Escape to the Movies: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

This week MovieBob reviews The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and explains why it really is a scary film.

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You said it bro

Why did they have you review this? I mean, who among the Escapist's audience was possibly considering going to see this?

SirCannonFodder:
Why did they have you review this? I mean, who among the Escapist's audience was possibly considering going to see this?

I'm guessing this is another week of two movies, with this and Airbender. Based on the reviews for that one so far: poor, poor Moviebob.

this film has ruined my birthday
im usually excited to see the words 30th june, but not on thaty poster

Wow, I actually really enjoyed this one, well done.

Movie Bob I truly respect someone who has the balls to force themselves to sit through this pure bloody trite.

Well done MovieBob. Fun as always. That said, maybe Ms. Mayes should write YOU a love song ;)

very good and insightful commentary on the series with out any kneejerk hate reaction. still steadfastly refusing to watch ANY of this although i have said that if someone demads I watch it and agrees to buy enogh beer to drown out the pain I will put myself through it out of some morbid curiosity. I just refuse to give this crap money

Poor Bob, the escapist forced you to watch another Twilight movie...

haha, we get a bonus Escape to the Movies? nice.

I like how it feels like Bob is being forced to watch this dispite his better judgement. Wait, he is, BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

SirCannonFodder:
Why did they have you review this? I mean, who among the Escapist's audience was possibly considering going to see this?

I don't think anyone on the escapist is looking to this as a review... In fact, I've rarely considered Escape to the Movies as a 'review' thing.

It's more of a 'commentary' production that anything else... And in this case, I think there was good commentary given. He gave a decently legitimate stance on the whole thing and even managed to get the whole, 'I don't want to dislike this, but I do' message out of his system, at least that's what I interpreted from about the last minute or so of the video.

Either way, I enjoyed the video and found myself quite engrossed and focused on the whole thing.

Oh, thank you. I saw that bit at the end and somehow had a mini-nightmare that we still had TWO Twilight movies to go. You scared me...

And I eagerly look forward to the inevitable skewering Mike, Kevin, and Bill shall give this load of excrement in six months or so...

The Cheezy One:
this film has ruined my birthday
im usually excited to see the words 30th june, but not on thaty poster

Happy birthday!

How bloody quickly are they churning these films out though? Perhaps they might be able to put something vaguely approaching quality in it if they were taking at least a year to film and distribute the bloody thing.

This was a great surprise!! Thank you moviebob for saying what i have been saying for the last 2 years.

I nearly fell out of my seat laughing at the Frisbee. Well done, Ms. Meyer, for emasculating the entire horror monster genre. You know what? Screw this; I'm going to go out and buy The Wolfman, because that's the only decent monster movie I've seen in a while. And, the only monster movie that portrays the monster correctly.

Is this a special episode, or did Escape to the Movies moved to Wednesday?

Anyway from what Bob has described this movie sounds just as dull as the last two.

Thank you, Bob. Thank you.

I despise the Twilight movies because of the fact that they glorify broken relationships. How can the throng of rabid fans not see that? I really want to know what is so appealing of being controlled. I just don't understand.

Anyways, I completely agree with you.

Don't believe me? Well read this... http://mindlessdribbling.blogspot.com/2010/06/eclipse.html

I wrote it at 3am, so sorry for any misspelling or bad grammar.

So, again, thank you, and hopefully someday we will all be free of the pox Stephanie Meyers has wrought on this world.

And you know what's the most terrifying thing about this? I just checked out Metacritic. The Twilight "Saga": Eclipse has an average rating of

58.

Fifty-fucking-eight.

What little hope I had left in the majority of movie critics is now lost forever.

Well said there MovieBob. I am scared of Twilight too. I live with a fan (my sister) but at least she is more thoughtful. I don't see her becoming a future domestically abused woman. I see her abusing of her husband though D: she has a temper...

I don't suppose you can refuse the escapist to watch the last one or two movies can you? Because I can respect that you do your job, but torture is another thing. If not, then good luck.

