Zero Punctuation: Split Second: Velocity

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Locrian:
REVIEW STARCRAFT!

You mean starcraft 1 then? :)

Next bloody time the august bucket would come around I hope he'll review Okami.

As for this review....ok. Never heard of Split Second.

Thanks for digesting another bad game so I dont have to.

Don't worry Yahtzee, you were already a prick XD

I'm pretty good at racing games. I've gotten the S Class license in Gran Turismo 2 and 3.

Yahtzee, you failed your driving test? Here in Michigan you're not a man unless you can drive a car.

Yeah, I played the demo, and I kind of liked how the course can change a bit and all, but it just seemed so *random*.

I love this game! And it does actually change the course layout as he suggests. And the best part is using large explosions to actually alter the track during the race! Like any race game, I'm sure it gets repetitive once you've learned all the possible course configurations and all the possible detonations and how best to use them - but you can't possibly do that on one playthrough. And, of course, being the misanthropist that he is, he doesn't mention the split-screen co-op.

Still, funny video, especially the grammar rant.

Not bad. I played the game some time ago and the review covers all the good stuff. I like how he continuously takes shots at the game's target audience... heh. Even though I'm bad at racing games myself and would never consider actually buying this one, I do want a disco ball now.
The foetus joke was over the line, though (imo). I don't know why, but this one just came off as too tasteless.

meepop:
Ok I'm sorry for asking but is that really the title? I picked up the game Split/Second in June, and didn't know whether it was a different game or the same one. Other than that, spot-on with the review and good job! I was hoping he'd review it and my hopes have been answered!

Don't worry, they're the same game. Disney just decided to add Velocity in the title for the PAL regions. Don't know why, though.

I find your lack of starcraft 2 disturbing.... okay not really.
good review

I thought this was a great review and funny, even though I have the game and do understand the points he makes, i still like it.

So, they make a big map, and only put one course on it? Really? I'd think it'd be easier just to flesh out a few more streets and put down a second course than it would be to make a whole new map.

Also, I wonder if there's any truth to the comment about the driving test, because I have a depressingly large number of acquaintances who have similar experiences. "I was driving on the wrong side of the street for a half a block and the instructor refused to let me drive him back to the testing site. It's not like there was traffic or anything in that lane."

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

Your tears... so delicious

This one had a lot more content in it than usual, so twas ace!

And you're not the only one with that sort of drive school experience, I can assure you.

I hate racing game basically because I suck at them.

I liked the review as usual, but the D&D huge banner thing was a bit strange. Preferred it to the pre-video ad for a game though, those never load right.

I'm going to be really super geeky tomorrow and drive around those fake courses Yahtzee drew on that map since the red one goes past the village I'm in. I'll record the lap times, although the blue one may be a bit too long.

Kekon3:
... so wait, did you like it?

The constant stream of insults and criticisms of the game's core mechanics didn't clue you in?

hawk533:
I'm pretty good at racing games. I've gotten the S Class license in Gran Turismo 2 and 3.

Yahtzee, you failed your driving test? Here in Michigan you're not a man unless you can drive a car.

Hey, a fellow Michigander :).

I thought we weren't men here until we ramped a car off the Mackinac Bridge in December...while wearing only our underwear.

Oh, and yeah, I think Yahtzee reviewing this game is about the most only interesting thing related to it. Sure looked dumb from the commercials.

Locrian:
REVIEW STARCRAFT!

You missed the last two, didn't you?

Freebird.:

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

And crying about it will make it better?

Anyway, the episode was pretty good. The Thatcher comment was hilarious.

O ya you're real cool. Well Im sorry if I find the reasons for getting put on probation on this website to be pointless. Like grade school teachers sending you the principles office for not having your shirt tucked in. I was wondering if anyone else on this website felt the same. Not to cry. I sware it was dirt in my eye lol.

