Zero Punctuation: E3 2010

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I object to polo shirts being depicted as something a casual would wear. I have done nothing but brush up on old course material for my classes, D&D, social drinking and PC games all summer and I like polo shirts.

Top Dollar:


You have to be joking. They have yet to invent the 3D that has things zipping past your ears. Things that go off screen still go off screen, meaning you can't see them. And I doubt that such a jump in technology will exist in a handheld gaming device first. What you're describing is that sort of Star Trek holographic thing that Yahtzee said to wake him when is real.

3D IS a gimmick, and even worse most things that make use of it do it poorly, shoehorning in images of things being pointed at the screen that practically yells "LOOK AT THIS HO HO HOOO!"

A gimmick which has been being used since the mid nineties and will improve to the point you are talking about eventually? Why is this a gimmick and not the early stages of evolution? Ignoring all that, you are talking about FILMS. This is for games which presumably could aid in things like judging distances.
Why are you all so violently against trying new things? Are you worried you might actually like something?

That's like excusing those now comically used black and white film clips of proto-planes falling apart because they eventually led to the jumbo jet. Here's news: they still sucked.

At least in the '90s it was more or less limited to amusement parks that could also spray you with water or literally jab you in the back (curse you, Animal Kingdom!)and episodes of sitcoms that seemed to either intentionally or not parody the whole thing by sticking things at the screen and laughing about it.

The first thing to do for 3D to get off gimmick street is to stop misusing it. Working 3D elements into an already solid work in subtle ways to raise immersion, ostensibly the purpose of 3D, is the way to go. Not directing as many images as possible to jut out towards the screen. Yes, I'm talking about films because that's the last step forward in media it took (TV sitcoms notwithstanding) since pop up books-which were some of them interactive I guess. Forgive me if I don't expect Nintendo, who arguably have a fondness for gimmicks-to have that metaphorical Kitty-Hawk moment with its first foray into gaming.

The good news for you is that even though those proto-planes sucked, some people kept working on it until they got it right, and it worked great. I'm sure there were hateful little gremlins like myself facing flight too. So when/if someone gets 3D to work well, you and I and nerds everywhere will have a great big hooray that the world is one step closer to a Gene Roddenberry utopia.

Yahtzee doesn't get to go to E3? Really?

I don't know whether to feel sorry for him or praise his luck.

This review of E3 is right on the money,good job!

Huh. did anyone else notice that the video got snipped back down to five minutes? It appears that the song is no longer in place.

I liked the vid, even tho it was more a moan about motion controls than E3 itself. Its already been said several times that Yahtzee seemed to forget about Portal2, perhaps he plans on dedicating an entire vid to it? I don't know how his twisted mind works...

actually I do, sort of. On the subject of motion controls I kinda expected him to say this:

"Right, motion controls. Permit me to sum up my thoughts on them in their entirity *Long Gargling/choking noise* Sorted. Moving on"

I liked the bit about Rising, because yeah, it is obvious Kojima wanted people to like Raiden and so thats why he's a ninja-cyborg-thing in MGS4 yet it was still rather funny.

Also I liked the song... its the ONLY song of hers that I like, yeah I wouldn't surprised to hear a limerick come-back.

Also looking forward to ZP: Split/Second ("coming soon" I assume)

I almost fell out of my chair laughing when he showed the picture of the mascot and i thought "the hell..." and he made the joke of how fucking creepy it looked and the AAAAAA of his 2-d self and i exploded with laughter.

One of the best episodes of the year so far! Keep it up!

I'm afraid that I didn't enjoy this video as much as the last E3 slaughter. It was still good, but the previous one was better. To be fair, though, it could just be that last year had better material, I dunno.

He kinda stayed away from the stuff that looks slightly good [imo medel of honer, mafia 2] and the real good stuff [again imo portal 2, crysis 2].

No Portal 2?

"Another Bloody Zelda/Donkey Kong/Metroid"

You say that like it's a bad thing, Twatzee.

"You found the breasts suit!" made my day. Kind of a metaphor for everything that has gone wrong with the games industry lately.

Ahhh, I was looking forward to this.

I'm not a fan of the 3D gaming either, hell I'm not that big on the 3D cinema but at least I could buy the dvd in not 3D.

Shamanic Rhythm:
"You found the breasts suit!" made my day. Kind of a metaphor for everything that has gone wrong with the games industry lately.

Bad jokes?

If team ninja seriously screws up Samus, I'll never forgive them. Metroid II was my first game ever, so the series holds a special place in my heart.

Weell, what Yahtzee didn't mention is that the "Team Ninja" that is working on the Metroid game isn't the same "Team Ninja" that made DoA/Ninja Gaiden/Volleyball. Same name yeah, but it's just a shell, considering Itagaki and apparently a good chunk of devs from the team left and formed Valhalla.

But hey, at least that means no jiggling Samus-breasts, at least the way Itagaki could make them jiggle...

Someone should just buy Hideo Kojima a male prostitue Raiden lookalike and lock them together in a bedroom for three days. That should get it out of his system. That said, I wouldn't mind if he sent me the lookalike after he was finished with him. And a pair of high heels.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
E3 2010

This week, Zero Punctuation digs into the news from E3 2010.

Be sure to join the Zero Punctuation Facebook Fan Page.

