254: The Games That Bind

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The Games That Bind

What happens when two people who met via the internet suddenly find themselves cohabitating in matrimony? After a brief period of adjustment, Amanda Yesilbas and her new husband bonded by playing games together.

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That was great haha... In my flu infected, half asleep state I totally zoned out there. I know that was an article, but it felt like a story... Thanks for that, I'm going to go play my ps3.

D'aaaaaw what a cute ending.Love and BFBC2,who would've thought.

And...
to think that the most prevalent gamer stereotype is that we're all hopelessly shy nerds without any hope of coming in contact with another human being... let alone falling in love and marrying.

Heh.
That's why stereotypes are bullshit.

Very insightful article. There have been games that have created ties for years now. For myself, it must've started about 20 years ago.
At first, my sister and I played single player games together, helping each other out as we puzzled out the riddles of the mysterious castle in Think Quick! (which basically boiled down to evading worms who would eat you, and timing the moment when you opened certain doors).
Then came games such as Wacky Wheels which was simple enough that it required the use of only five or six keys (up, down, left, right, brake, shoot), and the multiplayer was dubbed "hot seat", which meant that each player was scrunched up on her end of the keyboard, engaging in an intense race against her opponent.
Finally, we started playing networked games of the likes of Doom, Duke Nukem 3D, or Shadow Warrior. Sometimes we helped each other out in the cooperative mode, progressing in each mission and moving the story (or lack thereof) along. Sometimes we just had fun blowing each other's brains out.
Bottom line is that some games aren't epic in the sense that the gameplay, the storyline, the music, the graphics, etc, aren't up to the standards which are expected of games today. Yet we still remember them today because of the moments shared back then, and I'm glad to see such a beautiful article with a similar tale of games that bind you together.
Of course, I would've hated playing "there's that dude", preferring to take matters in my own hands, but that's just me. ;)

That was really...nice.

I love falling asleep in bed while I watch my boyfriend play games like Fallout or Oblivion. (I don't TRY to fall asleep, but it's just so comfortable being there watching, that it inevitably leads to dozing.) I try and contribute, usually with a walkthrough guide perched nearby so I feel like I can follow with him. It's really comforting, so I can definitely empathize with everything you wrote.

I love articles like this. To me, there are four areas of games writing. News oriented, which is what dominates the industry today with hype and information. Critical, which focus on analysis and critique (and are horribly done by most of the industry. I'm pretty much restricted to reading The Escapist, Shamus Young's blog and Gamers With Jobs in this regard), Op/Ed which can be critical but is generally more broad but always with a purpose, and then Life. Life is the most under-written aspect of games writing out there, but when I read it I love it. It can have life-lessons hidden within without having to actually provide an argument. Even if it provides no overall point, it's always just nice to see what sort of role games can play in someone's life.

I might be keeping up with your blog from now on just for more like this.

As for the story itself, kind of reminds me of my 2nd year of College living in an apartment with some friends. One of them got Resident Evil 4 and gave me permission to play when he wasn't around or wanted to take a break. Somehow what emerged was a pattern where one would watch as the other progressed, then switch save files. I would play up to where he saved, catching up, but then I would progress to the next major point in the game. Then he would load up his file, play through the segment he just watched me play already knowing the tricks and secrets, and then progress to the next chapter which was new for both of us.

We never needed a FAQ or guide, and while this technically slowed the overall progress it allowed for a bonding moment. We'd make commentary, help point out treasures, potential weak spots, figure out boss fights, and in the end just enjoyed the game together.

Unfortunately after that year we all left the apartment, and I was never able to see him as much anymore. However, every once in a while I think back to that time and send him a message, getting in contact again. I don't know if I would do that if it weren't for Resident Evil 4.

That was really nice, games take less centre stage in my life but it's good to hear how they can help bring and keep a couple together through a shared interest.

I can definitely empathize with the long distance relationship part. I'm currently in a relationship that's going very well and what's tough for us is deciding who's country we're going to move to. It's going to be a difficult road until we're together but it'll be great. Your story fills me with enough hope that we'll be able to make it in the long run, thanks for that. ^^

I like this piece. It is something sweet and different.

