265: Punching the Baby Seal of PC Gaming

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A lot of PC problems are simply updating your software... would be nice if they made a program to get that shit done without trawling the net and trying to remember what make all your stuff is, though.

Speccy removes some of that problem, though, by telling me what all the stuff in my PC is, just in case I forget.

But, yeah PC's are very "micro-manage", they're not easy, but they are rewarding once you've got your head around it all.

I don't put *any* work into it and my pc games don't crash. Fallout 3? Stable. Crysis? Never crashed once. L4D2 mic works.

draconian always on DRM? (Xbox 360) YES
*per-user* subscription fee to use your own internet connection? (xbox 360) YES
crashes during games? (Xbox 360) YES
replacement component 3x market rate (xbox 360) YES
18% failure rate (xbox 360) YES

Edzor:

PC gaming is not only a way of passing the time, like making calls on your Iphone or watching TV, or playing on a console...

PC gaming is a way of life, a hobby, only comparable to hobbies like modelling airplanes, collecting stuff, piloting aircraft, etc.

There is a certain difference in dedication between a PC gamer and a Console gamer, and that in itself makes all the difference in the world, and that is why PC gamers are elitists, because they put quite a bit more time and effort and knowledge into what they do, as opposed to Console gamers.

If that works for you, then that's awesome. I don't mean that sarcastically, I mean: great. It sounds like you've found exactly what you're looking for, which is excellent.

But I personally don't have the kind of time to devote to PC gaming as some kind of intensive discipline. For me, gaming *is* a way to pass the time. If PC gaming requires such a heavy measure of discipline and devotion, it will always move toward "niche market" rather than "mainstream potential."

And maybe that's okay, I dunno.

As for the people who claim to be able to build a PC in two hours -- well, good for you. Seriously: applause. You throw a pile of PC parts in front of me, and I'm likely to need a nap. I used to be technical, but I just didn't keep up with it.

In regards to "I have the time to write this article" -- well, uhhh, yeah. I'm a writer. I do this so I can pay these wacky things I have called "bills." :)

-- Chuck

A few months ago I would have laughed the article of as rubbish. But now, now, my Left 4 Dead 2 suddenly decided for no reason not to work, my Dragon AGe doesn't work very well after it got patched, Lego Rock Raiders is too 'old' to work and Borderlands keeps crashing.

On the plus side Crysis and Fallout 3 are running problem free!

ps. Hitting baby seals is good. If everyone did it we'd have world peace within a day.

Building a PC is not a big deal. I used to buy prebuilt dell, last time was 2004. Now I custom build my system. I've done it once in 2007 and once last year upgraded to a Core i7 system. It takes half a sunday afternoon if you have everything sitting in front of you.

Go buy an Antec Ninehundred 2 case with an Antec Signature Series 850 watt power supply(expensive but don't ever skimp on power- Leaing cause of crashing)
Assemble that, My specs:
MSI X58 Platinum SLI
CPU Core i7 920
aftermarket CPU cooler
6 GB triplechannel RAM
IntelX25-M SATA Solid-State Drive 80GB for boot drive
2 Western Digital drives, one if 1TB the other is 1.5TB
Video Card: EVGA Geforce GTX 275
Sound Card: Asus Xonar D2X

I didn't build THAT in a day. It was a process My first power supply said it had enough wattage, but I had random lockups. After many months of trying to narrow down the problem I replaced that cheap 750 watt power supply with a 200 dollar one, the above mentioned 850 watt Antec Signature series. My PC gaming is freaking rock solid. Make sure you are using Windows 7.

BTW nobody said this was going to be cheap.

And This only fixes hardware crashes. Some games crash because of engine bugs or scripting errors which is independent of what it is installed on.

Sikachu:

Chuck Wendig:
snip

I'm sorry, but all I read here was 'I'm incompetent at administering my computer' repeated for four pages. Maybe if you didn't buy fucking pre-built Dell computers and actually took and interest in what you are playing your games on you wouldn't have any problems, but since you're the kind of person that bought an iPhone I can see that knowing about how things work really isn't something you're interested in.

Man, I know. Sometimes I stick gum in the DVD drives. Other times I just sort of take off my pants and hump it? Then I get these great pop-up windows and they're in Chinese and Russian, and I click 'em for hours -- it's a fun game! It installs all this crazy software on my computer. Then my monitor catches fire. I use the fire extinguisher on it.