Watch Video

So much Truth you said it all, i can't handle it in my brain, i might get depressed that this generation of games will suck ass so much that it doesn't even matter to talk about games anymore...

well, for now at least...

Nathaniel Formtwister:

I didn't see that song either (at the end of the video, anyway). Was wondering what everyone was going on about haha.

That's because it's been removed from the end of the clip, possibly so that people weren't put under false impressions that the video was going to be an eight-minute epic concerning every minute game that was announced at E3, but probably because the Escapist got fed up with all of the damn Rebecca Mayes haters on this very thread.

Still, controversy feeds publicity, which ironically is what Yahtzee said in another review.

We should all just subject Rebecca Mayes to the greatest insult an enemy can receive; to be ignored.

I -read- A Tale of Two Cities. :D
Good ending.

I don't even know why people bother with E3 anymore, it's just a parade of shitty sequels, remakes, and Blizzard and Valve promising shit.

For the same reason people keep bothering with Hollywood, I guess.

hehe great again Yahtzee. I couldn't give two shakes over motion control either.

Thought this was actually pretty funny this time around. Btw, I'm really surprised that Yahtzee failed to mention anything about Portal 2.

Oh you dick, I'm halfway through a tale of two cities, thanks for ruining the ending *menacing glare*

So he apparently does not only writes Articles, where he complains about standards he made up on the fly, but makes videos where he does the same thing again? Couldn't care less, first and last video I have seen from this guy.

"Splatterhouse looks fun"

Amen Yahtzee.

I don't even know why people bother with E3 anymore, it's just a parade of shitty sequels, remakes, and Blizzard and Valve promising shit.

Yes but at least some of the shit has a ruby hidden in it sometimes.

I couldn't help but notice the Metro 2033 box art... he should review that.

As always, bang on the money. A brutal cross section/dissection of all that is wrong in the games industry and dare I say the entertainment industry in general. Keep them sweating in their ivory towers mate. Best regards.

Good episode but I FUCKING LOVE RIADEN

I couldn't help but notice the Metro 2033 box art... he should review that.

I agree. The fact that he compared it to Phantom of the Opera makes me feel more confident in him than the official Escapist review criticizing it for not being a run-and-gunner (I mean what the hell is wrong with a game not being CoD).

I enjoyed the yelling at game companies' attempts at motion control. One thing I think he should check out is feedback controllers. The Novint Falcon is basically a mouse except attached to a motor that provides feedback to your actions in certain modified PC games. Using a FORCE PUSH move in Kinect to push a box in, say, Penumbra would be a fucking stupid idea when it's far more realistic and immersive to use force feedback controls that make it harder to push around heavier objects. Or more relatably to most gamers, feeling some damn recoil when you shoot a gun.

Pastel Imps are my new favourite thing EVER.

Great episode.

Rebecca shouldn't have posted her song before this video. The punch was ruined a bit having seen it before.

They removed the song apparently, it won't play for me. Either way, that was a great video. It was great to have 3D getting the Yahtzee treatment. As for Mayes, the way I see it, I think Mayes is okay. Despite her trivial pop bullshit, her more experiment songs like Heavy Rain and in a certain case Mass Effect 2 are enjoyable to listen to, (even if Mass Effect 2 is a bit too fluffy). And compared to shit like Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga, she at least has some form of talent. But her other songs are too samey.

However, I don't think it was a good idea to include her song in the video. Most of the people that watch Yahtzee (Including myself) absolutely hate all things pop and adding in a pop song doesn't really help. But it succeeded what it set out to do: Make Mayes more popular which in turn gives her more views, which in turn, gives her more money.

You were all part of the experiment.

*disgruntled sigh*

alright, so about those of you verbally hating on Yahtzee's new crush/ future murderer

some of you are idiots, and some of you are assholes. those of you who are one or the other, i've no problem with. but those of you who have the IQ of a grape and are mad at everyone else for making you that way, let me make something abundantly clear-

"thanks for shoehorning in the blah blah blah"

"rebecca is as annoying as i am whilst drunk and snorting too much coke"

"i am a whiney emo bitch who is sad you got someone to want to suck your small penis"

look, if you don't like the song at the end of the E3 review, you have two functioning limbs and a mouse. turn if off if it bothers you that much. sing a frank zappa song, those will get any song out of your head. but if you watched it to the very end to see "WHAT JOKE YAHTZEE MIGHTA PUT AT THE ASS END OF THE VIDEO!?" its your own damn fault for watching. i mean, fuck, there's a bar at the bottom of the video to skip to the end even. if you don't like it, don't watch it, and move the fuck on. hearing much more of people who hate something, but are too stupid, or possibly a quadriplegic, to look away, will make me want to steal Rebecca Mayes' icepick, and hunt each one of you down.

you know. to make you nice crushed-ice cocktails. the secret ingredients are cyanide and anthrax.

for the percentage of you who do like her:
i have a theory why he put it at the end of his video- i'm sure everyone is confused about her song, as mr. croshaw is. what do you say about it? hes chosen to say nothing, but does put it in so that she knows he isn't ignoring it and actually has seen it.

....disgruntled sigh?

OT: I agree with Yahtzee, motion controls are a gimmick (I really hope), but I think the 3DS could be promising, due to it's power as a hand-held console.

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