Escape to the Movies: Salt

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 NEXT
 

Dude angelina is not hot. She is a succubus. She is an evil creature that sucks the life of young men. Seen brad pitt lately? Exactly. Tightened your standards bob Jolie is a very evil shallow bizzare creature.

Oh. Salt looks generic.

I just saw the trailer of Salt while watching Inception (which is, by the way, pretty awesome) and next to getting very strong Bourne vibes I also got a very strong Enemy of The State feeling, just without a clueless, scared protagonist. Anyone else got that? I thought it was pretty obvious.

Swifteye:
Oh. Salt looks generic.

And that really. But also entertaining, not every flick needs a plot was complicated as Inception or the character development as deep as Battlestar Galactica. It's Angelina Jolie kicking ass, and apparently in a few creative ways to boot. Must be fun, right?

I was interested right up until you said Angelina Jolie. Then I was perhaps at best mildly curious until you said 'action like the Bourne movies.'

I don't think there are two phrases which could turn me away from a movie faster other than 'Emma Watson' and 'stars in'.

I hate the Bourne films, I think they're boring, the action is annoying and manages to be both overdone but with no drama, and Angelina Jolie just doesn't really do it for me anymore. Granted the last time she did anything for me was probably just post-Tomb Raider when I was 12 and thus biologically compelled to like her, but nowadays I just don't like her that much. I think she's got a fair acting talent, but I don't think she utilises it enough.

Thanks for the review though, it does help with my choice of what to see and what not to see, and was as always funny yet actually based around what happens during the movie, instead of getting tangental about cognitive powers or hardware gimmicks.

On the internet people's standards for attractiveness goes through the roof.

Equilibrium had an interesting concept, but it just felt wasted on the Gun Kata and the comic-like instant emotional transformations.

zelda2fanboy:

maxben:

I disagree on both points, she is attractive and can act.
But seriously now, that kind of judgment is subjective to the extreme so there really is little point in debating the finer points of Angeline Jolie.

Eh, just looking for someone else who agreed with my unattraction towards the "most attractive woman in the world." Maybe it's just because everyone else agrees that she's hot that she doesn't do anything for me personally. Like Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Aniston, who also bore me a little bit. I'd much rather watch stuff with any of the girls from Scrubs.

To tell the truth, Anderson and Aniston look horrible (to me).
I'm not one to just find an actress attractive because she is overly hyped.
But there is something about Jolie that I've always liked, both as a woman and an actress.
That is the point, though, such a thing is subjective.
And reading this thread, seems like many people here agree with you.

The movie could have been entertaining for me if not for five things:

1) I just watched Inception prior to watching this, a way better movie.

2) I had recently read this news article (and a few related ones) - Suspected Russian spies charged in US: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10442223 Thanks to that, my mind couldn't stop screaming "Bullshit! This is Propaganda!" during the movie. Damn it brain, stop thinking during a movie ... I also blame Inception for this as well.

3) Apparently the President is of some "white" descendant again, Bush never left the US's highest office or something in this movie. Its bad enough the bad guys are Russian commies hating their freedom again or something, they couldn't even be bothered to get a black nameless actor in place of the white nameless actor.

4) Apparently the President also has poorly trained Close Quarter Combat Secret Service bodyguards with shit for brains. Or something, sometimes they seem to give Salt and the other guy a bit of trouble but inevitably, training received as a child far out weighs any recent practice the bodyguards had. Usually my suspension of disbelieve is pretty far ranging, I have a fairly active imagination, why does this stretch credulity? Should I blame 24 for that? Probably not because my next point is...

5) Why the hell does it seem like every news agency in a movie is Fox News? I can't stand their lies IRL (so glad their bullshit about games revealed how much other stuff they bullshit about, which turns out is just about everything), yet I am supposed to accept them as a credible news source in a movie?

All that combined, I hated Salt and wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I threw up a double one finger salute to the screen as I left, frack this bullshit.

