Zero Punctuation: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

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Love the bit about the pink dress, and the Pattinson reference. Actual LOL ensued both times.

I was waiting for this review since you mentioned the game on Twitter, and it did not disappoint.

Also a very good point about how our personalities are not the same when we're playing games compared to how we are in real life.

Good show Sir Croshaw..i laughed and i think i might have even cried.

Pink dresses are the bane of all existence.

Hehe, it can't go wrong with Yahtzee and silent hill! :D

MaxChaos:
I was all set to buy this on PSP until he said it wasn't scary.

It's odd, albeit convenient, to get actual consumer advice from Yahtzee. It's like sex with an ATM.

YOU ASSHOLE! YOU MADE ME TRY TO IMAGINE THAT SHIT! JESUS CHIRST THE PAIN!

Anyways, this is probbly one of the best positive reviews by Yahtzee.

Thunder... Thunder ... Thunder Cats HOOOOOO!!!

I'm gettinng the PS2 verson but i'm got to get it online because no shops are selling it because it's a previous generation game . Assholes.

Icecoldcynic:
What a surprise, more dumping on the wii. Not that I don't agree, but it's just getting old now.

"Oh fuck a pink dress, shit's getting real!" - Brilliant.

Dumping on the Wii will never get old. The Wii deserves to be dumped on at every given opportunity. Until Nintendo wants to release a proper next gen system and not just a gamecube with a bad gimmick they deserve all the scorn and criticism that they get.

What Nintendo is really doing with their games is replacing all the lovely beer with tea, usually Earl Grey.

Okay, review was average (but still funny, mind you). Except for one truly hilarious bit - "Shuttered Mammaries".

pedroREE:
Cats>Dogs

Seconded.

"Oh fuck a pink dress, shit's getting real!" was definatly my favourite quote too.

wow, two wii games in a row Yahtzee!? thats pleasing for me, because it means you won't rat on a particular wii game that i would rather you left un-shat-on... then again, it probably won't get over to you for another 3 months anyway -_-

i only hope his description of the running away scenes was packed with hyperbole, because i've got the game in my house (am saving it until after the exams) and have been really looking forward to it, hoping for a good scare... I haven't played many Horror games though, so maybe i won't be as experienced as our good critic here and will find them slightly scarier than housewives.

If there's no very little blood, why's it rated M? Also, why is there a creepy-looking little girl on a swing there on the cover?

I liked the cats better, but what animal will he use next?
The arcade was poo.
Really funny review, I was waiting for this one.

...why did the fat fifteen year old girl urinate on Robert Pattinson when it caught up to him?

riottrio:
i only hope his description of the running away scenes was packed with hyperbole, because i've got the game in my house (am saving it until after the exams) and have been really looking forward to it, hoping for a good scare...

Sorry, man. He really wasn't even exaggerating when he describes how boring the chase scenes are, or how clinically scare-free the game is.

Actually, you know what's ten times scarier than Silent HIll: Shattered Memories?

Those commercials where people's credit scores are represented by furry, living numbers. Jesus Christ, those things freak me right out.

If they made a game in which you had to run for your life from those abominable specters of financial woe made flesh, now THAT would really hit the terror button hard.

Kollega:
Okay, review was average (but still funny, mind you). Except for one truly hilarious bit - "Shuttered Mammaries".

pedroREE:
Cats>Dogs

Seconded.

Turd... I mean, third.

In addition, that pink dress bit was my favourite.

That was good. I mean reaaaaaally good. I liked the twilight reference. But most of all I liked Shattered Memories going Godzilla on Homecoming and that other shit title. LOOOOOOOK! HOR HOR HOR! Keep in mind that not every week Y gets to give a thumbs up and be funny at the same time. The last time that happened was Infamous I think.

And from now on, anyone and everyone should be afraid of this:

image

Grrrr, motherfucker, grrr.

Xanthious:

Icecoldcynic:
What a surprise, more dumping on the wii. Not that I don't agree, but it's just getting old now.

"Oh fuck a pink dress, shit's getting real!" - Brilliant.

