Zero Punctuation: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

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Holy shit, two not-entirely-negative reviews in a row??? What the hell is going on HERE?!
Strangely accurate points, though - my opinion of the game was eerily similar.

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

"Oh fuck, a pink dress! Shit's getting reeeal!"

Oh god...

I loled...

and loled...

and loooooled...

bwahahaha

Grand_Marquis:
Holy shit, two not-entirely-negative reviews in a row??? What the hell is going on HERE?!
Strangely accurate points, though - my opinion of the game was eerily similar.

dude, thats actually three in a row

two of them wii games

RelexCryo:
I originally complained about how the ice world was blue. It *is* a calming color. I also complained about how it didn't look like a true Silent Hill game, without gore.

But I disagree with the "no weapons" thing. If you were in a horror situation, you would try to find a weapon. Running around without one is actually less realistic. Most people wouldn't be pacifists when demons are trying to kill them. He could at least get a pipe or a baseball bat. Sure, being weaponless might be more scary, but it's less realistic.

well, there are two things here:
1. the blue was most definitely meant to offset the atmosphere, to creep you out (think of why a clown is creepy. colorful, happy, silly, but ultimately a mind rapist) the problem is, they didnt get it quite right, which is upsetting, because the game ended up only being horror to people with issues related to the story.

interestingly, near the end, there is a moment where everything felt right (when you leave your apartment) there, despite the cool and calm environment, you cant help feel disturbed by the alice in wonderland type anomalies, a little more of that would have made the game miles better, i mean, think about eternal darkness, the game's sanity effects were what gave it its horrible charm, they didnt need half birthed babies hanging from gooey vagina monsters to freak you out.

2.in a horror situation, you would think grabbing a weapon and fighting stuff off would be the smart thing, but its NOT, that should be a last resort, they actually had weapons in the game (that you pick up and use once like the flare) but they found playtesters would get combative, hold their ground, take out one shock, then die from a mob attacking him, even when gaming, your instinct can get the better of you, and in harry's case, he isnt fighting a dog, or a rabid raccoon, they are fleshy monsters, he has NO idea how to fight them off, or what could kill them (maybe they cant be killed?) so he must flee.

remember when you watched a jason movie, and someone (the jock) would always get brave, and pick up a weapon to kill jason with, only for it to not effect him at all, resulting in that guy's brutal death? yea, its like that. dont screw with things you know nothing about, and your brain knows that, and so your flight mechanism is much better for a situation that your fight mechanism

Godofgame67:
I was hoping it would be have been better I would have loved to seen Yahtzee "remove three of his vertebra, peel his spine back and eat his own ass."

that doesnt apply, it was in reference to "the next" as in, whatever the latest one was (i think it was homecoming) he even announced in that review that he wouldnt have to eat his ass, the bet has been off now for like, a year

It was a cool review, and definitely interesting, but he never really stated whether or not he liked the game. I don't expect him to give numeric scores, obviously, but at least something to tell me whether or not the game was, in his opinion, worth the $(Whatever amount of money he paid).

Personally, I've played the game, and while it wasn't exactly terrifying or traumatizing, it was amazing at putting you in the right mindset, to the point that you practically scare yourself.

A decent horror game that has absolutely no horror at all...Oh dears.

One of my favorite things about the internet is when clicking reload on a page causes a post to be sent twice. This post, for example, which used to read exactly the same as the next one. How thoroughly fascinating and rewarding this post is. Be sure to read them all.

I'd certainly give YC's review a better grade than he'd give it if it were written by someone else.

One thing I'm still pondering, perhaps because of the slice of my forehead hanging from the Winnebago of that chatty hydrocephaloid with an iPhone:

Isn't it possible the Wii version's more sanitized than the ones on PSP and PS2? Aren't the Wii versions of survival horror games typically the most censored? Truthfully, I haven't been following this because I'd given up on post-Japan Silent Hill sequels and remakes, but from what I recall of other games (like the noble yet restrained Manhunt 2), the version for Wii is usually the most adult-unfriendly. Is it possible that the corporate blue color and other aspects of misplaced tranquility in this remake are specific to the Wii?

