Critical Miss: #5

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"The hard way, motherfucker!"

Best quote I've heard in a while. Violence for the win.

Ebert, I am going to give you an offer you can't refuse. Either the words "games are art" or your brains on the computer screen...

You know, I wonder....are we going to be getting any badges for reading Critical Miss? I mean, I don't care about badges, but it seems like almost every other show/weekly column (ironically, except for ZP) has them.

oh ya that would help, gamers are already seen in a negative view. all we need is some one to attack a man with no bottom jaw, to kill the industry.

can we please drop the Ebert thing, the man probably hasn't played a game past mario, or tetras.

Undead Dragon King:
I would have probably used the svaerdstave the Hitgirl had in her first encounter with Kick Ass. But that's just me.

I think Erin's motif is a little too "junkyard chic" for a proper has-a-name weapon (never heard of that particular one you mentioned). Weapons fall into two classes:
1) Weapons identifiable as weapons. A sword on the ground is still a weapon.
2) Weapons that are weapons because the crazy person keeps hitting people with them. A rock on the ground isn't a weapon.

Here, Erin's quite safely in the #2 category.

reg42:
I feel this was a bit... It could be quite offensive to Ebert. It's a bit in bad taste.

It's not that bad, really. Critics have been threatened in various ways since the beginning of time. I'm sure the first caveman told the second caveman he was using too much ochre and not enough charcoal in his depiction of the large meat-beast, and probably got a club upside the head in response.

There's a lot of ways this could've been far worse. If Ebert were a 20 year old in perfect health (though an incredibly curmudgeonly 20 year old) the strip would play out the same way. Which given Ebert's history, is remarkable restraint. I can think of at least three ways Erin's intro lines could've been really uncomfortable, and I'm not even trying hard.

Edit: Is it wrong that I want to draw Plank's face on the bucket?

That was funny

keep 'em coming

That will be all

You'd think this would be funny.
It's been done in other webcomics very well.
But this is just stupid.
And what in the heck is the girl's name?

'tis hilarious indeed.

EPIC WIN.
Though scaring Ebert should've been enough.

She should shove his own thumb up his fat ass for all the horrible movies he approved of.

Question about the newspaper: What's the text stamped(?) over the Critical Miss ad in the corner? (Brave newspaper, running a piece on one of its advertisers like that.:)

Love the ultrajoe plug :D

Loving this series too.

Wow, this series is really developing a pattern for atrocious comic style. This joke, like most in the comic, is absoltely terrible for it's telegraphing.

Let's break down the panels.

1: Girl talks about wanting to use violence after seeing Kickass.
2: Sees Ebert and says she's going to change his mind.
3: As superhero, threatens violence.
4: Uses violence.

Sets up a situation, then follows through the situation. No twist, no variation, just doing exactly what you say you're going to do. This comic always leaves a bad taste in that it always tells you what it's punchline is going to be in advance. A character warns that an avalanche of games is coming, then an avalanche of games comes.

Comics as a medium demand a certain understanding of timing style, and organizing panels for an effective punchline, and this comic consistently fails miserably at that.

Edit: But oh, there's an Ultrajoe plug OMG. Really? References? That's supposed to carry the comic? People looking at it and going "Oo! I recognize that thing you just mentioned!"

Finally, something new on the Escapist that's worth my time. I love this. It's brutal, it's raw, but at the same time makes me smirk, but I don't completely understand why. Kudos!

ArmorArmadillo:
Wow, this series is really developing a pattern for atrocious comic style. This joke, like most in the comic, is absoltely terrible for it's telegraphing.

Let's break down the panels.

1: Girl talks about wanting to use violence after seeing Kickass.
2: Sees Ebert and says she's going to change his mind.
3: As superhero, threatens violence.
4: Uses violence.

Sets up a situation, then follows through the situation. No twist, no variation, just doing exactly what you say you're going to do. This comic always leaves a bad taste in that it always tells you what it's punchline is going to be in advance. A character warns that an avalanche of games is coming, then an avalanche of games comes.

Comics as a medium demand a certain understanding of timing style, and organizing panels for an effective punchline, and this comic consistently fails miserably at that.

Edit: But oh, there's an Ultrajoe plug OMG. Really? References? That's supposed to carry the comic? People looking at it and going "Oo! I recognize that thing you just mentioned!"

Oh my, a critic. I could drop the bomb and say "Do better tourself", but that's boring. In stead I will tell you that I DO find it funny, because you can see it coming all along. It makes it that more satisfying when it actually does.

AND, I don't care for Ultrajoe.

Remember when everyone gave a crap about that Ebert thing a month ago?
I give this one or two more comics and then I'm giving up on it.

ArmorArmadillo:
4: Uses violence.

Hmmm. Personally, I thought #4 was "uses violence and suffers consequences that costumed movie characters never do". Certainly not the first time that joke's been used, but it's not quite as Stick Figure Death GIF file as all that.

De Ronneman:
Oh my, a critic.

Quick! Someone get a bucket with two holes in it!

Tom Phoenix:
Ebert, I am going to give you an offer you can't refuse. Either the words "games are art" or your brains on the computer screen...

You know, I wonder....are we going to be getting any badges for reading Critical Miss? I mean, I don't care about badges, but it seems like almost every other show/weekly column (ironically, except for ZP) has them.

