Zero Punctuation: E3 2010

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This is becoming tiresome. Microsoft, Sony, do you wish to know why you are having difficulty in the market with sale figures? It is because the majority of the games you have released a complete garbage. No, it is not the motion idiocy you have attempted to impose upon us gamers. Honestly, with only a handful of games being released that have a fragment of appeal, you wonder the competency of gaming company when this are baffled we would rather play "old relics" for the unteeth time then be forced to endure their trash.

Here is a thought, why not attempt to develop video games like you use to . You know, the ones we all still prefer playing. I have no interest in patting some imaginary cat, I have two perfectly real ones I could saunter over and pat to my leisure. In addition, no I do feel the desire to flail about as though a bee flew into my trousers whilst I had a seizure. I want to play games with a regular controller and enjoy them. If this means replaying Final Fantasy X for the zillionth time, hooray...

Honestly i think this whole motion control thing is getting out of hand. I totally feel like Yathzee does. Why fix it if it aint broken?!

So many brilliant one-liners to mine out of this one for months...especially agree on the Kinect...when motion controllers...or the lack of any...can appeal to serious gamers, perhaps we shall take them seriously. Until then, it's nothing but a trend on life support for the noncommittal nobheads who can't sit down and learn some fucking controller layouts.

gazz567:
Also suprised he didn't rip into Deus Ex 3 considering it appears to be a fave of his and its now being resurrected by Square Enix and being a cynical bastard I expect it to be ruined.

Square Enix is only doing the cinematics and publishing...Eidos is in charge of actual game development. Seems like the best of both worlds to me.

Hatchet90:
No offense, but that song at the end really sucks.

Legend of J:
They added that crap on the end

Roganzar:
Oh well, i like Rebecca's song at the end, at least.

ForgottenPr0digy:
I only get a half of episode so you show that fucking shitty music video.

What song at the end?
There isn't a song at the end.

Yahtzee gets 11/10 on this one. Everything he says is completely true.

Oh Yahtzee, I love you. This was immensely satisfying. Your bitter sarcasm towards motion controls is exactly the same way I reacted. Give it a year or two and we'll be back to forgetting they ever existed! I see 3D sticking around becoming more prevalent though. Once the technology becomes cheaper I'm sure every game and it's mom will be 3D. Soon Peggle Extreme will REALLY be EXTREEEEEEEEEME flying in your face!

Why didn't he cover any of the games you say? Because most of the games at this year's E3 were pretty negligible. Most people seem to be shitting themselves over Nintendo's lineup, but I'm with Yahtzee: all they can EVER do is rehash old franchises. How about something actually NEW for once? They are only surviving by appealing to the nostalgia of aging gamers. What happens when the new generation of kiddies comes along who don't have any fond memories of Kid Icarus?
What else were the big titles? Oh, I know, all series reboots (mortal kombat) or sequels (Dead Space 2).
Yeah some of them look pretty cool but I'm finding it hard to become excited about the same old thing with nicer graphics.

FallenMessiah88:
Honestly i think this whole motion control thing is getting out of hand. I totally feel like Yathzee does. Why fix it if it aint broken?!

Totally agreed.

I mean come on?!

We really really really don't need anything more to the controllers! Playstation1 controller was high enough in tech when it came. Actually NES controller was good enough. (Anything more is useless, untill they develope some mind control or whatnot.) Games > Controllers. One can not make games better with more complicated controllers.

beema:
Oh Yahtzee, I love you. This was immensely satisfying. Your bitter sarcasm towards motion controls is exactly the same way I reacted. Give it a year or two and we'll be back to forgetting they ever existed! I see 3D sticking around becoming more prevalent though. Once the technology becomes cheaper I'm sure every game and it's mom will be 3D. Soon Peggle Extreme will REALLY be EXTREEEEEEEEEME flying in your face!

Yes. And brains connected to the game like in the freaking Matrix. Every time you fail level in Peggle Extreme you will bleed from your nose and eyes. xDDD

I would like to offer a moment of silence for the garbage-bagged, road-splat that was Yahtzee's inner child.

pretty sure yatzee hates everything, just not without reason - sometimes, lol!

This sux! Why are Sony and Microsoft catering to the faggy casuals? Srsly, there is something seriously wrong when they could be finishing Halo 4 and Gears of War 3 and Halo 4. It's like these game companies don't know what they are doing.

I guess it's good for a bunch of fogies that Nintendo is getting back into the swing of things, but they should just ditch all the kiddie crap and make new, hardcore franchises.

Skoldpadda:

SAMAS:

Skoldpadda:
Yahtzee really said it better than I ever could. Motion controls need to fuck off and die. I can't even be excited for the new Zelda, and I'm a huge Zelda fan. I just won't play it with anything other then a conventional input device. I am not going to stand up and flail my arms around like a twat. I laughed at the wasp-comment.