I fully expect to be proved wrong about this, but a man can dream, for the love of Peter Joel Witkin (who was playing with corpses in naughty photos at around the time the first SH game was confected).

hcig:

RelexCryo:
I originally complained about how the ice world was blue. It *is* a calming color. I also complained about how it didn't look like a true Silent Hill game, without gore.

But I disagree with the "no weapons" thing. If you were in a horror situation, you would try to find a weapon. Running around without one is actually less realistic. Most people wouldn't be pacifists when demons are trying to kill them. He could at least get a pipe or a baseball bat. Sure, being weaponless might be more scary, but it's less realistic.

well, there are two things here:
1. the blue was most definitely meant to offset the atmosphere, to creep you out (think of why a clown is creepy. colorful, happy, silly, but ultimately a mind rapist) the problem is, they didnt get it quite right, which is upsetting, because the game ended up only being horror to people with issues related to the story.

interestingly, near the end, there is a moment where everything felt right (when you leave your apartment) there, despite the cool and calm environment, you cant help feel disturbed by the alice in wonderland type anomalies, a little more of that would have made the game miles better, i mean, think about eternal darkness, the game's sanity effects were what gave it its horrible charm, they didnt need half birthed babies hanging from gooey vagina monsters to freak you out.

2.in a horror situation, you would think grabbing a weapon and fighting stuff off would be the smart thing, but its NOT, that should be a last resort, they actually had weapons in the game (that you pick up and use once like the flare) but they found playtesters would get combative, hold their ground, take out one shock, then die from a mob attacking him, even when gaming, your instinct can get the better of you, and in harry's case, he isnt fighting a dog, or a rabid raccoon, they are fleshy monsters, he has NO idea how to fight them off, or what could kill them (maybe they cant be killed?) so he must flee.

remember when you watched a jason movie, and someone (the jock) would always get brave, and pick up a weapon to kill jason with, only for it to not effect him at all, resulting in that guy's brutal death? yea, its like that. dont screw with things you know nothing about, and your brain knows that, and so your flight mechanism is much better for a situation that your fight mechanism

If you attempt to run away from a bear, it will outrun you and kill you. If you stand your ground, it might not do that. If you get a gun, you can simpy kill it despite what the bear *wants* to do. If you attempt to run from a tiger, it will kill you. If you stand your ground, it might not do that. If you have a gun, you can kill it despite what it *wants* to do. If you attempt to run from pretty much any predator, it will outrun and kill you. Predators rarely chase or atack something that holds it's ground. Even when they do, a gun will still kill them.

Explain this to me: Why, if the vast majority of predators in nature are fast enough to outrun us, would a supernatural predator be *slower* than us? It seems like two possibilities are reasonable to me:

A) You can kill it and survive.

B) You cannot kill it OR outrun it, since we can't outrun the vast majority of animal predators, what chance do we have of outrunning a supernatural being? In this scenario, you are guaranteed to die unless you can make the supernatural force happy some how, like convincing the greedy land developers to *not* build a casino/whorehouse on top of the Native American burial ground.

First, you entertain me while I am drunk. Thank you
Second, you are what Vonnegut called a snarf. I think I said something about how great it would be if you recited what he thought a snarf was, and you came close with your toilet seat joke. Bravo.
Third, I finished Trilby's Notes today and I enjoyed it completely. Parsers are fun, I asked about sex, tits, and love and got this response: "I didn't understand love/sex/tits."

TheEnglishman:
I hit with my Axe was released one hour before ZP, and it's been 20 minutes and ZP has nearly 50 more comments. But than again IHWMA only has 1.

But then again IHIWMA is terrible and not worth watching.

Deef:

TheEnglishman:
I hit with my Axe was released one hour before ZP, and it's been 20 minutes and ZP has nearly 50 more comments. But than again IHWMA only has 1.

