Zero Punctuation: Red Dead Redemption

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While i'm sure this review was mainly ment to be funny, and it is, as a review it's not very good. One, while the controls are pretty much the same as GTA anyone who has ever played GTA 4 knows how horrible the shooting mechanic is and it made me extremely frustrated but in RDR I did not have that frustration since it was much more polished though not perfect.
Two, glitches? Yeah there are a few but making it sound like the game is full of them and implying that it takes away from game play is horribly misleading. I have no idea how anyone is complaining this much about glitches in RDR cause I for sure as hell am not getting anything other than the occasional pop-up in the background and a few hiccups in multiplayer, When people say that this game is filled to the brim with bugs I usually find out that they have not even played the game, at least not very much. If you want to see alot of glitches in an open world game then play Fallout 3 then just try to tell me that RDR has more, then i'll know you're bullshiting.
Three, you really never have to sprint on foot in RDR, there is really no nead when your regular run is much faster than in GTA, sprinting in RDR BARELY speeds you up so its just not worth using.
Four, When someone cannot be bothered to figure out that auto-aim can be turned off, seeing how easy it is to do so, it really tells me that it's a shame review.

So while it's a really funny video, it's a bad review cause when you look at it and other reviews you really can't tell if this guy played the game or not cause he could have gleamed all of this off of others very easily. Is the game perfect? no(none are). Is the game revolutionary? no. Is it a well made game? yes. Is it fun to play? very.

Review was pretty much "Red Dead" right on in my opinion. Beautiful sandbox, beautiful story, complete time sink. Most difficult thing for me was being able to afford enough pot to make the Xbox Achievements attainable.

The review doesn't say "don't play it", it says you can stand on your head with the controller upside down and 2 fingers in your arse, yet still find a way to head-shot 58 Mexicans and awkwardly mosey on to the next cake-walk mission.

No challenge whatsoever, but worth eating a few xanax and drooling your way through 10-20 hours of purty gameplay.

Tied up whores on the train tracks FTW. God bless you, Rockstar.

@floppylobster:

> Some videogames have a storyline making you feel like your accomplishments are getting you
> somewhere. Such as Shadow of the Colossus. These are Games (tm)

And I'm pretty sure you sunk quite some time into Shadow of the Colossus in order to get that feeling of accomplishment. Hence it's a Time Sink(R). In fact, all activities we do are Time Sinks(R). We sink time into activities we do, that's how time flows. An absolute until further notice. And that's why whenever I hear someone use the wording Time Sink(R) in a sentence, its sheer pointlessness envelops and irks me.

The point you raise about accomplishment is unrelated to the Time Sink(R) issue, but it is easily mistaken and, of course, perfectly valid. Therefore, I'd prefer it infinitely more if people (and most of all, reviewers) would rather talk about that than to employ the dreadful, empty Time Sink(R) nomenclature, as it says nothing at all and I'd prefer it if reviewers gave us information rather than nada.

I Thought you were going to do "an other one of those cross-dressing art competitions" (Call of Juarez)? Or was this game just so bad that it didn't matter?

GTA 4 with new beatiful graphics. absolutly stupid gunplay, no fun at all, stupid characters that keeps philosophying while galloping in direction of 30 guys armed to the teeth that shoots you in the face before you shoot in theirs faces. i mean, it is ok to have an unrealistic game, i love them very much. but not when one game that 'tries' to be realistc in all other aspects of his gameplay EXCEPT in the gunplay, witch is the most importante thing in a BOUNTY HUNTER game. tension in shooting. theres no tension, nothing, been sent to a mission in this game is like being asked by your wife to go buy some breads in the bakery. stupid. i could have done better.
money. stupid too. you do all those shit for nothing. you got a wholle new world in there that o you cant do nothing with. the very old story that the industry persist in not change, and when some guys trie to change, they do it wrong (coff molyneux coff).
well, stupid. better luck next time.

and excuse the bad english, im brazilian, no english here. just in propaganda.

lonercs:

Dupeo:
He shouldn't bitch about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

What the options that is easily missed? I realized that I could travel to my waypoint with camping and coaches after I beat the game and most of the treasure hunting challenges. They should of covered that in the manual.

The options that is easily missed because you're dumb. The options that is easily missed is for to you to read the in game tips like players should of. The options that is easily missed is to go back to Grade where you should of learned how to read. These are the options that is easily missed.

