I Hit It With My Axe: Episode Six: His Body Closes the Door with its Pieces

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Episode Six: His Body Closes the Door with its Pieces

The party tries to kill some elves, and close a door.

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Player assumption vs DM's intent always ends up being a tricky situation to navigate at the table. Although the image of hitting some dude so hard that pieces of him ricochet off the far wall to slam the other door closed is interesting to visualize.

This show gets more and more interesting each time I watch it.

Also, exploding bodies to close doors?
Awesome.

Ok then since not much happens visually this time i came prepared so instead of watching the video and being bored. I played the video and listend to it while i animated. SO this has being the most 2nd useful video on the escapist first being the last ep of doomsday arcade which that one i did watch. So i guess im going to change from the usual im only watchin for badges to make more.

Yep, that bit about bodypieces closing doors was good. I can hear my own players bicker over such things. Also, why was TNT-guy not in the credits?

EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!! Alfred Nobel didn't invent TNT. He invented Dynamite. TNT was invented by Joseph Wilbrand!

Sew his balls to his thigh...

Heh, don't want to get on her bad side.

That was a good episode.

this might be fun to watch if the editing was such where you could not hear the girls talking.

i still consider this show nothing more then crappy youtube vids why the hell is it on here?

mazery:
this might be fun to watch if the editing was such where you could not hear the girls talking.

This discussion would be more fun to read if people were at least amusing when they posted pointless whining.

Shouldn't 'peices' be spelled 'pieces'?

EDIT: Sorry, looks like you guys caught that. Just struck me as odd, I guess...

This about as boring as The Bounty Hunter. Only it didn't cost $40 million to make... and it wasn't nearly two hours long... and it didn't cost me 6 to watch... and I didn't fall asleep half way through.

hmm, put into that perspective I don't mind it at all. I watch them for some reason and it gives me an excuse to whine incessantly.

Somehow I think the other videos these girls do would be a lot more entertaining. Oh man that would be so fucking entertaining!!!

chepenoyo:

mazery:
this might be fun to watch if the editing was such where you could not hear the girls talking.

This discussion would be more fun to read if people were at least amusing when they posted pointless whining.

I second that. While I don't consider this to be the show of the century it is fun enough to watch, especially since I know people like them. Only the people I know aren't strippers and pornstars, & a hairdresser. So that makes them infinitely more interesting than listening to the people that invade my house three times a week. Back to the whining. There are shows I dislike on The Escapist, but I don't hop on every damn board and bitch about each episode. I just leave it alone and go on with my life. Get over it. The shows here and apparently no amount of your bitching is making it go away. So shut the hell up and leave the rest of us in peace.

Exploding bodies to close doors?! FTW! :D

Beardman was the only thing that kept me watching. I want more beardman

It was great when Kim rolled that 20 and made an enemy explode to close a door but all of a sudden...double doors. REALLY Zak!? C'mon with that, it was getting good till you threw that curve ball at them.

Nobel invented Dynamite

neither TNT nor "Chinese" Gunpowder XD

Cosplay Horatio:
It was great when Kim rolled that 20 and made an enemy explode to close a door but all of a sudden...double doors. REALL Zak!? C'mon with that, it was getting good till you threw that curve ball at them.

agreed, not to get all up in his thing but let them have some fun with it

"why can't I sneak past -sadface-"
Awww poor girl -offers hug-
You can not sneak past because you are denied by the DM(Douche Man)'zak'.
That is the only part I watched the rest I played in the back ground.

This is my feelings towards me still not getting a badge from this show.
DOCTOR OCTAGONOPUS!
BLARGH!

Bloodysoldier:
"why can't I sneak past -sadface-"
Awww poor girl -offers hug-
You can not sneak past because you are denied by the DM(Douche Man)'zak'.

Fast not past, he was saying that sneaking requires you to move slowler. Thus it's impossible to move both quickly and stealthily.

Slycne:

Bloodysoldier:
"why can't I sneak past -sadface-"
Awww poor girl -offers hug-
You can not sneak past because you are denied by the DM(Douche Man)'zak'.

Fast not past, he was saying that sneaking requires you to move slowly. Thus it's impossible to move both quickly and stealthily.

Expeditious Retreat or Haste says otherwise. Or, metaphorically, Time Stop.

Slycne:

Bloodysoldier:
"why can't I sneak past -sadface-"
Awww poor girl -offers hug-
You can not sneak past because you are denied by the DM(Douche Man)'zak'.

Fast not past, he was saying that sneaking requires you to move slowly. Thus it's impossible to move both quickly and stealthily.

You have not played many stealth games have you. I suggest go picking up thief, or why not try sneaking fast in real life(That would involve you stepping out of the safety of your home, you know the big bright scary place). You will see it is possible.