But then again IHIWMA is terrible and not worth watching.

Well I've never watched the show, don't really know what it's about, but yeah, that was the message I was aiming for.

All I know is, I want dogs on all my headwear now.

I enjoyed that review, very funny. Seems to me though that the developers shifted the series from horror game to psychological thriller.

Well diddle my dog, Yahtzee didn't rip on this game as much as I expected him to. And frankly, I expected him to tear it to shreds after what was said in the Silent Hill 2 review!

Good review Yahtzee. review some total Crap now. i want to hear you rip it to shreds

" Family Oriented.... which is why I live 12,000 miles away from anyone remotely related to me and never write" Amen to that my friend! Family = annoyance beyond that of... most other things. But never as annoying as a f**king child!

"And Possibly Crap in Bed".... all that Branston Pickle getting to ya, eh Yahtzee?

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Silent Hill: Shattered Memories.

Be sure to join the Zero Punctuation Facebook Fan Page.

Watch Video

One of the funniest 'reviews' yet. "Hey, a pink dress. Oh no! Shit's get'n real!" made me laugh out loud. When you paralleled your motivations for sneaking into the girls bathroom between reality and game-reality --- for "illicit sexual thrill" and to check for first-aid in the cisterns --- I thought that was clever and surprisingly relevant.

There is a suspicious amount of health items to be found in the bathroom...

I'm glad you avoided some of the more... perverse imagery. Some of the stuff you say is needlessly disgusting. I paraphrase: masturbating to your sister in the shower and peeling off a babys' face and jerking off with it were more than a little off-putting.

you should do a review of team fortress 2

That pink dress did look rather intimidating... lol

...and possibly crap in bed
wow,some result

Thundercats really had blood in it? I really wish then that I could have seen the version you saw, Yahtzee. I just remember it being a badly-written, albeit well animated, He-Man knockoff that never lived-up to the promise it dangled in front of you of being an epic mash-up of Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, and the legend of King Arthur with a guy that looked like Iron Maiden's Eddie as the villain. With all that, it should have been all sorts of cool, but it ended up being just another dumb kids show. Had it actually been bloodier like you suggest, plus a bit darker and serious, I probably would have liked it a lot more.

Video appears to be broken - Stream not found.

For a while I thought you were losing your touch. But having watched the last batch of reviews (starting with God of War 3) I have been really laughing. ESPECIALLY the Just Cause one. Gods, I laughed so hard I was crying..

Ummm he mentioned there was Snow instead of Fog in this one... there was Snow in the first Silent Hill game... and there is Fog during the day time portions of the game (Just not as much as in the past games)

Also he mentioned the Dark World being Blue... well since it's supposed to be a hellish Icy frozen wasteland that's probably why.

And he mentioned there was very little Blood... apparently he never came across the cabin in the woods in the game where there is a huge bear carcass held up by meat hook and chains with it's side completely torn out, and blood and organs splattered every where... that and the fact that the Bear has a pretty menacing snarl look on it's face... (However depending on how you play the game sometimes it's just a big stuffed bear in the corner which I have never come across so maybe Yahtzee did something different)

Also Yahtzee said it wasn't scary, but I disagree, it was quite creepy to me, and the Raw shocks got my heart beat going several times, there are any unnerving and disturbing moments in the game, but I guess it varies for different people (Although I have never really found any of the Silent Hill games to be that scary, they have a great creepy atmosphere that I love but it never really scared me)

Anyways it was nice to see Yahtzee do a (slightly) positive review for once, I quite enjoyed the game, and will for a long time.

pikmintaro:

And he mentioned there was very little Blood... apparently he never came across the cabin in the woods in the game where there is a huge bear carcass held up by meat hook and chains with it's side completely torn out, and blood and organs splattered every where... that and the fact that the Bear has a pretty menacing snarl look on it's face... (However depending on how you play the game sometimes it's just a big stuffed bear in the corner which I have never come across so maybe Yahtzee did something different)

You can't cite the ONLY place in the entire game where there was blood to disprove him. That was the ONLY place in the game where there was blood. I think there may have also been a nosebleed-sized smear on a fireman's vest somewhere, too. And why should we even be scared by that blood, since it was a hunting lodge and that's where normal people take animals apart? There's no relation to the player, and so there's nothing particularly horrifying about it--unless the game is being marketed exclusively to vegans.

