Reliable Source: Guns Don’t Kill People, Violent Videogames Do

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Reliable Source: Guns Don't Kill People, Violent Videogames Do

Marion learns why games, guns, and crazy dads don't mix.

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technically, guns nor video games kill people, people that have guns and possibly have been drinking kill people.

beyond that, why not just set up a bear trap outside your door, next to it put a sign saying "bear trap is to keep bear inside apartment only!", that would screw with some would be thieves!

That was awesome.

Glad to see you hadn't died from some crazy accident over the last week.

I'll make my next stop a Gamestop (TM), too!

I wish to meet your Dad online one day (and be on his team!)

I don't think we'd ever lose, and the micspammers would probably have their eardrums burst by your Dad screaming at them for daring to "TRY AND BRAINWASH ME WITH YOUR SUBLIMINAL COMMIE BASTARD MESSAGES AND YOUR DAMN, BEATING RAPE-MUSIC!"

Umm... I have to give you much regard for taking care of your father while his mind slips, but you really shouldn't have left a man with such a tenuous grasp of reality with a firm grasp on a fire arm. Dude, he could have killed somebody and Illinois would have forced him into a home.

So, yeah, I would not recommend that you own a firearm (or, for that matter, a sword).

The Zommbunists are coming! Run for your life!!

Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

hah... great stuff as always :D

keep up the good work ma'am... sir... person..?

Onyx Oblivion:
I'll make my next stop a Gamestop (TM), too!

Quite possibly my favourite part of this article. You continue to entertain with your grand stories Marion.

"You see, the commies always come in packs. Sometimes there are heavily armored ones: those you have to smack with the butt of your gun, spin them around, and shoot them in the back. Back in Korea, I remember a big fat commie that exploded and attracted other reds by the spray of his guts. War is hell, son, and a shotgun might be your only friend."

Hahahahahah! Love those Zommbunists...

It is hard to make out what may or maynot be true. However my Xbox has been stolen twice this year, my last replacement not a month ago. Unfortunitly after dropping $433 on my new system I couldnt possibly replace it after it got stolen ten days after I got it.(Not all of us have cushy Jobs for a gaming magazine)

I feel your pain, it blows. And theives are too smart to pawn it now so its just sitting somewhere probably not being played(Didnt take any games, dummies my games where in a drawer right below) I payed 433 dollars for my Xbox to sit somewhere.

But guns are not the answer, I carry a Mace gun(when I say gun yes its a gun that shoots mace) but thats just mace. Mace would only be lethal if I sprayed it up someones nose. You wanna protect your home? Cameras. Cameras everywhere, and not just that special alarms that go off if someone tried to take it. Go to your nearest security store, or somewhere that sells survelience.

In response to he title:

In reality, neither games or gun kill people. People kill people. its just that guns, knives, and other dangerous stuff are just instruments.

I've never been robbed before. Thanks god, that would suck. I'd probably never trust anyone ever again if that happened to me.

Marion, you are a light in what is an otherwise gloomy and boringly sane day, and one of my favourite writers on the Escapist.

"Goddamned junkies stealing my picture box!"

hee hee

Anacortian:
Umm... I have to give you much regard for taking care of your father while his mind slips, but you really shouldn't have left a man with such a tenuous grasp of reality with a firm grasp on a fire arm. Dude, he could have killed somebody and Illinois would have forced him into a home.

So, yeah, I would not recommend that you own a firearm (or, for that matter, a sword).

I think you're missing the point. Which I find hilarious.

You're just as well off scolding Dr Evil for being evil!

Well you you certainly earned my regard for helping your father in his time of need unfortunately his future need for weaponary should only be met with modern ware 2 and kill death ratio.

If guns kill people, then its my 360 controller's fault Im not better at MW2.

XD
Ah... that was great! Glad I stumbled upon this. This has been a great start to my day. XP

I gosh I love Reliable Source.

Also: I'm super happy that it is much harder to get guns here in Australia than it is over there in the USA. Super happy.

