That Won't Be in the Movie

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That Won't Be in the Movie

Ten stories that will NOT be coming to a theater near you.

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As has been discussed ad-naseum, Hollywood in this tenth year of the 20th Century is all about adaptations.

We're in the 21st century now Bob. Pedantic I know, but still. Oh, and I just noticed you misspelled ad-nauseum. Yeah, I'm everything that's wrong about the internet.

Fun article. For those who want more there's always SuperDickery.

MovieBob:
That Won't Be in the Movie

Ten stories that will NOT be coming to a theater near you.

Read Full Article

I thought Sherlock Holmes was addicted to opium?

And wasn't it supposed to be inferred that opium was in his pipe at points during the latest Holmes movie?

That was the funniest thing I've read all day. The part about the superman sex tape really made laugh.

Leonardo Killed Raphael (He Got Better) After Learning That Either of Them Could Be the True Father of April O'Neil's Half-Human/Half-Turtle Child, Mona

That didn't actually happen. I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

Damn you, damn you to hell. You actually caught me out on that one.

How about Spiderman Loses Twenty Years of His Life and doesn't worry about it. or almost anything off Superdickery.

or Colossus, 30, has a physical affair with Shadowcat when she's 14, or Magick is taken into hell and dressed up as a whore, but definitely nothing else, and don't even get me started on the Second World War Ones...

While technically not in theaters, weren't the Godzilla examples still movies? And I don't necessarily agree with the "Americans are villians" problem in GvsKG. I was pretty amused by it actually. Besides Doug Gordon from Godzilla: Final Wars more than makes up for it.

awesome read.

No Rule 34 for Comet yet?

Thank god for Rule 35 >.>

I'm pretty sure that last one exists in a flash movie....

not that I'd ever stumble upon it.

Supergirl (Probably) F**ked Her Pet Horse

Oh, come on. No Catherine the Great jokes?

Ten stories that WILL NOT be coming to a theater near you

Sherlock Holmes is a Coke Fiend

Yeah, this plot is pretty unlike, especially unlikely if you take into consideration the glaring fact that the actor playing Sherlock Holmes is freakin' ROBERT DOWNEY JR! That would be like making Mickey Rourke play someone who gets botched plastic surgery...

Spider-Man Was Molested

You know, we DO have a "gritty reboot" of the franchise on the horizon......the inclusion of this story is disturbingly possible......

The bit about Godzilla being powered by the souls of the Japanese killed during WWII has me wondering; what if he fought a monster who gained its power from the vengeful spirits of those killed by the Japanese empire during the war? Then who would have the advantage?

Nautical Honors Society:

MovieBob:
That Won't Be in the Movie

Ten stories that will NOT be coming to a theater near you.

Read Full Article

I thought Sherlock Holmes was addicted to opium?

And wasn't it supposed to be inferred that opium was in his pipe at points during the latest Holmes movie?

Nope, it was cocaine. If you read "The Sign of Four", it's mentioned as his infamous seven percent solution.

Sherlock Holmes being addicted to cocaine did make it into a movie screenplay (based on a novel).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven-Per-Cent_Solution_%28film%29
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075194/

BTW, I enjoyed the novel, and the movie somewhat less so.

lmao, very true, and they never will, and...thats because Hollywood wants to sensationalise!

AH well...world cant be perfect

If they somehow crammed all of these ideas into a single, massive cross-over extravaganza film, I'd pay to see it.

I really would. It's a missed opportunity for Hollywood.

Want to know another comic book story that won't make it to theaters?

This one is for Ninja Turtles fans.

I forgot, there was a Comet in a modern Supergirl comics. A female, bisexual stand-up comic who had the ability to transform into a super-powered man called Comet. So, yeah.

hurricanejbb:

Nautical Honors Society:

MovieBob:
That Won't Be in the Movie

Ten stories that will NOT be coming to a theater near you.

Read Full Article

I thought Sherlock Holmes was addicted to opium?

And wasn't it supposed to be inferred that opium was in his pipe at points during the latest Holmes movie?

Nope, it was cocaine. If you read "The Sign of Four", it's mentioned as his infamous seven percent solution.

Yup, it was also shown in A Scandal in Bohemia and in The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarte, Watson weans Holmes off coke. However I think there is one story in which Holmes goes undercover and sends Watson a message from an opium den.

