Escape to the Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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Dyp100:
You seriously hate Halo. -Facepalm- I generally like ya stuff untill you bang on Halo every other episode.

But all in all, as good quality as ever.

I agree. Love Movie Bob. But the Halo comments?... Cheapening the review. And thanks to Ebert, haven't we learned that movie reviewers and video game reviewers shouldn't do the cross medium thing?

Shoggoth2588:
I don't think Micheal Bay directing Halo: The Movie would be a bad idea. As was stated in the Revenge of the Fallen review, Bay seems to have an Army fetish and Halo is primarily about Space Marines VS Fanatical Alien Space Marines...and head-crabs who aren't head-crabs...

Yeah, I really think he'd have a field day running around with all that army stuff to play with for that movie. I might actually even see it and I'm not a fan of the Halo series at all. That's pretty much why I like his movies, pure shoot 'em up and tons of explosions and I'm honestly fine with that.

Sadly Bay would ruin even a Halo movie because in order to pull off a war movie you have to have a feeling of the scale of combat, the tenstion that you can die at any moment, and the struggle to survive. Bay.... likes to blow crap up, see big guns shooting stuff, having shinny looking toys, and cleavage. Bay is a 15 year old kid who has no buisness being involved in making movies.
On the topic of horror movie remakes...... Horror lately has gone away from the stuff that messes with your mind so that you scare yourself more than the movie actually tries to, and shifted to this telegraphed "This part is suppose to be suprising so be ready for the most obvious thing to happen next" crap. Remakes of older horror movies are worse because something familiar isn't very scary and when you stick with the original formula your just asking for crap. Plus whats with horror movie characters who aren't the villian. There usally the same high school character types who can't act, have the same tired back plot, and bring nothing interesting to the plate.

it's not like Halo even has a good storyline (beside the anime)so Michael bay would be perfect for that, better than him murdering another series I love. MICHAEL BAY IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH EVIL DEAD I WILL HAVE TO GO ALL BRUCE CAMPBELL ON YOU, BOOMSTICK AND ALL!!!!!!!!

Micheal Bay suffers from a Reverse-Midas' Touch meaning that anything he touches turns into a big steaming pile of dogs#!t. As far as a halo movie is concerned I would prefer if someone with something resembling directing skill actually be involved in the development, and I'd prefer if we went with another Spartan and left John-117's (Master Chief) continuity alone.

Thought the snoring in the intro was a little cliche, other then that great review, and Michael bay doing halo, nice dig as well as a good idea.

walsfeo:

wadark:
In conclusion, bad movies don't exist. There are simply movies that more people found unenjoyable.

Good movies don't exist, there are simply movies that less people found unenjoyable.

Bad movies exist, so do good movies, even if it's all on a relative and sliding scale.

Movies can be bad for a variety of reasons - poor cinematography, sound editing, script, acting, directing, and so-forth. A person's tolerance for suck defines their enjoyment, and enjoyment is very subjective.

Critics are people who think about movies not just let them be poured into their brain without any judgement. A good critic can help you get more out of a movie you decide to see, or keep you from wasting time and cash (which could really be considered just more time) on both stuff you wouldn't enjoy and generically substandard garbage as well.

So yeah, you can say "enjoyment is subjective and everyone has a right to enjoy what they want" and I'd have to agree with you; but it is easy to judge quality, even if it is quality on a temporary and relative basis.

What's so wrong with having movies "poured into your brain without judgement" as you say? I thought film was a medium intended for the audience to simply enjoy it. Why does it have to be judged? More specifically, why does it have to be publicly judged? Am I somehow "wrong" for watching movies without microanalyzing every nuance of the film or even really analyzing it at all?

The variety of reasons for a movie being bad that you listed, are, themselves, subjective. Cinematography is only defined as "poor" because there is a "definition" of what good cinematography is, and that definition was made by someone or a group of people who defined "good" by their own subjective position.

There was a fair bit of criticism for the Bourne movies and their use of 100% handheld cameras because it made the cameras "shaky". But I thought it added a degree of realism to the film and heightened the sense of urgency.

You say that its a person's tolerance for "suck" that defines their individual enjoyment, but who defines what "Suck" is? And how is that person's opinion of "suck" any more credible than mine? Because he went to film school, maybe? Movies are a creative medium, and as such, conventional standards shift with time. What was considered bad 50 years ago, may not be so today. Look at painting and the Renaissance; that represented a fundamentally large shift in the style of art, and subsequently shifted the ideas of what was considered good and bad. Film is even more in flux than that, so with the standards so constantly shifting, how can we really set a clear definition of what makes good directing/acting/scriptwriting/etc.?

