Don't Film These Games!

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Batsamaritan:
Good article aside from the traditional halo bashing... it's actually getting a bit boring bob, sure the games 2 onwards are WAY too short but thats always been my only real complaint,

He doesn't care about the length, he cares that there is little to no story, and that Master Chief has little to no emotion.

starwarsgeek:
Again with the Halo bashing? The expanded universe adds enough for a good movie to be made without tweaking the source material (Albeit, this would probably piss off the XBL idiot demographic...which would be a plus in my book). It'd probably be best to not base it around the Chief (although, as far as Super Soldiers go, he really isn't so bad), but it wouldn't just be a Starship Troopers clone.

In the end, I really wouldn't want to see a Halo movie, nor a movie based on any other game in that list, but the Halo bashing is getting a little old. Looking forward to your "Must Film" list

I'd love to see one based on Ghosts of Onyx. That book was amazing, and had Spartans that could die, were expendable, and thrown into a situation that they had no chance of winning.

Sylocat:
Who wants to take odds on what games he's going to list as "DO film" next week?

1. Metroid
2. Zelda
3. BioShock
4. Ninja Gaiden

No, no, meh, and I can't judge (never played it).
Metroid, the formula wouldn't work.
Samus: I just scanned this rock, now I must find the smart bomb to kill the next boss! *backtracks through last half of movie, albeit a tad bit faster with a few new shortcuts.
Zelda, again formula problems
I found a boomerang! Now I can use it to kill a giant snake!
BioShock is a great game. It may not translate very well into a movie, due to the story size. It would not benefit from being cut to two hours, or broken into segments. Also, the choice mechanic.
I actually can't think of games that would make good movies. The same problems Ghostbuster had going to a console would be a problem going the other way. I recently saw PoP, and it was pretty good. But it was loosely based on the game, more taking only the title, a few characters, and the dagger. Also, as Bob said, it was already of a more thematic game.
We'd all love to see our favorite game become a movie, but what happens if they mess it up?
On second thought, Arkham Asylum might do ok as a movie, seeing as they have already have practice in the universe of Gotham. The only problem is bringing Joker back.

nhgifnd:

Now there is actually the planned script floating around.

Where might one find this script?

Cyrax987:
I like how any psychotic murderers and gore is called Saw related when Se7en came out in the 90s.

Everyone knows about Saw. Not many people here know about Se7en.

starwarsgeek:

nhgifnd:

Now there is actually the planned script floating around.

Where might one find this script?

Head on over to Ascendantjustice.org or halo.wikia.org

There's a link on both of those somewhere (I think it's in the comments on AJ). It's not the script they're gonna use now I'd say, doesn't make sense now that it's around. Probably just trying to show those Fox Execs what could have been

Drangen:
I keep on hearing people calling the Mortal Kombat thing a SAW knock-off. Are people watching a different clip than I am? How can you compare a clip that sets up an underground fight tournament where most of the clip is a fight scene where the decapitation fatality off screen with a psychological/torture horror franchise. Does SAW now have the "dibs" in movies that are shot a little bit dark and gritty? Maybe I'm missing something here but I just don't get it.

You know, I was gonna say the exact same thing?

Also, Starship Troopers isn't the only "human soldiers fighting aliens" film in the world. By your logic, Starship Troopers is a poor man's Aliens and even if, for some reason, you think that's true, they're both great films. Surely Halo would be closer to what Predators is shaping up to be, with the human fighters going up against a remarkably more technologically and physically advanced enemy.

You know what? I think the world is big enough for more films like that.

JoJoDeathunter:

Batsamaritan:
Good article aside from the traditional halo bashing... it's actually getting a bit boring bob, sure the games 2 onwards are WAY too short but thats always been my only real complaint,

some omissions from your list... major one would be half-life... tempting to hollywood i'm sure but i hope to god it never happens...

hey at least we won't get rapelay live action!

I don't think he was bashing all of the Halo series, rather only the storyline and characters, and he's right, how boring would Masterchief be in a movie?

Think of all the fancy conversations Le Chef has had in the past 3 games, and think of his wide array of facial expressions he demonstrated!

To be honest I'd much rather watch a Steven Seagal movie... Thats how bad the Halo movie idea is

F-I-D-O:

He doesn't care about the length, he cares that there is little to no story, and that Master Chief has little to no emotion.

