Zero Punctuation: Nier

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Erana:

cursedseishi:
Thanks erana for the link!

Looks like I got 33 videos to watch (hope to god I don't go insane, yaaaaaaaaaay)!

Don't do it!
If you must satiate your curiousity, drink an unhealthy amount of alcohol, watch the last video, and hope you pass out during your watching it.
Also, bring a blindfolded friend; when intoxicated, it is best to have someone nearby to make sure you're breathing, hydrated, etc. Drinking too much is dangerous!

B-but.... I've already started... and all the pretty colors and faces and voices are telling me to watch it all...!

and get naked... don't know why that last one was in there too...

and they need to make a movie out of this! Keanu can play Randy, and Kevin Bacon would make a great um... mumbling... miner guy... Eriko talks to before entering the park!

I figured Yahtzee would insinuate that the gal wasn't purely female.

Also, this:

This dungeon has been replaced by a series of twisty
text screens, all alike.
What now?
> seriously

You didn't buy a PS3 to play Zork.
What now?
> bitch

Nice job once again, Croshaw.

"Zelda is only one game with about 50 different dresses." First of all, drop that joke. It's officially dead now. Second, do you really believe such a thing to be true? Don't make me point at GameTrailers' old Zelda Retrospective from '06, Yahtzee. (Especially when I can tell the difference between each Zelda game without the need for such a video)

I want nintendo to make another Mario RPG, not that Paper Mario crap, but a 3D Mario RPG. I loved that game, and I still think it's the best RPG ever made in the history of verbs. When Paper Mario came out for the N64 I was so pissed at Nintendo for giving me a game that was bested graphics wise by the Super NES. I couldn't understand why Nintendo would ever make a 2D game for the N64, it was inconceivable, I felt betrayed. The game was fun, yes, but to me it was bitter-sweet, it could have been 1000xbetter if only it looked the original Mario RPG.
Now is the time for Nintendo to create another truly awesome 3D Mario RPG.

Lordofthesuplex:
"Zelda is only one game with about 50 different dresses." First of all, drop that joke. It's officially dead now. Second, do you really believe such a thing to be true? Don't make me point at GameTrailers' old Zelda Retrospective from '06, Yahtzee. (Especially when I can tell the difference between each Zelda game without the need for such a video)

Every zelda game I've played lately are the same.

s69-5:

lockgar:
O man, I was hoping Yahtzee would know about the localization they did with this game. They actually changed the main character of the game between the Japanese version of the game. He is an angysty teenager in the Japanese version, but they decided to change that as it wouldn't "Appeal" to western players. Something I actually agree with.

http://kotaku.com/5535289/young-nier-appears-in-the-world-of-recycled-vessel

If I recall, the game actually does poke fun at the characters and how they dress. I remember seeing one scene that pokes fun at the woman for fighting in her underwear.

image

MpSai:
Funnily enough he IS a scrawny prepubescent in the Japanese version, and the girl is his sister instead of his daughter. And they changed him into a scowly buff dude for the Western release.

It can be interpreted as either smart or incredibly xenophobic.

Read the thread please.

The original is the one we got (Nier:Gestalt for the Japanese 360)
The other look is a Japan PS3 only alteration called Nier: Replicant.

Again, the character we got in the West IS the original. Get it straight.

Ah, I had assumed otherwise, being it was made by square, this is much better news, as far as writing goes.

"Hiroshimafied" = LOL

...
...
...

Are you happy Yahtzee? Now i have to go hurt myself a few hundred times...

Haha, wasn't expecting Nier at all. It's a bit of an obscure one, I guess, and I put off even looking into it 'cause it did nothing at all to generate my interest. This wasn't going to be the game to change Yahtzee's opinion on RPGs, was it? I laughed the whole way through.

I'm not quite sure if anyone mentioned this since I'm too lazy to read all 100+ posts, but I'm pretty sure the boss is more of a Andross clone from StarFox.

lockgar:
Ah, I had assumed otherwise, being it was made by square, this is much better news, as far as writing goes.

I hate to correct you again, but: It was made by Cavia. Only published by Square.
Just want to clear things up as Yahtzee has a tendency to misinform. :D

Dr. wonderful:

Tonimata:
So, basically, Yahtzee can only describe Nier by doing this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HM9tyNkUAg

IT HAD TO BE DONE! DON'T HIT ME!

Crack knuckles....Oh you so going to get it.

"The funny thing is...I had that in my other tab."

Oh yeah? OH YEAH?!

LET'S SEE YOU BEAT MY BROOKLYN RAGE THEN!

CAN'T BEAT MY, CAN'T BEAT MY, NOBODY CAN BEAT MY BROOKLYN RAGE!

I don't wanna be a furry...

I thought we had declared this a bouche free zone!

Zelda meets Animal Crossing with a dash of Harvest Moon...

No wonder Squeenix didn't promote this.

Great work as always, Mr. Yahtzee. I'm looking forward to the Red Dead Redemption review (assuming you do one), with all the hype about how awesome and groundbreaking it's going to be, I'm interested to see what you have to say about it.

s69-5:

lockgar:
Ah, I had assumed otherwise, being it was made by square, this is much better news, as far as writing goes.

I hate to correct you again, but: It was made by Cavia. Only published by Square.
Just want to clear things up as Yahtzee has a tendency to misinform. :D

Developed, published, point is square had its hand in it. :p

Another great episode Yatzhee.

That Zelda Wind Waker boss looks like a rip off of the hands(Eyerok) you have to battle in Super Mario 64.
image

dang it. i just rented Dead to Rights:Retribution and played it through. i like it. i was hoping he'd review it this week, but NOOOO. choose the typical looking fantasy rpg that you didnt know existed. :(

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Nier

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Nier.