Critics can help you avoid spending time and money, true. But you have to go into a review understanding that the reviewer might not have the same standards as you. I've never once let a reviewer keep me from seeing a movie. I read their opinion and take it to heart, but I won't let someone else's opinion keep me from something. Sure, I may be disappointed by the movie and I may find out that the reviewer and I share an opinion on the film, but I may also find the movie very enjoyable and find that I don't agree with the reviewer at all; such is the nature of film, and I would rather put up with 1000 movies that I don't like, than miss out on 1 movie I would have loved because some reviewer told me not to "waste my time and money". I think that anyone who decides not to see a movie because of a reviewer's comments is worse than someone who flocks to see the "generic substandard garbage" year after year.

I don't care if every single reviewer on the planet says that Iron Man 2 is terrible, I will be there at midnight on Thursday to see it and I will judge for myself.

Essentially what I'm saying is, you can judge a movie's quality based on the conventional standards of "good" and "bad". But those standards were, themselves, defined by a subjective source.

My my, it's a good job I paid for the larger videos, or I'd not be able to make out Rorschach that guy at all.

Once I heard Michael Bay I said "Fuck that!" and erased my memory of ever trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. Damn you Bay! You ruin Friday the 13th, it's on, you ruin Nightmare on Elms street, It's personal mother fucker! COME ON! Stop trying to fix things that weren't broke Mr. Bay! How about you try and fix things that are broke! Maybe say....Twilight? I can just imagine that.

Also, when I first heard Earle Haley was playing Freddy, I immediately said, "Yes! Finally someone that can be Freddy just as good as Robert Englund!" but of course, he is ruined by Michael Bay.

Im glad I passed up on this one.

Next Nicholas Cage movie? What happens if it's Kickass 2?

And seriously, if you thought a remake of Nightmare would be any good, you're already dreaming...Mind the claw.

Wickerton:

Dyp100:
You seriously hate Halo. -Facepalm- I generally like ya stuff untill you bang on Halo every other episode.

But all in all, as good quality as ever.

I agree. Love Movie Bob. But the Halo comments?... Cheapening the review. And thanks to Ebert, haven't we learned that movie reviewers and video game reviewers shouldn't do the cross medium thing?

Seriously, dudes, calm the fuck down and grow the fuck up. Halo, when you get right down to it, is not some THOU SHALT NOT TOUCH literary masterpiece. It's just a great multiplayer game with a shitty by-the-numbers sci-fi story to hold it together. I seriously don't see how even Michael Bay could fuck this up.

I love the tag "damn you michael bay."

Um, Bob, you didn't forget and leave Haley in the bubble did you? Because if so, I think you may have smothered the only good thing to be found in this movie. D'oh!
Always check your bubble, Bob. Movie reviewing rule #1.

Man he is great in Human Target.

Hotshots:
great review Bob, but seriously another Halo Jibe?

Se non ti piace Halo, abbastanza giusto ma vaffanculo e mi piacerÓ!

Tip: Swearing at contributors is a bad idea, just because you're writing in Italian doesn't mean nobody can understand it...

How is Bungie milking the series they've only 3 games and in the process of a fourth (ODST doesn't count it's an expansion) that's hardly milking a series.

No movieBob, Bay will continue to ruin what you love. That's why he's acquired the right to Thundercats the Movie and is going to produce the next Captain America and Green Lantern movies. :D

SkullCap:

GameGoddess101:
Michael Bay doing a Halo movie... much better idea than Peter Jackson doing a Halo movie...

AMEN. We don't want a good director like Jackson to ruin his career. Bay has no talent so lets give it to him.

Actually, a sign of a great director is taking something with a bad premise and manage to make something great out of it.

I can think of 28 days later and Danny Boyle as an example. He kicked-started the zombie trend of the 2000s with fast zombies, infections and focus on survival of the group. He picked something that was over-used and gave it a new twist.

Somehow, I think Peter Jackson could make a good movie out of Halo. At worst, Jackson's movies are so-so. I've never seen a bad Peter Jackson movie. Halo could have a few things out there for a good movie. However, I'm not sure if it's going to change the minds of people saying "Halo sux LALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALALALALALALALALA".

NOOOOOOO!!!! Get away from Halo Micheal Bay!!! The story doesn't need to be fucked up by you!!! He'll cast Shia Beowulf or w/e the kid's name is as Master Chief and Megan Fox as Cortana; it'll be like AIDS for your ears and eyes.

