Escape to the Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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Firia:

lukemdizzle:

Firia:
Actually Bay and Halo would probably go together really well, and do quite nicely complimenting each others strengths. But uh, everything else? Ew.

not at all give us Guillermo del toro, or James Camrine (extremely wishful thinking) somebody who knows how to create a compelling world with cool characters. Also those who say theres no story to work with the covenant side of the story is brilliant. The arbiter was such a good character but some stupid halo fans hated him because he simply wasn't master chief

To be honest, I haven't played to much Halo. :) Like, the first level of the first game, spotted areas of Halo 2, and a fair bit of Halo 3. I got roped into Co-op at a friends place. The story that I observed was a lot of "hurry up and go," big explosions, shock and awe. Which is the very same school of thought as Bay. :) I'm not saying Bay should only do Halo. Heavens no. I wouldn't want him to destroy another beloved franchise like he did to Transformers. (Lord only knows what he'd do to Master Chiefs iconic look.)

Ideally, Bay would retire, living a meager retirement on mere millions made from summer blockbusters on the backs of CGI explosions. Then we could get a REAL film maker in here. You can have your Halo movie, I can have my... freedom from Bay. :) Or at least a real Optimus Prime... least the voice actor is badass (and THE Optimus).

I agree that halo 3s story sucked which was so disappointing to me because of how much I liked 1 and 2s stories

oh boy here comes the shit storm form all the halo fanboys

Ah, more proof that Michael Bay can do no right. Poor Jackie Earle Haley, though. Perfect Freddie replacement and here he is wading through crap.

Sadly, I might still go see it because of Earle Haley's performance. He was the reason I was interested by the idea of a remake in the first place.

I think this is the first movie I'll try to sneak into for free. It just really sounds like I shouldn't spend any money trying to see this. Ever since I found out about this I've just wanted to see it because of Hayley and the fact I love Nightmare. Wish me luck.

Yeah, I suspected this would happen. Hopefully, it'll do poorly enough to deter a sequel. Haley is a great actor, let's be sure to keep him employed but with better films to work in.

As for Bay directing Halo, I say DO IT! If it's one thing Michael Bay knows is military presence in films...then using that presence to blow the shit out of everything. I'd watch it.

Right said Mr. Movie Bob: A bubble of "can't touch this" to whom deserves a bubble. And well loved Jackie Earle Haley is one of them.
With your warning in mind, and my own gut-feeling that this remake will suck simian testis, I'll go watch it just because of Mr. Haley. Thanks again for accurate, mostly reasoned (and frequently funny) advise. :-D

image

Bay would probably make a Halo movie that "invokes" images of the game...

"Raaaaaaargh!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"Murder!"

"Aliens"!"

"DEATH!"

*Sterotype*

Jokes aside, I never planed on seeing an Elmstreet movie, but it's nice to know that my choice is not unfounded.

I liked it. That is all.

ZZoMBiE13:
Is there some clause in the Escapist contracts that require you critics to take potshots at Halo?

No, that's just because it sucks :)

And hear the fanboy's weep! :D

Ugh; I guess I can understand the appeal of making remakes with cashing in on well-appreciated memories of old fans, along without having to establish your own unique story using excess time and energy for an unpredictable result on an audience...

But to capture those memories again, the film genrally has to be "good". I guess the Box Office makes the final verdict on whether or not a film is "good" to the director's eyes, but beyond the rest of the Platinum Dunes movies something should have penetrated them by now.

At least take a gamble at making money with an original idea then more of these shameful remakes.

Edit: Michael Bay and a Halo Movie? That might actually click.

Iosers:
Ugh; I guess I can understand the appeal of making remakes with cashing in on well-appreciated memories of old fans, along without having to establish your own unique story using excess time and energy for an unpredictable result on an audience...

But to capture those memories again, the film genrally has to be "good". I guess the Box Office makes the final verdict on whether or not a film is "good" to the director's eyes, but beyond the rest of the Platinum Dunes movies something should have penetrated them by now.

At least take a gamble at making money with an original idea then more of these shameful remakes.