I'm gonna have to disagree with that second half. Although he has the "tough guy unable to show emotion" thing going on, the animation in some of Halo 3's cutscenes actually does get some through without him talking about it (and, in my opinion, was one of the sole redeeming features of the third game's campaign).

While his dialogue is emotion-defficient, his movement isn't...in Halo 3, anyway.

And, yeah, I could see a GoH movie working (although that would technically be a book movie, not a game movie).

Sure I'd love to see a few games turned into movies. But there is just something about games that just doesn't translate well to movies. The appeal of games is its different for everyone, how one person completes a level or game totally differs from another. Granted most of the time the ending is the same for everyone. But how you get their is totally different. So when Looking at a game adaption into a movie. You might look at it and say, wow I'd never take that route I'd go this way and do it differently.

Batsamaritan:
major one would be half-life... tempting to hollywood i'm sure but i hope to god it never happens...

Wouldn't be hard to find an actor for Gordon Freeman at least, all they need is an arm and a crowbar.
I just hope to God (Even though I don't believe in God) that they never make a Half-Life film.

Gotta agree with the Uncharted comments. As much as I love those game I think they will make horrible movies. We all know its coming though.

3nimac:

5. Assassins Creed ... I'd like to see that.

Not until the series is over at least.

*Edit*
If they do I think Sam Witwer would make a good Desmond

I'm only a few lines into the article but I have to ask - Am I the only person who liked the Spawn film?

Sylocat:
Who wants to take odds on what games he's going to list as "DO film" next week?

1. Metroid
2. Zelda
3. BioShock
4. Ninja Gaiden

All (or at least most) of those would make absolutely terrible films. The only way you could possibly do Bioshock is if you made it about Ryan and the creation/decay of Rapture. Metroid, Zelda, and the actual story you play through in Bioshock, all have the same problems of story structure designed for games (you know, the old "go here, kill/take that" formula) and of course, mute and personality-free protagonists. Ninja Gaiden....I don't know, I haven't played it, but I've heard that it's story is really bad. Again, not judging. That's just what I've heard.

OT: OK, I understand all the hate leveled at Nathan Drake. A lot of his "humor" falls flat and it is pretty hypocritical for him to be gunning down mercenaries all day without batting a morally-ambiguous eyelash. (He even tosses an innocent security guard off a cliff in the museum level) But come on: Is he really less likable then say, Marcus Fenix? Or for that manner, all the one-note badasses that populate, no, PLAGUE modern action games/films? And honestly, you haven't played either of the Uncharted games, so obviously you have no right to judge the character.

But more to the point: Apparently Moviebob has yet to grasp a very simple concept: BEING FILMABLE IS NOT THE MEASURE OF A GOOD GAME.

Other then that, though, good article. He's right about everything else. Looking forward to the "Film These Games" article. I personally think that there aren't any games that would make truly good films, but hey. I'll hear him out.

Chipperz:

Drangen:
I keep on hearing people calling the Mortal Kombat thing a SAW knock-off. Are people watching a different clip than I am? How can you compare a clip that sets up an underground fight tournament where most of the clip is a fight scene where the decapitation fatality off screen with a psychological/torture horror franchise. Does SAW now have the "dibs" in movies that are shot a little bit dark and gritty? Maybe I'm missing something here but I just don't get it.

You know, I was gonna say the exact same thing?

Also, Starship Troopers isn't the only "human soldiers fighting aliens" film in the world. By your logic, Starship Troopers is a poor man's Aliens and even if, for some reason, you think that's true, they're both great films. Surely Halo would be closer to what Predators is shaping up to be, with the human fighters going up against a remarkably more technologically and physically advanced enemy.

You know what? I think the world is big enough for more films like that.

the only problem is that the starship troopers movie was sort of like the book... a commentary of war in general... except the sequels were just about halo versus bugs.

Loop Stricken:
I'm only a few lines into the article but I have to ask - Am I the only person who liked the Spawn film?

I sort of liked it. John Leguizamo stole that film completely.

---

Worlds of Warcraft or Starcraft as movies would be cool.
... Or even the Command and Conquer series. That studio is halfway there anyway.

hmm yeh i can see how that mk short looks like a saw knockoff. color scheme and all. But still rather see the movie made in that light. since the movie will be made it would appear.

p.s. ill watch/read anything Starcraft. no matter the quality! my one true vice!