Lather, rinse, repeat!

You mean I'm doing something wrong?

-- Chuck

A lot of these PC gamers just don't get it. I'm right with Chuck on this one. As a 37 year old veteran (who has built many x86 systems in his time, starting right back with a green screen monitor), I too outgrew the desire to play with my drivers, defrag my hard disk and upgrade my graphics card every 5 mins just to get a game going. A lot of you seem to say that all I have to do is maintain my system, check my drivers, it's probably user error etc. Do you know how many times I've had to check my PS3 or Wii drivers? How many times I've had to defrag my PS3 hard drive or read the box to make sure my specific Wii has the performance to play a game with "Wii" written on the box? It is exactly this sort of maintenance that pushed me away from PC games, and this is exactly the sort of article I come to Escapist to read. Games are about playing, about having fun, not about upgrading my DirectX drivers, or even needing to know what the heck DirectX even is. For the record I'm a silicon chip designer, not some tech noob, so this isn't some sort of Luddite desire to be ignorant of technology. I just choose to believe that when it's game time it's fun time, not OS debugging time.

I'm the complete opposite. I love PC gaming, I can deal with the stupid DRMs mainly because I use Steam and it works nicely. I love having to troubleshoot stuff, I find it entertaining. I do it all for the free community made content, something that makes it impossible for me to go back to console games.

I also don't have to deal with the 10 year old playing a game he shouldn't be playing for another 8 years who has quite a colorful vocabulary. Or at least not as often...

chuckwendig:
You throw a pile of PC parts in front of me, and I'm likely to need a nap.

Throw a pile of PC parts in front of me and I'll probably take them. I mean, what am I supposed to think if people are just randomly dumping PC parts in front of me if not "FREE STUFF! WOO!"

chuckwendig:

But newsflash: I don't have time to build a PC. I don't have time to build a television, a blender, a fridge, a car. I don't sew my own clothes. I do not slaughter my own cattle. I buy something, I personally would like it to work with minimum frustration.

These are bad arguments bordering with exaggeration.

Why? You compare putting together a car from a kit with building a PC. Well a modern car has usually more than several thousand parts while PC has usually less than 10.

Blenders nor TV sets aren't sold in parts to the consumer market. You can make one yourself from available electronics but that is not an usual thing to do, like putting together a PC.

Slaughtering cattle is a really bad argument. The PC components are like ingredients and spices available at a store, they just need to be combined and cooked into a dinner - I guess buying prepackaged already cut stakes in the local supermarket is too much time consuming because it has to be cooked first.

Finally time argument - Building a PC isn't a day per day job. An hour or two once a year or even longer for some components (a good fast cpu and a quality mainboard can last several upgrades on the graphics front before becoming a bottleneck to new games) plus a good PSU and chassis that can last for years.

Of course, if someone is not interested even an hour seems too long.

chuckwendig:
Man, I know. Sometimes I stick gum in the DVD drives. Other times I just sort of take off my pants and hump it? Then I get these great pop-up windows and they're in Chinese and Russian, and I click 'em for hours -- it's a fun game! It installs all this crazy software on my computer. Then my monitor catches fire. I use the fire extinguisher on it.

Lather, rinse, repeat!

You mean I'm doing something wrong?

Yes, you're not putting vids of it up on YouTube.

Edzor:

Frankydee:

Gaming is just gaming...

How WRONG you are...

That's like saying that a person that watches soap opera all day has the same good taste in cinematography as a person that goes at the cinema to see the newest releases and review them on specialist websites...

Totally WRONG.

Right so min specs arnt actually the min specs, id say thats another mark against the pc.

Edzor:

PC gaming is not only a way of passing the time, like making calls on your Iphone or watching TV, or playing on a console...

PC gaming is a way of life, a hobby, only comparable to hobbies like modelling airplanes, collecting stuff, piloting aircraft, etc.

There is a certain difference in dedication between a PC gamer and a Console gamer, and that in itself makes all the difference in the world, and that is why PC gamers are elitists, because they put quite a bit more time and effort and knowledge into what they do, as opposed to Console gamers.

You know you sound like a real arogant fuck who thinks because he plays on a pc hes automatically better then anybody else. Just because your FORCED to put more time into your pc to make games work doesnt mean that you are better. Infact most people would say your stupid for doing so. PC gaming is EXACTLY like console gaming in that its just another way of passing time. Dont try to make it out like its somehow above the others because it isnt.