Edit: Michael Bay and a Halo Movie? That might actually click.

he would probably make master chief the main character, not understanding shit about the franchise :D

Those little Grunt things as well (The midget enemies; Are they called Grunts?) essentially scream to be the new stupid, thin, borderline-racist demographic.

If it's a standard-fantasy subgenre that can be wrapped around to entertain the College-Fraternity-esque palp with massive explosions, perky chestpillows and automatic weaponry...

Micheal Bay should stay the fuck away from HALO!

Hey hey hey... you leave Halo alone, do you hear me Michael Bay? YOU LEAVE IT ALONE. BAD DIRECTOR. BAD.

Haley was amazing in the role. Too bad nothing else in the Movie worked :(

As for Halo and Bay. Sure. He's already ass raped most of what people love. He might as well Make a portal and half-life 1 and 2 movie. Then make halo 1-3(combine all three into 1 movie). Megan Fox will play Master Chief... as well as Chell in the Portal movie. shia labeouf will be Gordon Freeman.

Kill off just about any Gamer in one swoop.

Mosstromo:
Right said Mr. Movie Bob: A bubble of "can't touch this" to whom deserves a bubble. And well loved Jackie Earle Haley is one of them.
With your warning in mind, and my own gut-feeling that this remake will suck simian testis, I'll go watch it just because of Mr. Haley. Thanks again for accurate, mostly reasoned (and frequently funny) advise. :-D

Thanks Movie Bob, I will now watch this movie because you tell me not to. I love it when you get on your high horse and tell us stuff like eat healthy, read classic literature, and not be a kid. It's like the kettle calling itself..... what was the phrase? Sorry, I have no mind, and after seeing your review of All Saints Day, I guess all I see is fanboy fodder trying to sound prolific and edgy.

That's what the 'haters be hatin' part of me wants to say, the other part of me will say:

"Thanks for continuing to entertain me weekly Bob guy. You never fail in being strong about your opinions!"

EDIT: Bubbles are more than a name for M.J.s chimp. That doesn't mean they are justified.

Michael bay must not touch halo one of the reason there is no halo film now is that people like Michael bay want to change the story line but halo has a set story change one thing and you will fuck the movie up like dragon ball evolution

One of your best reviews Bob, well done. Good info, great bubble, well explained.

CaptainCrunch:

ZZoMBiE13:
Is there some clause in the Escapist contracts that require you critics to take potshots at Halo?

Innovations in multiplayer gameplay and standardizing the controller setup aside, what exactly has Halo done with storytelling that can't be found in a canned-plot movie?

Hey, you don't have to lie to build up Halo being something more than it is. "Multiplayer Gameplay" like this has been around for nearly a decade before this came out and as far as 'standardizing the controller setup', that only applies to the Xbox systems which, to be fair, Halo was a launch title of. Didn't really give anyone else a chance to standardize it first.

SomethingAmazing:

Swarmcrow:

SomethingAmazing:

Sacman:
If he does a Halo movie it would be the same as his Transformers movies extremely over rated and poorly directed crum buckets that will make an insane amount of money because the primary audience can't distinguish between abominations and art...

Even abominations can be art in their own way.

NO , no , no and just NO...........No

Why not?

mostly because a Two hours movie about two dogs humping each other over somebody's xbox is not the process of deliberately arranging elements in a way to affect the senses or emotions with the meaning of exploring esthetics

You really had to throw in that Halo comment at the end didn'cha'. I don't know where I heard it, but I think what you're doing, Moviebob, is something called ummmm... beating a dead horse. Yeah I think it was that.

Let me just reuse the post I put up on the Halo Legends review. Probably won't even matter seeing as how no one responded to that post either.

"In response to MovieBob:

You do appear to enjoy caricaturizing Halo's fanbase, don't you. I mean, it's not like each and every game fanbase has it's share of mouth breathing, drooling troglodytes or anything. Nope, it's us who are the idiots.

To tell the truth I don't think Halo is that great, but I still enjoy it and it's expanded fiction enough to warrant a defense against the straw man argument you've seem to have created.