Therumancer:

Edward123454321:

Celtic_Kerr:

Edward123454321:

ryno707:
don't get me wrong, i think yahtze does a good job reviewing MOST games, i just think he did a piss poor job reviewing red dead redemption. I didn't have any physics problems while playing the game, maybe thats because I have a 360, and he most likely has the annoying ps3. -snip

Do you honestly think different consoles get designers to use entirely different physics engines?

I'm not even going to read the rest of your post, my eyes might just bleed. ;)

Edward: I must say it would be interesting to try and see a company justify it all if the pulled that stunt. "Well you see in the XBOX 360 game, gravity is stronger, so good luck if you try to shoot someone from more than two feet or make your horse go at a somewhat decent pace" HAHA

Haha yeah that'd be a tough on to explain, do you own all the consoles then?

I wasn't the one who started this, but I will say that I play on a PS-3 and I have not seen ANY of the glitches Yahtzee and other reviewers have reported. Nor have I seen many reports of this kind of thing from players in general on forums like Gamefaqs. I mean there is an occasional referance to this or that, or a freeze up, or whatever, but nothing like the surrealistic glitch world some would have you believe this game produces.

This leads me to believe that reviewers were either provided with unpolished test copies for free or something (not sure, since it's hard to tell when someone is buying a game to review, or being sent a copy. I've gotten the impression both happens in Yahtzee's case), or ironically that some of the reviewers might be pirating buggy copies or something (as unlikely as it might seem).

No way to know for sure. As I've said before, it seems to me that there are more reviewers talking about wierd glitches than there are gamers and typically when a game is a glitch fest the whining is non-stop... and I just don't see that here.

Yes I agree, it's nothing like it was with Fallout 3, where people complained a shit load. (Love that game regardless)

I think Yahtzee, however, probably had these glitches happen once, maybe twice, and just exagerates it, seeing as he's ultimately a comedian, and people only find him funny when he's being a pessimistic knob, even when he's nitpicking or pulling shit out of his ass. (Love him regardless)

hahahah you guys have issues

game number 3 we disagree on, 2 in the same night. while i share many of your observations, there are many things which i'm willing to overlook in favor of ambition. it's innovation that the industry needs, and these things provide it.

yeah glitches exist...it's a huge, multilayered, open world game.

story is interesting, gameplay is mostly fun, unfavorable glitches are few, and your mom is..well...a slut. works out well for us all, and for 60 dollars you can and have done worse...your "mum" excluded.

I really love how Yahtzee thinks, the summary of this game really hit it on the nail, "a beautiful timesink". But if you like the GTA style gameplay, this game is absolutely worth getting, i played through it and i enjoyed it.

So this means no cross dressing competition between this and Call of Hwarez?

Dupeo:

lonercs:

Dupeo:
He shouldn't bitch about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

What the options that is easily missed? I realized that I could travel to my waypoint with camping and coaches after I beat the game and most of the treasure hunting challenges. They should of covered that in the manual.

The options that is easily missed because you're dumb. The options that is easily missed is for to you to read the in game tips like players should of. The options that is easily missed is to go back to Grade where you should of learned how to read. These are the options that is easily missed.

Here are three point wrong with your post:

1) What "Grade"? To "go back to Grade" does not make senses. You need to say a specific grade or no one will understand what your talking about; Grade is incorrect due to capitalization.

2) Why not have in the booklet that comes with the game. You may not come across the particulate tip that says you can fast travel to your way point. It may of been blurry, I could of been away from the screen, or I may on not been able to read it all. I am aware that you can fast travel to a city/settlement, they explain that. However, I was not aware that you could fast travel your way point.

3) Many, including Yahtzee, did not know about the fast travel to your way point. You made an insult, a verbal attack, not only to me but everyone that did not know that. Once again, including Yahtzee.

No Cross-Dressing contest?

:(

You Know Yahtzee ,Not that you'll care, There are cars in the game ,model T's to be precise (E-PENIS LEVEL UP!), but as far as any one is concerned their just interactive props but their near the end of the game (as well as binoculars which Rockstar though would be useless for early part's) but the videos up, I realize there just your oppinons and experiences. Also we can't expect you to go thru every game completely and produce an entertaining video every wensday.

lonercs:

Dupeo:

lonercs:

Dupeo:
He shouldn't bitch about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

What the options that is easily missed? I realized that I could travel to my waypoint with camping and coaches after I beat the game and most of the treasure hunting challenges. They should of covered that in the manual.

