Zero Punctuation: Splinter Cell: Conviction

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CAW4:

Shamanic Rhythm:

Frederick II:
Snip

I'm going to wait here for you to link to where he's made this same analogy before.

Waiting.

Go to the list of ZP videos. Close your eyes and click randomly. Done.

BTW, the "waiting" joke isn't funny if it's in the same post.

There's only one other video where he calls anything a gorilla.

Shamanic Rhythm:

CAW4:

Shamanic Rhythm:

Frederick II:
Snip

Snip

Go to the list of ZP videos. Close your eyes and click randomly. Done.

BTW, the "waiting" joke isn't funny if it's in the same post.

There's only one other video where he calls anything a gorilla.

I am unsure whether you intentionally misinterpret or not. The gorilla point is moot, the point made is that Yahtzee loves to make fun of America almost to the exclusion of all other countries. Sure, there have been a few reviews where he has been harsh on other countries, but if one takes his entire body of work and looks at it side by side, he is incredibly unfavorable to America. It is old; it was funny the first time, maybe the third time, but after the the tenth time, the joke starts to wear thin. I said earlier that I have no problem with sarcastic remarks made about America (and I usually don't), but for God's sake, this is getting ridiculous.

Yahtzee makes fun of America at every opportunity he gets, even when it is hardly topical. It is an easy target because America is not beloved oversees, but I expect more from him; I expect the same inventiveness he showed in earlier reviews, and not insipid jokes about America just because it is easy to target

Frederick II:
I am unsure whether you intentionally misinterpret or not. The gorilla point is moot, the point made is that Yahtzee loves to make fun of America almost to the exclusion of all other countries. Sure, there have been a few reviews where he has been harsh on other countries, but if one takes his entire body of work and looks at it side by side, he is incredibly unfavorable to America. It is old; it was funny the first time, maybe the third time, but after the the tenth time, the joke starts to wear thin. I said earlier that I have no problem with sarcastic remarks made about America (and I usually don't), but for God's sake, this is getting ridiculous.

Yahtzee makes fun of America at every opportunity he gets, even when it is hardly topical. It is an easy target because America is not beloved oversees, but I expect more from him; I expect the same inventiveness he showed in earlier reviews, and not insipid jokes about America just because it is easy to target

I thought we were done fighting. Do I need to send you another banana?

Shamanic Rhythm:

I thought we were done fighting. Do I need to send you another banana?

I am truly sorry, I did not mean to fight; I thought you misunderstood, so i wished to help and further your understanding, but a cookie might be nice.

I'm a little sick of him insulting Americans (I'm allowed to like my country, even if it is America) but whatever, I'll keep watching as long as he keeps them informative and funny. He hit right on with my interpretation of the game, yeah it's fun making Sam do cool stuff, but the game seems like it does way to much for you. I guess I would say it is to context sensitive you just have to hit the correct button in the correct position and watch what happens. Kind of like Heavy Rain, I guess, but it lacks the hook of having consequences for your choices and mistakes.

Imp goes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA That was really funny.

Nice review. Although you didn't actually say the length of the game I expected to.

Good fun as always Yahtzee.

I did really like SCC and was expecting you to rip on the plot a little more since it did seem a little less clever than the previous games with Tom Clancy being a master of military / political fiction the plot would have made a bad Micheal Bay movie, laden with PMCs who are more than happy to betray the good old US of A for a bit of cash.

I was also dissapointed with the reduction of stealth and although the 'execute' system is a fun way to empty a room it still felt like playing the game with auto aim on. The new 'context sensitive' interaction system is a bit annoying as pointed out - I found the funniest part is when your in a cut scene (like talking to Victor) and press jump Sam does this funny little half jump like hes doing squats or something :P

Most of the guns are useless as pointed out and I played the entire game with the same pistol and 1 or 2 changes of the main weapon - personally I think they only have all the weapons for the kids to pew pew on multiplayer.

Personally I am looking forward to the book as I find the fiction of Splinter Cell much more rewarding than the games

Frederick II:

winter2:
As an American I must confess that I find a lot of humor in how many people got their feelings hurt by that ONE joke. I also have a feeling I know those people's political affiliation.

I think this has a lot less to do with political affiliation and a lot more to do with what amounts to Yahtzee pulling a cheap shot to garner points from the non-American crowd. As I noted earlier, America has a lot of big, dangerous, doomsday inducing weaponry. The motivation is simple; who give a crap about fixing debt when you hold the world hostage with enough firepower to turn the surface of the planet into a Fallout style wasteland?