You keep making up points of how Halo is some muscle-tripping, testosterone filled cock-fest about beefy zipped up muscle-men beating down endless waves of bad guys in order to save humanity and get the girl. I think you've mistaken it with Gears of War (I know you haven't but just listen) whose unapologetic scandalous methods are intentionally done as such and shouldn't be taken seriously. Halo on the other hand actually has some depth, emulating world events such as ultra religious militaristic pragmaticism in the form of the covenant and a group of terroristic insurgents attempting to break away from the overly controlling human government. I'll admit Halo's story isn't exactly original unto itself but unravels in an at least glance-worthy way.

I understand some discrepancies you might have with the series but everything you've shown has been one giant bought of misinformation that is indicative enough that you really didn't give the series nothing more than a passing glance. Yes, I'll say it, the story doesn't feel all that good or well written without the expanded fiction, and you'll reply that if a game can't stand on it's own two feet than it is isn't good to begin with. There is however, only so much story one can fit into a game, something that Halo doesn't do all that well admittedly, but could never have been fit into, as you described, a truly multiplayer centric game.

I wrote this with the greatest amount of humility I possess, and I hope to death you don't take this overly-long and complex post as an insult as an insult it is not."

stickmangrit:

LGC Pominator:
bigass well written rant about Halo.

whilst i have nowhere near your list of academic qualifications, at 24 years of age i do have half a decade of perspective on the matter, and i'll try to illuminate you on the Halo backlash you find so uncalled for and perplexing.

firstly, to reiterate what Captain Crunch and i have said already in this thread, Halo was indeed revolutionary for being the first legitimate FPS to hit the console market. it was the first time that a console FPS had graphics, AI, and gameplay on a level approximating that of the FPS's those of us in the PC gaming community had been enjoying since the late nineties. remember that upon the release of Halo, those of us with gaming PCs were enjoying Battlefield 1942, Half Life's mod community(with Counter-Strike suddenly challenged by Day of Defeat as the new mod on the block), Unreal Tournament, Deux Ex, the Thief series, and countless other classic first person shooters. whilst Halo was a remarkably successful experiment in making the FPS function with a gamepad instead of the traditional mouse and keyboard, it's reception amongst then prevalent FPS fans ranged from "it's pretty fun" to "this will be awesome once it hits PC and we get a mod community behind it." but to your age group, it was the first time you'd played a real first person shooter(the closest prior being Goldeneye and Perfect Dark). as the PC market started dying out and first person shooters moved en masse to consoles, a schism not unlike that of the SNES Final Fantasy fandom v. folks who started out with FFVII started, and has only grown over the years. as the XBox slowly replaced the PC as the preeminent FPS platform, a not inconsiderable amount of resentment has been leveled at Halo for spearheading this movement. whilst this is largely unfair to the Halo franchise, it should be understood that no small amount of the hyperbole leveled at Halo comes from this resentment.

as for the story itself, i remember playing Combat Evolved and being largely unimpressed, but not completely turned off. it certainly didn't hold a candle to the likes of Thief, Half-Life, or Deux Ex. it was, unsurprisingly, the same Space Marine v. Aliens deal we'd seen countless times since the release of Doom. Halo was, however, a fun game, and far more conducive to basement LAN parties if only because it required four X-Boxes and 16 controllers rather than 16 PCs to get going. but i do remember the pre-release hype for Halo 2. i remember waiting forever to download new trailers on our blazing 56k modems. and what we saw was amazing. we were being promised massive scale warfare on Earth. literally every single tidbit of news was about Earth, and the large-scale warfare we'd be engaging in with the Covenant there. we were promised a game whose sheer scope and scale was unlike anything we'd ever seen.

i also remember the day Halo 2 launched. i remember going to my friends house, all of us psyched to see this promised new era in gameplay. we were ready to boot up the co-op and defend the earth. an hour and a half later we were on another fucking Halo doing the exact same shit we did in the last game, only now the cutscene engine and shotgun didn't work worth a damn. that was when I stopped giving a shit entirely. oh i played my share of deathmatches, captured my share of flags, and enjoyed myself with my friends on the multiplayer, but to this day i've never played past the fourth mission of Halo 2. i've never seen the end of that game, and i feel no worse for it. it was, and remains, a boilerplate FPS notable only for pioneering a new platform for the genre(which remains an incredible feat, and a distinct turning point for video games as a medium). i understand that for you it was likely a revelation, the first success in a long line of failures, ambitious or otherwise. i appreciate that this colors your perception of the game, and seeing as your(and that of most of your age group's) idea of what an FPS should be was shaped almost entirely by Halo. but the fact is that the Halo series has been outclassed in almost every way by better franchises, many of which were around long before Microsoft bought out Bungie.