On a side note, does this mean no Friday episode?

Trifixion:
And I eagerly look forward to the inevitable skewering Mike, Kevin, and Bill shall give this load of excrement in six months or so...

It might be the only reason to buy the DVD X3 RiffTrax rules.

Here's to hoping that some attractive girl isn't going to drag me to the cinema to see this monstrosity.
Damn sparkling vampires...

Wow, Twilight has done the impossible for being a scary "horror" (it isn't by any means, but is technically listed as such) movie, not for the monsters (though it is scary how they made A GIANT BATTLE BETWEEN WEREWOLFS AND VAMPIRES A HUG FEST), not for trying to break us menatly with its imagery, but for the message is trying to hammer into our brains.

I don't believe that video games cause violence. I don't believe that gay people can't be good parents, teachers, or anything else. But Twilight? It is one of those things that has the power to change the thinking of its target audiance, the 14 year olds that are just hitting puberty, but still have childhood memories of Prince Charming. It is only going down hill from here folks... you know what is are two things that are going to happen in the next movie?

Can somebody honestly tell me that they want their child to read this? Or watch this?

Hey, a wednesday review, didn't see that one coming.
And this is one of those times that I'm glad for my taste in women, occasional odd woman aside. No girl I would ever like could like Twilight.

It's nice to hear that there are other sensible, measured haters of Twilight out there that don't just hate it because it's lame quasi-romance. Lame quasi-romance works well, sometimes - at least for its target audience. It's the sinister undertones that make me despise Twilight.

I've never seen any of the movies, but I have read the books (I had to see it for myself). Edward's abusive behaviour was obvious from a mile away, but what scares me almost as much is the support out there for Jacob. From memory, it was in Eclipse that he forced a kiss from Bella and I have to tell you, I felt like I was reading a rape scene. Not okay.

Does anyone in this movie get munched by a wolf or is like power rangers with the sparks(At least Power Rangers was meant to be camp)

Well said about Twilight at the end. Poor David Slade he must have been drunk when he sighed up to this dribble.

"So why does this SUCK? Because this is Twilight."
29th? Dam my sucky internet connection.

Twilight is scary, cause its scaring the hell outa me.

Epic quote.

I hate Twilight for what it's doing to vampires....

Domestic abuse victims? Just think what will happen when they have kids.

Bob, I'm going to have to ask you to qualify your statement that Bryce Dallas Howard is too good for Twilight. What good movies has she done? Spider-Man 3? Lady in the Water? Terminator Salvation?!

Please, she's pretty and all, but I have yet to see her be spectacular in anything. Just humdrum, which fits Twilight perfectly.

Brilliant review as always from MovieBob, and now to throw my two cents back into the Twilight hatred jar.

I think in all seriousness it is a fair contender for the worst book series of all time, and should be remembered as such by all future generations. It is a badly written, badly plotted, badly overhyped piece of evil. It tries to ensure the message that girls should be submissive or else they aren't worth anything, and that domestic abuse is fine, and everything else MB picked up on.

But even more than that, it just isn't a very good idea for a story overall anyway. You should have a romantic story as the subplot to a movie. Even romantic comedies have an overarching narrative, to which the romance is bound, rather than the romance driving the action. Whenever the romance drives the action, it had better be the best damn romance ever written, or else it won't work. Even Romeo and Juliet had the backstory of the families at war to drive it, instead of the actual romance. The romance is driven in that story by the warring families, making any comparisons between Twilight and the Romeo and Juliet story not only false on the matter of the fact that ROMEO AND JULIET ENDED IN THE TRAGIC SUICIDE OF ITS PROTAGONISTS, a standpoint I wish the Twilight series had made after the first chapter, and the fact that the stories are not even reomtoely similar in any way.

And now for the postscript I add to every Twilight related post I make:

If you think Twilight is a good series you are provably wrong.

Bob....Thank you

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