Khaiseri:

Here are my current specs:

Pentium 4 2.6 GHZ
2 GB of RAM
150 GB HD
nVidia 8400Gs (graphic card sucks BTW, it seems that it runs as good as an 6600) 512mb PCI Express 2.0
OS: Windows 7 Ultimate

As you can see, my PC is VERY outdated, but I've never had any issues with it, and that's why I love PC, because even if it's a bad one, you can still enjoy part of it with no issues if you know how to maintain it, optimize it and make it work. I always loved old games, specially in comparison to new ones, so I have no problem at all visiting old games.

EDIT: Also I can run SC2 fine with those specs BTW.

Shit if those specs are very outdated I dont even want to know what you would consider mine as they are well below that.

RhombusHatesYou:

chuckwendig:
You throw a pile of PC parts in front of me, and I'm likely to need a nap.

Throw a pile of PC parts in front of me and I'll probably take them. I mean, what am I supposed to think if people are just randomly dumping PC parts in front of me if not "FREE STUFF! WOO!"

You are much wiser than I.

In fact, you're probably stealing my PC parts while I nap.

I deserve it, admittedly. :)

-- Chuck

I find it odd that the Escapist would post this at all really, it's nothing but an ignorant hate speech from a person that has clearly never properly learned to use a computer.

Chuck Wendig:
Punching the Baby Seal of PC Gaming

You see that cute little baby seal? Chuck Wendig wants to punch that seal in the mouth because Crysis locked up on him. Again.

I soooo totally hear you Chuck Wendig -- contributor.
I so empathised.
It was like when you listen a song or watch a film and think of suing Bob Dylan or Ridley Scott (or Gerard Damiano) for basing their stuff upon your life. It was like that reading your post. And so I too have looked upon baby-seal-bludgeoning-cudgels on do-it-yourself shops and thought of saving up for one, on countless occasions. And the reason has been, yes, PC configuration, but mostly, Steam.
Steam should be listed as a prime nemesis in the list of "Prime Nemesis of Earth" by Green Peace, since it may very well be the main reason of baby seal bashing globally.
My first experience, the very very very first experience with Steam: An inoperable game seating besides this computer I write from. Mocking me with every second it passes from the point 3 years ago when I tried to install it to have... fun. The game was not even a new one. It was a game that every computer in the world right now, and maybe even some mobile phones, should be able to play without the tiniest most feminine and delicate hiccup. Half-Life... ONE. The first HL. The one from some 10 years ago.
After 4 or 5 days of f(ish)ing around with the Steam support team for the problem I finally gave up. By then I should've finished the game and be smoking the post-coital cigarette of a well done job on a game well played. Instead I was still fighting with the chaperone Steam team trying to make them let go of MY game so I could have a time alone with it and play it whenever I wanted. Maybe if I was into SM I could have enjoyed 5 or more days of punishing and unresolving emailing as a sort of foreplay.
Alas! I am not and the chaperones won. My incomplete game (the disc only includes 98% of the game, the rest you must download and install from Steam) still rests near my computer to remind me of never forgetting (nor forgiving).
Choosing to use Steam is fine (up to anyone's free will), but being forced to use it as they did when they sold me 98% of a game, that is not.

We have to ask now... How many more times do you think I was tempted on buying anything from that service, if they could not even make that game work on my well kept, well maintained computer?
Fortunately for the baby seals, the answer is: not many more.

Note: At the present time I own no weapon for infant otariidae ursinus-bashing.

Console gamers, answer me this:

How am I suppose to prove how enormously large my ePeen is if everyone's gaming system was identical, huh?

MaxPowers666:

Khaiseri:

Here are my current specs:

Pentium 4 2.6 GHZ
2 GB of RAM
150 GB HD
nVidia 8400Gs (graphic card sucks BTW, it seems that it runs as good as an 6600) 512mb PCI Express 2.0
OS: Windows 7 Ultimate

As you can see, my PC is VERY outdated, but I've never had any issues with it, and that's why I love PC, because even if it's a bad one, you can still enjoy part of it with no issues if you know how to maintain it, optimize it and make it work. I always loved old games, specially in comparison to new ones, so I have no problem at all visiting old games.

