Stolen Pixels #211: This is Not Funny

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Shamus Young:
Stolen Pixels #211: This is Not Funny

You can all blame Gabe Newell and Gordon Freeman for this one.

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Wow, first Blizzard screws you over on your article, then Valve screws you over on your comic.

It appears that everyone has it in for you.

lol no facial hair id want that! i have very little hair so its the annoying kinda facial hair, not enough to make a beard/mustache but just enough to make them look unsightly >.< T.T

Pretty clutch comic strip this time around XD

Very posh 'stache. Now all you need is a top hat, monocle and cane! It's worked for other Escapist members:
image image

See?

Soylent Bacon:

Klingonmage:
I was experiencing similar trouble, the soultion, as it turns out is to scarfice a goat in the name of Newell, that should get things running. Oh, also, you cannot eat sushi on a friday anymore.

The Great Gabe does not accept goat sacrifices. In this case, it is better to sacrifice clientregistry.blob to him. It's actually a blob of tasty lard and hamburger meat. The author of this comic should put it between buns and send it to Newell through the Recycle Bin.

I laughed harder at this post than the comic. Nice one!

It's true though! I had trouble with supcom 2 at launch - I went through about 3 goats and screaming to the skies cursing Newell's name until I went to steam forums and learned about the rare blob.

Then I played Supcom 2 and it turned out to be shit :\

Steam would be perfect if it would let you play games in Offline Mode.

Sigh, I envy you Shamus, classmates started screaming that I should shave since I was 10.

well there's always MS Paint...

lol it's okay, I can't grow facial hair either (well, I can...it's just like watching a glacier move). it just means our manliness was redirected to other bodily functions (rawrr)

Klingonmage:
I was experiencing similar trouble, the soultion, as it turns out is to scarfice a goat in the name of Newell, that should get things running. Oh, also, you cannot eat sushi on a friday anymore.

I am not sacrificing anymore goats in the name of Newell,
I can only spare so many goats! And I love sushi Fridays!

This comic reinforces my belief that Shamus is actually an elf. And a very good one at that.

I quickly got rid of my Steam because it wouldn't allow me to play America's Army 3 without throwing a hissyfit and shutting off. Telling me the process has to be killed because apparently somewhat was going on. Screw this, just give me dedicated servers.

I think a full beard would suit you even, better. Give that some thought.

Eric the Orange:
If I was the escapist I'd feel a bit sheepish for paying you to play games. But then again I guess you could sum up Yahtzee's job like that to.

The only thing I read regularly on The Escapist is Stolen Pixels. That's why they pay him.

I am Gabe Newell,and I thought this was not funny,who do I blame now?

Kris015:
Let's blame it on Bobby Kotick!

I'm with you brudda!

Ell Jay:
Don't worry, facial hair is only a necessity if you're a hockey player in the playoffs.

Hahaha... I always love watching post-game interviews in the playoffs. They always seem to interview the same 3 guys and 1 always looks out of place:

Gritty Veteran with epic beard
Team Captain with forest for a beard
Hotshot Rookie with hairless face

Souplex:
I find it humorous that almost every comic relating to valve is unfunny, like they sap the joy out of everything they touch.
Except Gabe Newell fat jokes. Those will never get old.
image

*don't make fat gamer joke, don't make fat gamer joke, don't make fat gamer joke*

Well it could be worse Shamus, I can grow facial hair but it looks horrible, so I don't get a cool mustache and still have to shave.

Yo Shamus, when Steam gets it's shit together, will you make the comic you were going to make?

I'd really like to see it..

Redingold:
I find this absurd. I've just played Gmod in Offline Mode without experiencing any problems at all.

And because it worked for you just now, it's inconceivable that anyone else could have had a problem.

Such as when Steam is downloading an update for Gmod, and it won't allow you to play a non-patched game offline, but the servers are too busy to let you download the patch...

i usually just restart steam when that happens

That's a great 'stach Shamus, looking forward to seeing the epic conclusion about it.

Okay, in all seriousness, Steam can be rather... irritating, mostly when it decides to stop working for no apparent reason.

This is the largest problem I have with Steam, when it decides not to work it slaps your hand and tells you "Feck off!".

I mean, they don't even apologize for it. Humph!

Formica Archonis:
Very posh 'stache. Now all you need is a top hat, monocle and cane! It's worked for other Escapist members:
image image

See?

My, my! Who's that handsome user?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I favor Impulse whenever I'm buying digitally downloaded games. Did you know Impulse actually lets you play offline? It also lets you play the same copy of a game in two computers in LAN with one another.

...

Buy Impulse!

Steam usually lets you play things offline. But I think its roots as a server-matching program for multiplayer games show (and badly) in some areas; one of those is when it packs a total sad if a game is in the middle of an update.

There really should be no technical reason why it doesn't let you play a game while it's updating (assuming that you had a fully-working version beforehand), nor why it doesn't let you play it offline if it has started downloading an update for it. But sadly that's just how it works right now.

And its error messages usually suck pretty hard. (I had one the other day that was waffling on about failed updates due to permissions, when really the problem was that it had been started with the wrong working folder.)

This is why I only buy a game on Steam when it is, rounded to the nearest significant digit, free. Getting locked out of my game occasionally is much less likely to make my head explode with rage if the game was essentially free.

Thank/Curse You, Steam Holiday Sales!

Shame on you Shamus. As someone who has made Gmod comics before and used the very same excuse you have here I'm incredibly disappointed.

No facial hair, eh?
Ennhh, you aren't missing much.

I never have had to wait more than 20 minutes for servers.

But I blame you for the funiness of the comic. which was funny.

Don't blame Valve, blame Garry Newman.

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