Eventually, yes. One will likely have a hamster on it.

lol wtf

HAHA SHE BEAT A CRIPPLED OLD MAN SO HILARIOUS EPIC WINZORS XD

No seriously that wasn't funny in the slightest.

Crazier than a box full of ferrets on meth!
Best description of anyone... ever

SirBryghtside:

ArmorArmadillo:
Wow, this series is really developing a pattern for atrocious comic style. This joke, like most in the comic, is absoltely terrible for it's telegraphing.

Let's break down the panels.

1: Girl talks about wanting to use violence after seeing Kickass.
2: Sees Ebert and says she's going to change his mind.
3: As superhero, threatens violence.
4: Uses violence.

Sets up a situation, then follows through the situation. No twist, no variation, just doing exactly what you say you're going to do. This comic always leaves a bad taste in that it always tells you what it's punchline is going to be in advance. A character warns that an avalanche of games is coming, then an avalanche of games comes.ad.

Comics as a medium demand a certain understanding of timing style, and organizing panels for an effective punchline, and this comic consistently fails miserably at that.

Edit: But oh, there's an Ultrajoe plug OMG. Really? References? That's supposed to carry the comic? People looking at it and going "Oo! I recognize that thing you just mentioned!"

OK. You don't like it. Why are you telling me why I shouldn't?

Because it's bad. That's how criticism works.

Yahtzee:
Without critics telling us what's good or bad we'd all be wearing boulders for hats and drinking hot ebola soup for tea.

I see what you did there...

My Joe is indeed Ultra enough.

We feed him Plutonium rods so his coat has that extra sheen of Ultra.

I don't think my Joe is ultra enough. Does anyone know of a method of fixing it?

Also, oft have I fantasized of engaging in my own brand of vigilante justice, so it was easy to relate...especially with the vicious beating of elderly people who disagree with me.

Good set-up, but why is everyone beating up on Ebert? Leave the poor guy alone.

image

Blair Bennett:

especially with the vicious beating of elderly people who disagree with me.

Which, and let's be frank here, is one of the founding freedoms of the internet.

Critical Miss- Your Source for Two Month Old Jokes.

Trivun:
ULTRAJOE!!!!!

Also, great comic again, love the set-up there :D

Thats the first thing i thought of typing when clicking the comments section.

Also, It setup and took the shot cunningly.

When, for the first time, the media doesn't make a ruckus about how the psychopath was a gamer...

Susan Arendt:
Eventually, yes. One will likely have a hamster on it.

This, and this alone, will keep me at least opening the page with the comic on it.

Yet another random question. When did the "fix" happen? I never saw the original online and I thought I hit it pretty soon after it was uploaded.

Haha, the best one so far!

Grey Carter:

Blair Bennett:

especially with the vicious beating of elderly people who disagree with me.

Which, and let's be frank here, is one of the founding freedoms of the internet.

It's part of why so many people spend time here.

Formica Archonis:
Yet another random question. When did the "fix" happen? I never saw the original online and I thought I hit it pretty soon after it was uploaded.

As in the 'fixed' part of the comic title?

ArmorArmadillo:
Wow, this series is really developing a pattern for atrocious comic style. This joke, like most in the comic, is absoltely terrible for it's telegraphing.

Let's break down the panels.

1: Girl talks about wanting to use violence after seeing Kickass.
2: Sees Ebert and says she's going to change his mind.
3: As superhero, threatens violence.
4: Uses violence.

Sets up a situation, then follows through the situation. No twist, no variation, just doing exactly what you say you're going to do. This comic always leaves a bad taste in that it always tells you what it's punchline is going to be in advance. A character warns that an avalanche of games is coming, then an avalanche of games comes.

Comics as a medium demand a certain understanding of timing style, and organizing panels for an effective punchline, and this comic consistently fails miserably at that.

Edit: But oh, there's an Ultrajoe plug OMG. Really? References? That's supposed to carry the comic? People looking at it and going "Oo! I recognize that thing you just mentioned!"

This is actually a good point about how you can see the punchlines coming. That said, a lot of other comics are still funny despite this problem. In fact, MOST comics have telegraphed jokes from time to time. Since Critical Miss doesn't have a large backlog of comics built up, at this point it's not possible to properly analyze the comic simply because we don't have enough evidence of the cartoonist's style. Five comics are not enough to establish a trend, anymore than five doodles on a napkin are enough to get the measure of someone's artistic talent.

I've seen maybe three or four comics that consistently surprised me in terms of punchlines. Those being: The Perry Bible Fellowship, Cyanide and Happiness, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal and, I dunno, Dilbert or something. Other excellent comics like Foxtrot and Pearls Before Swine, while good, tend to reveal their jokes in advance. But they are still good. That's my point. It's like how you can hear a great comedian tell a joke and you might have heard it before and know how it goes, but because of the WAY he tells it, it's funny anyway.

Point is, don't pass judgement too soon on a series that's only had 5 strips so far. No syndicated cartoonist will ever tell you his or her first five strips were the best he or she ever did. Because they weren't.

Did I mention I've considered cartooning as a career?

There are few problems that cannot be solved through the correct application of force.

Wow, some people are really easy to please.

Where's the part where I laugh?

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