Dumping on the Wii will never get old. The Wii deserves to be dumped on at every given opportunity. Until Nintendo wants to release a proper next gen system and not just a gamecube with a bad gimmick they deserve all the scorn and criticism that they get.

Just because they deserve it doesn't mean it's still entertaining.

I know everyone and their dog has said it but, pink dress! Shit's getting real!

that has to be one of the best lines in ZP history along with 'pants on head retarded'.

I thought this game would fit into people's phobias by exposing them to their real phobias. Like a claustrophobic person plays the game and in one point the character gets chucked into a small, dark and confined area with no obvious means of escape and a tense atmosphere. That would make a claustrophobe very tense and maybe frighten them, but the game doesn't do anything like that.

Icecoldcynic:
What a surprise, more dumping on the wii. Not that I don't agree, but it's just getting old now.

"Oh fuck a pink dress, shit's getting real!" - Brilliant.

What? That was completely legit. The games DO take forever to release. Some (excitebots (I'm pretty sure Yahtzee won't like this)) don't get released at all in some parts of the world and the hardware DOES have problems. And before you say "you don't understand" I own one, love it and called in Jeoff.

As always, great video.

Does the game lack any blood or horror because Nintendo are still stuck in that anti-nastiness mindset that goes back to the bloodless SNES version of Mortal Kombat?

I hit with my Axe was released one hour before ZP, and it's been 20 minutes and ZP has nearly 50 more comments. But than again IHWMA only has 1.

Best ZP since Fallout 3.

Little Duck:

Icecoldcynic:
What a surprise, more dumping on the wii. Not that I don't agree, but it's just getting old now.

"Oh fuck a pink dress, shit's getting real!" - Brilliant.

What? That was completely legit. The games DO take forever to release. Some (excitebots (I'm pretty sure Yahtzee won't like this)) don't get released at all in some parts of the world and the hardware DOES have problems. And before you say "you don't understand" I own one, love it and called in Jeoff.

You misunderstood my post entirely. I dislike the wii, I own one but never play on it. My post was basically saying that insulting the wii just isn't entertaining anymore.

Wislong:
I came. I saw. I lol'd (:

... Yoink!

Aside from the fact that we all have diffrent tastes thx yahtzee for bringing this game to my attention. I like the fact that they atualy useing the wii for some mildly innotive ideas.

Gd epp yahtzee

MaxChaos:
I was all set to buy this on PSP until he said it wasn't scary.

It's odd, albeit convenient, to get actual consumer advice from Yahtzee. It's like sex with an ATM.

It's not scary, but I found the atmoshpere of the non dark world very entertaining, what with the flashlight and phone and things.
Also the in the dark world you tend to get mixed up alot and end up going the wrong way. If the dark world wasnt in the game I think it would be awesome.

''Now with Dog''

That part made me cry. HAHA.

I always knew this game was shit, but this review has just confirmed it more so, they took the BEST Silent Hill in the series and turned it into shit, they made Harry a fucking pussy and made the town of Silent Hill a joke, if they wanna do a true remake just take the first Silent Hill and up the graphics

If I were a lesser man, I'd insinuate that there's a bit of waffling between Homecoming's "over the top violence is not as good as 'scary without needing monsters jumping out everywhere' (ie. SH2)" vs. this review's "where's my damn bucket of blood?"

Oh crap, I just did. >_>

I assume what we're seeking in our SH games is a proper balance between "not scary, grotesque, or bloody at all" like this game was and "stabbing a zombie nurse in the tits in the first five minutes" that Homecoming was.

So its better than recent Silent Hills, but not as scary as the old ones? Yeah I agree with that.

PayJ567:
This was a great review. Liked it from start to finish.

Have to agree. Best ZP in a long, long time.

I died at the Robert Pattison analogy. Well played, sir.

Finally a very funny review again! (:

Very good material this week. When Yahtzee is at his best, I feel his reviews are real reviews with a stylishly comical twist, instead of streams of quasi-random expletives and funny pictures that bash shitty games.

Not that quasi-random expletives and funny pictures don't entertain me, mind you, especially if they bash shitty games.

Ok so Silent Hill 2 is at the top of the scale, and from what I got here I can assume Shattered Memories is a third of the way down the scale.

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