It seems okay.
I mean, They're extremely original in making Russia the bad guy. Because NOBODY has ever done that before.

On a second note, I don't think Angelina Jolie is attractive. Not to say she is ugly, but its sort of... "eh" when I see her.

CanadianWolverine:
The movie could have been entertaining for me if not for five things:

1) I just watched Inception prior to watching this, a way better movie.

2) I had recently read this news article (and a few related ones) - Suspected Russian spies charged in US: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10442223 Thanks to that, my mind couldn't stop screaming "Bullshit! This is Propaganda!" during the movie. Damn it brain, stop thinking during a movie ... I also blame Inception for this as well.

3) Apparently the President is of some "white" descendant again, Bush never left the US's highest office or something in this movie. Its bad enough the bad guys are Russian commies hating their freedom again or something, they couldn't even be bothered to get a black nameless actor in place of the white nameless actor.

4) Apparently the President also has poorly trained Close Quarter Combat Secret Service bodyguards with shit for brains. Or something, sometimes they seem to give Salt and the other guy a bit of trouble but inevitably, training received as a child far out weighs any recent practice the bodyguards had. Usually my suspension of disbelieve is pretty far ranging, I have a fairly active imagination, why does this stretch credulity? Should I blame 24 for that? Probably not because my next point is...

5) Why the hell does it seem like every news agency in a movie is Fox News? I can't stand their lies IRL (so glad their bullshit about games revealed how much other stuff they bullshit about, which turns out is just about everything), yet I am supposed to accept them as a credible news source in a movie?

All that combined, I hated Salt and wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I threw up a double one finger salute to the screen as I left, frack this bullshit.

My feelings were similar to yours, but you were much, much harsher against it than I was.

I also saw Inception the same day. Maybe I'd have enjoyed it more if my brain were inactive and I could swallow the premise?

Blue-State:
To the Kremlin: We'll stop making hot spy movies about Russia when Russia stops making hot spies.

-snip-

News flash, people: Anna Chapman was a crap spy. Not only did she get caught, she failed to produce any decent product when she did it. One wonders exactly why the KGB, once one of the most feared intelligence agencies in the world, decided to hire a glamorous-but-narcissistic woman who appears to have about as many credentials to be working in the world of espionage as I do to be a concert pianist.

theres a trivia, dunno if anyone klicked but the "russian spy" in the trailer is played by Daniel Olbrychski and that guy is a legent in polish cynematography... i mean more like marlon brando than cloney... or like both but the dude rocks.

russia must take pride or something in how usa always make em the bad guys... only explaination i see to why russians havent pressed the "nuke"-button already :D

Necrofudge:
It seems okay.
I mean, They're extremely original in making Russia the bad guy. Because NOBODY has ever done that before.

On a second note, I don't think Angelina Jolie is attractive. Not to say she is ugly, but its sort of... "eh" when I see her.

couldnt agree more... never understood the fuss about her. shes good looking, but i dont exactly need to look hard to find someone more attractive.

Sorry Bob but after seeing Tomb Raider(both of them), Mr and Ms Smith and The bullet time movie(I forgot the title) Im not signing on for another AJ action flick they have just sucked in my opinion.

This is by the same director who did Rabbit Proof Fence??
Well crap. I was all set to just write this movie off and be done with it, but then you had to hit me with that. Now I'm torn.

DannibalG36:

solidstatemind:

Souplex:
Actually if anyone looked at the papers recently there was some stuff aboot America nabbing some Russian spies. They couldn't have known this during production, but there is still some modernness to it.
Also...

Consistency man!

First you target Megan Fox for being an untalented plasticish looking sex symbol (I agree, but that's not the point here) and yet you do a complete 180 on your stance for that sort of thing with Angelina Jolie? Maybe it's just because she's your generations U.P.L.S.S., but all I'm asking for is that you try to be a little consistent.

Emphasis added: whether or not you think Jolie can act, people who professionally judge that sort of thing think she can-- she did win an Oscar after all.