Be sure to join the Zero Punctuation Facebook Fan Page.

Watch Video

hmm was expecting a 3 min rant about the hermaphrodite character and instead i get the closest thing to a love fest for a jrpg from Yahtzee that ive ever heard im shocked and confused.

as for the problems with not enough content and what not i can just hope that there is going to be down loadable content.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Nier

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Nier.

at first i thought Nier was like Harvest Moon but without the shitty peasant monotony... then i saw a buddy playing that Emo/Albino looking dude that looked like the bastard child of Kratos and Gatsu from Berserk.

Japanese are great doing weird things... (i say wierd with a bad connotation; to all japs: don't take it personally.)

iblis666:
[quote="Yahtzee Croshaw" post="6.194326.6190879"]
hmm was expecting a 3 min rant about the hermaphrodite character and instead i get the closest thing to a love fest for a jrpg from Yahtzee that ive ever heard im shocked and confused.

as for the problems with not enough content and what not i can just hope that there is going to be down loadable content.

Probably because Nier isn't really much of a Jrpg as it is a Hack and slash ala Devil may cry.

I normally don't comment in those threads, but the portret of Shigeru Miyamoto was too awesome to miss. Thank you!

I'm surprised that the pun "qier" didn't come up.
Ah well. Good job as always, Yahtzee.

Erana:

Seriously, Yahtzee. I posted that just yesterday. Yesterday. About a game that almost no one has heard of, and before this video has only been mentioned twice in the entire Escapist. Are you trying to screw around with my head‽

He lurks in the SA Let's Play subforum. There's a better chance he saw it there.

Brilliant as always.
I can see why she likes you.

SirMax:

Erana:

Seriously, Yahtzee. I posted that just yesterday. Yesterday. About a game that almost no one has heard of, and before this video has only been mentioned twice in the entire Escapist. Are you trying to screw around with my head‽

He lurks in the SA Let's Play subforum. There's a better chance he saw it there.

Considering that I just posted a link to the Let's Play, don't you think I'd be aware of that? I was trying to use this advantage to be funny. You must have missed the joke.

If I remember correctly, the woman with the pajamas for a costume is supposed to be a hermaphrodite, and this is proudly the majority of her bio. As if Square-Enix was trying to say, "look at all this sexy, you confused teenage boys... now look under the hood! Congrats! You are now confused! :D"

I was wondering how long the androgynous thing was going to kick around before they stepped over to the other end of the line.

Doesn't bother me none. I was just reminded of it when Yahtzee described her outfit.

Good review, though I must say why does Yahtzee feel than females in skimpy armor is a bad thing?

Just FYI everyone, this game is NOT made by Square Enix, only produced by them.

Wait, no jokes on how easy it is to die when the combat gets too hectic?
No puns on how ugly the MC is in comparison to his Japanese-only/DLC cousin?
You didn't even mention that there's four endings, but that all the endings ultimately round up to one big ending when put them together (except for the last two, which has a choice thing to them).

...

So, you wasted 5 minutes and change on how Nier is apparently a life sim...when it isn't even close to being such?
...Are you fucking kidding me? I've beat the game, and I've only ONCE fished, and only ONCE did something with the daughter, and you know what? Both times was one the SAME QUEST! What's this bullshit about life sims?! I've never even fucking gardened! EVER! And the game does repeat itself in terms of dungeons, true, but it doesn't make you go back to the village every HALF HOUR. Also, the five year skip in the story is when the tone of the game changes, so yeah, the characters did more than just sit on their asses. Surprised you didn't say the same for the characters in Mass Effect 2 if that's the case.

Fuck, mate, you wasted our time with bullshit info when there was so much more to bitch about-
Oh, wait a minute. You didn't play through the game, did you? You didn't beat the game even once, did you? What ever happened to the thought out comedy with real reviews? I used to love how intricate the insults were, but now every other word out of your mouth has to do with cocks or dicks. The others are right, mate. You've gotten fuck lazy...

Firia:
If I remember correctly, the woman with the pajamas for a costume is supposed to be a hermaphrodite, and this is proudly the majority of her bio. As if Square-Enix was trying to say, "look at all this sexy, you confused teenage boys... now look under the hood! Congrats! You are now confused! :D"

I was wondering how long the androgynous thing was going to kick around before they stepped over to the other end of the line.

Doesn't bother me none. I was just reminded of it when Yahtzee described her outfit.

Actually I went into the game waiting to hate the hermaphrodite character (who looks NOTHING like a real hermaphrodite, but whatever). She was promoted as such an utter bitch, and yet in the game, she's really a well written character. Her back-story is deep (and a tad boring in how its presented), and she doesn't curse nearly as much as they lead you to beleive. She does curse, though, and when she finally does it's more like "Shithog!" *immature giggle fits from gamers* rather than "I'll rip your dick off and kill you!" O_0

So, yeah, she's not, as many have said (including me at first) Futanari fan-service.

Fellshadow5:
Just FYI everyone, this game is NOT made by Square Enix, only produced by them.

Something Yahtzee would know if he payed a-fucking-ttention. Damn it, Yahtzee!

Everyone you knew and neither of them had heard of it?!

Sorry if it's been done, but I had to point it out...

No-Superman10:
Holy crap how did i not see Nier coming?

Perhaps you need to be checked out for NIER sightedness. (Sorry, I couldn't help it)

Maybe i'm a complete moron, but the 'Boosh!' at the end after the lame pun made me crack up. It kinda makes me wonder if Yahtzee ever saw the TV seres 'Mighty Boosh'.

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