Now here's something that looks interesting. At least in my opinion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs

Who knows? With the right premise, it could actually pull it off.

It's sad but true that Hollywood is going to get bored with it's overly masculine men in tight spandex and move into the untouchable idea of video game movies. Wish they learned their lesson with the other poorly done ones of the past. Next they'll be making Bejewled the movie.
Other games the SHOULD NEVER be a movie. Zelda, the main actor with have no lines just grunts. Portal, just... no. Mass Effect, god wish they really really can this film before it starts because part of what makes Mass Effect good was how you picked what would happen in the game and how your Shep acted and treated others. They're basically taking the cardboard cut out quick start Shep and going from there. Dragon Age, same reason as Mass Effect. Lastly, WoW, how the hell could they even do that as a movie?

MovieBob:
Don't Film These Games!

These are the videogame movies MovieBob really, really doesn't want to see.

Read Full Article

Nothing can be more 2nd rate than Starship Troopers. Ever.

Especially considering what they could've done, had they read the whole friggen book.

Wardnath:

Cyrax987:
I like how any psychotic murderers and gore is called Saw related when Se7en came out in the 90s.

Everyone knows about Saw. Not many people here know about Se7en.

If that's true, then we certainly live in dark times.

On the comic book movie front, Iron Fist has been in development hell for nearly a decade, but if it happens Ray Park is playing the title role. For a video game movie to work you have to put it in the correct hands, not Uwe Boll or Paul W.S. Anderson. Though I have to say in Paul's defense, the first resident evil was good, and the only one he directed instead of just wrote.

I like your list, and I look forward to the games you DO want to see adapted!

MovieBob:
Don't Film These Games!

These are the videogame movies MovieBob really, really doesn't want to see.

Read Full Article

As a few other members have, I have to ask, how is the MK trailer like Saw? I personally don't see the connection. I would really appreciate it if someone could fill me in.

I didn't realize that 38% on RT was 'mostly decent'. And that a domestic box office flop was considered doing well. What an odd dimension he must live in.

It's doing well internationally, for some reason.

dragontiers:
As a few other members have, I have to ask, how is the MK trailer like Saw? I personally don't see the connection. I would really appreciate it if someone could fill me in.

Word. I saw the first three Saws(The good one, the decent one, and the one so bad it made me stop watching them) and I don't think I saw anything like that... If the last one that came out, Saw XXVII or whatever, had some bad-ass psychopathic killers fighting one another in a no-holds-barred cage match to the death then I might have to go and see it.

Well ya I see why you would not want the drugged out wittless "H'wood" to try and not recreate them via their generic and lackluster abilities.....

But....lets run them down anyway.

Left 4 Dead::meh any dawn of the dead film is a good example as to why making film of L4D is bad.....

Call of Duty:I dunno a pointless war flick with a generic story using a lot of explosions dose not sound so bad...oh wait we have 2 transformer films for that....

Shadow of the Colossus: I dunno take bits from the golden compass and bits from the dark crystal and a dash of howls moving castle keep the dailog simple and witty focus on getting the items form the monsters in the dailog/ sub plots action wise do a bit of time bandits and actiony action sequances I dunno it could be good.

Uncharted:is so generic and bland it would be easy to make into a film.

Tomb Raider:More classic Indiana Jones with some matrails arts (Jackie chan style) and dual pistol action less painted up domomatrix digging in the ground with over priced "toys"............

Monkey Island: One word princess bride.....ok thats 2 words...... there is no reason why Monkey island could not be made into a great film under the right guidance.

God of War:ya you said it if they took COTT and made more violent it could work.

Final Fantasy: I dunno...... take LOTR and Star wars bring the over all tech level down to oh say a blend of medieval styles using high tech ships and what not but they have yet to leave the planet so the ships are not that great.

Art direction would be more LOTR crossed with 5th element. You break magic and physical abilities into techniques and magic own is using the bodies energy to produce a enough energy to profrom an attack where as magic relies on metal energy.

You don't have to go into it more than that for the over all plot do a mix of krull and princess bride.

Monster Hunter:it another generic setting with no rhyme or reason you'd have to make up a story useing the fiction and plot it out....blah,....

Halo: This is easiest one of all take star wars lower the tech a bit and toss in a bit of Star troopers 1.