Glad Star Wars was able to help, as many people do not appreciate its value :-)

D'aaawh, you honestly had me smile and almost had me squeal from happiness.

I am glad you people pulled it through, my grandma always said: They say patience is a virtue, but patience IS THEvirtue. So far, I have yet to see a lie in that statement I now consider wisdom.

This is so adorable! It reminds me of this summer when my girlfriend forced me to play Okami, she would come over and watch me play, trying to give me advice while I hushed her down, reassuring her that I knew what I was doing (I didn't). And then when a cutscene would come up she would always remind me that I was Waka (the cute, french rival of the main character).

There is nothing better than playing video games with the one you love.

I think I got cavaties reading that. Good cavaties, though.

I'm glad to read it's been working out greatly for both of you.

Playing with someone you enjoy to spend your time with (read as the one or some good friends) is one of the best ways to relax and enjoy the so called life in my opnion.
Plus getting to know your playmates better, much like the time I rolled on the floor at the sight of a left behind Pikmin but nearly cried when I was playing it and forgot one of those pesky things behind, much like simulated actions relecting a inner part of one's being.

Stop spying on my wife and I.
Really, this reflects a lot of my married life. We also take turns between the computer & console (also in the same room) but for some games we just watch each other to the point that if she's in the middle of playing Fallout 3 when I get home, I have to ask what I missed. But with that game "there's a dude" evolves into many variations: "there's a deathclaw" "there's a skillbook" "there's a.... what the hell is that?"

It is definitely a good thing to have similar interests. Besides being able to relate to each other, we are also quite forgiving when one of us gets a little addicted: it happens to both of us and not always with the same games.

Hello i'm a huuuge gamer..and i have a hard time geting to know girl gamers here in italia and online...and wen i do i end up with some liferejected fat canadian girl....i don't want to sound disrespectfull but...after falling in love with a girl that told me she was a Pocahontas lookalike..(for about 5 months than in tears told me the truth to witch i reacted with "it dosen't mater i still love you"but diden't actualy think so,i just wanted to be nice) i think i have the right to say stuff like that.

Yor article realy rules...i hope i'l meet some girlgamer that dosent say she's a Pocahontas lookalike (wen she looks like she eat Pocahontas).Your article filed me with hope...xD i realy wana meet a girlgamer...ive been and still am in casual relashionships with nongamer girls and find it kinda...superficial because we don't actualy blend togheder like i wood want to,but mearly superficialy blend in to one while having sex or doing stuff togheder like shoping (witch i looove)...

I live on my own and have a 2 year old son witch i see in the weekends once or twice a month cose i'm divorced and thinking of a girlgamer in my life at this point realy gives me "a RedBull" and makes me dream about how superawesome it wood be O_O

GIRLGAMERS COME TO DADDY!!!!!! (PSN name so2FAST4U xD)

My wife likes games, but only a very specific kind of casual gaming genre.

Usually revolving around the dine & dash game concept, puzzles, or find the item in the picture games.

I've been playing a lot more console games because she uses the desktop to play her casual games. Definitely going to make space for 2 keyboards and mice in the new home so that I can get back to PC gaming.

She pushed me towards playing console games because she liked to watch me play them while we lay on the bed. Then she could drift to sleep. Now she's too hooked on her PC games to join me:(

See? I knew gaming brings people closer together! I think that is how my sister got married actually.

That was so sweet! I am really happy for the two of you!

interesting how people with same interests can live toguether...

i hate that im the only guy that could be called a geek in my town... i would love to have a girlfriend like that :P

Aw, sounds like my boyfriend and I. I have happy memories of him playing Chrono Trigger on PS1 while I sat on the sofa next to him playing Final Fantasy Tactics Advance on my DS. It was highly amusing as one of us would randomly swear at something, not knowing the context. I think at one point he paused his game to ask me why the hell there were snipers in a FF game, heehee.