Don't worry, you were a prick before touching Split/Second, but now you have something to blame it on. Or you can fall back on delayed Australian release times. That said, I think you could have gone more into the slash, it makes me twitch every time I read it.

I laughed through the entire thing. Fantastic review Yahtzee. I wonder if he'll review Blur.

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

haha. yes. it is very wrong, because its against the rules. posting without watching/reading is a violation, and especially if you only did it to be first.

and yes, I always thought that whole "watch your enemy explode" thing would get distracting especially in a game where at any split/second you yourself can die if you're not paying attention >_>

Loonerinoes:
This one had a lot more content in it than usual, so twas ace!

I agree, not a single penis joke.

Lol great review as per usual yahtzee

Locrian:
REVIEW STARCRAFT!

Beacuse you like starcraft or beacuse you want to see him tear it up?

Any game that tries a T.V style presentation is doing it wrong, and need reminding that they're working on a game. Plus a racing game needs as many tracks as can be fit without compromising the gameplay. Also, if the game involves power-ups they shouldn't punish a player for doing well, like the Blue Turtle Shell in Mario Kart.

Holy shit, no one got probation/suspension on a ZP video. This is a new record.

Other than that, nice review, and I'm disappointed in myself for laughing at the pregnant women joke.

I actually passed my driving test because the guy administering it thought he was going to die and didn't want to do it again.

The review actually seemed to cover my experience with the demo. I was wondering if there was anything more, and even taking ZP with a grain of salt, it appears not.

I played Michael Bay racing at a friends house, it was ok but personally it has nothing on the Burnout series. Essentially, its been done before.

I think Yahtzee missed commenting on the obvious, or perhaps avoided it. The reason why they have so few tracks is probably not because Micky Mouse lacks talent as a gay S&M dominator and his legion of computer programmers/boy toys were as a result not working hoping he'd punish them better (or whatever sick thing Yahtzee was implying), but simply because Mickey realizes he can sell additional courses to the players, especially ones from this demographic, as DLC. Will you pay $5 for them to recycle art elements and let you drive down the same track in reverse? Will you pay $15 for three new courses? Well if "you" are the target audience for this game, like most "shooter" players the answer to this is probably "yes".

I'm pretty sure as Mickey has a bunch of well oiled, whip mark covered computer programmers resting in a form of contented fear in the cages he keeps in the dungeon under the Magic Kingdom Castle (in hopes Minnie won't find out), having produced plenty of maps that are simply being held back until Scrooge Mcduck tells Mickey that his analysis of the market dictates that it's the ideal time for a release.

Also you can now thank Yahtzee for scarring me for life, the image of a whip wielding Mickey (or at least a guy with mouse ears) lashing a computer programmer will cause me never to view him the same way again. The pain... oh god the psychological pain... [screams and runs off]

ForensicYOYO:

Freebird.:

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

And crying about it will make it better?

Anyway, the episode was pretty good. The Thatcher comment was hilarious.

O ya you're real cool. Well Im sorry if I find the reasons for getting put on probation on this website to be pointless. Like grade school teachers sending you the principles office for not having your shirt tucked in. I was wondering if anyone else on this website felt the same. Not to cry. I sware it was dirt in my eye lol.

The mods have always probated/suspended anyone who posts before they can finish watching the video and you are not exempt from the rules. Having to be the first to post is just pathetic anyway. You can always just wait until you've watched the video. So no, it's not pointless, it's stopping pointless posts.

You know...you can DODGE those things...

And you have to time your explosions. Yahtzee here just seems to randomly hit the button when the big icon pops up.

Christ, if I sucked as hard as Yahtzee at the game, I'd hate it, too.

Loved it, one of the best ZP in a while.

I'm guessing Kane/Linch 2 is going to be next?

SamElliot'sMustache:

Kekon3:
... so wait, did you like it?

The constant stream of insults and criticisms of the game's core mechanics didn't clue you in?

nnnnnno.

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