A bay directed halo movie? Part of me thinks why not i hate bay and halo but you just know it'd make a fuckton of money and bi anually hang around like a bad smell over the summer. Much like transformers does.

Wickerton:

Dyp100:
You seriously hate Halo. -Facepalm- I generally like ya stuff untill you bang on Halo every other episode.

But all in all, as good quality as ever.

I agree. Love Movie Bob. But the Halo comments?... Cheapening the review. And thanks to Ebert, haven't we learned that movie reviewers and video game reviewers shouldn't do the cross medium thing?

All Ebert taught me was he shouldn't review movies either.

spectrenihlus:
Man he is great in Human Target.

I was actually looking to see if somebody posted that one. Guerrero is easily the most interesting character in the show, mostly due to Haley's acting.

Good call, Dude.

MovieBob:
A Nightmare on Elm Street

This week MovieBob reviews A Nightmare on Elm Street...if he can stay awake long enough.

For more from MovieBob, check out Intermission.

Be sure to join Escape to the Movies Facebook Fan Page here.

Watch Video

Bob I'm sorry you had to pay to see this movie, If I had known it would be awful (I had a hunch) I would have scanned and sent you the free premier pass I got to this...thing

Well a nice straightforward answer on whether I should see this movie, that's nice. Thanks, Bob.

Random Argument Man:

SkullCap:

GameGoddess101:
Michael Bay doing a Halo movie... much better idea than Peter Jackson doing a Halo movie...

AMEN. We don't want a good director like Jackson to ruin his career. Bay has no talent so lets give it to him.

Actually, a sign of a great director is taking something with a bad premise and manage to make something great out of it.

I can think of 28 days later and Danny Boyle as an example. He kicked-started the zombie trend of the 2000s with fast zombies, infections and focus on survival of the group. He picked something that was over-used and gave it a new twist.

Somehow, I think Peter Jackson could make a good movie out of Halo. At worst, Jackson's movies are so-so. I've never seen a bad Peter Jackson movie. Halo could have a few things out there for a good movie. However, I'm not sure if it's going to change the minds of people saying "Halo sux LALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALALALALALALALALA".

I couldn't agree more. In fact, that was the piece of bad news that came out of the awesomeness that was District 9. Video game movies have traditionally been terrible because they have been handed off to bad actors, directors and screen writers. With those three strikes against you, no movie can be good. But then Halo come around and is given a dynamite team like Blomkamp and Jackson...and it falls through and they move on. This undoubtedly would have been at least a good or possibly great movie and now it will never happen. If the Halo movie does happen, and cash cows always do, it will probably be handed off to a couple of hacks for a quick, bad cash-in.

As for the Halo haters: Why? It is not the deepest or most original game but it's a lot of fun and very easy to get into. I don't get the need to slam it unless your trying to distinguish yourself by attacking something popular. Sounds like the reaction to a recent James Cameron movie. Ha

RestamSalucard:

Wickerton:

Dyp100:
You seriously hate Halo. -Facepalm- I generally like ya stuff untill you bang on Halo every other episode.

But all in all, as good quality as ever.

I agree. Love Movie Bob. But the Halo comments?... Cheapening the review. And thanks to Ebert, haven't we learned that movie reviewers and video game reviewers shouldn't do the cross medium thing?

Seriously, dudes, calm the fuck down and grow the fuck up. Halo, when you get right down to it, is not some THOU SHALT NOT TOUCH literary masterpiece. It's just a great multiplayer game with a shitty by-the-numbers sci-fi story to hold it together. I seriously don't see how even Michael Bay could fuck this up.

ever read the Halo books? come back and say that, once you have.

Honestly if they made Halo: Fall of Reach a movie and bay being the director would be bad, the book has its cool action scenes but for alot of it, its just talking and stuff. I would love a Halo: Fall of Reach movie made by a good director but the reason it wont ever be made is becuase it would make them have to finally reveal what Master Chief looks like as he doesnt have the MJOLNIR armor till like 3/4 of the way in the book.

It's not that there's anything really wrong with Halo, it's just the over the top fans that created the stereotype that ruin the image of the game for everyone else. When people think of Halo, they think of 12 year olds screaming at the top of their lungs and fanboys who love the game for it's online. Don't think I've never seen a discussion about the game that actually brings up story elements. A FPS with a good single player campaign that's not NES short would be the perfect FPS for me. Bioshock was fantastic.....and then they went and multiplayer'd the second one.