I'm sorry my friend, but you are way off. name another aliens vs humanity game where you not only get to witness the political and religious perspective of the aliens, but also get to experience it first hand. halo really did attempt a new way of telling a story in FPS and it did it remarkably well. i really felt for the elites, and felt contempt towards the prophets and the brutes which made the experience that much more personal. i won't say halo is perfect, but it's far FAR beyond the credit you and many others are willing to give it.

you also didn't address any of LGC's other points about the books which elaborate even further on the story and allow for a better understanding of the background information and what lead to the events in the games in the first place.

what you've actually, unknowingly, done is prove LGC right. the people who rag on halo are the people who've barely experienced it. every person i know that criticizes halo does it ignorantly. you've never read a single book from the series, and you never allowed yourself more than a few levels in the games. please refrain from giving lengthy arguments on topics for which you have little or no frame of reference. just makes you sound stupid.

Spydiggity:
name another aliens vs humanity game where you not only get to witness the political and religious perspective of the aliens, but also get to experience it first hand.

Star Craft.

/mindblown

I don't watch horror movies so I wasn't planning on commenting. But I have to point out that the cinmea snob actually said this was a good movie if you phase out your head that bay was invovled (which he wasn't just his brand so really it's like your picking a fight). And the cinmea snob is a pretty smart guy and perhaps a far less biased opinion. Although the angry joe was totally nuclear on the situation although he only complained about freddies appearance and that one gal that wasn't given a good chance to shine like she did in the orignal. Oh and the jump scares.
Personally I don't see what you all could be blubbering about when it comes to these horror movies. Evil bad guy comes from X kills X amount of people and then either gets stopped or killed(but no really). In general this genre seems really vapid and shallow hence all the reboots and re-treads and sequals and so forth. But to be fair for those to whom horror movies are as valuable as say a classic childrens movie(you do not know how much that thought scares me) I guess you can be disapointed that it's not as good as you wish it could be.

Also movie bob. Stop. Seriously. you don't like halo. You don't like micheal bay. How old are you? Old enough to not go on childish rants I know that much. I mean I hate things to but I'm a gentleman and I don't go out of my way to mention something I don't like and then I don't whine and complain about it. So you don't like transformers. Fine. I do. And I would like it if you treat the three of us who do like transformers with a little respect by just saying simple things like "I dislike it"

Seriously though people. Why do we use rape as if it is some pithy phrase to throw about? I can't begin to tell you how disrepectful it is to actual rape victims.

wadark:
What's so wrong with having movies "poured into your brain without judgement" as you say?

If that's what you like, then more power to you! However it doesn't make sense that you'd watch a review or engage a critic in some capacity and expect them to let total BS just slide by. If you decide to use a resource, then complain that they are essentially fulfilling the role that the resource is designed to fill, then somebody is wasting their time.

wadark:

I thought film was a medium intended for the audience to simply enjoy it. Why does it have to be judged? More specifically, why does it have to be publicly judged? Am I somehow "wrong" for watching movies without microanalyzing every nuance of the film or even really analyzing it at all?

If you have the time to consume all media without worrying about quality then good for you. If the errors and poor decisions that producers, actors, and directors make don't bother you, then that is fine as well. But why the heck would you watch a review? And then once again, why would you take the time to do exactly the same thing to the reviewer that you hate having the reviewer do to the object d'arte in the first place?

wadark:

The variety of reasons for a movie being bad that you listed, are, themselves, subjective. Cinematography is only defined as "poor" because there is a "definition" of what good cinematography is, and that definition was made by someone or a group of people who defined "good" by their own subjective position.
...
You say that its a person's tolerance for "suck" that defines their individual enjoyment, but who defines what "Suck" is? And how is that person's opinion of "suck" any more credible than mine? Because he went to film school, maybe? Movies are a creative medium, and as such, conventional standards shift with time. What was considered bad 50 years ago, may not be so today. Look at painting and the Renaissance; that represented a fundamentally large shift in the style of art, and subsequently shifted the ideas of what was considered good and bad. Film is even more in flux than that, so with the standards so constantly shifting, how can we really set a clear definition of what makes good directing/acting/scriptwriting/etc.?

