Unskippable: Alpha Protocol

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Alpha Protocol

Watch in awe as a prick tries to be a spy, who is also a prick.

Watch Video

Lol @ grid Tvs

Good thing that missile didn't have a premature detonation. He'd never live that down.
That multi screen director gives a whole new meaning to the term "BIG BROTHER"
:P

OK this is strange but I now want to play Alpha Protocol, I have a suspicion that the rest of the game will be accidentally funny, even without Graham and Paul.

he needs to work on his suaveness?
yeah let's go with that

ColdStorage:
OK this is strange but I now want to play Alpha Protocol, I have a suspicion that the rest of the game will be accidentally funny, even without Graham and Paul.

You just gave me an idea.
Graham and Paul Heckling:The Video Game
Suck on that Mystery Science Theater 3000!

The suave option always struck me as a double-edged sword. If the context for using it is right (like a private conversation with someone else in your room) it can earn you big favour points. But if the context for using it is wrong (like trying to impress your boss) then it bombs spectacularly. :D

Still, that's kinda what makes it so fun. And aye, those TVs really were wonky with that closeup on Yancy. :p And while I personally adore some of the suave lines that come later on in the game, say what you will about their quality, but at least they aren't made on this level. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puFeCHzpvPM

I never thought about that IV thing, its a good point.

Anybody else think that the pause between the end of the episode and the credits was odd?

Wow. That cutscene was really, really boring. I had to replay parts because I'd tune out and miss the jokes.

And the first thingI'd do is rip the IV out of my arm. Makes perfect sense: I saw it on TV.

That was more flabbergasted than sarcastic. And suave seemed more arrogant idiot.

Webcam probably isn't the way to go if you're trying to do a mission briefing. Mission briefings need a little more production value.

Calendor1:
I never thought about that IV thing, its a good point.

Zachary Amaranth:
And the first thingI'd do is rip the IV out of my arm. Makes perfect sense: I saw it on TV.

Yeah that really isn't a good idea, trust me. I've woken up in hospital more than once. Also they kind of hurt and tend to bleed when they're taken out, even carefully ;)

Anyway, the cut scene really does look pretty dull, I especially agree with Paul about the TV grid.

Now to download that missile sex tape.

I'll be in my bunk :D

I have a friend that woke-up after a car wreck and pulled-out the IV with the intent to look cool. Big mistake! He said it hurt like a female dog. It was, however, really cool. His father had fallen asleep at his bedside and awoke to find him standing, panting, and detached.

Creepy that these guys are also making New Vegas...

The rest of the game is pretty good (the mechanics are pretty wonky though).

Just treat it as a silly WAY over the top spy thriller and you should have a good time.

Haha, at point 02:03 where the TV's broadcasting the news are turned off I was like: "G-Man, what the hell?"

hawk533:
That was more flabbergasted than sarcastic. And suave seemed more arrogant idiot.

Webcam probably isn't the way to go if you're trying to do a mission briefing. Mission briefings need a little more production value.

Yeah and like they say. Why on earth the video quality in every thing is in so bad quality? :-/ Like if you use webcam, spend more than 7USD to that! :)

Need more moon jokes

James Bond: I think you made your point. Thank you for the demonstration.

Auric Goldfinger: Choose your next witticism carefully Mr. Bond, it may be your last.

James Bond: (Thinking) Okay I can be sarcastic, suave, or just ignore him. Crap he's walking away. I'll choose SUAVE!

(And thus movie history changes forever...)

The dialogue system in this game is seriously messed up.

LOL vfunny cinematic again guys.

canadamus_prime:
The dialogue system in this game is seriously messed up.

Really, I find it moreso refreshing than most others I can think of. Heck, I like how it keeps you alert due to the time limit, that is seriously something I wish for in Bioware RPGs. Though I will agree with Yahtzee's asessment that the single-word descriptions are sometimes far too vague.

heh...one of these days I'm gonna try out this game just for the heck of it

Loonerinoes:

canadamus_prime:
The dialogue system in this game is seriously messed up.

Really, I find it moreso refreshing than most others I can think of. Heck, I like how it keeps you alert due to the time limit, that is seriously something I wish for in Bioware RPGs. Though I will agree with Yahtzee's asessment that the single-word descriptions are sometimes far too vague.

