Zero Punctuation: Nier

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yellow snake95:
Hmmm... first time I hear about this game pretty wierd I usally know all the new games cos' one of my friends have the power to find all new games and talk about'em like a police dog finds drugs.

I'm quoting you because normally people don't read the first page of ZP comments, and you deserve to know that someone has read your brilliant analogy.

Your brilliant analogy is also full of spelling mistakes, but fuck it.

I've completely given up on Square-Enix at this point. I used to think I would get a 360 when FFXIII came out, but then it was delayed again and again. When it finally came out I heard it was 60 hours long with no real freedom until 3/4 of the way in. Then I realized that there was probably a reason I didn't finish FFXII.

I used to be a FF/Square-Enix fanboy, but now I realize I haven't like any of their games since FFX and their best work was done on the SNES (FFVI). Unless FFXIV or FF vs. XIII or whatever it's called proves me wrong, I don't think I'll be buying anything from SE for a long time.

Am I crazy or was that like barely a passing grade? Like a C- or something.

Yahtzee appears to have not hated it entirely which surprises me a fair bit.

Wow. I don't know what's more surprising. The fact that Yahtzee chose Nier of all things to review or the fact that he had never heard of it up until this point. I've been aware of the game's existence for some time. It really wasn't that hard to accomplish. One would only need to google "Square Enix" or "PS3" every now and then or something along those lines. But then again I suppose Yahtzee may have been too busy having a life.

Ah I was wondering where the probations were.

And for those who didn't had a working screen, mines just worked perfectly. And I agree with Yahtzee on this one, a game under the rader without too much hype. I think this made him judge the game on a more neutral level. If there was an epic hype around it and would fail miserably like FF13, you bet your ass he'd flame that shit more severely.

Either way, game sounded and seems uninteresting, thank you for confirming my assumptions.

Woah what Yahtzee's seen the true ending of Illbleed? Maybe he watched that LP...

Anyway, I saw all of Drakenguard and played the first "loop", so I was hoping he would talk more about the plot, since it seemed like it might have been spiritual sequel and end up just as insane. Apparently not, although they seem to have kept the sort of sticky and dodgy combat. At least they got rid of the aerial bullshit.

"Nier-death" was pretty hilarious though.

now that it has the Yahtzee stamp of approval, I guess I'm getting Nier

rekabdarb:
you know i'm still actually confused at exactly what Nier is...

Nier means kidney in Dutch.

Didn't expect you to review a game that not even a JRPG fanatic such as myself knew very much about. Glad to see that you're maintaining a generally open mind about RPGs from the east.

Now that I think about it, I really haven't liked Square Enix's games all that much. Not Final Fantasy, and certainly not Rogue Galaxy or the Star Ocean series. They just don't do it for me. (Though I really want to play FFVI) I play Atlus and Namco Bandai JRPGs such as SMT and Tales instead. You may not like any Tales game except for Vesperia, but the darker and edgier SMT titles might be your thing, so I would suggest a glance if you have the time.

TL;DR: Great review, try Shin Megami Tensei and it's spinoffs.

The actually masculine character design for the main character that seems odd for a Square game was apparently designed for the sole purpose of the non-Japan release.

Cyanide Christ:

rekabdarb:
you know i'm still actually confused at exactly what Nier is...

Nier means kidney in Dutch.

that's like convincing me not to play it

I seriousy think I hate Yahtzee now... "Nier death experience"? SOOO BAAAD! :D
(So bad it's good)

Yeah I wouldn't bother with Dead to Rights 2... tried, just a remake of the first game. And by remake, I mean they remade the same sucky game again... but in high-def!
So Nier sounds like Harvest Moon light and Zelda light... or pretty much the same ingredients for a turd sandwich. Or a strange take on Fable. At least in Fable, you didn't have to garden... yet.

Its obvious that someone doesn't like Harvest moon because there's lots of gardening to be had.

Am I the only one who actually loved this game? (Until the New Game+ turned out to be a load of bollocks)

Ah well, not buying Nier, so let's get back to Dragon Warrior on my old NES, a game by Square Enix without people wearing underpants on their heads because it wouldn't fit in the pixel bits.

I was at walmart the other day and saw this without having a clue what it was, too...

Phenom828:
I seriousy think I hate Yahtzee now... "Nier death experience"? SOOO BAAAD! :D
(So bad it's good)

image

rekabdarb:

Cyanide Christ:

rekabdarb:
you know i'm still actually confused at exactly what Nier is...

Nier means kidney in Dutch.

that's like convincing me not to play it

Kidney's are good, you need them to filter poorly brewed beer's.

BOOSH!

I now consider this game Yahtzee approved and will buy it when I can get it for 10 quid on Amazon.

I'm still not entirely sure about Nier. It doesn't look like too bad a game, though I admittedly have my doubts. This review does shed some light on a few of the facets I was wondering about. All in all, I enjoyed watching this. Keep up the great work ^~^!

I don't think I will be adding Nier to my Wishlist. What's with these mediocre games? Is there nothing else to talk about?

Well, probably one of the reasons that Yahtzee didn't entirely hate it was that it wasn't turn-based, which has been one of his biggest complaints with JRPG's.

Jark212:
Well if I'm forced at gunpoint to buy a Square Enix game, Nier would be the game I'd buy...

Considering that Just Cause 2 and Supreme Commander 2 are both Square Enix games (in the sense that it's the publisher of both), then you do have better choices available. Unless you meant a S.E. J-RPG obviously. ^_^

I too didn't hear anything about it and saw it on the shelves thinking...What is this, a stab at Lost Odyssey. Seeing your review I realize its almost like a stab at Fable 2 but with latex and leather clothing styles for some reason.

Why do you keep reviewing JRPGs? You've reviewed 4 in the span of 2.5 years and you'd think you'd know by now that they're not for you. Don't get me wrong, I hate them as much as you do but 4th time is just not the charm when it comes to game genres. Try somthing new like... a sports game perhaps :). (FYI: I don't like these either)

Twattycakes. That right there made my day.

The boss from Wind Waker was a rip-off in and of itself - of Andross (or was it his evil robot? Or was it both?) from StarFox 64.

Way to be original, gaming world.

L1250:
The actually masculine character design for the main character that seems odd for a Square game was apparently designed for the sole purpose of the non-Japan release.

See this, this right here, is incorrect information. The "grizzled old man" is the original character design, whereas the effeminate prettyboy was created later on, in order to appease the japanese audience.

In other news: A ZP about Nier without as much as a single tiny reference to the brilliance that is Grimoire Weiss? Who's this guy and what has he done to Yahtzee?

BOOSH! Wow, I didn't know Yathzee was spying on our band practices cause our old bassist said that a lot.

Yeah this game was under promoted, and I gues I'll give it a rent

Well, this is odd. I never expected to learn about a game through ZP of all things... I wonder if it isn't a ploy by Square Enix, attempting to pique curiosity by revealing nothing about the game and then suddenly releasing it... Essentially giving it free publicity after it comes out...

...Heck, it's working on me as I type this...

boosh? BOOSH?! oh no yahtzee's become a space marine from haze!

Yeah, I'm surprised he never mentioned Grimoire Weiss, the two seem like they'd get along great.
That pun at the end though? Hah! So horrible that it was awesome, and trust me you aren't the only one who suffered from a Nier-Death experience.

And, for the life of me I can not find anything about that "Illbleed" or "Lilbleed" or whatever game... I'm quite curious to see what a chick with just 3 strips of tape looks like.

So eventually he's going to review dead to rights retrobution...that should be interesting.

This game actually has you go back to your house to water your spice garden??? LAAAAAAMMMMMEEEE!

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