Critical Miss: #9

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Really good art in this one.

I understood what the joke was trying to be, but unfortunately I responded with a 'wtf' moment.
Having never played any Deus Ex games or read about them, I'm not sure what my reaction should be.

Don't beat yourself up over it though, I've seen other successful webcomics start off much worse. :)

Mr. Grey:

ChaosDemon:
Wow, people are idiots sometimes.
To everyone going "This is lame", I put it to you: How about you try releasing a weekly webcomic? (Anyone here who has is exempt)
It's still starting up. Go back to the original Unskippables and Zero Punctuations, a lot of them aren't great as the people behind them worked out what worked and what didn't, and now they are the epically awesome creations we all know and love.

First off... a lot of people are willing to argue that Zero Punctuation has actually degraded in quality and I'd agree. He doesn't have his heart into it as much as he does his lovely Mana Bar. But good for him, not that I mind or anything that it's on the other side of the Earth, no... not at all.

Now back to the comic... My concern is with the writing, which is something I've done time to time. I get the joke, I understand where it's driving at... but it doesn't make me laugh. Possibly because Deus Ex: Invisible War has been picked on so much that I've become immune to any joke that pretty much equates to the punchline of this comic. It's like that "The cake is a lie!" joke; it died fast -- if it ever began.

Could also be that I found the game enjoyable. I didn't look at its big brother and said that it has large shoes to fill, I just played the darn thing. I played it for what it was and to me it played just fine.

And telling people to go out and make a webcomic... have you made a webcomic? Because if not, what you're using is faulty logic that fails to prove anything. Critics exist so that something can be taken down a peg, it keeps the creators grounded in reality and that there is a fault that needs repair. The fault with this is the four panel pacing and punchlines falling flat. The joke was given away before we even got to the second panel, that only works if you're being "stupidly" obvious about it. This wasn't being "stupidly" obvious about it, this was trying to pace itself and build up to it which it couldn't because we all knew where it was going.

See, to me... they could have cut the second panel and given David Boreanaunsauhflfhsafh... that guy his introduction as he's giving Critical Miss there a footrub in its place. Have her find out that Deus Ex: Invisible War doesn't live up to the original Deus Ex in the third panel and then the other guy can say in the fourth, "So you... don't want to get footrubbed by David Boreanaz again?" and she can either say she's moved on, that David was too clingy or "Well I didn't say that."
Which - with that last one - leaves the hidden subtext that some people don't know what they want and that you can't please everyone when it comes to sequels. Cause she'll get disappointed that she didn't get her footrub but got a good game or she'll be disappointed that she didn't get a good game but got a footrub, either way she's going to be disappointed.

That would have been better to me, but that's me. And I haven't written a script for a comic in months, so I don't know how out of touch I am with this. Plus I hardly know these characters like Decoy (Grey Carter) over there, so I wouldn't fault him if he corrected me on her attitude.

Finally, this is all subjective. However, just because I disagree with the punchlines and the set ups, that doesn't make me an idiot.

Having reread my comment and then read yours I actually agree with you (And you're right; I haven't done a webcomic, weekly or otherwise).
What I actually object to (and I apologise for the generalisation of the "Idiots" comment) is the people who put one line comments along the lines of "LAME" or "This is stupid" with no justification.
Will try to think before I type in the future (and also not comment while already in a foul mood).

ChaosDemon:
Having reread my comment and then read yours I actually agree with you (And you're right; I haven't done a webcomic, weekly or otherwise).
What I actually object to (and I apologise for the generalisation of the "Idiots" comment) is the people who put one line comments along the lines of "LAME" or "This is stupid" with no justification.
Will try to think before I type in the future (and also not comment while already in a foul mood).

I see what you mean... I'm sure they have their reasons, but they should post them. So, I agree.

And I probably jumped the gun there as well; I should have known you were talking about them to begin with.

I loved Invisible War. So whatever. Even dumbed down, it had more freedom, gave you more choices and was a better role-playing shooter than 9 out of 10 other similar titles.

Just because you removed the jewel-encrusted crown from a solid gown statue of Dustin Hoffman doesn't mean it's suddenly lost all value.

"When you've finished eating, we can Cuddle and you can stroke my hair." -that gives a whole new meaning to the Phrase 'boy-toy' xD

I melted my invisible war disk, the stink it made was better than the game.

the cake was actually lie this time wasn't it?

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