It certainly is not a scary game. I would describe the pervasive atmosphere as "eerie"--and the "nightmare" sections as more irritating than anything. It's more like a "ghost hunters" type special on the discovery channel than survival horror. But on the other hand, I'm re-playing silent hill 2 again, so I'm happy.

Lullabye:
"A pink dress! On no SHITS GET'N REAL!"

Dang, i was going to say that XD

Horny Ico:

Gaming King:
If there's no very little blood, why's it rated M? Also, why is there a creepy-looking little girl on a swing there on the cover?

Through the ground-breaking technology that I invented myself and named "research", I have concluded that an M rating can also be incurred from sexual content like when the shrink asks about your sex life, or how some characters may dress like skanks. As for the little girl -I had to dig into deep government shit for this one- her name is ******

If you would like to hear the rest, please cut off your penis because you don't deserve it. Alternatively, play the games.

Geeze, cut me a break, I'm new to survival horror. >_>

Gaming King:

Horny Ico:

Gaming King:
If there's no very little blood, why's it rated M? Also, why is there a creepy-looking little girl on a swing there on the cover?

Through the ground-breaking technology that I invented myself and named "research", I have concluded that an M rating can also be incurred from sexual content like when the shrink asks about your sex life, or how some characters may dress like skanks. As for the little girl -I had to dig into deep government shit for this one- her name is ******

If you would like to hear the rest, please cut off your penis because you don't deserve it. Alternatively, play the games.

Geeze, cut me a break, I'm new to survival horror. >_>

image
Wait, so the M rating is exclusive to survival horror games? I HAD NO FUCKING CLUE, WITH ALL THE MILITARY SHOOTERS OUT THERE. Gather around, kids, we're playing Leisure Suit Larry!

It doesn't matter how "new" you are to the genre; both of your questions are painfully easy to answer by getting off your lazy ass and back on it when you've come back from buying the damned game. If you're not going to bother doing that, why the fuck should you care enough to ask in the first place? The only conceivable answer is because you're a failure at life.

Horny Ico:

Gaming King:

Horny Ico:

Gaming King:
If there's no very little blood, why's it rated M? Also, why is there a creepy-looking little girl on a swing there on the cover?

Through the ground-breaking technology that I invented myself and named "research", I have concluded that an M rating can also be incurred from sexual content like when the shrink asks about your sex life, or how some characters may dress like skanks. As for the little girl -I had to dig into deep government shit for this one- her name is ******

If you would like to hear the rest, please cut off your penis because you don't deserve it. Alternatively, play the games.

Geeze, cut me a break, I'm new to survival horror. >_>

image
Wait, so the M rating is exclusive to survival horror games? I HAD NO FUCKING CLUE, WITH ALL THE MILITARY SHOOTERS OUT THERE. Gather around, kids, we're playing Leisure Suit Larry!

It doesn't matter how "new" you are to the genre; both of your questions are painfully easy to answer by getting off your lazy ass and back on it when you've come back from buying the damned game. If you're not going to bother doing that, why the fuck should you care enough to ask in the first place? The only conceivable answer is because you're a failure at life.

LOL, that was so mean it made me laugh. I think I like you. You seem fun. XD

Wow, he said it was good... WOW

Did anybody get the image joke with Harry Meson being a face on a meson?

look them up, they're a sub atomic particle
(yes, I know physics... I also failed physics :[)

Personaly I liked The Order cult from SH1 and 3. What happenes to Dahlia at the end of SH1 shows that they're basicaly tampering with forces beyond their complete control.

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