Zero Punctuation: E3 2010

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Though.. the 3DS is volumetric 3D, not stereoscopic, /slightly/ different technology, and maybe less of a gimick.

BlueInkAlchemist:

DeathWyrmNexus:
So basically if we don't like it, you expect a long drawn out exposition as to why. Fair enough.

-long drawn out exposition snipped-

Snipped you who hath snipped me. Dun dun dunn...

Babbling out my thoughts is just another free service I provide. In all honesty, I think the issue is that we aren't fans of Rebecca and feel tricked into watching her video anyway. I saw the update that said she had a new video out. I consciously made the effort to avoid it.

Then...

I had to watch it anyway because I figured that being it was on Yahtzee's show, he might actually have a rebuttal. Call the "Oh look, I'll endure this to see if there is a point" effect. It was assumption but not entirely baseless. Imagine my "joy" when I found out that there wasn't a point and I just wasted time watching something I really didn't like.

It is what we call a dick move and I actually had to resist the urge to use words like whore, talentless, and wtf, simply because I felt tricked and anger is a natural response. Taking me to task just breeds more contempt as I never asked to watch the video in the first place and take pains to avoid her. Having her shoved in my face only earns my scorn.

Are the views for Rebecca Meyers Muses so low that she thinks the only way to increase them is to attach herself to Yahtzee like some kind of horrible parasite?

ragestreet:
Are the views for Rebecca Meyers Muses so low that she thinks the only way to increase them is to attach herself to Yahtzee like some kind of horrible parasite?

Thank you, I've forgotten to bring that up twice now. It does feel like a ploy, like how the tabloids make up stories about movie stars having feuds.

Basically the "Hmmm, I need more attention so I'll pick a fight with somebody" maneuver. This also earns my antipathy.

You're right Yahtzee, you are just fucking bitter that you didn't get to go. I'm really getting sick of this whole "Nintendo just rehashes old franchises" bit. I'm all for more original games and franchises but I'm not going to abandon interest in a game just because it's "another bloody Zelda". Then again, considering Yahtzee is deluded enough to think Zelda is the same game remade twenty times, I'm not surprised he said that. And when did Nintendo last make another bloody Donkey Kong Country since Rare left? No Jungle Beat doesn't count.

I'm also sick of the whole bitching about motion controllers being inferior to standard controllers bullshit. It was cute back in '08 when Nintendo blew us off to cater to their new casual crowd (even though it only made them look retarded in the end) but it's old news now and we have to fucking move on. I've heard so many people use these flawed arguments now that not only is it not funny anymore, it's pretty much devolved into Godwin's law that's it's so out of control.

ragestreet:
Are the views for Rebecca Meyers Muses so low that she thinks the only way to increase them is to attach herself to Yahtzee like some kind of horrible parasite?

I don't think this was her choice. I think her video was tacked on to Yahtzee's to drive more traffic to her original video or generate interest in her music. In that, it was a success.

Even if all its done is raise the ire of quite a few people within the Escapist's community, more people are talking about her. There's no such thing as bad publicity, as they say.

So, in a way, everybody who's insulting and hating on Rebecca Mayes right now are actually supporting this plan of theirs to increase that interest in her music.

image

Nice work, Escapists!

When he started talking about sequels, I paid attention to what was coming out, since I pay about as much attention to E3 as I do my laundry. Anyway, I think I liked the E3 take down last year. I thought it was funny enough and ripped through everything like a chainsaw does to Leon Kennedy's head.

Naaaaaw, I was hoping for a super extended E3 episode, I was hoping for the credits to roll and be interuppted by a confused yahtzee saying: wait, this isnt over...and continue bashing E3!! i didnt want Rebecca Mayes to Muse!!! roar

i wonder why he didnt mention Portal 2

that game gave me chills..

the woo-hoos

the ya-yas

the whatchamacallits...

i should stay off the crack

b) if you think it's so bad, let's see you do better.

No. No no no no no. This has been, and remains, and awful argument.

First off, if I can't do better, that's why I'm not doing it. I can't draw to save my life; that's why I don't go and draw comics (outside of some stick figure ones for my own amusement). I don't know anything about law; that's why I'm not a lawyer. I only know the basics of medicine, if that; that's why I'm not a doctor. But I expect people who do something, especially if they're getting paid for it, to be GOOD at what they do. I expect published authors to be writing decent stories. Now I know the majority of literature is pretty bad, but that's my point: If they're not good writers, they shouldn't be writing, they should be doing something they're good at, or improving their writing before being published. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with calling them out for doing a bad job.