I agree that there is no absolute, but I also think that the more there is of something that it becomes much easier to say some of them are good or bad within the style/genre/form/whatever. Cultural norms of the day inform a lot of what trends are considered good or bad, but as reviewers are doing their job for "now" that makes them relevant. Granted, some reviewers look forward to what's emerging or back to the glory of yesteryear, but if they use that to put it into a context that is relevant to the largest part of their viewer base, they are doing a good thing.

Also, a good critic doesn't just say "This sucks," but instead says "this sucks because xxx."

wadark:
Critics can help you avoid spending time and money, true. But you have to go into a review understanding that the reviewer might not have the same standards as you. I've never once let a reviewer keep me from seeing a movie.

I have, and I've also had reviewers open my eyes to movies I never would have considered. However I usually don't let just one reviewer keep me from seeing something, it takes a lot of reviewers to do that, which is why I usually check multi review sites like Rotten Tomatoes and try to find out not just if, but also why, critics feel the way they do. Sometimes I decide I need to see the movie anyway, usually if what they don't like doesn't bother me.

wadark:
I don't care if every single reviewer on the planet says that Iron Man 2 is terrible, I will be there at midnight on Thursday to see it and I will judge for myself.

I'll be there with you. Well, probably not with you, but somewhere.

Editors notes will be presented in [brackets]

Spydiggity:

stickmangrit:

LGC Pominator:
bigass well written rant about Halo.

snip

I'm sorry my friend, but you are way off. name another aliens vs humanity game where you not only get to witness the political and religious perspective of the aliens, but also get to experience it first hand[Starcraft, System Shock 1 & 2, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri]. halo really did attempt a new way of telling a story in FPS and it did it remarkably well [you're thinking of Half-Life's use of total character immersion, rather than Halo's use of the well worn mission-cutscene-loadscreen-rinse-repeat method]. i really felt for the elites, and felt contempt towards the prophets and the brutes which made the experience that much more personal[wow, you haven't encountered many stories, have you?]. i won't say halo is perfect, but it's far FAR beyond the credit you and many others are willing to give it.[bullshit, i'm typically more gracious than it deserves.]

you also didn't address any of LGC's other points about the books which elaborate even further on the story and allow for a better understanding of the background information and what lead to the events in the games in the first place.

what you've actually, unknowingly, done is prove LGC right. the people who rag on halo are the people who've barely experienced it. every person i know that criticizes halo does it ignorantly. you've never read a single book from the series, and you never allowed yourself more than a few levels in the games. please refrain from giving lengthy arguments on topics for which you have little or no frame of reference. just makes you sound stupid.

again, wrong. played through the entire first game in various co-op runs. played through or have seen most of Halo 2 played, and played a fair bit of 4-player co-op in Halo 3. the campaign is far more bearable when your crank it up to Legendary and tackle it with teamwork. i maintain, it's a fun game, and easy to set up large-scale multiplayer with. it's generic nature is really what makes it shine as a simple pick-up and play, easy to learn hard to master multiplayer shooter, similar to the Super Smash Bros series.

hey, you know what i've never, ever, ever, ever, ever had to say to defend the story of a Bethesda, BioWare, Infinity Ward, Valve, Obsidian, id, Black Isle, Team Ico, Suda 51, or Hideo Kojima created video game? "you can't criticize the story because you haven't given the books a chance to develop the non-existent storyline in the games." i've never had to say that, because those developers know ho to tell a story IN THE GAME I JUST PAID 50-60 FUCKING DOLLARS FOR. they did not feel the need to shirk storytelling in favor of making me spend more money on a fucking expanded universe novel to make their waiffer-thin plot function.