EDIT: Also I can run SC2 fine with those specs BTW.

Shit if those specs are very outdated I dont even want to know what you would consider mine as they are well below that.

Could you write them down please?
Maybe they are the cause why your PC isn't that good and why SC2 doesn't works well with you. My processor is actually the minimum required, and it's 2gb for windows 7 and Vista.

chuckwendig:

RhombusHatesYou:
Throw a pile of PC parts in front of me and I'll probably take them. I mean, what am I supposed to think if people are just randomly dumping PC parts in front of me if not "FREE STUFF! WOO!"

You are much wiser than I.

In fact, you're probably stealing my PC parts while I nap.

I deserve it, admittedly. :)

Of course I'm stealing parts. I'm Australian, it's what I do.

I did leave a taipan in the case in exchange for the parts.

I'm not even going to read all the replies to this thread, I can guess what they say. I disagree with you totally but kudos for having the balls to say it.

Unless you just happen to love getting abusive emails, in which case get help :)

chuckwendig:

Man, I know. Sometimes I stick gum in the DVD drives. Other times I just sort of take off my pants and hump it? Then I get these great pop-up windows and they're in Chinese and Russian, and I click 'em for hours -- it's a fun game! It installs all this crazy software on my computer. Then my monitor catches fire. I use the fire extinguisher on it.

Lather, rinse, repeat!

You mean I'm doing something wrong?

-- Chuck

Hahaha good response, but I didn't mean that you were stupid, just that you weren't interested in your PC so you don't look after it properly. To use your car analogy, if you want it to run smooth and comfortable all the time, buy something simple that you can have serviced every couple of years. If cars are your hobby, buy something nice that you tinker with and maintain yourself - someone who can't identify and maintain the majority of what is under the hood isn't really a petrolhead.

Edzor:

Well DUH, if you expect your PC to run Starcraft 2 and it's even LESS than that spec, you are more dumb than I thought...
to
But that should be obvious, from the grammar you use, anyway.

I am done debating the complexities of PC gaming with an ignorant retard like you, good day, sir!

I love how you dodged my main point there, and well actually everything I said. I will ask again though why put min specs on a game if they arnt actually the min specs to run a game. I mean you dont see people selling 360 games in ps3 cases do you? Its pretty much the same thing. I guess I shouldnt be surprised, your using the oldest trick in the book. When you know you have lost an arguement insult the person not what hes saying.

Khaiseri:

]
Could you write them down please?
Maybe they are the cause why your PC isn't that good and why SC2 doesn't works well with you. My processor is actually the minimum required, and it's 2gb for windows 7 and Vista.

Id have to look later im at work right now. But im still running XP since vista was fairly new and not standard on computers when I got mine. But it still runs wow so im happy with it and my laptop can run pretty much anything.

chuckwendig:

Sikachu:

Chuck Wendig:
snip

I'm sorry, but all I read here was 'I'm incompetent at administering my computer' repeated for four pages. Maybe if you didn't buy fucking pre-built Dell computers and actually took and interest in what you are playing your games on you wouldn't have any problems, but since you're the kind of person that bought an iPhone I can see that knowing about how things work really isn't something you're interested in.

Man, I know. Sometimes I stick gum in the DVD drives. Other times I just sort of take off my pants and hump it? Then I get these great pop-up windows and they're in Chinese and Russian, and I click 'em for hours -- it's a fun game! It installs all this crazy software on my computer. Then my monitor catches fire. I use the fire extinguisher on it.

Lather, rinse, repeat!

You mean I'm doing something wrong?

-- Chuck

Roflmao! Man that totally sounds like an awesome time hahaha.

Sir u need to write more articles for the escapist :D

chuckwendig:

You'd think that with all that pent-up agita, you'd actually read the article.

Clearly, I am playing PC games. How do I end the article? Fuck PC games. Except for, y'know, other PC games. Yes, I am going to come back to this poisoned teat again and again because it offers games I can't get elsewhere. (Ahem cough cough Civ 5.)

But newsflash: I don't have time to build a PC. I don't have time to build a television, a blender, a fridge, a car. I don't sew my own clothes. I do not slaughter my own cattle. I buy something, I personally would like it to work with minimum frustration.

You don't have these problems? I'm not suggesting you do. I wrote an article. It's full of True Things. People seem hell-bent to dispute my experiences, as if my experiences must be also indicative of their experiences.

