Escapist News Network: Blizzard Warning

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I for once embrace our new Blizzard overlords! All hail Blizzard! ( Please don't cut my internet, I need it for my...interests...).

You guys are the best news source around! As for me, if Blizzard keeps bringing out amazing games they can have my internets!

you always have to make change for slurpees

I know this is supposed to be a satirical, comedic, conspiracy theory, but it really does make you wonder. What is Blizzard doing with all that money? Scary thoughts people. Scary thoughts.

Fight the man! Wait... I own StarCraft, WarCraft 3/expac, World of Warcraft (all expacs) and StarCraft 2... Down with the world! I just wonder when Blizzard will buy a small country somewhere with all their pocket change.

Fuck a small country they could buy Russia with that money and rename it Azeroth.

Also what good game did Grin make?

I have to get all my RAAAAAAAAGE out now, thankyou ENN! I have work to do, and instead i'm gonna be doing this! I hope you're happy...

Grin studies made some absolutely goddam fantastic games. That's just not personal preference either, that is scientific FACT. Take a look at this:

That is the single most awesome box art ever. Anyone who disagrees is lying or insane. And the game was incredible too. It truly is the Fastest Game on Earth™. Hover-jetbikes... racing down tunnels at Mach 10. There is nothing about the previous sentence that doesn't make me cream my pants. No doubt about it, the best sci-fi racing game ever made. Move over Wipeout, get lost F-Zero, this is the BOMB!

Then, they follow it up with two of my favourate FPS's of all time, Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 1 & 2. Now, if you've played the other Ghost Recon games, then you'll realise the GRAW series was a far cry from the originals tactical depth and roots in Tom Clancy Novels (by Advanced Warfighter they had dropped Mr Clancy's name from the title). But to be fair, Ghost Recon 2 was a big disappointment, and the original Ghost Recon was starting to look very dated. These two FPS's, instead of just trying to be clones of its forerunners, tried to step in a bold (but not necessary new) direction of being straight-up FPS's with little to no tactical depth. True, you could still order teammates around the AO and plan assaults, using the latest technology to spy on the enemy with satellites or an automated aerial drone, but it didn't have the same huge open areas or varying weather and environments that the first GR did, which really allowed an armchair general to come into their own. But still, it was a pair of amazing games, the graphics were absolutely incredible, and can still hold it's own with any titles today (at least, the PC versions can). If you've never played them, they're difficult, but you're missing a treat.

So maybe Grin's latest titles have been awful (Bionic Commando, Wanted:Weapons of Fate), but that doesn't besmirch their earlier work! Salvador Dalí's later work was shit compared to his earlier stuff, but at least he didn't have publishers breathing down his neck trying to get him to make rubbish movie and arcade knock-off games!

I'm so sorry to rant, but i really feel you did Grin an injustice there. They were a pioneer in their day, and you judge them based purely on what they've made in the past 2 years. If a man be judged by the sum of his actions, then let a Games Developer be judged by the sum of his work. And Grin's good games far outweigh their bad ones.

Besides, look at the next game they had in the pipeline, Fortress! That looked incredible. I think we all missed out on something special there.

Oh my god.. I'm actually in this episode?! That's footage from the first Protocol 42 when they tried to turn Protocol 42 into a monthly thing. That scared me absolutely ****less to first recognize the room, tables, and then I see myself AND my father?


For the record, I was attempting to play EvE Online, my father was playing Trackmania. The internet connection was horrible so no one could stay connected to anything. ;)

WOW! Where did he come from!!! That was awesome! Blizzard is the future skynet.

Considering that the internet is most used for "other" and that Blizzard lords have tendencies to ban the "other", wouldn't it be equal to killing the hostage?

"What does that guy's shirt say?"

The shirt I was wearing says, "Your Favorite Band Sucks".
- wes

LOL Blizzard is going to use all it's money and buy Zimbabwe and rename it "Azeroth" (or maybe "the Eastern Kingdom").

Ya know, as far as Big Blue keeps making good games like SC2 and Cata, I am cool with it.

You can have my heart, hand and internet at any time Blizz!

WHOA is that the guy from Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie?

hah the scene changes in rex' piece were amazing and impotent

Listening to Kathleen intone "jerkin' it, pullin' the pud, slappin' the weasel" had me in stitches XD

More because I wasn't expecting that particular phraseology...

I loved Blizzard Warning! Bring that guy back for more conspiracy theories!

Glad to see I'm not the only one with contempt for Bungie's "reward" for the people who still have a PC copy of Halo: Combat Evolved...

What about people who bought it on the original Xbox, Bungie?? What about the people who gave you your mighty powers??

I love this show to bits- keep on keepin' on, guys!

i love wes borg used to listern and watch three dead trolls in a baggie hes a legend


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