and for the record, fuck Fall of Reach. because turning the Spartans into Super-Gestapo kidnapped as children and subjected to Mengle-esque experiments, most of which result in horrible death in order to breed "super soldiers" for no greater purpose than "quelling rebellions" and then expecting us to buy the amoral fascistic fucking government that went through with this utterly unethical, morally reprehensible shit as the good guys without a shred of irony for three fucking games is beyond ridiculous. that it's an Ender's Game ripoff(without any of that pesky, thought inducing moral ambiguity surrounding the use of child soldiers and the reactionary, xenophobic nature of the human race that made Ender's Game a classic) is almost besides the point. all Fall of Reach does is, much like the transition from Twilight to New Moon, is take us from trite and hackneyed to trite, hackneyed, morally reprehensible and just plain wrong.

oh..my...god... TF2 PROP_STATIC FILE CABNITS?! FINALLY!!!!

walsfeo:

If that's what you like, then more power to you! However it doesn't make sense that you'd watch a review or engage a critic in some capacity and expect them to let total BS just slide by. If you decide to use a resource, then complain that they are essentially fulfilling the role that the resource is designed to fill, then somebody is wasting their time.

If you have the time to consume all media without worrying about quality then good for you. If the errors and poor decisions that producers, actors, and directors make don't bother you, then that is fine as well. But why the heck would you watch a review? And then once again, why would you take the time to do exactly the same thing to the reviewer that you hate having the reviewer do to the object d'arte in the first place?

Well, I gotta say, you got me there. You make a good point and I don't know that I have a sufficient answer to that.

Bob is really the only reviewer I engage because he's always been good about qualifying his statements; essentially avoiding one of the main problems I have with critics: stating their opinion as fact without giving any clear reasoning for it.

So I guess it just bugs me a bit when Bob does it (which is, admittedly, rare). I suppose I just resent the implication that I have terrible taste because I really like a movie (or movies) that are "terrible". Do I have bad taste because I like, even loved BOTH Transformers (and I generally have a high opinion of Michael Bay's movies in the past).

I don't have time to consume everything without care of quality. There have been movies that I have watched that I just didn't like. But I generally avoid answering when anyone asks me if it was good or not. If its a friend, I try to put myself in their shoes and tell them what I think they might like or dislike, or I simply give them my perceptions from my point of view. I don't think I've ever told someone "don't go see this, its shit".

I think one of the biggest problems is that we're so paradoxical. Its as though we just love to hate stuff. So much so that we ignore our instincts at pattern recognition and continue seeing movies we know we won't like just so we can slam on it. But then we turn around and complain when the new movies of that ilk come out. And then we 180 again and go see the movie just to trash it further.

Look at the spider man reboot. Its almost universally accepted that it will be terrible. But I bet you it rakes in tons of cash on opening weekend, even if only from people who go there to hate it. Here's a newsflash, the studios don't care WHY you spent your money on the movie, they care THAT you spent the money. I've seen 3 or 4 Boll movies, they were all terrible in my opinion, so guess what, I don't watch any of his movies any more.

Halo doesn't need anyone else's help to ruin it...

On a more serious note: crappy story and even crappier story presentation aside, Halo is about as good as console shooters are gonna get as far as I'm concerned.

I saw another trailer for this movie while watching Hot Tub Time Machine in a movie theatre just today.
I have to admit, I can easily see most of Moviebob's points on the matter, especially the bits about the 'waking dreams' or whatever they were called. However while I am pretty sure this is going to be a bad movie I'm still tempted to give it a watch just to see Jackie Earle Haley being Freddy.
Admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of the movies in the first place but I'm probably still going to give this a look. I have no doubt that it's going to suck, but I at least want to see what Haley does or at least tries to do with the character.

That said, when I see it, I'm probably going to regret that decision but hey I have to live with my mistakes.

I'm probably going to get suspended for this, but MovieBob needs to shut up about Halo. Don't curse something you don't understand.

ZZoMBiE13:
Is there some clause in the Escapist contracts that require you critics to take potshots at Halo?

i would like to think so too, but who knows

Yet again Movie Bob shows his ignorance, those of us who were there called it a snez. Not Es En Ee Es. Jeez.

Oh, and micronaps aren't a "new gimmick" although they're usually referred to as microsleeps. It's just what happens when you haven't slept for days.
They're trippy, fun and scary at the same time.

whipshh! owned. ,Micheal Bay - Halo movie there's a thought?

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