Please let this retarded gimmicky bullshit die in a fire as soon as possible.

Still never played a Wii, huh? You can play Twilight Princess sitting on your ass and moving only your wrists.

I can also play TP sitting on my ass and using normal controls like I've done for fucking ages (on the GC).

I have played a Wii. I hated it. I kept smacking the nunchuck wire in my face and knocking the beer off the table.

Motion controls are retarded. End of fucking story.

You hit yourself in the face with the nunchuck wire? Dude, you suck. No, seriously, you have to be terrible to hit yourself in the head with a wire you don't need to bring up to your chest.

solidstatemind:
I'm going to try to clear this up for you people who seem to be unable to grasp the concept:
the issue isn't one of criticism. Criticism is fine. The issue is that many, many people here are insulting rather than criticizing, and then trying to claim that their 'opinion' is somehow legitimate.

Look, somebody a few pages back said he HATES Rebecca Mayes. He thinks she isn't that creative, saying that her lyrics are weak, and her choruses are both redundant and grating as examples of why he doesn't like her music.

I'm fine with that. I don't agree, but that's just me.

andsoitgoes said above: "Egads... that song was terrible. No offense, is it okay? No way."

Now, to me, that's more of an opinion than a criticism, since it doesn't actually mention any specifics-- but still, this is an open forum, and people are entitled to their opinion, so I'm cool with it.

But the tone of those comments are unfortunately the exceptions, not the rule. I have seen far more people say stuff like "oh my God; that woman is a talentless bitch" or
calling her "an opinionated whore".

In Logic, it's called argumentum ad hominem, but I prefer to call it being an immature asshole. There is no justification for it; it simply is a person being insulting and degrading to another person because they enjoy the anonymity of the Internet and can be as rude and unpleasant as they wish without any repercussions. The only way to redress their actions is to confront them, which is what some of us are doing.

So NO, it's not about everybody being shiny, happy people and saying only nice things about everything. It's about maintaining a level of civility and reason in the subjects we discuss. Why is this important? Because if everyone is not held to this standard, every single dispute will devolve into name-calling, which gets tedious very rapidly. Every. Single. One.

So yeah, if you have a problem with me taking people to task about being immature and insulting, you'd better just put me on ignore right now, because I'm not going to stop.

rmm"and now its your turn to rip me to shreds" it wouldve been rude not to oblige, woudnt it?
and noone seems to have mentioned shes ginger, credit where credit is due : D
i have in truth done a lot for her, ive had to show everyone i know how bad the song is, and these are people with no vested interest in defending yahtzee unlike me, regardless, ive uped her viewer rating by like at least 10 or so. probably others who dislike it had done the same.
and lol its not there anymore

You really need to learn to end on a strong joke, and while I laughed at a few points, the ending was not one of them.

No mention of Portal 2 despite it being the sequel to the game he couldn't find anything wrong about?

truth conveyed by voice that is heard, you spoke what we (some did subconsciously) thought ever since. Other important thing is players choice how to controll the game, stuff GTA was brilliant at when it had 3 slots for every action. But games are stupid enoug not to use automatic toggle/hold recognition and instead put switches in menu. Just relized: How the fuck is motion recognised escape menu?

SAMAS:

Skoldpadda:

SAMAS:

Skoldpadda:
Yahtzee really said it better than I ever could. Motion controls need to fuck off and die. I can't even be excited for the new Zelda, and I'm a huge Zelda fan. I just won't play it with anything other then a conventional input device. I am not going to stand up and flail my arms around like a twat. I laughed at the wasp-comment.

Please let this retarded gimmicky bullshit die in a fire as soon as possible.

Still never played a Wii, huh? You can play Twilight Princess sitting on your ass and moving only your wrists.

I can also play TP sitting on my ass and using normal controls like I've done for fucking ages (on the GC).

I have played a Wii. I hated it. I kept smacking the nunchuck wire in my face and knocking the beer off the table.

Motion controls are retarded. End of fucking story.

You hit yourself in the face with the nunchuck wire? Dude, you suck. No, seriously, you have to be terrible to hit yourself in the head with a wire you don't need to bring up to your chest.