They're not.

You love PC gaming?

Keep playing those games. No harm, no foul.

As I said, I'll keep going back to them, too. And I'll probably bitch about it and put my foot through my monitor, but that's my bag, not yours.

And for the record, my mic is not a cheapy mic. Works great for Skype. Further, my microphone on the 360 works just fine, too.

-- Chuck

Hmm, well it was just a suggestion on the mic. But you said EVERYONE ELSE seemed to have trouble with they mics... I still hear muffled mics on L4D... I assume they are like how I used to be. I.e. you could have a great mic, but that won't make everyone else's mics any better. Also, I have found terrible chat on the time I spent paying 360 online, it's like a racist 13 year old shouting down a drainpipe.

It's a shame these difficulties seem to get to you so badly. But remember what I wrote on building your PC: time spent building your own is time saved dealing with PC assembler (Dell) bullshit.

I don't want this to turn into an iWorld where everything is locked down, dumbed down and controlled for "our convenience". Look how Steve Jobs releases the iPad in competition with netbooks... only arbitrarily removes Flash support.

I know we don't sew out own clothes, but dammit what is stopping you? You could if you wanted to. Like I don't know, sew back on a button yourself rather than having to go to a tailor or buy a new one? Because ANYONE can sew a shirt, that allows a much more open and dynamic market. OK, this shirt-PC-gaming analogy is tortured enough.

I don't like console gaming because it is fundamentally bad for business. It is walled garden economics, it exploits the consumers and the developers in favour of the all powerful console seller who control the network and all the games on it and all the users too. It harms creativity and competition.

Anyway, forgot to say: great article. Very thought provoking, I don't find it offensive, though I still would like to understand more about WHY you get so angry at PC gaming in general because Games for Windows Live AGAIN screws you over. I mean what other things inspire such barely containable anger in you? I need a frame of reference because though you have described how your anger came about, things like that never get me that angry.

Excellent article, spot on in every way. Im an avid PC gamer but Im slowly switching to consoles for gaming needs; I have a relatively high-end PC but still get plauged with these lovely issues and like the author's dad said theres an expectation for this stuff to just work when you're coughing up so much dough.

Theres some games that I have to play on PC though but I feel thats more out of habit. FPS games for example to me _have_ to be played on a keyboard and mouse in front of a monitor. Trying to play them on a console gamepad a few feet away from a tv just doesnt feel as right.

Sikachu:

chuckwendig:

Man, I know. Sometimes I stick gum in the DVD drives. Other times I just sort of take off my pants and hump it? Then I get these great pop-up windows and they're in Chinese and Russian, and I click 'em for hours -- it's a fun game! It installs all this crazy software on my computer. Then my monitor catches fire. I use the fire extinguisher on it.

Lather, rinse, repeat!

You mean I'm doing something wrong?

-- Chuck

Hahaha good response, but I didn't mean that you were stupid, just that you weren't interested in your PC so you don't look after it properly. To use your car analogy, if you want it to run smooth and comfortable all the time, buy something simple that you can have serviced every couple of years. If cars are your hobby, buy something nice that you tinker with and maintain yourself - someone who can't identify and maintain the majority of what is under the hood isn't really a petrolhead.

That's entirely fair -- but I actually do maintain my PC pretty diligently. (My car, ehhh, maybe not as much as I should.) That's my point, despite diligently attending to the Care And Feeding Of The Common Household Desktop Computer, I still run into issues.

It may be because I have Dell or because of ATI, but it's not user error -- it's not something I'm doing. I'm actually an ex-systems admin. I'm not a computer genius, but I'm not a brick-brained bucket-head, either.

-- Chuck

Sikachu:

Chuck Wendig:
snip

I'm sorry, but all I read here was 'I'm incompetent at administering my computer' repeated for four pages. Maybe if you didn't buy fucking pre-built Dell computers and actually took and interest in what you are playing your games on you wouldn't have any problems, but since you're the kind of person that bought an iPhone I can see that knowing about how things work really isn't something you're interested in.

This statement mirrors my thought process when reading that article.

I mean, what did that article explain to me, other than "you're really bad with PCs" and that GFWL caused most of those problems and is a plague upon mankind that I hope dies soon?

But yeah, every time I hear tales like this, my first reaction is to wonder how so much can go wrong.