A bit of a controlling DM, but I'm a player who gets my way. (though my way was reasonable and logical) Now he could add a sneak and maybe search check just to make sure she does or does not step on a bone or slip and make a loud sound that alerts a horde of face rapping monsters. But hey not all DMs are cool.

This series still blows. I normally don't like being that blunt, but there's so little effort here that it has to be said.

Abedeus:

Slycne:

Bloodysoldier:
"why can't I sneak past -sadface-"
Awww poor girl -offers hug-
You can not sneak past because you are denied by the DM(Douche Man)'zak'.

Fast not past, he was saying that sneaking requires you to move slowly. Thus it's impossible to move both quickly and stealthily.

Expeditious Retreat or Haste says otherwise. Or, metaphorically, Time Stop.

Hide and Move Silently are based off your normal movement speed.

Your Move Silently check is opposed by the Listen check of anyone who might hear you. You can move up to one-half your normal speed at no penalty. When moving at a speed greater than one-half but less than your full speed, you take a -5 penalty. It's practically impossible (-20 penalty) to move silently while running or charging.

Noisy surfaces, such as bogs or undergrowth, are tough to move silently across. When you try to sneak across such a surface, you take a penalty on your Move Silently check as indicated below.

I would interpret that to mean there are simply some actions that are neigh impossibly difficult to do quickly, just because you can move faster doesn't mean you suddenly become less noticeable over the same stretch of distance. If you have access to Time Stop than sneaking past some dudes is the least of your worries.

Bloodysoldier:

A bit of a controlling DM, but I'm a player who gets my way. (though my way was reasonable and logical) Now he could add a sneak and maybe search check just to make sure she does or does not step on a bone or slip and make a loud sound that alerts a horde of face rapping monsters. But hey not all DMs are cool.

Everyone DMs a little differently with regards to how strictly they interrupt the rules, but I don't see the issue here. She asked to sneak, he responded 'yes she could but it was slower to sneak', but I take it they wanted to quickly check on their companions who fell down the hole. Video ends with her saying she wants to sneak fast.

Bloodysoldier:

You have not played many stealth games have you. I suggest go picking up thief, or why not try sneaking fast in real life(That would involve you stepping out of the safety of your home, you know the big bright scary place). You will see it is possible.

Make up your mind are we basing this discussion on real life or a game setting? Games are free to adjust things like AI competency, fields of view, etc. And I would guess D&D sneak rules are structured around the idea that, especially in low light, human sight is drawn to movement. In real life, you can't sneak like you see in videogames and movies. Rather than getting into a pissing match about our respective real life ability and knowledge of sneaking, I am going to default someone proven to be clearly our superior. If it was as easy as you make it out to be, why would Carlos Hathcock crawl 1,500 yards inch-by-inch, taking 4 days, to snipe a NVA general.

body explodes closing door! awesome!
I dont remember him saying it was two doors until the door was closed

Slycne:

Your Move Silently check is opposed by the Listen check of anyone who might hear you. You can move up to one-half your normal speed at no penalty. When moving at a speed greater than one-half but less than your full speed, you take a -5 penalty. It's practically impossible (-20 penalty) to move silently while running or charging.

Noisy surfaces, such as bogs or undergrowth, are tough to move silently across. When you try to sneak across such a surface, you take a penalty on your Move Silently check as indicated below.

I would interpret that to mean there are simply some actions that are neigh impossibly difficult to do quickly, just because you can move faster doesn't mean you suddenly become less noticeable over the same stretch of distance.

The earlier version is right: Whatever your speed is, you can do half it at no penalty, and between x0.5 and x1.0 of it at -5. Being near impossible to run while sneaking is what the -20 represents. 3rd ed said this more explicitly: Magic users get to do amazing magical things, so skill based characters should get to do amazing, seemingly impossible feats, too. Everyone gets their moment in the limelight. A -20 penalty to a check represents saying "That's basically impossible, but hey, you're a hero. Go for it." And at higher levels, heroes can get away with an impossibility at a time, maybe even juggle two. And what the game thinks is impossible is set by your normal speed, not absolute distances. Faster people also sneak faster.

I want to hear if bloodysoldier's character ends up smelling faintly of vinegar after his next roleplaying session. It would confirm my theory of the Solidarity Between Evil DMs. Calling a DM evil? Safe. Calling a DM demonic? Heck, mine would enjoy that. Calling them a douche? Sounds like a sure way to bring on a curse that has you smelling of vinegar and followed around by pixies asking if you have that "unclean feeling" and if they can help for the whole next session.

Slycne:

Make up your mind are we basing this discussion on real life or a game setting? Games are free to adjust things like AI competency, fields of view, etc. And I would guess D&D sneak rules are structured around the idea that, especially in low light, human sight is drawn to movement. In real life, you can't sneak like you see in videogames and movies. Rather than getting into a pissing match about our respective real life ability and knowledge of sneaking, I am going to default someone proven to be clearly our superior. If it was as easy as you make it out to be, why would Carlos Hathcock crawl 1,500 yards inch-by-inch, taking 4 days, to snipe a NVA general.