I think Bob has been relatively consistent: Johannson: hot and can act. Bob likes. Jolie: Hot and can act. Bob likes. Fox: Hot but is more wooden than a ventriloquist's dummy: Bob dislikes.

Consistency over only three actresses? ONLY? That's not consistency.

Huh? Excuse me? I'm going to have to assume that you're being humorous. I provided three examples that quickly sprung to mind because they were recently referred to (Jolie, in Salt review, Johannson in Iron Man 2 review, Fox in Jennifer's Body and Transformers 2 review). I in no way assumed or implied that those were the only examples available to support my statement.

But I suppose if you weren't being facetious, and wanted to be intentionally obtuse, you can assume that I was providing the entire range rather than just samples. You know, if making your point is more important than being reasonable.

RAKtheUndead:

Blue-State:
To the Kremlin: We'll stop making hot spy movies about Russia when Russia stops making hot spies.

-snip-

News flash, people: Anna Chapman was a crap spy. Not only did she get caught, she failed to produce any decent product when she did it. One wonders exactly why the KGB, once one of the most feared intelligence agencies in the world, decided to hire a glamorous-but-narcissistic woman who appears to have about as many credentials to be working in the world of espionage as I do to be a concert pianist.

Misdirection.
Of the 11 spies in this case, Chapman and a couple of the others were the crappy ones you're supposed to find. The rest, like the sleepers that had been in the US for 15-16 years were the real deal.
Betcha there's some really good ones that's still out there.

I think Challenging was the only movie off the top of my head that didn't have any notice attempts at sexual provocativeness... except the scene when she was hosed down but that scene is supposed to be distressing.

I can't be the only guy who no longer finds Angelina Jolie attractive. She is just too weird and is completely uninteresting to me now. Maybe it's just the crappy TV trailers, but this movie looks like the Bourne series with a girl. Having never been interested in the Bourne series either, this one held nothing for me. How many damn times can we hear "I'M INNOCENT! THEY SET ME UP!" Russia being the antagonist is also a failure for me. Try something new people.

Thanks for the excellent review again Movie Bob! Went to see the film last night and it was great. Not many movies that can pull off a semi plausible twist and still have me wondering who's who halfway in. The tagline of "Who is Salt?" was always so benign for me until I actually watched the film.

I found it to be a short film with very long action scenes as padding. Honesty, there are like 5 events in the whole movie.

ProfessorLayton:

ToonLink:
MovieBob has never steered me wrong before. Gonna check this one out.

Hmm... did you see Splice? Did you see Edge of Darkness? Did you not see the Book of Eli?

Well, I was expecting this to be a piece of crap, so let's hope you're right about this one.

Splice: not yet.

Edge of Darkness: yes, and I regret it.

Book of Eli: never.

Angelina Jolie: no big deal.

Seriously, "the" hot action-movie actress?

looks around at walls devoid of posters

Hmm.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, Eliza Dusku and Alyson Hannigan, Buffy, Faith and Willow. Neve Campbell, Suzie Toller in Wild Things. Dina Meyer, Isabelle Flores in Starship Troopers. Carey Lowell, Pam Bouvier in Licence to Kill. Natasha Henstridge, Sil in Species. Winona Ryder, Call in Alien Resurrection. Alright maybe not Winona Ryder. Still, there are several. Edit: yes, including Black Widow ... and Storm ... and Mystique ...

Edit continues: Equilibrium was just a lot of 1984, Fahrenheit 451 and The Matrix with a dash of Schindler's List, but as long as you were sprawled against the wall with three mates, a case of beers and a big bag of crisps it was fun. I'm pretty sure Kick Ass was deliberately topping it with Hit Girl's corridor rush.

Edit goes on and on: that thing about lips applies to A. Jolie, D. Richards and N. Campbell and even in the stylised leopard-print it's not a turn-on, at least not for me.

Next-day edit: added F451 to the things in Equi.