The options that is easily missed because you're dumb. The options that is easily missed is for to you to read the in game tips like players should of. The options that is easily missed is to go back to Grade where you should of learned how to read. These are the options that is easily missed.

Here are three point wrong with your post:

1) What "Grade"? To "go back to Grade" does not make senses. You need to say a specific grade or no one will understand what your talking about; Grade is incorrect due to capitalization.

2) Why not have in the booklet that comes with the game. You may not come across the particulate tip that says you can fast travel to your way point. It may of been blurry, I could of been away from the screen, or I may on not been able to read it all. I am aware that you can fast travel to a city/settlement, they explain that. However, I was not aware that you could fast travel your way point.

3) Many, including Yahtzee, did not know about the fast travel to your way point. You made an insult, a verbal attack, not only to me but everyone that did not know that. Once again, including Yahtzee.

But it was not an easy thing to miss, mate.

I'm sorry but I don't understand how you went through the entire game without figuring out that you could fast travel to your way point. That's just mind blowing. As he said, the game gave tips during every bloody loading screen (I must have saw that one 50x) and again -- I can't believe you didn't just one time try to initiate fast travel with a way point already set.

While it is strange that it's not in the instruction manual, a lot of other things aren't either. They seemed to stick with necessity rather than a luxury that wasn't hard to miss.

Out of curiosity, what makes Yahtzee so special that he doesn't deserve the same criticism? This problem was swiftly removed by merely paying attention. There are not special loading screen tips that are blurry or difficult to read. They all have the same size and font.

AllLagNoFrag:

godcommazilla:
Yay!!!!!

.......bet he's gonna hate it.

Well then great job on just rushing to post just to be first.

Great review haha @ the ripping of all gta's. Managing to actually pick out bad points of an overall solid game.

Mountain Lion ftw!

It's not ripping off if it's the same developer. Who did you think he said made it, "Dock Car"?
Also, I'm assuming that Yahtzee is talking 360, because no-one I know who got it on PS3 have experienced any glitches at all.
Oh, but mine just froze, screen still there, once. Probably my fault for jumping a four-horse heavy wagon off a cliff and trying to ride around the rocky terrain on it. I guess the game was stopping me from doing something I would deeply regret.
Also, this being RockStar, I'm disappointed by the inability to swim. Maybe it's more realistic if a gunslinger can't swim. Maybe it helps with immersion. And maybe the online community should step up its game and actually kill me now and then instead of (actually happened continuously for 3 hours in free roam with different players) running away, and, when they do shoot, being killed before their bullet can even be fired.
And no, I don't use multiplayer Dead Eye except when fighting NPCs in the little challenge things.

Dr. Danger:

lonercs:
-SNIP

But it was not an easy thing to miss, mate.

I'm sorry but I don't understand how you went through the entire game without figuring out that you could fast travel to your way point. That's just mind blowing. As he said, the game gave tips during every bloody loading screen (I must have saw that one 50x) and again -- I can't believe you didn't just one time try to initiate fast travel with a way point already set.

While it is strange that it's not in the instruction manual, a lot of other things aren't either. They seemed to stick with necessity rather than a luxury that wasn't hard to miss.

Out of curiosity, what makes Yahtzee so special that he doesn't deserve the same criticism? This problem was swiftly removed by merely paying attention. There are not special loading screen tips that are blurry or difficult to read. They all have the same size and font.

I do not have the best TV so all the tips were quite blurry, plus I do not really read them a lot. Also I DID see "waypoint" on my fast travel a few time in Mexico. I was looking for a certain town, I though waypoint was a specific place on the map, like a landmark. After I beat the game, I either seen the tip afterward or was just curious to know what "waypoint" was. I was how I found out.

As for Yathzee being special, I'll admit I was using his name against you. I assume you are fan of his work and therefore would take back your statement. Since he missed it, and you called me an idiot for missing it as well. I implied that you were calling Yathzee an idiot as well. At that point, if you stuck by your point (while being hostile), I was going to try get the fanboys go after you.

lonercs:

I do not have the best TV so all the tips were quite blurry, plus I do not really read them a lot. Also I DID see "waypoint" on my fast travel a few time in Mexico. I was looking for a certain town, I though waypoint was a specific place on the map, like a landmark. After I beat the game, I either seen the tip afterward or was just curious to know what "waypoint" was. I was how I found out.

As for Yathzee being special, I'll admit I was using his name against you. I assume you are fan of his work and therefore would take back your statement. Since he missed it, and you called me an idiot for missing it as well. I implied that you were calling Yathzee an idiot as well. At that point, if you stuck by your point (while being hostile), I was going to try get the fanboys go after you.