I am surprised you didn't mention ZELDA
http://www.gameculture.com/2010/06/10/it-finally-time-zelda-movie

Cyrax987:
I like how any psychotic murderers and gore is called Saw related when Se7en came out in the 90s.

Pretty much this, you know when I saw that MK short I remembered how I felt about the game the first time I saw a fatality done in the arcades back in the early 90s.

MK is and has always been about the gorno, and honestly it's one of the reason's why I've never liked the franchise...=/

Anyways, I agree with Uncharted, I own the game, the game is awesome but the story is way to "Indy" generic. At its best it could be a half way decent Indy knock off which is more than I can say about he films Sahara or that one Jessica Alba and the lead from Fast and Furious was in...>>

God of War can work as long as they don't pussy foot around with Kratos' character by trying to make him out to be a wronged anti-hero....I mean the guy is a homicidal maniac, a "bad guy," don't change that because it might lose the audience.

Finally as for Halo, considering how many fans there are of the game I'm pretty sure the movie will be the testosterone fueled version of Twilight, utter garbage if not perfect for its demographic...=/

This is why we're currently inundated with remakes and adaptations - making your greenlight recommendation based on "the original material already made X amount of money!" comes with less personal blame potential than "I think this should get made." Even if the original material is a line of toys, or a boardgame.

This summer... in a world gone wrong... one man... must beat the opposition... in a tournament he's been training for his whole life. Little does he know... he's playing for his freedom. And he's only got vowels. Rob Schneider is... The Scrabble Player. Rated PG-13.

Monkey Island

Made a great stage play though. Great for a highschool production, that is.

Really looking forward to Part II of this article series.

I'unno, I've thought of FFI in movie form (not fully, and the lack of character to the characters would prolly be a problem to Hollywood), and I could see (or rather, would like to see) FFII fleshed out more, though that deal may be seen as a fantasy-set Star Wars or somethin'.

MovieBob, I love you, but shut up about Halo already. You don't like it. That's okay. Move on.

Personally, I think a Halo movie, if the stars aligned, could actually be pretty good. It's basically a matter of how much influence Bungie gets on the movie and how little Michael Bay/anybody resembling Michael Bay - such as most of the game's fans - does. Bungie actually created a fairly nuanced and interesting world for its setting. Halo multiplayer funs turned it into a teabagging festival. Sadly, that's the part people remember the most.

Halo could be amazing, but it would be a very hard movie to pull off, considering it has a 99% chance of sucking, and maybe a 1% of chance of being done right and being amazing, I would pass on it.

Did you really just say "zombies are done?" ZOMBIES ARE DONE!? ZOMBIE MOVIES ARE AWESOME!!!

Not that L4D should be made into a movie, just saying, there should always be new zombie movies.

World War Z, now THAT would make a good zombie movie, it has a great narrative.

"Zombies are over, unless your name is George Romero."
Or Max Brooks. You know there is going to be a World War Z movie, right?

They did Avatar... So why not Halo?
Just reskin Avatar and you are allready a long way.

Bob is 100% correct on this one: many popular games cannot be translated into movies because they use derivative settings and plots from already famous movies. Turning one of these games into a movie simply results in a watered down, generic imitation of the original sources for the movies. Want a good Tomb Raider or Uncharted movie? Just watch Indiana Jones. A COD movie? Watch Saving Private Ryan and Enemy at the Gate.

And zombies are out? Not if you make Stubbs the Zombie into a movie. Now that would work.

Let me address something right here: Nathan Drake isn't much of a douche. He has a few sarcastic quips. That's pretty much it. He doesn't jump around and scream to get laughs like Dane Cook. He even cries at the end of Uncharted 2, but I guess since you haven't played the game, you wouldn't know that. But hey, what should I expect from a guy who thinks putting Robin in the next Batman movie is a good idea.

About the Monkey Island being too much like POTC, think about it for a minute. Guybrush Threepwood (played by Orlando Bloom) seeks to win the heart of the Governess Elaine Marley (played by Keira Knightley) and gets his chance to rescue her from the vicious zombie pirate captain LeChuck (played by Geoffrey Rush) who makes his hideout in a hidden island cove known as Monkey Island. He's aided by an original character played by Johnny Depp who helps Guybrush become a Pirate himself and stop LeChuck once and for all.

That's right: Pirates of the Carribean isn't just like Monkey Island; IT IS MONKEY ISLAND!

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