Crysis has always worked fine for me. Except when (using XP) I installed two sets of drivers for my GPU and everything went to hell. Luckily, Windows 7 sorts stuff out automatically, so PC gaming is getting easier.

Also, Fallout 3 exists on PC for mods.

By the way, Saints Row 2 is a shitty port that makes me want to go full fanboy on console gamers.

To sum up in one phrase: PCs go wrong?

MaxPowers666:
Id have to look later im at work right now. But im still running XP since vista was fairly new and not standard on computers when I got mine. But it still runs wow so im happy with it and my laptop can run pretty much anything.

Mmm, you bought it already built, isn't that right?
That normally isn't such an issue, but I always recommend building up your own computer, as it lets you customize it with your price range and normally it's cheaper than buying an already built one. But still it's no slouch either.

I tend to build my own computers, specially because the last time I bought one already built, it was lacking the Graphic Card socket.

Well, you just have awful, awful luck. Only Fallout 3 has EVER given me any grief of any kind.

Sebenko:
But yeah, every time I hear tales like this, my first reaction is to wonder how so much can go wrong.

I keep telling people, it's a gypsy curse. They don't just do wasting diseases and having people dragged off to hell, you know.

A mate of mine ran over a gypsy's dog and now he can't get mobile phone reception anywhere.

Treblaine:

It's a shame these difficulties seem to get to you so badly. But remember what I wrote on building your PC: time spent building your own is time saved dealing with PC assembler (Dell) bullshit.

I don't want this to turn into an iWorld where everything is locked down, dumbed down and controlled for "our convenience". Look how Steve Jobs releases the iPad in competition with netbooks... only arbitrarily removes Flash support.

I know we don't sew out own clothes, but dammit what is stopping you? You could if you wanted to. Like I don't know, sew back on a button yourself rather than having to go to a tailor or buy a new one? Because ANYONE can sew a shirt, that allows a much more open and dynamic market. OK, this shirt-PC-gaming analogy is tortured enough.

I don't like console gaming because it is fundamentally bad for business. It is walled garden economics, it exploits the consumers and the developers in favour of the all powerful console seller who control the network and all the games on it and all the users too. It harms creativity and competition.

Anyway, forgot to say: great article. Very thought provoking, I don't find it offensive, though I still would like to understand more about WHY you get so angry at PC gaming in general because Games for Windows Live AGAIN screws you over. I mean what other things inspire such barely containable anger in you? I need a frame of reference because though you have described how your anger came about, things like that never get me that angry.

Thanks for the comment!

My anger is dialed up for purposes of humor (the week's issue is, of course, called COLD DARK HEART). But I do feel a sense of frustration that things don't necessarily work like they should -- whether it's the Dell, Fallout 3, video drivers, whatever. Something's falling down on the job, and I promise, it's not me. Despite the happy image of me wearing a football helmet and head-butting my PC while gumming up the vents with sticky jam-fingers, I'm not actually a moron. I just don't have the patience or time anymore to address this kind of technical snafu.

-- Chuck

this is exactly why i prefer console gaming. because you know that every game you buy will run on your console.

Personally I haven't had PC problems in many many years. I think most gamers problems are buying PCs that are mass produced, Dell for instance. I have a PC shop custom build me a system (good shops will most likely have a website were you can specify what you want easily) or do it myself so I can get that hands-on care in my product. Mine is almost a two year old pc that cost $700 after windows. If there is an issue, its only due to a piece of hardware failing (which just happens over time) which can be replaced without buying a new system (sometimes, if your motherboard goes you might as well buy new memory and cpu)

Love the angry style.
The Fallout 3 installation ordeal reminded me of similar experiences, and indeed with age they start getting very, very tedious.
Take, for example, games that use multiple content delivery platform (I.E both steam, and games for windows live, or an equivalent). They should at least carry a huge red sticker warning us about being extra annoying to install, as in "Caution! You might have to wait a few hours downloading a patch for another program, which will offer you no benefits whatsoever besides being able to eventually play this game".

Forgive my naivety, but Games are supposed to be about fun. If I wanted to waste my time feeling the frustration caused by ridiculous bureaucratic idiocy, I'll schedule an appointment with a local doctor

And, instead of a baby seal, may I offer punching the annoying "read the manual" folks instead? Then you can tell them to go read the manual about stitching facial lacerations.

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