No.
You will find that is you
who sucks.
It's you.

you

You know, it's funny how you're complaining about the console companies saying how gamers aren't interested about the controllers, they want the games, yet when you play an actual game you tear it to shreds and call it a piece of crap. What do you want? Not every game is going to be as intuitive and amazing as Portal you moron. You can go ahead and keep replaying that until Portal 2 if you want, I'm going to be trying out all the new games as they come out, whether or not there has been a third person adventure game in the past.

well i see a mention of Fable 3, but what about the new Xbox? Dead Rising 2? Portal 2 coming to PS3 with better features? I wish he'd mentioned Dead Rising 2, but it seems like Dead Rising is kind of out of his mind (with only a brief cameo in an earlier episode using it as evidence to state that the 360 had the strongest lineup at launch)

YAHTZEE ACKNOWLEDGED THE EXISTENCE OF METRO 2033. Perhaps he will eventually review it.

rebus_forever:

solidstatemind:

SUPAR SNIP

rmm"and now its your turn to rip me to shreds" it wouldve been rude not to oblige, woudnt it?
and noone seems to have mentioned shes ginger, credit where credit is due : D
i have in truth done a lot for her, ive had to show everyone i know how bad the song is, and these are people with no vested interest in defending yahtzee unlike me, regardless, ive uped her viewer rating by like at least 10 or so. probably others who dislike it had done the same.
and lol its not there anymore

Actually, that's a fair point to make. Yahtzee does tend to make his criticisms with a sharp, bloody, even evicerating edge.

But that's the thing: it's still a criticism and not just an insult. He says "such-and-such is [ insulting comment ], because [ reason ]." Maybe it's not so formulaic, but the fact is that he almost always provides a reason for his venom.

These people I am referring to do not. The insulters usually (rather pathetically) just lazily threw out a couple of gender-based insults for whatever reason, and seldom if ever explain what bothered them about the song. Even when they did offer reasons, I would say that their insults were completely unnecessary, and most likely weakened their argument in the eyes of any person who had two neurons to rub together. After all, they are not Yahtzee, so they haven't publicly established that it's a part of their persona to treat everyone equally abysmally.

And yeah, I noticed that they pulled the song. Thinking from a PR point of view, it's probably because both it has served its purpose, as well as the fact that there is a cap on how useful controversy can be, particularly in this medium.

PoisonUnagi:

Hatchet90:
No offense, but that song at the end really sucks.

Legend of J:
They added that crap on the end

Roganzar:
Oh well, i like Rebecca's song at the end, at least.

ForgottenPr0digy:
I only get a half of episode so you show that fucking shitty music video.

What song at the end?
There isn't a song at the end.

they removed it :)

The breakdown videos are always the best ◔◡◔

SAMAS:

Shamanic Rhythm:
"You found the breasts suit!" made my day. Kind of a metaphor for everything that has gone wrong with the games industry lately.

Bad jokes?

Exploitation.

Huh... I don't know how he got around even mentioning XCOM since he already said he doesn't like strategy games...

Nice review, its good to get a different (more negative) perspective on E3 once in a while.

That song at the end though ... No. Just no.

Like how he commented on the PS 3 move remote. it looks like a (swear words come and unite for truth and justice) dildo. Well it does.

E 3 wasen't all that impressive overall. Nintendo has recycle hash again. Xbox biggest thing was Kientic and a couple of games including Halo 5 but msotly kientic and sony had the best E3 which was more conserated on games but still had a motion thing which ws still sad.

I however like Raiden's charater consept but not looking foward to Metal gear whatever it is. Hideko did not conscerate his effort into that game and let some other people fool around with it.

Lets just face it. They might as well make Motion seasor,interactive porn for the gaming systems already cause thats whats probally going to happen

Bourne Endeavor:
This is becoming tiresome. Microsoft, Sony, do you wish to know why you are having difficulty in the market with sale figures? It is because the majority of the games you have released a complete garbage. No, it is not the motion idiocy you have attempted to impose upon us gamers. Honestly, with only a handful of games being released that have a fragment of appeal, you wonder the competency of gaming company when this are baffled we would rather play "old relics" for the unteeth time then be forced to endure their trash.

Here is a thought, why not attempt to develop video games like you use to . You know, the ones we all still prefer playing. I have no interest in patting some imaginary cat, I have two perfectly real ones I could saunter over and pat to my leisure. In addition, no I do feel the desire to flail about as though a bee flew into my trousers whilst I had a seizure. I want to play games with a regular controller and enjoy them. If this means replaying Final Fantasy X for the zillionth time, hooray...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So States the person who has probally played at least three differnt verisons of Zelda, Metroid, Mario Party, Pokemon,Donkey Kong, Super Smashbrothers, Wii sports, Mario kart, Mario for the zillionth time and probally has payed a lot to just play the 8 or 16 bit games on the Wii. The only real actual remake that was semi noticable was Punchout. Yatzee stated it perfect when Nintendo has been known for rehashing their titles for the longest time and sell it to their rabid fans. Why can't Mario just kill Bowawer already and just bang the Princess right after.

solidstatemind:
But that's the thing: it's still a criticism and not just an insult. He says "such-and-such is [ insulting comment ], because [ reason ]." Maybe it's not so formulaic, but the fact is that he almost always provides a reason for his venom.