That was very sweet.
The closest I've experienced, was Zelda: Twilight Princess, funnily enough. I'd sit on the computer, then steadily getting drawn into what was happening in the game, ending up cheering along, pointing stuff out and just generally chatting about the game together as it was played.

This is the kind of thing I hope for when I'm married/with a long term boyfriend.

Great piece, and a great example of how games being labelled as anti-social is plain silly.

I've enjoyed many many hours playing single player and multiplayer games in my living room with my friends. It's always fun, even if its just swapping controllers during GTA rampages. It's the headset-online-multiplayer stuff I tend not to get, cos there's such a huge disconnect.

Awesome article! It's always nice to see how something as simple as gaming can define our lives in such meaningful ways.

Well, damn. A source of inspiration and hope in the gamer atmosphere that often seems so inescapably negative.

Thanks for sharing this.

LOL THIS WAS>..LOL

It made me remember the times when i set a goal to myself to get myself a gf with which i can play games xD
Hell ur mariage sounds amazing :O

So adorable! Video games are kinds what led me to my boyfriend, so I owe them something. I'm the girlfriend that keeps a guide open on the computer for when my bf needs it. Or I also occasionally like to reclaim my title as "The Goddess of Strategy Games and RPG's".

I met my husband in World of Warcraft - we bonded over farming for herbs in Zangarmarsh (he was also my guild leaders brother) - best decisions I ever made in my life were a.) starting to play WoW and b.) Taking the initiative to start talking to him one night.

It always makes me sad when I see articles that talk about how horrible gaming is for people/relationships - it's nice to see an article like this for a change :D

I love this article. Reminds me of when my gf desperately tries to be "good" at Lego Star Wars just so she could play with me. I even had to promise her to never touch the game unless she's there to play with me.

I'm glad games are bringing people together. These stories are always awesome.

A beautiful article. And it makes me hurt like hell.

I met a girl too, almost a year ago now. She too lives many miles away, we too play games together. 2 Days ago I happily drove up to her in BF:BC2 and honked the horn of my ATV so we could cruise together. It's awesome. A shame we can't actually talk to each other, but still so much fun.

And I too have fallen madly in love with her. More so, in fact, it's not a simple crush, I know that. But with each passing day, the hope that it ever becomes what the article's couple has shrinks a little bit. I know I don't want to be with anyone else than her, but it's not so simple for her. And that hurts, a lot.

I can see that many people see this article as a beacon of hope, and I wished it is too for me, but sadly it makes me hurt even more. I don't know how to handle this whole situation anymore...

My, now husband, and I bonded over CounterStrike a little over ten years ago now.

For the longest time (pre console ownership) I used to watch him play on the PC or I'd join in a remote co-op mode. Later, finally caved and bought a PS2 and 360 and found the joy in sharing the controller for many many games since.

It's so much more interactive than just watching the TV (although we do that too) -- we really seem to connect more as a couple while playing.

I couldn't imagine our lives without video games - it brings out the kid in us and our relationship.

While i appreciate the sentiment, the bioware fan in me was going...it can't have been baldur's gate you were talking about then if kotor was what created your bioware fangirlism, while black isle oversaw them it was bioware who really made them _

Also, go you and your husband.

The last lady, YEAH CS. Win.

Cowabungaa:
A beautiful article. And it makes me hurt like hell.

I met a girl too, almost a year ago now. She too lives many miles away, we too play games together. 2 Days ago I happily drove up to her in BF:BC2 and honked the horn of my ATV so we could cruise together. It's awesome. A shame we can't actually talk to each other, but still so much fun.

And I too have fallen madly in love with her. More so, in fact, it's not a simple crush, I know that. But with each passing day, the hope that it ever becomes what the article's couple has shrinks a little bit. I know I don't want to be with anyone else than her, but it's not so simple for her. And that hurts, a lot.

I can see that many people see this article as a beacon of hope, and I wished it is too for me, but sadly it makes me hurt even more. I don't know how to handle this whole situation anymore...

Step 1) Let her know you have feelings for her.
Step 2) If Step 1 goes well, bus ticket.

(Worked for me!)

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