Humor is subjective. The more you whine, the more foreigners see us as overly sensitive 'BE NICE WE CAN'T TAKE CRITICISM WE'RE TAKING OUR BALL AND LEAVING' sorts.

I'm American. I found it hilarious. You're American, you didn't. He makes fun of Australia's game censoring and government ALL THE TIME- you're just trying to play us as the poor victim and coming off as a self-righteous person who can't take a damn joke.

Edit: And what's wrong with him directing his jokes to the non-American crowds? There are other people on the planet, you know. It's vaguely refreshing to see THEM addressed rather than us- and unfortunately, that IS how a lot of the world sees us. Do I think it's right that they see us that way? No, but I can understand WHY they see us that way.

*Buys the book like a good mindless zombie*

Hehe it's funny cuz it's true^^

WolfmanNougat:
Opening with a TMNT reference? Didn't see that one coming!

Wait, you've gone through the whitehouse many times in video games and nobody's kicked up a fuss (as far as I'm aware, at least), yet as soon as a humble church gets involved in a virtual firefight, the Christians roll out the "Videogames are teh sacrelige" banners?
I guess Obama really is the only level-headed person left in America, then.

Also, I'd say the reason America is always being taken over in fiction is because they're so in love with themselves that they think everyone wants a piece because they are equally in love. Of course, this game being made in Canada kinda derails that idea a bit.

How toolish of you. If there was some sort of rule about showing scenes of violence in the White House no doubt there would be some fuss. As it stands the White House getting pillaged, burned, the president being targeted, hung, overthrown, ect. are all a part of Americana. And no, it's not because we are "in love with ourselves"

It's down to two reasons:

First, America is a system based entirely on faith and respect for a constitution. The stability of our system relies entirely on people's willingness not to stop adhering to a piece of paper. Hence our way of life seems fragile. It's fragility makes it easy for pop-culture to jolt a scare or two by suggesting that rogue citizens, PMCs, foreign powers, terrorists, or invaders from Canada are all it would take to bring the whole thing down.

Second, Americans are naturally suspicious of their government, so there is a dichotomy involved in what constitutes "America". A nation whose people are in charge of the government where the government itself may one day come to threaten its people is the ultimate balance behind every bill in Washington. Different mediums of storytelling have displayed this phenomenon in the form of Washington D.C. getting nuked to high-heaven or terrorists storming the White House dozens of times. Every time there is a new law in Congress, about half of us are on board and the other half entertain wild fantasies like these.

Which brings me to my next point.

Yahtzee, England has the highest obesity rate now. America may eat money but it makes more than you. And Obamacare isn't free, it's a mandatory invoice every week for people that are already paying for their own families and struggling make their bills.

i'd like to know when the ZERO PUNKTUATION LOGO MUG will be available again!?
i am waiting for more than 3 month now°!

Another very sharp review. I've been on the fence on whether or not to get this game, and this helps push it back onto the "rent or wait four months until it's cheap" pile, where it can keep company with "Dante's Inferno" and "BioShock 2."

An interesting note as well - after a few offhand references in reviews like "Velvet Assassin," this is the first confirmation that Yahtzee likes the Hitman series, a favorite of mine in years past but one I've always thought had some flaws as a game. Any chance we could see a retrospective review as the summer games drought begins?

Oh how did I know a load of Americans were going to be butt-hurt whiners about the America joke. Christ, the clue is in the name - JOKE.
It's a testament to how insecure some Americans are about their country, that's for sure.

oh jesus this one had me laughing! Your taking over the US analogy was brilliant. Savages you every time you try to give it health care... hahahaha
Shaved Bear! that was fantastic.
Although you must admit, Agent 47 sticks out like a sore thumb too.
Steamed professor of pigshit... lol
oh man
Montreal does totally explain it
haha
and yes. the last drop of urine down your leg, that happened to me like 20 mins ago

i like sam fisher, i loved when he got it on with paris hilton....

wait... that wasn't sam fisher? but the green.. the nightlig... not sam fisher... oh.. well then...

damn.

lol@americans whining about someone mocking their country... relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks :)

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.