Back to Freddy:
It's a shame that the remake couldn't end up being a good revival of the franchise. I was kind of looking forward to it and had just recently watched all the previous Nightmare movies and listened to a retrospective of the series that was done by a group of podcasters I like to listen to. Looking at the trailers I thought that it was going to be more of a straight forward retelling rather than a changing around of the story with elements of the original in there (the whole glove in the water part). I'm going to listen to my podcast's review of the movie and maybe I'll go see it during the cheapest times at the theater. Heck, I'm getting married In 16 days, and $10 out of what I get from there can might as well go towards seeing this.

For all the people saying that Halo is not amazing because it is just a solid game with a weak story. See: Avatar. Heck, it is still a must see movie.

Halo is amazing. just admit it. It dethroned Goldeneye on the N64 as the best FPS. No simple feat to be certain.

And get off of that high-horse you seem to be so happy about. Story can only take a game so far. One of the best games ever made is Super Mario Bros. 3. You know the story there? Save the princess.
Why? because. Who cares. just save her. Admit it, you didn't even care about the story because the game is fun to play.

You have to give credit where credit is due.

CaptainCrunch:
MovieBob saying "I don't like Halo, and I don't like Michael Bay. They would probably make a great team," is not the same as "I hate Halo and all the people that love it. I hereby curse them with all the evil powers of Michael Bay!" Keep this in mind when this happens for other games / movies / media you might like. You'll live a lot longer if this kind of thing doesn't stress you out.

God help us if he had cursed Halo with Uwe Boll.

I had no intention of viewing the re-hash of Nightmare on Elm Street, nor any horror flick (they're just not my thing), so I'm glad this one sucks toast since it gives me a reason to not see it.

Also, why is there a horror movie out now? It's April! Horror flicks are usually reserved for Halloween, y'know? Horror flick in the first six months of the year are worthless!

Michael Bay direct the Halo movie?

*Loads Battle Rifle*

I don't think so.

Thanks to you MovieBob I now know who's behind all them crappy horror movie remakes. I was thinking that even with Jackie Earl Haley this movie would be bad. I'm not feeling too bad cuz I'm stoked for the Iron Man 2 review.

Micheal Bay! Doing a Halo movie!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! That's a horrible idea.

Anyways, this movie didn't look that great to me to begin with. I'm not surprised that this movie turned out to be crappy.

Korten12:
ever read the Halo books? come back and say that, once you have.

Honestly if they made Halo: Fall of Reach a movie and bay being the director would be bad, the book has its cool action scenes but for alot of it, its just talking and stuff. I would love a Halo: Fall of Reach movie made by a good director but the reason it wont ever be made is becuase it would make them have to finally reveal what Master Chief looks like as he doesnt have the MJOLNIR armor till like 3/4 of the way in the book.

true, there's that. there's also the fact that you'd have to reveal the Earth forces as fascistic bastards who kidnap and torture children in order to create supersoldiers to "quell rebellions"(i.e. a private army of Jack-Booted RoboCops), and then present that same military force that does that fucked up shit as the heroes of the franchise without a shred of irony or moral ambiguity. this is all in addition to greenlighting a shitty third-rate Ender's Game knockoff for a movie adaptation before making an actual Ender's Game movie. and that's terrible.

orangeapples:
For all the people saying that Halo is not amazing because it is just a solid game with a weak story. See: Avatar. Heck, it is still a must see movie.

Halo is amazing. just admit it. It dethroned Goldeneye on the N64 as the best FPS. No simple feat to be certain.

And get off of that high-horse you seem to be so happy about. Story can only take a game so far. One of the best games ever made is Super Mario Bros. 3. You know the story there? Save the princess.
Why? because. Who cares. just save her. Admit it, you didn't even care about the story because the game is fun to play.

You have to give credit where credit is due.

personally i'm happy to give credit where credit's due. as someone upthread commented, Halo: Combat Evolved revolutionized multiplayer and pioneered the console FPS control scheme that damn near everyone else would follow from there on out. these are massive accomplishments in gaming, and Bungie's legacy is secure behind them alone. that said, the story is shit, the universe really isn't all that interesting, and they've managed to royally fuck up a new gameplay aspect with each successive sequel. i could give a shit less about the franchise at this point, and have absolutely no desire to ever purchase any new entries in the series, or tickets to any film adaptation.

Robert Englund is still a better Freddy then the new guy will ever be, so that's one bad thing about the new guy

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