The creator of Wonder Woman was involved in menage et trois with his wife and sectary. The sectary was also his sub slave. I wonder why poeple caught in wonder womans rope have to tell truth and she wore bracelets all the time?

Ehhh a movie about the last story could be done. I guess.
Should make an interesting movie for sure

MovieBob:
Luckily for all involved, Rule 34 had yet to be written.

Yeah, but just wait. It'll crop up now for sure.

Huh, I thought they made Lana Lang up for Smallville.

Oh, and what's Rule 34? I've seen it mentioned a couple of times (an American thing)?

Woodsey:
Huh, I thought they made Lana Lang up for Smallville.

Oh, and what's Rule 34? I've seen it mentioned a couple of times (an American thing)?

Rule 34. For anything you can think of, there will be pornography of it on the internet.

I'm pretty sure I've seen Holmes shoot and sniff cocaine in a TV-series...

The whole Sherlock was addicted was addressed in a movie. Okay, so it was a TV movie, but still a movie. Sherlock: Case of Evil with James D'Arcy as Sherlock, Vincent D'Onofrio as Moriarty, and Gabrielle Anwar as Rebecca Doyle. It's set like kinda a prequel where Sherlock is out to stop Moriarty's heroin business and is taken hostage and forcibly drugged until he is addicted.

It may not be the best movie in the world, but it still addresses the issue.

Silk_Sk:
Besides Doug Gordon from Godzilla: Final Wars more than makes up for it.

lol

I was only aware of half of the things on this list.

I remember both the Godzilla ones though, the first one about Godzilla vs. America completely went over my little head back then, and the second one has the benefit of being THE BEST FUCKING ONE OF THE ENTIRE MILLENIUM ERA despite that Ghidorah was in a role he didnt quite fit, and they chose Baragon over Anguirus, but I guess the box office is even important over in Japan.

Sherlock Holmes major vice was also something I've been aware of since I was young even though I never read it till I got older.

hurricanejbb:

Nautical Honors Society:

MovieBob:
That Won't Be in the Movie

Ten stories that will NOT be coming to a theater near you.

Read Full Article

I thought Sherlock Holmes was addicted to opium?

And wasn't it supposed to be inferred that opium was in his pipe at points during the latest Holmes movie?

Nope, it was cocaine. If you read "The Sign of Four", it's mentioned as his infamous seven percent solution.

Funny, I remembered it being an opium addiction too. Is this true or just some random myth or a coincidence that two people have a clear vision of Holmes being on opium addict?

Holmes' seven-percent solution was a solution of cocaine and morphine--which, technically speaking, is an opiate--if I recall correctly. Watson later convinced him to drop the habit.

Watson once stumbled across Holmes in an opium den, but he was on a stakeout in disguise and not using.

I've heard various reasons why the Ritchie/Downey Jr. Holmes didn't do coke, but I think the most likely is keeping the film rating down. Most jurisdictions seem to heavily restrict films that portray drug use. (The only reason I can see Hot Tub Time Machine getting an 18A rating in Ontario is because of John Cusack using cocaine--nothing else in there was really that bad.)

MovieBob:
I mean, c'mon - What do you think is on his mind, taking her for a malt? Luckily for all involved, Rule 34 had yet to be written.

You do realize that, now that you've mentioned it, it's only a matter of time, right?

The horror... D:

"However, as you've noticed that we are currently not living under neo-Amazonian rule, it can be said that he didn't have a gift for foresight."

Are you sure about that, Bob? I'll bet we'll be not ten years from now. :)

But seriously, great article. I thought you were gonna mention banal stuff like Blue and Red Superman, Mxyzplk (was he in the comics, anyway?), G'nort... you know, the usual. But you surprised me, I hadn' heard about any of the bizarre events you mentioned.

Thank Eris for that!

I literally rolled around laughing when I read the Turtles thing before reading the sentence after. I actually believed you.

Superman has a thing for L.L. names because his birth name is Kal-EL. It's all subconscious.

Sometimes I think you have WAY to much time on your hands, Bob.

That Superman sextape would make an funny spoof, if it isn't already.

Leonardo Killed Raphael (He Got Better) After Learning That Either of Them Could Be the True Father of April O'Neil's Half-Human/Half-Turtle Child, Mona
Don't scare me like that...

OT:That was a pretty funny and disturbing read.

Now i have new things to look up on Wikipedia!

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