Well, I can't fault you for having a shoddy television. That used to be my problem as well until I got a new one. That's ironically how I figured out the waypoint quick travel too. I had set up camp while having a waypoint set and saw it there. That said, I only clicked it to see what it even meant. Funny because the connection should have been obvious. They even let you do that in GTA, I believe. Rockstar must be smart enough not to advertise quick travelling too much since it means missing out on the world they had to painstakingly detail.

I'm not the one who called you an idiot. You were bantering with a bloke called "Dupeo" and I chimed in. Yahtzee was likely only complaining for comedic effect. I would prefer he didn't gripe about travelling in a video game designed for it. Especially if the option to quick travel is avaliable.

Now that I already played this game for a while, this video became a lot funnier XD

I also hate having to press x to run >_> Whose idea was that???? What happened to the 'move the left stick just a little to walk or push it real hard to run' mechanics? Those used to work fine.

lonercs:

Dupeo:

lonercs:

Dupeo:
He shouldn't bitch about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

What the options that is easily missed? I realized that I could travel to my waypoint with camping and coaches after I beat the game and most of the treasure hunting challenges. They should of covered that in the manual.

The options that is easily missed because you're dumb. The options that is easily missed is for to you to read the in game tips like players should of. The options that is easily missed is to go back to Grade where you should of learned how to read. These are the options that is easily missed.

Here are three point wrong with your post:

1) What "Grade"? To "go back to Grade" does not make senses. You need to say a specific grade or no one will understand what your talking about; Grade is incorrect due to capitalization.

2) Why not have in the booklet that comes with the game. You may not come across the particulate tip that says you can fast travel to your way point. It may of been blurry, I could of been away from the screen, or I may on not been able to read it all. I am aware that you can fast travel to a city/settlement, they explain that. However, I was not aware that you could fast travel your way point.

3) Many, including Yahtzee, did not know about the fast travel to your way point. You made an insult, a verbal attack, not only to me but everyone that did not know that. Once again, including Yahtzee.

Thank you for giving three point wrong with my post.
And yes that was an insult to people who did not understand that particulate tip. I think people that don't understand that particulate tip deserve to be insulted for not understanding that particulate tip. There are plenty of load screens and I know I have seen that particulate tip many times and since I can read I understood that particulate the first time I saw it.

Funny how this review seems to miss the point of the game. Reminds me of the one about Demon's Souls.
Atmosphere and setting are part of the game experience, especially in the context of escapism.
Anyway, listing mainly technical glitches isn't really much of a critical view on the game, as it only covers minor aspects. Hope this was because of the weather.

crotalidian:
I am really looking forward to getting my hands on this game. I'm only renting for consoles right now and currently am wandering through Heavy rain. may have to shift this one up the list for a quick Shufty (anyone non-english do not ask what a shufty is you wont understand)

Dupeo:
He shouldn't bitch about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

true but insta travel breaks immersion which is the best part of a good sandbox game

You can't bitch about travel times when there's fast travel. If you want immersion then you can't bitch about travel times because you don't have to walk/ride everywhere.

Boyninja616:
I might have got Green Spleen Submarine if they hadn't just brought it out for the consoles. Maybe bringing it out for the PC would actually solve the problem Yahtzee mentioned of VERY bad controls, and the one about sprinting.

Rockstar REALLY dropped the ball there. I guess it was because they didn't seem to involve the AWESOME people at Rockstar North.

The controls aren't nearly as awful as he makes them sound. They are actually rather fluent. Don't judge it if you haven't played it. Rockstar did not drop the ball and I am racially offended that you weren't burned shortly after your birth.

wkrepelin:
Take this review, combine it with one of those others that just mindlessly shower the game with praise and you've got a pretty fair idea of the game. What really gets me is that this game, as great as most of it is, is just a reskinned version of every other GTA. The game mechanics are decidedly last generation and it's just wrapped in pretty graphics. I think everyone just shit themselves because there's finally a wester worth playing.

By the way, I'm glad Yahtzee got a truly funny review out again. The last three have been a bit ho-hum after the bar he's set previously.

Cheers.