It's the vague one-word descriptors that are messed up. How the hell am I supposed to navigate my way through a conversation when I'm not entirely sure what my character's going to say at any given time? The time limit just exasperates the issue.

Uuuuurgh, Alpha Protocol.

Worst part: It's buggy as hell. At one point I was walking out of a room, and as I was standing in the doorway I realized I had forgotten to pick up some ammo the guards in the previous room had dropped. So I turned around and realized the game had decided that room was dumb and unnecessary, and had despawned the floor, leaving me to fall into white nothingness. Despite reloading the game, the room STILL had no floor when I looked.

Second worst part: All boss fights are REALLY REALLY TERRIBLE. I actually won one of them by making sure the boss got stuck in a staircase. At that point, I fired ~150 assault rifle bullets at his head. Fun thing, the bugginess saved my ass from this super-hard boss.

Third worst part: The voice actor for Thorton is a huge dick all the time, no matter what option you pick. I don't understand why everyone doesn't just punch him in the face every time he has a conversation.

Despite all these things, AP had potential. Potential enough for me to see it through to the end anyway.

Hehe...he never really was all that charming, puts bond to shame!

canadamus_prime:

Loonerinoes:

canadamus_prime:
The dialogue system in this game is seriously messed up.

Really, I find it moreso refreshing than most others I can think of. Heck, I like how it keeps you alert due to the time limit, that is seriously something I wish for in Bioware RPGs. Though I will agree with Yahtzee's asessment that the single-word descriptions are sometimes far too vague.

It's the vague one-word descriptors that are messed up. How the hell am I supposed to navigate my way through a conversation when I'm not entirely sure what my character's going to say at any given time? The time limit just exasperates the issue.

I really, really dislike that time limit. What usually happens:

You'll get the options "bomb", "pants" and "walrus".
Then the NPC will ramble on for a long time about the nice pants he's wearing, something about a bomb, and in the last final nanoseconds before the timer runs out, he'll mention that if you talk about walruses, he will reward you with a million dollars, leaving you scrambling and failing to push the correct button.

A little breathing room would be nice, thank you.

SpecklePattern:

hawk533:
That was more flabbergasted than sarcastic. And suave seemed more arrogant idiot.

Webcam probably isn't the way to go if you're trying to do a mission briefing. Mission briefings need a little more production value.

Yeah and like they say. Why on earth the video quality in every thing is in so bad quality? :-/ Like if you use webcam, spend more than 7USD to that! :)

And why do all HDTVs suffer from a bad case of interlacing? Makes no sense!

Grid TV's are awesome ^~^! I would love to have setup like that, lol! Great video again >~<!

Nice job gentlemen. You're truly the MST3K of video game commentary.

this ep wasn't as good as last weeks.

I didn't laugh at a single joke

For some reason that looked... significantly uglier than I'm remembering those conversations[1] being when I played through them a month or so back. It's enough to make me wonder if the reason I never got why people complained that Alpha Protocol had "bad graphics" was because I played it on the PC, and not on a console - if that's what the graphics on the X-Box look like throughout the game, then I totally get those complaints now; Alpha Protocol is hardly breathtakingly gorgeous on the PC, but it's a far cry from ugly, and that was definitely ugly.

[1] Only the beginning section is actually a cutscene, everything else they spliced together were parts of conversations from the intro level, minus the gameplay in between and dialog from Westridge over the monitors and PA systems.

I laughed pretty hard at "Because you suck at flattery."

Gildan Bladeborn:
For some reason that looked... significantly uglier than I'm remembering those conversations being when I played through them a month or so back. It's enough to make me wonder if the reason I never got why people complained that Alpha Protocol had "bad graphics" was because I played it on the PC, and not on a console - if that's what the graphics on the X-Box look like throughout the game, then I totally get those complaints now; Alpha Protocol is hardly breathtakingly gorgeous on the PC, but it's a far cry from ugly, and that was definitely ugly.

This. I also played on PC and the graphics were significantly better than that.

The game itself is awesome, and well worth playing -- as long as you remember that it's an RPG, not a shooter. (Just because *you* can aim doesn't mean your character can.)

Pretty hilarious.

Did anyone see that guy light his cigar, the flame looked like a blowtorch.

2:02 - It's the G-Man! That agent needs to prepare for unforseen conequenses.

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