Stolen Pixels #210: The Business Plan

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Stolen Pixels #210: The Business Plan

Why would anybody ever invest in Resident Evil's Umbrella Corporation?

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Wester would just BADASS them into buying it.

The characters are in the wrong places in frames 1 and 4.

Ankhwatcher:
The characters are in the wrong places in frames 1 and 4.

Or maybe they are in the wrong places in frames 2 and 5?
Ever think about that? :)

It would probably be better for them to drop all pretence of storyline and make it just a fun zombie-shooter game whose basic concept is nothing more than, as you said,

Shamus Young:
The Umbrella Corporation makes zombies and you kill them.

That last one slayed me, superb.

Wow, people commented before Shamus even posted. Now that's some speed.

What would you do with the Resident Evil story if Capcom asked you to handle the reboot?

I'd make some better characters, for one. Like an intelligent zombie with cool powers, or a villain that you come to respect or empathize with.

Awesome!

Isn't money only useful if there are actual people around to buy things off? Seems to me that the whole zombie apocalypse thing might adversely affect the economy.

poiumty:
Wow, people commented before Shamus even posted. Now that's some speed.

What would you do with the Resident Evil story if Capcom asked you to handle the reboot?

I'd make some better characters, for one. Like an intelligent zombie with cool powers, or a villain that you come to respect or empathize with.

What about Nemesis from RE3? He was smarter than the average zombie, and in Resident Evil, a rocket launcher counts as a super power.

Shamus Young:
Stolen Pixels #210: The Business Plan

Why would anybody ever invest in Resident Evil's Umbrella Corporation?

Read Full Article

a little late there Shamus

What would you do with the Resident Evil story if Capcom asked you to handle the reboot?

Oh, that's easy NANOMACHINES!, first part of the game you fight zombies ruined by haywire nanobots, and then BAM! nanos turned zombies into robots! And all the world goes to hell! Giant Robots, cyborgs, G-men, Power-armor wearing commandos, city-sized robot-zombie mosters and all the awesome in the world!

Has Capcom ever made a game with a good story? Even more, has Capcom ever made a series of games that didn't have their stories devolve into a ridiculous, nonsensical mess?

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Capcom games, but playing a Capcom game for the story is kind of like playing a Square Enix game for the awesomely fun combat. It completely misses the point.

lmao @ Wesker.

And, I do agree...really it should have clicked earlier...afterall, as mentioned...its Zombies! IT had to be Umbrella!

ZephrC:
Has Capcom ever made a game with a good story? Even more, has Capcom ever made a series of games that didn't have their stories devolve into a ridiculous, nonsensical mess?

Oh, good ol' Dead Rising.

I just love how we skipped from "US Government experimenting with growth hormones" to "Bees that turn people into zombies." You could have explained that one just a little better.

Honestly, I think the big failure of RE is that they set up Umbrella as some Bio-engineering megacorp who work with living and undead weapons, and then just tried to keep them as some kind of legitimate corporation in the followups.

The fact is, the difference between Umbrella and Dai Shocker is that Chris Redfield isn't a Kamen Rider. Just admit it, it's an evil organization working to rule the world with bio-engineered super-soldiers. Just throw off the facade and go total zombie warfare.

You could add zombies that puke over you, or ones with really long tongues that grab you and drag you to your doom or... <fill the rest in yourselves>

In a reeboot I'd probably just drop Umbrella Corporation altogether and say it was the Devil doing it . Admit it, you know you'd like to shotgun Satan in the face :P
Or hey, it could be the Norse gods and Ragnarok. You could have a level set on the Naglfar...

Another pixel depicting the truth. The plot is just insane and doesn't makes sense anymore to me.

RE5 sucked in every way.

I just watched the whole first game's cutscenes on youtube, I want to see more, and crappier, crappy writing. Geuiney LMAO'd.

I would rewrite a "to save the earth" route. It seems to me that the zombies only really eat people, although there are zombie dogs and some birds, those seem to be infected purposely and they seem to want to only eat humans. So there you go a crazy tree-hugger creates or steals the virus to build an army of people eating zombies that he uses to clear out people and let the land reclaim itself. The zombies of course are in a state of decay so there life span is short like maybe 10 years or something and of course this works for the crazy tree-hugger as he is looking for the destruction of all people. It is kind of a reversal of the slash and burn stuff used on the rain forest, this guy could also become a monster because he wishes to remove all humanity from him self. This is where I would start. Also on a fun note it might be interesting to build a story where people sympathize with the monster at some point. Make sure he makes some sense. Like I said this where I would start.

I certainly would be interested in a zombie virus. :3

***SPOILER ALERT***

It's not about the money. It's about one rich man's godhood complex. Which in turn, becomes Wesker's godmode complex. It's about making humanity evolve, with the one responsible for that evolution becoming a "god" glorified forever in the history books.