Have you played the game? The controls are nearly identical but only because those controls work for this genre. Other than a similar mission structure which all sandbox games share that's all RDR has in common with GTAIV. The reason people shower the game with praise is because it's sort of a great game. Easily Game of the Year. And last generation? What the hell does that even mean? Surely you're not referring to Euphoria. If you are then you're an idiot. Just to clarify, "Red Dead" comes from Red Dead Revolver, the game's spiritual successor. Red was the name of the main character. It doesn't refer to a color. I refuse to acknowledge the auto aim complaint simply because you can turn it off. I'm positive that the entire review except for the end was sarcasm. If not he's an idiot.

we can all agree we hate the mountain lions

Plumbomatic:

Boyninja616:
I might have got Green Spleen Submarine if they hadn't just brought it out for the consoles. Maybe bringing it out for the PC would actually solve the problem Yahtzee mentioned of VERY bad controls, and the one about sprinting.

Rockstar REALLY dropped the ball there. I guess it was because they didn't seem to involve the AWESOME people at Rockstar North.

The controls aren't nearly as awful as he makes them sound. They are actually rather fluent. Don't judge it if you haven't played it. Rockstar did not drop the ball and I am racially offended that you weren't burned shortly after your birth.

What the hell prompted that!? Fair enough, you make your point and move on, but you didn't have to insult me at the same time! You certainly didn't have to make it look like I was being a racist just by being born.

Reported.

Plumbomatic:
Have you played the game? The controls are nearly identical but only because those controls work for this genre. Other than a similar mission structure which all sandbox games share that's all RDR has in common with GTAIV. The reason people shower the game with praise is because it's sort of a great game. Easily Game of the Year. And last generation? What the hell does that even mean? Surely you're not referring to Euphoria. If you are then you're an idiot.

Yeah, I have played it. I own it and finished it some time ago. I got 760 gamerscore from it and I really liked it (I'm thinkihng about going for 100% since I'm nearly there already).

Everything I said was true. The game mechanics are decidedly last generation as in the controls and the mission structure is nearly identical to all the gta games on the PS2. I know Euphoria is a current gen engine and I don't know where you got the idea that was what I was talking about. The game is glitchy as hell and it drags in the middle. I would still give it a 9/10 though. It is a competitor for game of the year. It's up there with Mario Galaxy 2, Mass Effect 2 and God of War III but it still has issues and that should be reflected in the game's scores. That's why I said that if you combine this review with one of the other ones that just shower the game with praise as if there's no problems then you'll get a good idea of the way the game really is. It's a really good game but it has issues.

wkrepelin:

Plumbomatic:
Have you played the game? The controls are nearly identical but only because those controls work for this genre. Other than a similar mission structure which all sandbox games share that's all RDR has in common with GTAIV. The reason people shower the game with praise is because it's sort of a great game. Easily Game of the Year. And last generation? What the hell does that even mean? Surely you're not referring to Euphoria. If you are then you're an idiot.

Yeah, I have played it. I own it and finished it some time ago. I got 760 gamerscore from it and I really liked it (I'm thinkihng about going for 100% since I'm nearly there already).

Everything I said was true. The game mechanics are decidedly last generation as in the controls and the mission structure is nearly identical to all the gta games on the PS2. I know Euphoria is a current gen engine and I don't know where you got the idea that was what I was talking about. The game is glitchy as hell and it drags in the middle. I would still give it a 9/10 though. It is a competitor for game of the year. It's up there with Mario Galaxy 2, Mass Effect 2 and God of War III but it still has issues and that should be reflected in the game's scores. That's why I said that if you combine this review with one of the other ones that just shower the game with praise as if there's no problems then you'll get a good idea of the way the game really is. It's a really good game but it has issues.

Once again the controls are nearly identical because they work for this genre. What else could they do? Maybe have right trigger jump and x pause the game? If I remember correctly you couldn't take cover in any GTA games on the Ps2. The mission structure once again can't really be changed, nearly all sandbox games have a similar structure. Meet someone, go to their map marker, work for them, finish mission, meet someone else, and repeat. How the hell could they change that? Nothing about the game is last gen. What game mechanics are you referring to? What, specify, is last gen? You penalize a game for using a good control scheme that works or for using a mission structure that makes sense. Everything you said was idiotic.

Plumbomatic:
Once again the controls are nearly identical because they work for this genre. What else could they do? Maybe have right trigger jump and x pause the game? If I remember correctly you couldn't take cover in any GTA games on the Ps2. The mission structure once again can't really be changed, nearly all sandbox games have a similar structure. Meet someone, go to their map marker, work for them, finish mission, meet someone else, and repeat. How the hell could they change that? Nothing about the game is last gen. What game mechanics are you referring to? What, specify, is last gen? You penalize a game for using a good control scheme that works or for using a mission structure that makes sense. Everything you said was idiotic.