Make up my mind? You just brought in movies to this conversation, you sir or madam have a lot of gall. The little research project you spent hours on doing is a bit useless to prove that sneaking at a quicker pace is impossible. Let us take the environment they are in. A dungeon made of possibly stone, and not untamed brush in the thick jungles of Nam. Now let us take the environment mister hathcock had. A thick jungle environment, you can not even walk with out moving a decent amount of vegetation.(But you might not know because it would take you leaving the safety of your home and venturing out into the real world, you know the big bright scary place)

Get a better example and use more of that thing inside your skull we call a brain. Now I shall point and laugh. -points- har dee har -sigh- Would you like to re-edit your example? If so circle Y, if not circle N, and state your reason why on this line _____________________________. Thank you have a nice day/evening/night/morning, and sorry. -grins-

chepenoyo:

I want to hear if bloodysoldier's character ends up smelling faintly of vinegar after his next roleplaying session. It would confirm my theory of the Solidarity Between Evil DMs. Calling a DM evil? Safe. Calling a DM demonic? Heck, mine would enjoy that. Calling them a douche? Sounds like a sure way to bring on a curse that has you smelling of vinegar and followed around by pixies asking if you have that "unclean feeling" and if they can help for the whole next session.

One of my characters do smell like vinegar, he carries bread and vinegar around like a hater. I've been cursed a few times but that is because I: A- Read a book that had a curse hidden in the text.(which I loved because it was creative and made a good laugh) B- Playing a character that feels the need to do something he knows is probably a trap(Also good for laughs) C:- I transferred a curse from someone to me for some heroic reason.(Not as funny)

I have not had pixies follow me and asking me if I had that "unclean feeling" but I like that idea -gives you a thumps up- at least you would be a great DM unlike old and borring Slycne who follows the rules as if they are set in stone. As stated in the book and by the makers of DnD. you can change, get rid of, add, or what ever you want to the rules.

The thing that bugs me about this series is that I can't shake an overwhelming feeling that they're "doing it wrong".

The tabletop gaming group I participate in does crazy creative stuff all the time but there's never, ever, a full-on bickering session between the players and the GM (DM).

On one side, some of the party instigated the issue by outright denying a GM ruling, "the door /is/ closed. The door /is/ closed. On the other side, the GM obviously failed to curtail the argument by being more forthright about the state of the door and what the characters' actions will do to have an effect on it.

Overall, though, I'm left wondering if anybody at the table is having fun. I really cant tell here.

Also, I think the reason people are upset with the series is with the pointlessness of it. Without a more clear picture of what's going on, we're left without a reason to /care/ if the door is closed, if the spider lady killed herself, what they're blowing up with the chinese gunpowder, or whatever.

HAHA! Yeah! This is the kind of banter I enjoy reading!

I'm fairly certain that in this circumstance She was trying to do an action with someone else. Her sneaking would slow her down if she wanted to go as fast as the other character and since she was out in the open it wouldn't be necessary for her to sneak.

@SatinePhoenix: OMG, you actually do read the comments?
Wow, respect for that iron will not to start a flamewar with these haters.
*thumbs up*

robakerson:
we're left without a reason to /care/ if the door is closed, if the spider lady killed herself, what they're blowing up with the chinese gunpowder, or whatever.

There are some bad guys behind the door, so they are trying to close it.

No spider lady suicide was mentioned.

They blew up a wall between them and the spider lady.

It utterly fails to be rocket science, dude.

CalebtheHeretic:
@SatinePhoenix: OMG, you actually do read the comments?
Wow, respect for that iron will not to start a flamewar with all that haters.
*thumbs up*

We girl gamers deal with people being...less-than-enlightened...all day long. If we let it get to us, we'd never get anything done.

The same goes probably times a million for Satine, since she's in porn.

I'm still enjoying this, so good job.

C'mon, Zak... she rolled a damn 20, just give it to her. Is the status of a door worth spending five minutes arguing your player out of feeling like she did something awesome, instead of just saying "fuckin' A, that was sweet!" and moving on?

This show is 100% better since the editing slowed down. The cutting every 3 seconds was giving me a headache.

Looking forward to the fate of the Spider Queen! Have faith, ladies!

Well, this is getting better and better. It did get better at episode 5. Yay?

Also, I have a general rule that if a player rolls a 20, (or a max number on anything whose sum is higher than 11), it works so wonderfully well everything ends up wonderful. So I'd have let her close the door with his chunks of brain matter. somehow

The flipside of this is when they roll 1. I'm actually thinking I need a more cruel critical error table.

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