one in a while I've actually been in hysterics with. Love that he pointed out the fact that grappling the ground below you prevents you from getting fall damage. Laughed quite a bit when I noticed that for myself to begin with anyway.

Loved the homoeopathy bit.

not unlike saints row 2. Just cause 2 brings "FUN" back to games. Super tight review. Loved it.

Safe-Keeper:
Loved the homoeopathy bit.

oh yeah that was brilliant :()

Really liked this review and it was surprisingly more like a "real" review (don't know how else to put it) than previous shows.

Side note: I really like this game it's just so much fun.

Haven't laughed that hard in a while. I might rent this game just to do half the crap you said.

I love this line:
"Some say that's enough. Some say I'm too hard to please. But some can shut their fucking mouths."

Hilarious, as always! This was practically cats: the review though; why so many kitties? :P

it is

I loved it...especially the end with the tiger...sorry lack of sleep...anyway I absolutely love his reviews they're completely awesome.

i love the fact that you can shhot through the cockpit of a helicopter, except most cockpits are bullet resistant to 27mm rounds

Cats! Soo many cats!

fyrsten:
Surprised he didn't comment on the horrible vihicle section.

Great game though for blowing some hours, not good if you intend to play through it in one go

I think he was too busy hooking onto airplanes instead.

Lerxst:
We all realize the game title is a play off of America's invasion in Panama - Operation Just Cause - right?

Yes, but I don't think a lot of people got it.

Just as somehow I think a lot of people missed the subtext(s) present in Mercenaries 2 even if it wasn't all that good, along with the fact that it apparently greatly upset Hugo Chavez. :)

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