These people I am referring to do not. The insulters usually (rather pathetically) just lazily threw out a couple of gender-based insults for whatever reason, and seldom if ever explain what bothered them about the song. Even when they did offer reasons, I would say that their insults were completely unnecessary, and most likely weakened their argument in the eyes of any person who had two neurons to rub together. After all, they are not Yahtzee, so they haven't publicly established that it's a part of their persona to treat everyone equally abysmally.

Agreed, that kind of behaviour is obnoxious. There's absolutely nothing wrong with female vocalists in general, and nothing wrong with RMM's singing voice in particular. But there are also many posters who have made valid points about RMM's song here - for one thing, it wasn't really that original or funny. It sounded to me like just another cookie-cutter pop love (hate?) ballad, a musical form which I make absolutely no pretense about disliking. The rhymes were contrived and the lyrics were generally loose, banal and unimaginative. For the life of me, I can't understand why anyone would consider it 'epic'.

... but as there is no accounting for taste, I do respect the rights of people to say so.

Mirroga:
Wow. I never knew so many people had such difficulty in ignoring unwanted stuff. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Better yet, don't comment about it. It's kind of close to those people who love the PS3 games but cannot play Mass Effect, and so they comment on Mass Effect Youtube vids about how much it sucks.

If only it could be ignored. But because of it, the things we love get replaced. Face it, this E3 was all in the lieu of Motion control and not at all about the games. Sure, there were a few really good gems out there, like Deus Ex and stuff, but mostly it was motioncontrol.

Also, because the focus shift now moves to marketing for games 'anyone can enjoy' instead of 'gamers will enjoy this' the really good releases will be further apart and more rare.

This isn't something that can be ignored.

SendMeNoodz84:
You know, it's funny how you're complaining about the console companies saying how gamers aren't interested about the controllers, they want the games, yet when you play an actual game you tear it to shreds and call it a piece of crap. What do you want? Not every game is going to be as intuitive and amazing as Portal you moron. You can go ahead and keep replaying that until Portal 2 if you want, I'm going to be trying out all the new games as they come out, whether or not there has been a third person adventure game in the past.

Yahtzee is a game critic (or likes to think of himself as one) and only points out the negative aspects of the game (most of the time)

I agreed with everything Yahtzee said, especially about Raiden!
annoying little bitch

Ah gaming puberty at its best.

Can only hope that motion controls are just a fase, and not one that will eventually be a requirement to play any game. Would suck dearly.

Zudarkness:

Bourne Endeavor:
This is becoming tiresome. Microsoft, Sony, do you wish to know why you are having difficulty in the market with sale figures? It is because the majority of the games you have released a complete garbage. No, it is not the motion idiocy you have attempted to impose upon us gamers. Honestly, with only a handful of games being released that have a fragment of appeal, you wonder the competency of gaming company when this are baffled we would rather play "old relics" for the unteeth time then be forced to endure their trash.

Here is a thought, why not attempt to develop video games like you use to . You know, the ones we all still prefer playing. I have no interest in patting some imaginary cat, I have two perfectly real ones I could saunter over and pat to my leisure. In addition, no I do feel the desire to flail about as though a bee flew into my trousers whilst I had a seizure. I want to play games with a regular controller and enjoy them. If this means replaying Final Fantasy X for the zillionth time, hooray...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So States the person who has probally played at least three differnt verisons of Zelda, Metroid, Mario Party, Pokemon,Donkey Kong, Super Smashbrothers, Wii sports, Mario kart, Mario for the zillionth time and probally has payed a lot to just play the 8 or 16 bit games on the Wii. The only real actual remake that was semi noticable was Punchout. Yatzee stated it perfect when Nintendo has been known for rehashing their titles for the longest time and sell it to their rabid fans. Why can't Mario just kill Bowawer already and just bang the Princess right after.

Such is why I fancy posted derived of baseless assumption, attempting to pass itself as a jab. In actuality I do not current, nor have I ever, owned a Nintendo Wii. Furthermore the last Zelda, Mario and etc game I played was beyond a decade ago on the N64. I have yet to play Metroid at even given interval and the likelihood I do is minimal at best. If you hardly believe the vast majority of games released in recent years on any console were decent, you have my sympathy. For every good game released, ten more follow as shelf ware.

Beyond that I do not see the necessity for your post other than being a console fanboy peeved I seemingly defended Nintendo verse its competitors.

I actually liked many of the games in E3, still not a big fan of motion controls. Though Kirby Yarn does look fun, strangely enough. I'm not too sure what to think about the 3D element in TVs. They might not last past the development phase. I've actually got to demo that particular TV, and for the price I don't think it would be worth it to me. I might get a 3DS though, if anything to upgrade from my DSLite. That and I understand that the games on it will be certainly worthwhile. All things considered it was a good E3, motion controls aside.

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