Escapist News Network: Kinect the Dots

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does the jamtroller come in different flavours? maybe raspberry? actually how about honey?

I also don't think the Canadian dental association will prove because it has too much sugar unlike the other controllers.

haha nice limbo joke i lold

This has got to be one of your best episodes yet. Well done! All interesting and relevant news items and all well grilled.

So, when will The Escapist be releasing the peanut butter attachment for the jamtroller?

Another brillent episode!

Aleate:
I think I have that porn pic somewhere on my hard drive actually...

Uh what joke are you referring to?

And this is why I didn't vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, not really, but it is one of the reasons why I frequently face palm at his actions.

I have seen the future, and it tastes of raspberries! (or strawberries... or plums... or any other fruit that goes well with jam)

"Unless you count your other hand, which most men say is less effective."
Quote of the day, right here.

And don't forget, the Jamtroller also disables Mr. Radar brand radar systems.

On a different note, I thought Graham was going to note that the Predator movie, starring Schwarzenegger, was A-OK, but the AvP game, not featuring Schwarzenegger, would be restricted, then talk about a conspiracy theory. Although, I suppose the Headshot is a bit more serious than other features on ENN.

I totally expected our anchors to be eating toast when the show returned to them.

MUST HAVE TOAST

Also, I think you underestimated the fruity potential of the PS3 Move's majickal color changing ping pong ball.

Do you have any idea how many jamtrollers I could get for the price of the Kinect?

I'm definitely interested, as long as it comes in an apricot variant.

This has to be the most... accurate episode you've ever done.

Also, you seem to be having some green screen troubles...

That One Six:
How low can you go, Graham, how low can you go?

thats wot i was gonna say :D
anyone know?

I love my jamtroller..

Oh Arnold, you crazy arschloch

hehe, i hope that worked.

Amazing episode guys! Got a little political, got a little sassy, got a little AWESOME.

The ENN Jar of Jam! The Jamtroller!

That... that is just unreasonably brilliant. Seriously, that made so much sense, and all of its selling points are hilarious and awesome (and accurate!). Especially compared to those other controllers, which have no nutritional value whatsoever!

You know Yahtzee would have something snotty to say about it, though. Probably complaining about its overall fruitiness, which really is impressively fruity.

Well... until the release of the ENN Jar of Branston Pickle, that is. Available... now, perhaps? Inquiring minds want to know!

aithilin:
Dammit, now I want raspberry jam.

Delicious jam... must spread on bread with butter! Surely ENN would never let me down. It will be the most delicious controller of all!

Wow, that IS a legitimatly scarry prospect.

BTW, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but Paul looks like the Darkness from Legend when he stands in the middle of that background.

"What is light without TOOOOAAAAAST!"

I'm sold. I'm going to go buy some jam tomorrow.

Finally! A controller that doesn't need to use consoles that connect to the internet in order to have fun!

Also, I find it worrisome that Canadians have more input about Californian legislation and the rights of US people than most people who live in California or anywhere south of them. Satirically, of course... This is ALL satire. 'wink'

awesome masturbation joke thrown in there with great delivery.

All around great episode

Garfy:

coldfrog:

Garfy:
In the UK selling Predator or any other 18-certificate movie to a kid IS a criminal offence.

Society failed to collapse, hell rockstar even request official certification for their games.

However, Free Speech isn't protected in the UK either. It's a different world.

How is not selling sex and violence to little kids WRONG?

We could do with a bit more clarity and responsability in government

I hope your kidding.

Freedom of speech is the freedom to speak without censorship or limitation, or both. The synonymous term freedom of expression is sometimes used to indicate not only freedom of verbal speech but any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used.

Parents should raise their kids, not the government.

Father Time:

Aleate:
I think I have that porn pic somewhere on my hard drive actually...

Uh what joke are you referring to?

2:23

MatParker116:

coldfrog:

Garfy:
In the UK selling Predator or any other 18-certificate movie to a kid IS a criminal offence.

Society failed to collapse, hell rockstar even request official certification for their games.

However, Free Speech isn't protected in the UK either. It's a different world.

Actually it is under the 1689 Bill of Rights

Actually, under things like the public order act (1934 and then 1986 I think) We can't say things likely to cause unrest or violence or wear political uniforms. I'll be honest, I think it works.

Also, take Speakers Corner in Hyde park, people can say what they like until they use profanity or someone complains, in which case the police intervene.

Yeah, I hear Jack Tretton is offering a $1,200 bounty for anyone who can even FIND a competing console on store shelves that even HAS motion control.

General Vengeance:

Garfy:

coldfrog:

Garfy:
In the UK selling Predator or any other 18-certificate movie to a kid IS a criminal offence.

Society failed to collapse, hell rockstar even request official certification for their games.

However, Free Speech isn't protected in the UK either. It's a different world.

How is not selling sex and violence to little kids WRONG?

We could do with a bit more clarity and responsability in government

I hope your kidding.

Freedom of speech is the freedom to speak without censorship or limitation, or both. The synonymous term freedom of expression is sometimes used to indicate not only freedom of verbal speech but any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used.