Cowabungaa:
I just saw the trailer of Salt while watching Inception (which is, by the way, pretty awesome) and next to getting very strong Bourne vibes I also got a very strong Enemy of The State feeling, just without a clueless, scared protagonist. Anyone else got that? I thought it was pretty obvious.

Swifteye:
Oh. Salt looks generic.

And that really. But also entertaining, not every flick needs a plot was complicated as Inception or the character development as deep as Battlestar Galactica. It's Angelina Jolie kicking ass, and apparently in a few creative ways to boot. Must be fun, right?

I consider it generic because it looks boring. I can't vouch for the interesting things I know someone got moderated hit for this type of comment but seriously there was way to much obessing over angelina jolie being in that role for me to gather anything of value. Oh and the main character is creepy as hell(seriously just take a look at her poster and then look at every other picture she's ever taken, They all have that same peircing stare!).

Most of MovieBob's reviews are fairly entertaining, even if I often disagree with his opinions on what makes a good movie. A review like this, however, is one of those cases where I just wanna stop watching altogether. Mind you, it's not bad, just boring, and with more than half the video devoted to "OMG ANGELINA JOLIE IS HOT LOL". Sure, a lot of people find her sexy, but does that really warrant the entire review revolving around her? Honestly, I feel only slightly more enlightened on this movie than I was before watching, and before I watched I had never, ever heard of the movie before. The prologue is nice, but ultimately pointless; Seems like it was just leading up to "LOL ENGELINA IS SO HAWT LUL". If you can't find anything more interesting to say about the movie, such as secondary characters or any sort of thought-provoking themes within the film, what's the point in reviewing it? Basically what I took away from Bob's review is: "If you think Angelina Jolie is hot go see this movie 'cuz she's hot and I don't have anything to say about the actual movie." So bravo, if that was your intent.

I don't mean to be rude, although I probably come off as such. I just have the problem with MovieBob that half of his reviews are greatly entertaining, while the other half relies on invoking indie-cred ("Anyone else remember [80's Cult Movie Here] lol?"), drooling over characters or talking about completely unrelated things. It'd be nice if he could decide on whether to be a humorous critic of movies or a plain, straight-faced reviewer. Both have their merits, but when you are unsure what to except it often just becomes a pointless "Look what I, Bob, think of movie X". Of course, all critics base their reviews on personal preference, but if you manage to link the feel of one movie with another, or give some objective pros and cons about the movie, it might actually be worth watching. Mind you, Bob has managed to do good reviews, but I still feel that he slips into "omglol" territory a bit too often.

I hope this made sense. I generally enjoy MovieBob's reviews, otherwise I wouldn't have watched them all, but I feel there's a lot of wasted potential. Also, the "lol bob is confuzed cuz she so hot" gag only works once. Barely.

I'm sorry, but I don't see how any straight guy can see the pictures moviebob used of Angelina Jolie and not be attracted or at least understand why many men would be.
I know I know, Angelina is weird, bony, big lips, blah blah blah, its annoying how everybody is compelled to repeat this.
I don't really know off hand but I would say that Angelina Jolie is at least 10 years older than the other actresses mentioned as the one who really is hot (scarlett johansen most often), so being past the hotness prime she obviously would no longer be quite so appealing (plus wierd lifestyle choices don't help). Anyways, her "hotness" is probably a lot more appealing to 30+ crowd
As much as I enjoyed Scarlett Johansen kicking butt in Ironman 2, I don't really buy into somebody like her as truly being capable of kicking butt in such a way. She is too girly, (I like girly just don't buy girly doing that much violent action). Same goes with Sarah Michelle Gellar. The chick from the matrix is edgy, hard, and believable for action, but hotness is obvious arguable either way. Same way with Angelina Jolie. She was once the hottest star with very few arguing otherwise, but now must find edgy roles or more mature roles that fit her current looks.