I wouldn't feel so bad, the only country that can't take a joke as much as americans IS england... i mean that's an even easier target for jokes. Me i'm Scottish, you can mock me until the walls in your house fall down, i'd still buy you a drink.. it's what we do, we've heard them all :)

if you wanna wind up the english, though... just talk about the year they won the world cup.. when they were no 1.. and ask them how much Scotland beat their world cup winning team the year after... man that gets them everytime ;)

italians are pretty bad at not taking a joke too, but they're corrupt.. you can pay them off to like it. The french well they just surrender, hell they even surrendered at Afganistan a few years ago when they heard the germans were on their way...

sazzrah:
Oh how did I know a load of Americans were going to be butt-hurt whiners about the America joke. Christ, the clue is in the name - JOKE.
It's a testament to how insecure some Americans are about their country, that's for sure.

Oh look, someone else missing the point.

As a few others have stated before, the America jokes are getting old. We understand it is a joke. I've been watching Yahtzee since he started with these reviews and this is the first time I felt I needed to say something. It's kind of annoying to get fed up with jokes about your country when you always have the constant HUR WHY YOU SO INSECURE? The joke wasn't even posed in a way that would make an American laugh. I always find it funny when Yahtzee will show Americans in cowboy hats in all that, but this was just harsh. Also, I just really don't see why he has to constantly make fun of America in every other video, as the people from it are paying him to complain into a microphone for five minutes every week.

I found this game to be fun to play through, but not a game I would play again and again.

The machine gun and the silent pistol were both useful for me, too.

Acehole:
you still have to pay for it fag its not free you're such an up yourself thick c**t yahtzee.

Hah. Saying "fag" is ok, but "cunt"? Censor that sh*t!

Was mostly pretty funny. Does seem like a lot of games are so dumbed down these days. That's the thing though Stealth games are for people who WANT a game that isn't just dumb shooting an requires some thought an tactics. Apparently that was lost on Ubisoft.

As for the America joke I don't really get it who is trying to give us free Health Care? If your talking about Obama's plans I think that's going to cost a whole hell of a lot. In fact last I checked if I don't want Health Care i'll be fined 1000 dollars just for not being a team player lol.

Well, fuck this game!

Funny review, as usual. I don't care if he jokes about America. As most people not living here, if all they know is our government and the press, those two ARE a big joke.

I think the reason why it's so easy to take out enemies is because you are controlling a highly-experienced agent who's dealt with these kind of guards before.

In contrast, the Silent Hill series has terrible tank controls and sluggish combat because you are controlling normal human beings who can barely fend for themselves.

Granted, the function where he automatically shoots out several enemies still feels like cheating.

Loved the U.S. Health Care reference, nicely worked in :)

Watching ZP has become a weekly bonding routine in my group, and every week it gets better.

Oh, and the little man smacking Sam on the head? Beautiful....

deplorable:
relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks :)

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.

What president was double counted? I don't get it. What makes those "commonwealths" not states?

Assuming that the health care bill was good entails belief in a linear view of health care policy with a "free market" system at one end and a "socialized" system at the other. The truth is that there are more than two specific directions to go on health care, which is obvious when you look at the many differences between the so called "socialized" systems. The obama care bill was hammered together by special interests and is pretty close to being the worst bill that could have come about.

NOt to mention that we could have had several states experiment with different policies, but Obama wanted none of that. Instead he would rather foist a top down plan on 300 million people, more than half of whom didn't want it in the first place. Proponents of the health care bill pretend that the alternative involved raping babies.

Hey 5' 8'' (that's 173cm for me) is pretty reasonable. Sam could not be as tall and heavy as Brock Lesnar. Now the part of the pistol is sooo true. I never user the secondary one. Infinite ammo for the pistol and 4 mark and execute for the five-seven commom guys!

I usually agree with the Zero Punctuation reviews, but I have to say I really don't agree with this one.

I loved Conviction. What Croshaw doesn't seem to get is the fact that Fisher has been lied to by his company for a good 10+ years. He is incredibly pissed off - and understandably so - and therefore it's believable that this guy would basically be fine with going in and lighting everyone up.

Sure, the AI isn't the smartest -- did you try playing on 'Realistic' or did you stick to the 'Moronic Enemies' difficulty level? -- but the game is still very fun. It combines the best of the previous Splinter Cell games (in terms of stealth) but then lets you play as a generic third person shooter. Not many games do that, and I applaud SC:C for being one part hide-in-the-corner-and-jump-people to two parts go-in-and-fuck-everyone-up-with-a-G36.

DurianBlink:
Oh look, someone else missing the point.