Kalezian:
technically, guns nor video games kill people, people that have guns and possibly have been drinking kill people.

beyond that, why not just set up a bear trap outside your door, next to it put a sign saying "bear trap is to keep bear inside apartment only!", that would screw with some would be thieves!

I'm gonna quibble on this and say it's actually bullets that kill people, not guns or people with guns.

Onyx Oblivion:
I'll make my next stop a Gamestop (TM), too!

Didn't you say you were on your way to cure your game addiction?

May I quote?

"The National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that." - Eddie Izzard

Also that was a great Reliable Source, the cleetus/banjo line cracked me up.

Huh, are these stories real? Some of the things that happens seems to strange xD
Also i would recommend to bobby trap your door.

sinclose:

Onyx Oblivion:
I'll make my next stop a Gamestop (TM), too!

Didn't you say you were on your way to cure your game addiction?

And I am. I'm not giving up games. Just mostly the FPS genre. And all multiplayer games. Even TF2.

Silly Marion. Your first gun should always be a small handgun, and it should be YOURS ALONE. Communal gun ownership is the first tactic of the NaziStalinistas. I'd say it should go with you wherever you go due to the crazy father situation, but maybe Illinois doesn't allow that.

I'm pretty sure Illinois is a whole lot stricter on gun ownership than just a 24-hour waiting period, though. At least, according to the last guy I read on the subject. But he lived right in Chicago, So maybe it was all Mayor Daley's local ordinances.

Your articles have gotten so fun to read that it looks like your editors don't even check them for typos anymore:P

Kalezian:
technically, guns nor video games kill people, people that have guns and possibly have been drinking kill people.

beyond that, why not just set up a bear trap outside your door, next to it put a sign saying "bear trap is to keep bear inside apartment only!", that would screw with some would be thieves!

I'm sure the gun helps .... alot lol

OT: I haven't had my xbox stolen before, wish someone would though it doesn't work all that well lol

Epoetker:

Your articles have gotten so fun to read that it looks like your editors don't even check them for typos anymore:P

That's because Tito is busy on his own manuscript, that focuses on the mental anguish and moral dilemmas of a cute penguin lost in New York, a decrepit tabby who formulate and executes a plan to kill a hated, unscrupulous band of pigeons who are hoarding all the food in their alley, thereby controlling the precious bread crumb supply near the hotdog stands.

Marion Cox:

Epoetker:

Your articles have gotten so fun to read that it looks like your editors don't even check them for typos anymore:P

That's because Tito is busy on his own manuscript, that focuses on the mental anguish and moral dilemmas of a cute penguin lost in New York, a decrepit tabby who formulate and executes a plan to kill a hated, unscrupulous band of pigeons who are hoarding all the food in their alley, thereby controlling the precious bread crumb supply near the hotdog stands.

Awwh you shouldn't have posted that, now the guys from pixar will steal Tito's idea... I guess now we know what the next from Disney will be.

If anything this story serves to say Games Keep people from Killing Each other. If he had his fill of L4D then maybe he wouldn't have shot at Him.

Oh I am so glad RS is back. I was worried after you didn't show last week. Good way to start a day, and now I am thinking of Eddie Izzard.

This story brings back memories. The eternal struggle between personal security and arming mad family members.

Bbefore I make a rant of anti-gaming punks, let me say this. Guns do'nt kill people, husbands that come home early do.

I love your humor. It is the thick, delicious pudding-icing on a sliver of the crap that life piles on you. I probably don't want to know how much of your tales are factual, because if it is more than ~5% that's just depressing...

Also, you make me even more grateful that I took a promotion to Marion out of Springfield at my earliest convenience. Amusingly enough, the community college down there offers classes on defensive shooting. I need to take one...

PSA: Guns are only good home defense if you A) are trained in their use and B) are there to use them. They really should be locked in a safe or otherwise secured when no one is home, because they are obviously valuable, and can also be stolen to be used in the commission of crimes. There is a reason why my longarms are both cheap and disassembled. In your case, might I suggest a Tee-Ball bat? ~$10 at Wal-Mart, and much less risk for collateral damage/will hurt you less if it is taken from you :D

games dont kill people crazy fathers do

AK-47...for all your defense needs lol

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