Wow, you are just the whiniest of fanboys and a rude jerk to boot. Why are you on a new account? Get banned or suspended for being rude?

Edit: typo

wkrepelin:

Plumbomatic:
Once again the controls are nearly identical because they work for this genre. What else could they do? Maybe have right trigger jump and x pause the game? If I remember correctly you couldn't take cover in any GTA games on the Ps2. The mission structure once again can't really be changed, nearly all sandbox games have a similar structure. Meet someone, go to their map marker, work for them, finish mission, meet someone else, and repeat. How the hell could they change that? Nothing about the game is last gen. What game mechanics are you referring to? What, specify, is last gen? You penalize a game for using a good control scheme that works or for using a mission structure that makes sense. Everything you said was idiotic.

Wow, you are just the whiniest of fanboys and a rude jerk to boot. Why are you on a new account? Get banned or suspended for being rude?

Edit: typo

When I dismiss all your points you turn to insulting me. Seems like you had and have no argument. I did not have an account prior to yesterday. This account was made specifically to insult you. In my defense you deserve it.

Romeka B:

SonicKoala:
Hm, he spent the overwhelming majority of the review hating on the game, and then at the end we hear the words "beautifully written and beautifully atmospheric" - have to say, didn't see that coming. Regardless, it really seems like this game is worth checking out.

... do you guys even watch these reviews?

He's saying it is, indeed, a good looking, well told video of immersion... it's just missing the whole "game" part. There's no point to getting money to buy guns or horse pills or whatever because: you're not punished in any way for dying, you get the upgrades and extras within the missions anyway, and the "challenges" offer no reward other than "fame" which doesn't give you any real, or rather, palpable advantage/reward while playing.

Watch better. You'll learn something.

You are punished for dying, you lose all progress since your last save. Not all guns are rewarded from mission, you still need ammo, challenges award you rewards like free stagecoaches or the buffalo rifle. I wouldn't call these reviews because they give you a completely incorrect judgment of the game. Nearly none of his complaints are true or make sense. You must not have played the game and you shouldn't pass judgment. Lastly the only thing you'd learn by watching closely is that you are a condescending ass and these farces don't give you an idea of what the game is like.

when i pick up the game next month i'll keep this review in mind

Mountain lions are the bane of my existence... I have yet to meet a bear, though.

I have only experienced one glitch: While out hunting packs of wolves (collected about 60 hearts at this point), a mountain lion (my first encounter) sneaks up on my and chews on my kneecap, so I shoot at it once point blank with the double-barrel shotgun, which of course erases it from existence, only to have my character permanently stuck in "hold-your-gun-up" mode, unable to fire, reload, or take a piss, which is of course about the time another cougar shows up and decides to start browsing the lunch menu for the testicle special... so here I am, unable to run, crouch, shoot, or mount my horse, and this mountain lion is chasing my like I've got honey smoked turkey stapled to my taint; needless to say, the encounter ended with my death and the loss of all the shit I had collected over the past hour since the last save.

Lessons learned from my Purple Monkey Dishwasher experience:

Lesson 1 - Rockstar writing is superb, and any cutscene which makes me want to slap my girlfriend for interrupting is to be considered engaging and relevant to the game, and besides, I asked for a fucking sandwich 2 minutes ago, woman
Lesson 2 - Mountain lions prove my theory that all cats are demons and thus should be destroyed
Lesson 3 - Five finger fillet is not the same in real life as it was in the game, and even when using a butter knife, is extremely painful and damaging to expensive tabletop furniture
Lesson 4 - Just Cause 2 is a horrible, empty black hole of a game, and selling a black hole for 60$ is... well, genius, actually...
Lesson 5 - Plot and character development trumps customization and in-game freedom and online multiplayer any day

Plumbomatic:
The control scheme works, judging by your comment you haven't played the game and you are taking everything Yahtzee said literally. I mean this with high offense, You're and idiot.

You're a troll who seems hellbent on insulting everyone in this thread. Why take criticisms of this game so personally? Did you work on the dev team?
No I haven't played it, I was merely reacting to Yahtzee's review. I take everything he says with a grain of salt. That doesn't matter to you though, as you also insulted another guy who actually did play the game, just because you disagreed with him.
Reported.

why u gotta hate? if you stop thinking so critically about the game you might enjoy it, i personally found the story and plot enthralling.

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