Well, SALT sure is an interesting movie. I'm not sure yet if I'll stop to watch it. When I already want to watch Inception and Priest. Though I have a friend who absolutely loves Angelina Jolie, so I am sure to get filled in on it sooner or later ^~^!

MovieBob:
Salt

This week MovieBob takes a taste of Salt.

Watch Video

I'm confused that you first condemn Megan Fox as being thrown in for just her looks (which you didn't find all that impressive in the first place) but that you now agree that Angelina Jolie is good for this role, mainly because she looks this good. And when it comes to looks, I don't think Jolie differs all that much from Fox.

This entire review gained a solid A+ for me simply because of "What if the spy is a chick" and the divine intervention happens.

Really laughed out loud. I love these shows!

Angelina Jolie. Not really that attractive if you like real people.

As an action figure, maybe, but not as anything real.

I -do- think Angelina Jolie is hot but I -don't- feel a pressing need to go see another action movie. I've never had much interest in the Bourne movies and this looks like more of the same so meh. This is the sort of thing I'll rent from the video store if whoever I'm watching a movie with seems interested in it.

Wow.. you're hilarious aren't you..
No! I didn't come here to troll >.<

It looks like a good film, but not a brilliant one. Might wait for the DvD, as there are other, better films to see for now.

So what rating would you give it to somebody who DOESN'T like Jolie. As in, not a single bit? I hear she adopts children and sucks their blood in a midnight ritual to stay young and scary-looking.

I think it was on Wikipedia.

when she was younger she did bear a resemblance to her father (see the movie Cyborg 2)

oh, and I'd take Milla Jovovich over Angelina any day

A couple of things:

#1: I am susprised with this movie more people are not doing comparisons to the movie "No Way Out" with Kevin Costner.

#2: I am getting tired of people acting like people are picking on Russia, when Russia have been the bad guys again for like ten years now. The reformed Russia is over with, and has been for a while. Consider that these are the guys who poisoned a pro American/Western leader during an election in Ukraine so a cantidate more favorable to them could be installed. Then of course we had the whole invasion of Georgia, and then they threatened to nuke Poland for hosting a US missle interception base, oh and then they cut off the gas with the EU to prove that they could while the majority of the western world's military powers are busy in The Middle East, and then of course we just broke a Russian Spy ring active here in the US... where more people seem to be spending time talking about how hot the girl in the group was rather than the bottom line of the fact that Russia was caught spying on us while all the rest of this stuff was going on....

Okay, granted, a lot of stuff comes down to perspective. I mean I'm sure to the Russians they are the good guys, nobody wakes up and says "man I feel like being really evil today". Reality is based more on "us against them" and various competing needs, rather than any great conflict between forces of good and evil. However from an American perspective Russia are the bad guys, and we are going at it again. Some people seem to be stuck in this rut where they think it's still the early 1990s and the USSR has collapsed and Russia is trying to become more Westernized/Democratic/Capitolist, that whole movement pretty much failed, and people who criticize movies for portraying the Russians as the bad guys again seem to be living in another world.

I point this out not so much just because of Salt, but because we went through this with the last "Indiana Jones" movie where the bad guys were Russians. Stuff was happening then too and if anything it's gotten worse so it's odd to see these criticisms.

I also don't think that it's the USA wanting a rematch or something, trust me, we have enough problems with China, North Korea, and The Middle East without having wanted a Russian resurgence as well.

Really I expected more from Movie Bob than to jump on this train of criticism. It's simply not fair towards the movie. The storyline might be a bit over the top in the actual objective (kill the president, start World War III) but the bottom line is that we are going at it with Russia again. The basic premise is accurate to current events even if noone is getting that over the top and trying to actually set off a war yet.

Onyx Oblivion:
Russia...Poor, poor Russia.

Always a villain, even when they're not.

True, but this movie was so...double agent in that and everything still worked. I was very surprised that I liked this movie, because the previews did not really show it being much more then a female action flick. I watched it last night with my girlfriend and felt my 8.50 admission was well worth it. :D

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here