If your argument is honestly "let's see you do better" then you cannot complain about anything, ever. Your computer crashes? Let's see you make a better one. Your car doesn't work well? Let's see you make a better one. You think a politician is incompetent? Let's see you get elected and do a better job. Your cable reception is bad? Let's see you make a better reception. You don't like a video game console? Let's see you make a better one. It's a horrible argument that's nonsensical. I'm not saying the song is bad (I thought it was okay), but "let's see you do better" is an argument that annoys me.

So what exactly is Rebecca's problem with Yahtzee?

...what the hell is wrong with you people? Stop hating on the integration of motion and 3d. These are necessary stepping stones on the path to the holodeck.

And we DO want the holodeck, yes?

Go ahead and rat on how bad the Wii is. Go ahead and trash on how PSMove is probably going to suck. Continue to soliloquize on how 3D doesn't really work as well as they say it does. BUT DON'T say that these are things that don't need to be investigated and put to the test. They NEED to get through these crappy first-gen versions of these things so they can move on to what WILL work...and what will bring us closer to a Matrix-style plug-in experience. Just because these hypothetical industry developments MIGHT suck doesn't mean they shouldn't try them.

And Yahtzee, I expected more from you. Do you want the developers to reduce the milliseconds from human reaction to character control, or do you want immersion? You can't really be more immersed into, say, a chunbara game than if you're actually, accurately swinging the fucking thing. If you're going to go on about controller methodology, then you should probably address the issue of PC vs. Console, seeing as everyone who games on PC says its the bestest, and everyone who games on Console says its the mostest intuitive.

And then, we find you didn't even GO? You're one of the most famous video game critics in the world, what the hell could keep you from even going? You can't just watch press conference reports and get an accurate feel for the models in practice...shame on you! Bad form. Until you actually get these controls in your hands and try them out yourself, I'm afraid I can't accept your opinions on them.

Go ahead, losers, send the flame...but deep down, you know what I say is true.

P.S.
Fuck that Rebecca Mayes song.

I'm a little disappointed he didn't go after the games that much. Yes we all know the Move is a ripoff of the Wii thank you very much.

Why spend so long on it when they haven't changed much since last E3?

Okay, it works now.

Am I the only one who thinks that Yahtzee is just... trying too hard?

He just seems to be pushing hatred for everything in for the sheer sake of it now, rather than using it when necessary or backing it up like he did in earlier reviews. It was informative and funny. But now it's almost like a self parody.

He's flanderised himself.

METRO 2033 next week?
NICE

How do I downloaded song?

I wonder if Nintendo was trying to bait its competition. using motion controls until Sony and Microsoft decided to try it and then let them sink while Nintendo goes back to tradition style games.

It would both be a surprise and not be for various reasons I cannot easily describe.

If it wasn't for the shoddy Yahtzee themed video along with the song I wouldn't have had a clue what that woman was bleating on about. Witty as a bloodhound? Propping up the man? WHAT.
If you want to suck his cock just say so, Jesus, lady.
Jokes much better here than recently.

The funny thing is you have to pay for Sony and Microsoft's motion controllers. Why the hell would I pay money for a shittier controller? Good thing my family doesn't give gifts that aren't money because I guarantee I'd have to turn a set of Move controllers on the holiday after their release.

EDIT - Whats all this blubbering about Rebecca Muse in here for? Yes its horrible, I would've thought you'd realize changing subjects to Yahtzee wouldn't change that. Was it attached at the end of the video for you people or something?

Nice little touch to the overall review:
Imps wearing collared shirts. I thought that alone was hilarious in its illustration of how out of touch gaming is with the people who market it.

Probably should use those images again whenever you end up reviewing one of those bland motion control games. Drives the point home for me.

ItsAPaul:

EDIT - Whats all this blubbering about Rebecca Muse in here for? Yes its horrible, I would've thought you'd realize changing subjects to Yahtzee wouldn't change that. Was it attached at the end of the video for you people or something?

I didn't see that song either (at the end of the video, anyway). Was wondering what everyone was going on about haha.

He didn't say anything about Deus Ex 3. Maybe he'll elaborate in Extra Punctuation.

Great video. Yahtzee is right about everything.

ActionDan:
I think that 3D games could be very immersive. Imagine if you are in the middle of a battle and bullets and grenades and all types of projectiles are flying past your ears, and really see the depth of a game. I think 3D gaming could be one of the most immersive ideas ever.