***SPOILER ALERT OVER***

This virus thing is really getting old. Now, what I would do is have the story take place in the future where there is this super powerful, government dominating corporation that performs uber-secret, forbidden research in teleportation technology. They accidentally open a gateway into another dimension and from there all kinds of evil spirits start pouring out, possessing humans and turning them into mindless zombies. All of this takes place in a far away place, perhaps a distant planet or research lab, so there's no help coming anytime soon and you're like this guard in that place, on of the few people to be immune and it's all up to you to save your doomed colleagues.

Then again, maybe it's time to drop the zombie apocalypse thing and start something new.

poiumty:
Wow, people commented before Shamus even posted. Now that's some speed.

What would you do with the Resident Evil story if Capcom asked you to handle the reboot?

I'd make some better characters, for one. Like an intelligent zombie with cool powers, or a villain that you come to respect or empathize with.

We don't empathize with Wesker, but we do respect him. He is just that badass.

If Apple weaponized the iPhone and iPod Touch, causing them to spray T-Virus into the users face than I would buy multiple.

hahaha XD yes finally some1 asks "WHY THE FUCK IS UMBRELLA OBSESSED WITH MAKING ZOMBIES?!" XD

What I find fascinating is that Resident Evil already HAD a reboot. RE4 was pretty much a reboot and it was great. Then like a chronic alchoholic falling off the wagon, they went off the good path with RE5, which was a fun game, but the plot was messed up. Also, Wesker was a crappy villain, especially for those of us who got into the whole series late (RE4 for me). His entire persona felt like I'm supposed to know a ton of stuff about him, and there I was seeing the guy for the first time. Lacked context to the extreme.

As for RE6 rebooting the whole thing, it doesn't need a reboot. It was already rebooted with RE4 and they can simply continue in that direction. If they utterly wipe the slate clean, they might as well not call it Resident Evil to begin with.

If I recall correctly, in the first game, Umbrella wanted to create super soldiers, and zombies were a very unfortunate side effect of that. That's not brilliant writing, but it works in an almost comical way. Of course, you can't really make a series out of that. Once Raccoon City is nuked, you've pretty much contained it. Everything else is just increasingly absurd levels of stupidity.

My biggest disappointment, plot wise, with Resident Evil 5 was Wesker. He was set up to be this manipulative badass pulling all the strings, and in typical Capcom style he is now a megalomaniac trying to destroy the world, I'm sorry, evolve humanity.

MorpHie:

Ankhwatcher:
The characters are in the wrong places in frames 1 and 4.

Or maybe they are in the wrong places in frames 2 and 5?
Ever think about that? :)

Dude, my mind was just like pow! Welcome to The Escapist. Read the rules and remember that the basement isn't as bad as people say.

Nice strip. I laughed heartedly.

This one was hilarious! I love how Wesker just goes "Oh", like he's just had his mind blown.

Dasis:
I would rewrite a "to save the earth" route. It seems to me that the zombies only really eat people, although there are zombie dogs and some birds, those seem to be infected purposely and they seem to want to only eat humans. So there you go a crazy tree-hugger creates or steals the virus to build an army of people eating zombies that he uses to clear out people and let the land reclaim itself.

Or he could outright make zombie trees...Ok, that wouldn't make any sense in the plot, but they would make awesome video game enemies!

Shamus Young:
The Umbrella Corporation makes zombies and you kill them.

In the reboot, they should be an experience travel agency or something like that. You know, "For just $5999 you can shoot zombies all day! And for $100 more we'll throw in a minigun!"

Well, the whole concept of "Evil Corporation Has Retarded Plan To Make Money From Monsters" Came from Alien, so it really is not that far off.

Tiroe:
This one was hilarious! I love how Wesker just goes "Oh", like he's just had his mind blown.

Dasis:
I would rewrite a "to save the earth" route. It seems to me that the zombies only really eat people, although there are zombie dogs and some birds, those seem to be infected purposely and they seem to want to only eat humans. So there you go a crazy tree-hugger creates or steals the virus to build an army of people eating zombies that he uses to clear out people and let the land reclaim itself.

Or he could outright make zombie trees...Ok, that wouldn't make any sense in the plot, but they would make awesome video game enemies!

The idea has warrant, we just need to spin it a little, The whole point of the crazy tree hugger plan is to give the land back to the earth, well dead things often times have plants growing on them so what if there were older zombies called rotters or something, grass and other plants are growing from them so if the lay on the ground they seem apart of the land, Then when a human comes by the rise up to get him. Imagine that instead of a mouth they have pulsating group of roots and what they do is take there hands and rip open the skin of another human, then bury there face/roots into the person slowly trying to take root, they also release a poison that slows the target down or causes paralysis. With that you have a plant zombie, but you are not limited to just grass, you could also use trees, It would be funny and scary at the same time.

poiumty:
Wow, people commented before Shamus even posted. Now that's some speed.

What would you do with the Resident Evil story if Capcom asked you to handle the reboot?

I'd make some better characters, for one. Like an intelligent zombie with cool powers, or a villain that you come to respect or empathize with.

It sounds like they need a Bub..

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