Parents should raise their kids, not the government.

If we lived in a perfect world that would be great but we don't. Kids are smarter that most parents, there have to be some hard and fast boundaries to stop them gaining access to materiel that precisely no-one would think was appropriate.

The real question is where that hard and fast line should be drawn?.
People are stupid and are always going to make bad decisions for other people.

As with everything in life it's a balance between too much and not enough and hope we get it right.

Man all this politics has tired me out, I could use some jam. mmmmmmmmm jam.

Awe somebody stole my peanut butter joke. . .

Well good thing the jamtroller is so cheap, my entire family can play four player jam multiplayer.

I think the jamtroller might leave the competition in a sticky situation.
It might just be the seeds of a new gaming revolution.
I hear that the jamtroller actually gives you the fruits of your labours.
Apparently switching to the jamtroller is quite jarring.
Whilst in development, the jamtroller designers kept a firm lid on the specs.
Other companies have said that the jamtroller marketing is spreading itself out too thinly.

I can do these all day people. Give me 5 to shut up. _

"Not yet available in Canada pending approval by the Canadian Dental Approval Association ."
That was so great. All in all: Awesome episode!

I WANT AN ENN JAMTROLLER!!! Preferably in Apple & Blackberry.

Lol'ed hard at the Limbo part.As usual you do not disapoint.

Garfy:

If we lived in a perfect world that would be great but we don't. Kids are smarter that most parents, there have to be some hard and fast boundaries to stop them gaining access to materiel that precisely no-one would think was appropriate.

The real question is where that hard and fast line should be drawn?.
People are stupid and are always going to make bad decisions for other people.

As with everything in life it's a balance between too much and not enough and hope we get it right.

Man all this politics has tired me out, I could use some jam. mmmmmmmmm jam.

Yes I can't count the amount of kids who are out in the work force, due to their advanced intellect, so their parents can stay home. It's so refreshing to see the millions of parents that no longer have to worry about paying bills, food, mortgage, and have time to goof off on the computer. All thanks to their super advanced intellectual children.

When it comes to free speech there SHOULD NEVER be a hard and fast line drawn. EVER!
I know the idea of a good ol' fashion book burning probably has some appeal to you, but I think your right about one thing, you should stick to eating jam.

GrahamS:

danpascooch:
Did Sony actually cite the "buttons" as a feature over the other two?

Don't get me wrong, I hate motion control, but the POINT of it is to have less buttons.

They did. And rumble as well.
We didn't start making stuff up until the jam came out.

Holy CRAP! Graham quoted me!

It's really pathetic that I'm more excited about this than if it had been a mainstream movie megastar.

General Vengeance:
When it comes to free speech there SHOULD NEVER be a hard and fast line drawn. EVER!

Most of your points I would take for granted, but here's a bit of a gray area: while it's a bit more fuzzy than pure "hard and fast," US 1st Amendment protections (and remember that we pretty much cribbed our Bill of Rights from the English one) are restricted in cases of inciting imminent personal danger (the classic "yelling fire in a crowded theater"), obscenity in certain public forums (advertising, broadcasts, etc.), patent falsehoods which damage a person's image or defame their character (libel), and sometimes forms of "hate" speech.

I think of these as "reasonable" restrictions, and their lines are fairly clear-cut, though I think most of the "obscenity" restrictions are too fuzzy in some cases. My personal opinion on video games is that there are some products and entertainment subjects which should only be allowed to minors with adult (and preferably parental) approval or oversight, meaning that retailers shouldn't sell them to minors. This would require some sort of punishment in order to make "enforcement" more than a joke. But it also seems to me that we need a new classification for crimes that fall between "misdemeanor" and "felony." Sorry, getting off-topic there.

My point is, there are some restrictions to free speech, even in the freest of countries (Canada?), and in general I agree with them. These are about as hard and fast as those kinds of lines can get.

General Vengeance:

Garfy:

If we lived in a perfect world that would be great but we don't. Kids are smarter that most parents, there have to be some hard and fast boundaries to stop them gaining access to materiel that precisely no-one would think was appropriate.

The real question is where that hard and fast line should be drawn?.
People are stupid and are always going to make bad decisions for other people.

As with everything in life it's a balance between too much and not enough and hope we get it right.

Man all this politics has tired me out, I could use some jam. mmmmmmmmm jam.

Yes I can't count the amount of kids who are out in the work force, due to their advanced intellect, so their parents can stay home. It's so refreshing to see the millions of parents that no longer have to worry about paying bills, food, mortgage, and have time to goof off on the computer. All thanks to their super advanced intellectual children.

When it comes to free speech there SHOULD NEVER be a hard and fast line drawn. EVER!
I know the idea of a good ol' fashion book burning probably has some appeal to you, but I think your right about one thing, you should stick to eating jam.

At what point did I say I agreed with censorship? Never, that's when.
Just a bit of responsibility about what little kids can get their hands on is what is needed. (and what this debate is all about)

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