You have to be joking. They have yet to invent the 3D that has things zipping past your ears. Things that go off screen still go off screen, meaning you can't see them. And I doubt that such a jump in technology will exist in a handheld gaming device first. What you're describing is that sort of Star Trek holographic thing that Yahtzee said to wake him when is real.

3D IS a gimmick, and even worse most things that make use of it do it poorly, shoehorning in images of things being pointed at the screen that practically yells "LOOK AT THIS HO HO HOOO!"

Surprised you didn't mention Portal 2, though it'll probably be addressed in the Extra Punctuation next week. Oh well. Funny video as always.

Thick:

You have to be joking. They have yet to invent the 3D that has things zipping past your ears. Things that go off screen still go off screen, meaning you can't see them. And I doubt that such a jump in technology will exist in a handheld gaming device first. What you're describing is that sort of Star Trek holographic thing that Yahtzee said to wake him when is real.

3D IS a gimmick, and even worse most things that make use of it do it poorly, shoehorning in images of things being pointed at the screen that practically yells "LOOK AT THIS HO HO HOOO!"

A gimmick which has been being used since the mid nineties and will improve to the point you are talking about eventually? Why is this a gimmick and not the early stages of evolution? Ignoring all that, you are talking about FILMS. This is for games which presumably could aid in things like judging distances.
Why are you all so violently against trying new things? Are you worried you might actually like something?

Well, I cant believe yahtzee didnt reach into the back of the heads with some sort of machine ,which he traded for his enjoyment of anything ever, and came out with a review of E3 that was on the mind of everyone who actually cared enough to watch it unfold. Couldnt agree more with this review...

Thanks for pointing out why 3D is so heavily used and promoted Yahtzee, I feel like an idiot for not having figured it out myself.

And you're right about the motion controls too, making the reaction time to an input longer instead of shorter and making the user constantly flail about, never be comfortable and looking like an idiot is not the way to go, and just like the 3D fad, it will die when everybody realises it's a fad and move onto something else.

I have to agree with him, this whole motion controller fad is just getting annoying. Is this really the way to go? I'm gonna say no. Quite an enfatic no. It's a complete waste of money in terms of research/development and in terms of people spending their hard earned cash on it when it finally does come out. Just let nintendo have that little *ahem* "gem" and stick with what gamers want not what pastle shirt (ha!) families want. Losing my faith in gaming a little at the moment!

BlueInkAlchemist:
[essentially -]

Right. Because innovation is something that should never be explored. We should just stick with what we know works and never take a chance on anything, ever. It's a scary thought, taking a risk. Forget the very notion of discovering anything new or interesting and putting it where people can experience it, for good or for ill.

If I want to 'explore new things', there are links, adverts, and all kinds of goodness already advertising them. As I pay for my bandwidth, however, I appreciate being given a choice, and not misled. I do plenty of 'experimentation' of my own now and then, thankyouverymuch, and certainly don't need some silly editor deciding that he (or she) can direct my tastes for me.

I like the idea that relentlessly bland sub-indie dross, punctuated with generic rhymes and musical structures constitutes 'new and experimental', though.

Don't get me wrong, I suppose I appreciate your interest in the energy and vigor that comes with playful creativity. I just think it's misguided to assume it's either pleasant or honest to 'hide' unadvertised bonus content in a world where many of us still use dialup (don't judge me).

aid the man posting in the thread of 250+ posts, 90% of which read "Yay Yahtzee! Your videos are so good and funny! This was the best one yet!"... and this happens every flipping week. I think we're past the point where we can believe in any sort of logical system of quality control on the net.

Hey, at least we can try.

I can't get the video to load :S All I get is this:
image

I too had technical issues with the vid. Namely closing it.

I'm using Chrome in Debian, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was an issue with software on *my* end.

Ah I look forward to the annual E3 bash every year. I liked the song at the end too.

Whats this about a song now? The video was 5 minutes long, and the only song tacked onto the end was the usual end credits music.

[DELETED]

MisterM2402:
I didn't see that song either (at the end of the video, anyway). Was wondering what everyone was going on about haha.

That's because it's been removed from the end of the clip, possibly so that people weren't put under false impressions that the video was going to be an eight-minute epic concerning every minute game that was announced at E3, but probably because the Escapist got fed up with all of the damn Rebecca Mayes haters on this very thread.

Still, controversy feeds publicity, which ironically is what Yahtzee said in another review.

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