As a few others have stated before, the America jokes are getting old. We understand it is a joke. I've been watching Yahtzee since he started with these reviews and this is the first time I felt I needed to say something. It's kind of annoying to get fed up with jokes about your country when you always have the constant HUR WHY YOU SO INSECURE? The joke wasn't even posed in a way that would make an American laugh. I always find it funny when Yahtzee will show Americans in cowboy hats in all that, but this was just harsh. Also, I just really don't see why he has to constantly make fun of America in every other video, as the people from it are paying him to complain into a microphone for five minutes every week.

Oh look, someone else just proving my point. It's only his opinion, and he is a video game critic on a website on the internet, why do you care so much? People will of course think you are insecure about your nation because you felt the need to defend it when a single person out of the billions on this Earth made a joke at it's expense.

Look, I get it ok - Americans often get a big laugh out of mocking the Brits too; if it isn't some cheap giggle about our teeth, then it'll be some hoot about how our previous Prime Minister ran around after Bush like a lap dog. You know why these jokes don't bother me though? Because they're usually not true and based on stereotypes and misinformation.

Most Brits, and I suspect Yahzee included will concede the world view of Americans is very coloured by media and sensationalist journalism; and in moments of seriousness and clarity we'd probably say "sure, we know this stuff probably isn't true" but newsflash - the British national past-time is mocking/making fun of everyone and everything - ourselves included, and I suspect that's half of where Yahzee's colourful flair for sarcasm originates. I sort of think of Yahzee as a sarcasm Superman - here in the UK biting sarcasm and wit is commonplace, but add his particular brand of Britishness to the world of gaming and here we are - Zero Punctuation.

Yahzee probably won't make any apologies nor even comment on these jokes poking fun at America, because why should he? If you don't like it, you don't have to watch it - it's free, he doesn't owe you or any other complaining naysayer anything.

TL;DR version: Respectfully, get over it.

tkwelge:

deplorable:
relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks :)

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.

What president was double counted? I don't get it. What makes those "commonwealths" not states?

I believe 'deplorable' has been watching too much QI. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QI

Regarding 'free healthcare':

It's not exactly fair to bash us Americans for objecting to 'free' healthcare. For one, almost every other non-third-world nation already has some major government healthcare; we can't just move away, this is pretty much the last place that really supports and protects individual freedom and choice in personal healthcare. Second, we have very real objections to 'free' healthcare, not the least of which being that it is badly misnamed. 'Free Healthcare' is not free; at the very least, it takes money from one group of people and gives it to another, and the government takes a hefty chunk out of those taxes in the form of governmental overhead. And this is a best-case-scenario; red tape is almost always present in any sort of government institution, slowing everything down and making things generally less efficient. Fourth, the 'free' aspect will almost always severely increase the quantity demanded, and the government is NOT good at predicting and adapting to market forces. There WILL be shortages, and there WILL be rationing, and while rationing in the free market leads to incentive to innovate and move resources, there is NO government incentive to do this. And sixth, government is a rather bad employer; as said previously, it has little incentive to allocate resources efficiently (indeed, it may be smarter for government administrators to overspend - they can bribe your friends in the form of buying supplies/services, and then ask for a bigger budget because "we can't do it on just this amount!), and it generally pays less than private sector jobs. So, as a summary:

Government provided healthcare, in the US, at least, would:

-Increase costs by means of government overhead.
-Increased red tape, slowing down pretty much everything involved to a greater or lesser extent.
-Increases in quantity demanded.
-Decrease in quantity supplied.
-Shortages.
-Badly paid doctors.

Mind, this is by no means a comprehensive list of economic problems, and doesn't even touch on the personal liberty aspects of it.

So yeah; we have plenty of reason to object to 'free' healthcare.

Ha-ha, I loved that Yahtzee episode, but I disagree, because I like the game. It was short and too the point. I tore through it in 3 days, and loved it. I wish more games were like that.

I loved the little ad at the end of vid. Instant classic

big retard jumboree! I was laughing all day long :D

Lovin' it. :D

I can't belive he doesn't like any Splinter Cell game, well I can I just don't want to.

Frederick II:
Yahtzee makes fun of America at every opportunity he gets, even when it is hardly topical. It is an easy target because America is not beloved oversees, but I expect more from him; I expect the same inventiveness he showed in earlier reviews, and not insipid jokes about America just because it is easy to target

To be fair most games involve the US to a very large degree, and this is a Tom Clancy gameso things are taken up a level or five. If most games revolved around French culture I bet he'd rag on the French a lot.

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